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-   -   Relationship breakup (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=70817)

  • Mar 10, 2007, 08:54 PM
    jro4786
    Relationship breakup
    My boyfriend of almost 5 years just broke up with me.. without any explanation... how am I supposed to get over him or get him back if at all possible?? Please help I love him more than anything in this world!!
  • Mar 10, 2007, 08:56 PM
    user812
    Just give it some time - things will become more clear.
  • Mar 11, 2007, 01:23 AM
    Nohitter410
    You need to give more information for that to move forward... but either way no contact will give you both options

    The thing you need to focus on is to understand that he broke up with you and he is missing out on everything you have to offer. Have fun and enjoy life and being single. There are more important things than a guy who can just break up with you after 5 years and no explanation. You don't want to go back to that but if you do either way you need to show him that you don't need him in your life to be happy. He will come crawling back and you will either figure out you are much better than he deserves or let him slowly re-enter your life. You need no contact for awhile, no texts, ims or calls none for awhile. Don't answer his stuff either. It will work trust me
  • Mar 11, 2007, 01:35 AM
    guitargal
    He's going to come back... my ex of 5 years (we broke up a year ago) did the same thing. He got in touch with me and cleared it up (and boy was it messy). Chin up girl!
  • Mar 11, 2007, 11:35 AM
    Geoffersonairplane
    I don't think you should count on him coming back and you must prepare yourself for the worst. He may never come back. You need to do this to allow yourself to prepare for the inevitable healing process. I find it strange that he offered absolutely no explanation after 5 years together and to me it seems that no closure has really been obtained here. You just don't do that to someone.

    I don't want to fill your mind with negatives because I know how you are feeling but hoping that he will come back is not going to help you in the slightest. It will debilitate your healing but actually this is quite normal in the early stages and is part of what we call Denial. There is nothing wrong with what you are thinking and feeling and for the time being, I would suggest that you ride these emotions through until you are comfortable to begin to face the reality of the situation. I speak from relatively recent experience, my ex broke up with me 6 months ago after 3 years together and it broke my heart, it really did and I felt much like you. It took time and I still say this now and again here at AMHD, I still have my passing thoughts and memories and that is o.k. but I have accepted the reality and given up on false hope. It all took time and lots of grieving for me, trust me, allow yourself a good 6 months, perhaps even up to a year to fully get through it. Everyone is different and this is no race.

    I can't honestly say if your ex will come back and I don't believe anyone can. It really depends on why he left in the first place. He never gave you any real explanation which I find quite strange and also very inconsiderate, 5 years is a long time to be involved with someone in a relationship. You need to cut all contact and I mean all contact and get busy by keeping yourself occupied. Lean on your friends and family for a few months and try your best to enjoy being single. This does not mean you need to rush out and date and to be honest, that would just result in a possible rebound anyway. I mean enjoy your freedom without him. Like I said, you need to prepare yourself for the inevitable possibility that he may not be coming back no matter what you do. Take Care and I hope that whatever happens, you see that light at the end of the tunnel.

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