She is confused about her ex...
Hello,
This is my first post here. Sorry for the length.
The girl I have grown very close to over about five months and have dated for two months had to stop seeing me because she has confusing feelings about her ex and her past relationship. We spent a good deal of time together and she think I am incredible. She says she isn't sure if she would be able to give it her all right now if we were to become more serious but it's not that she doesn't want to and maybe in the future. Both of us love being with each other and it's unlike anything I have had.
She has had three long relationships, three year and two two-year, and has jumped right into them one right after each other. This last one ended in March, but she started just going out all the time and dating casually so she never took time to get over it. She was OK until we started going out and she realized how much of a future we could have; that reminded her of her past relationship. Her ex messaged her before we started dating and they talked, apparently he still likes her but she isn't even sure she wants to get back with him.
Obviously she still likes him, which I assured her is normal, but she isn't sure how much or why she is has these feelings towards her past relationship. She did tell me she was mean during her last relationship and she is different now; that they broke up because neither was happy and they wanted different things. Now she has regrets how she acted at that time and thinks things could have been different but doesn't even know if she wants to try again.
Now she is stuck in limbo and has been for quite sometime. We spoke on Monday, she says she is trying hard to figure out her feelings and finally needs to take the time to sort through them but she hasn't gotten anywhere since her relationship ended. Her ex won't really giver her closure and now she has all these mixed feelings towards him after dating me. I told her she has to talk with her ex but she wouldn't even know what to say.
I was devastated when she told me; she said if we never have a chance in the future she would regret it and always think I'm a great guy. She promised to tell me if she makes any progress and what happens with her ex.
She doesn't know what to do and I don't want to be pushy. I think she needs to figure out what she wants for herself in her future and make a decision to move on or get back with her ex despite her emotions being confusing. One problem is her indecisiveness.
I want to be there for her but I know we can't talk everyday like we used to, or even for a week or more until I'm feeling better.
I seriously think this girl is perfect for me and she thinks I'm perfect for her. I know I can't wait around for her and can't hurry her healing process. I'm really frustrated by this whole thing and there is nothing I can do.
I don't really know what to do besides give it time and try to move on. I'm giving her space for a week or two before I contact her again, she said she would keep me updated on how she is doing. It's not like she wants to ditch me but I've caused conflicting feelings with her.
I think she is worth fighting for, but I know only she can make a decision. She gets attached to people easily and doesn't like to let go. Her ex won't make a decision either. I guess just being around to talk every now and again is the only thing I can do?
Also she is very honest with me, I believe her when she says she still has feelings for me and wants to stay in touch.