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Kitten78 · Nov 11, 2008, 02:12 PM

Hello,

So a little history my guy and I have been together a year. He has always been a little broken as he has had many losses in his life. Our relationship has always been almost perfect and I am not ready to end it. He has become distant lately and after a week of silence I received a text from him...

Did he break up with me? It sounds like he wants to but he didn't really say it. And as immature as it sounds his stupid myspace still says "in a realtionship". Seriously we are both in our 30's. He is also in a band and I was not at the last show... Our fight started because I was unhappy that he did not come see me one night. (He mentions we never see each other but we hadn't seen each other because he ignored me for five days)
It has been four days since I received the text. Also he is a Leo if that means anything to anyone. I am a Gemini.

"I really don't know what to tell you. I have been bummed all week. The way you get when you don't get what you want is something I will not deal with. And I doubt I will ever be able to do/be what you want. I don't want to be hurting you- it's not fair - and I don't need to feel like I am letting people down all the time...

I don't know whats for the best right now... I'm trying very hard to pick myself back up again and I need to concentrate on that.- I've got a long way to and the more distractions, the longer and harder it will be. I have spent too much of my life in situations that weren't right and I won't do that anymore.

I want to say these things to you in person... but seeing that we never see each other I am saying them now. I most certainly do not want to deal with this at the show."

kctiger · Nov 11, 2008, 02:58 PM

He seems to be very down on himself right now, and I don't think he knows how to deal with it. The best thing you can do, in my opinion, is just don't push him and let him know you will be here for him if he needs you. At this point, I would say that he does not want to be in a relationship right now, but the last thing he wants is one more person (you) to be upset at him, so he is avoiding you. It is a rough spot to be in for both of you. You seem like the stronger one, and you should be able to cope with what may be a harsh reality: it could be over.

Justwantfair · Nov 11, 2008, 03:00 PM

Sounds to me like he is hurt and upset with your relationship right now and he wants you to understand your part. You are both contributing to the silence and it is bothering the both of you. Swollow some pride and make time to hear him and really listen to him. If you want this to work do your part to work this out.

Kitten78 · Nov 11, 2008, 04:18 PM

I have made several efforts in trying to communicate with me. No response to any text or phone calls. I wrote him a message last night telling him how I felt and that I was not going to continue to pursue him if he could not respond to me.

It was a genuine heartfelt letter. I was not mean or harsh.

So now I wait...

*sigh*

talaniman · Nov 11, 2008, 05:24 PM

He needs time and space, give it to him!

Kitten78 · Nov 13, 2008, 01:17 PM

How much time is acceptable to wait?
It has been another week with no contact.
Guess I cut my losses and move on?

The silence hurts so bad I doubt I can take him back now...

kctiger · Nov 13, 2008, 01:19 PM

Forever. Cut the losses and move on. Work on yourself and your issues so this doesn't happen in future relationships.

Boristheblade · Nov 13, 2008, 02:16 PM

Yeah it does sound like he's implicitly breaking up with you unfortunately...

Kitten78 · Nov 14, 2008, 01:20 PM

Ok here is me bieng juvenile and stupid...
Why has he not changed his myspace status...

Does he think we are still in a relationship?

kctiger · Nov 14, 2008, 01:22 PM

Maybe he knows you will look at it and ask questions like this... maybe it isn't the most important thing in his life to change his myspace status right now... got your mind going though didn't it :)

Boristheblade · Nov 14, 2008, 01:24 PM

Maybe. Or maybe he doesn't see it as an option to change it. Maybe he doesn't feel ready to change it even though he knows he's single. Maybe he doesn't want everyone to know he's single yet. Maybe he hasn't even really noticed that's what it says, and maybe you should stop checking his myspace and speculate on what he means with his actions when I suspect you know what that text message meant... Maybe.

Kitten78 · Nov 14, 2008, 01:26 PM

It drives me CRAZY!
Everyday I look to see if he has changed it! :mad:

I am to afraid to change mine cause then I feel like its really over.
And then he will change his and I will be sad.
Seriously? Am I 30 years old??

Is he so weak that he is waiting for me to just get mad and end it because he can't do it?

kctiger · Nov 14, 2008, 01:28 PM

Myspace and Facebook are absolutely the DEVIL in break ups. Avoid them at all costs. You see how it got your mind going? It does more harm than almost anything you can do because it leads your mind to questions and assumptions... NO GOOD!

ZoeMarie · Nov 14, 2008, 01:32 PM

My husband and I have been married since June now and in his "who I'd like to meet" he still describes what he's looking for in a girlfriend. He finally updated it to "in a relationship" after we were engaged. You really can't go by people's myspace pages because a lot of people don't care about it as much as others. I remember it drove me nuts when we were together for months and it still said "single" but getting on myspace wasn't his top priority either.

Kitten78 · Nov 17, 2008, 06:06 PM

I am still in denial.
No contact from him in about 10 days but he has done this once before. I keep waititng to hear from him and nothing...

Uggghhh!
I keep reading that text and I just don't get it.
I am so mad at him for kind of leaving it open...

I honeslty never saw this coming which I think is so hard for me to understand.

neverme · Nov 17, 2008, 07:35 PM

[QUOTE=Kitten78;1369152]

'He has always been a little broken'[QUOTE=Kitten78;1369152]

Sorry but it seems like you have been accepting that he is going to nag, be pissed off, cry... whatever he feels like. If it was me I'd give him space if for no other reason than absence makes the heart grow fonder. Then again, I don't find a victim very attractive.

Just an opinion.

neverme · Nov 17, 2008, 07:36 PM

Originally Posted by Kitten78

'He has always been a lil broken'

Sorry but it seems like you have been accepting that he is going to nag, be pissed off, cry... whatever he feels like. If it was me I'd give him space if for no other reason than absence makes the heart grow fonder. Then again, I don't find a victim very attractive.

Just an opinion.

ZoeMarie · Nov 18, 2008, 08:58 AM

Originally Posted by Kitten78

Uggghhh!!
I keep reading that text and I just don't get it.

Delete the text

kctiger · Nov 18, 2008, 09:01 AM

Yeah, you need to rid yourself of that text, as you seem to be overanalyzing it... perhaps you should change your number as well, this way you won't be waiting for him to call you.

liz28 · Nov 18, 2008, 09:13 AM

It seems like he does not want to talk to you and right now it is time to let go and accept what is going on.

You both are in your thirties but it seems like he want to help childish and play childish games because adults talk but cowards hide and now a days people dump each other through email and texts instead of at least picking up the phone and talking that person.

If I was you I would move on because and let go because if you don't you will only cause yourself more pain and misery. Do you really want guy like this in your life that runs away instead of talking to you and who wants to dump you through a text, I wouldn't.