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-   -   The relationship timeline. (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=208150)

  • Apr 23, 2008, 07:17 PM
    simoneaugie
    Some people just process things that way. It's probably a combination of nature and nurture in their upbringing. My husband is like that. We've gotten past it by talking about it.

    I told him that when he "leaves" I feel abandoned. He told me that sometimes, his emotions are so overwhelming and he has to think about it for a few days. Now, even if it's me that he's mad at, he is good about telling me. "I'm really mad, I'm going to my cave, but I'll be back!" Then it's time to let it be his stuff.

    At that point, it's a good idea to talk to my girlfriends (not about his anger) and find other things to do. Men really are like rubber bands. (Men are from Mars... )
  • Apr 24, 2008, 07:22 AM
    talaniman
    Your right he has issues he needs to deal with, and until he does, you won't have a clue as to how to deal with him.
  • Apr 30, 2008, 10:55 PM
    confoundedj
    is there any way out? Bf's name stuck on a mortgage for the sake of his family
    This is a complicated situation of which I do not know all the details.

    My 33yr old boyfriend bought his parents' house 3 years ago. His father's company went bankrupt and the bank repo'd the house. His family did not know what to do, his father was undergoing a severe depression, so his brother decided to try to buy the house but his credit was not good enough. My BF ended up having credit god enough to take out a mortgage to buy the house so his parents could continue to live there. He moved back home.

    I do not know what the exact agreement was, but I think his mother, father and youngest brother that was still living at home, were supposed to pay most/maybe all of the monthly mortgage as well as the property taxes. Lately, his family has not been coming up with enough money to cover the payments and didn't contribute anything towards the property taxes. Since my BF's name is on the mortgage, he always has to come up with the money. The stress of dealing with this is ruining his life, his finances, his relationship with his family, and is hard for me to understand. What sort of a family would ask this of their child? Are they not aware of how this is ruining him?

    I'm trying to see a way of this for him, but there is no good solution. He cannot think of turning his family out, and even if he sells the house he is at a financial loss. His parents argue that the high utility bills prevent them from coming up with the money. His youngest brother (25?) hasn't had a job for months.

    I do not know what kind of conversations he has with his family, although I understand that contact has been minimal lately.

    Is there any way out? If these were random renters they would have been evicted, but it is his family, he could never do that to them.

    Anyone have any advice??
  • Feb 8, 2010, 08:03 PM
    lostinlove1221
    Well my boyfriend and I said it within a month of knowing each other and two weeks of actually dating. I admit we are still in the beginning of the relationship but we both know what we are feeling is love and that will never change (negatively). I also think that the reason some people take a long time to say I love you is a) they've been hurt before and don't want to get hurt again or b) they're scared the other person may not feel the same or feel like its too early or c) they want to make sure of what they're feeling (like its not the honeymoon phase)
    So you I don't think there is ever a perfect time for all relationships to say it like it just depends on the couple and how they feel about each other
    Let me just add if its real love you know it , there is absolutely no confusion about it :) <3

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