Hey everyone, thanks for reading. I'm 23 years old . My girlfriend is 21. We've been dating for just over 4 years and our relationship has been pretty good, we tend to fight a lot, I come from a family that never yells but hers does she she's very vocal with our fights. Anyway that's not a big deal . Over the last year our sex life has been brutal . We have sex MAYBE once every 3 weeks to a month. And she doesn't enjoy given head or handjobs and doesn't like doing anything else . At first it didn't bother me but now its really fustrating. Every time we hang out I bring it up and ask to do stuff and she gets mad because I'm always asking but its because we never do stuff! I feel like we've been drifting. I still love her but I can't live like this. I want to just try and tell her we should take a break because I need space to think about everything . What should I do? THANK YOU!!

I'm guessing the fights are a big deal to her. What do you fight about? When she's upset, do you listen?

Also, did you use to have a good sex life? When did it start to go downhill? Have you asked her why she's not interested? And then really let her talk and try to listen?

It's hard to tell from your letter what's going on with you two.

If she always use to be like this than its probably her personality. But if this is recent behavior than something is clearly up, something you guys have to talk about

No offense here, but all you talked about was the fights, but hey that was NOT the real problem. What bothers you the most after being in a relationship with this young lady for 4years is that she doesn't give YOU enough sex, no hand jobs or anything else.

Ever stop and think the reason she doesn't is that she doesn't get off on pleasuring just YOU. That giving you head and hand job just isn't her idea of pleasure, or course before you break up with her you might want to know that most woman don't get off just pleasuring a man. They actually enjoy having a real man do some pleasuring to them!!

Whatever relationship you get into you might as well know that after 4years the HONEYMOON is all OVER--sorry to burst your bubble here. You will be right back to were you are now. Of course the next woman may not be so vocal in the fighting dept.

In most relationships, you only get what you give. NOT all, but most. If you feel there is no future do to other aspects in your relationship such as the lack of communication, friendship,loyalty,and yes even attraction then by all means you need to end the relationship.

Just simply advise her that you don't feel the same towards the relationship, that you need to move on with your life. That you wish her the very best in life. Then make sure you go total NO CONTACt so you don't prolong her heartache.

Take care

I'm not going to talk about the sex thing cause you really have to an open and honest conversation with her about this. I have a simple question for you. When you see her or have to do something with her is it something you want to do or does it feel like a chore?

Well, do you return the favors? Do you let her know HER pleasure is a priority to you? Most women don't enjoy being begged and begged to give out favors without even hinting at anything in return. And also, that's the wrong way to approach it in my opinion. Are you starting with kissing, making out, etc etc? Don't ask "can we do something now??" No! I can't speak for all obviously, but some of us really hate that question. It's robotic and redundant. Be spontaneous and passionate. No questions, just start passionately kissing her and see where it goes.

Put the attention on her first, make her feel like a princess and that her pleasure is important to you. If you just jump into the whole "time to give me a blow job, ***???" thing, no wonder she's turned off by it. I'm willing to bet she'd be more "generous" if she feels as if her needs are just as important as yours. Approach it differently.

But as always, a long open honest talk needs to happen here. These fights may not be a big deal to you, but maybe they are to her. It could be contributing to her lack of interest in sex as well. Talk, talk, talk, and really listen to what she has to say.

The *** is chat talk for the word "please" to avoid any confusion. Sorry about that!

Quote:

---

I want to just try and tell her we should take a break because I need space to think about everything . What should I do? THANK YOU!!

---

Tell her we should take a break because I need space to think about everything