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-   -   Love denied (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=4780)

  • Jul 31, 2004, 02:37 AM
    Saker
    Love denied
    Hey there. I've been in a serious relationship with a man I really love beyond a doubt and deeper than the earth for almost three years. At the beginning of this week he split up with me out of the blue. I have recently graduated and have moved home which is not far away from him now, which solved one of the problems we had, the distance. He's had a bad week at work so is feeling low, and his situation at home is not exactly his ideal with his parents hardly being supporting. We had plans together for when I got a job (which looks likely for the very near future) we could go live together as we always wanted. I believe he's done it because he's on a low and feeling discouraged because of his parents; they pretty much leave him to it, but don't offer any support or help, and recently told him they would not allow him to leave the house if he didn't have a job secured even if it was to live with me and I could support him. I know his parents well and we get on great. He claims that it is because the timescale, he want us to be together now (I get the impression of "if not yesterday" too).

    Yesterday he wanted and needed my company, he admitted that yesterday he wanted me back. Other than that, he's been putting a stubborn mask on, trying to justify what he's done.

    I have been very very depressed and upset since it happened, I have never cried so much in my life, and the pain is deep and razor sharp. I love him totally and I believe that behind that mask he still loves me too, he admitted he does but says he can't voice it because he split us up. I know that because I love him so much I should let him go if that's what he wants, but because I love him so much, I can't. I really really want and need him, and he wants and needs me even though he denies it. What is he doing? What should I do? I want us to be together as we always dreamed.
  • Jul 31, 2004, 10:49 AM
    Jahiem28
    Re: love denied
    Hi Saker I want to first congratulate you on your graduation ;D. My first problem I see is that you have too much faith in your boyfriend. In your post you stated that you love and need him about 5 or 6 times which is cool. But you also stated that you know your boyfriend loves and needs you too. Never assume that any man or woman loves you. I can tell you are a deep person and love to show affection. Love is an expression and everyone emotions are different. I'm not trying to jump on your back or anything like that. I just want to make the point the reason you are hurting so much inside is that your faith is totally 100% into your boyfriend which is not healthy. Could it be your boyfriend got cold feet when he knew u were close to graduation and he knew you were about to move back home which meant he would be seeing you more. Believe it or not that why a lot of long distance relationship work out cause you learn to appreciate the person more and then when it comes to the everyday thing the relationship can change in a instance. Solution: It seems that you already had plans of getting a place together. Give it try. Maybe you can start by having him stay with you on the weekend and then a couple of days during the week. I know his parents don't want him to moved out. Parents have a hard time of letting go but that just part of life. GOOD LUCK TAKE CARE!

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