9 yrs and can't stand him anymore, how do I leave?
Been with hubby since I was 14, now 24. We will be together 10yrs in June. We just had our first baby 10months ago. He's always been a mean person, although there are some great days, but all the bad ones outweigh the good. I'm tired of hearing about every single thing that I do wrong in his eyes. If I happen to go to sleep late, I'm evilly yelled at to sleep on the couch and get out of the room. If I clean the whole house, there's no appreciation, only complaint about how I should've done better. There's so many things, I'm so used to being mad at him for being this way, I always call him a "B", because he B****es all day.
He is so bipolar, always trying to be nice right after he just yelled at me for something or told me that I have a big head. It's weird. I don't have much love for a man like this. I want to be able to get excited to see my man after a long day of work, I want to run and jump in his arms and kiss him all over, but with this man, it's weird to do that to him, I don't feel the emotion if I do. It's no love. Although I want to leave, I start to feel sick, as if someone close to me died. Idk why it's not easy for me to leave. I don't know if its hard because I'm scared of being with a new guy or if it's that everything is in my name and I don't want to end up having bad credit or if its really a heartache.
Any advice to be able to leave him? I always tell myself, once everything is paid off, I will leave everything to him and start fresh. I don't want anything that has to do with him. (We own a roofing business that I started up with his knowledge, but with my money and skills, I built it up to where it's at now, but when I became pregnant, he stepped up and now does everything, I just sit back and relax, kind of how he did for the first 4 years of the business) anyway, I just want to leave without feeling sad for him or feeling sick because it's something new. It's almost like a home sick feeling.
Any advice anyone?