My boyfriend of a few years and I have a loving, caring and intimate relationship together. Last week we had a slightly out of character discussion about our future with children, we do not talk about children and marriage in our future so this was certainly odd that he would bring it up. A few days later he was cold, dry and moody with me, and I knew exactly why it was because this time of year reminds him of a horrible event in his past that occurred one Christmas and he always low during the holiday. Every year, however, I stand by him and we get through it together, though this year he was much worse and I put it down to the fact that he had picked up a bug that he was feeling particularly bad, it also explained why he was quiet and lethargic.
Sadly, any of my attempts to make him feel loved and better were pushed away, he pushed my kisses away, brushed me off him and I started to feel slightly more concerned about the situation as the day went on so I confronted him gently about it. He said "I think I love you, I just can't be sure", "I did love you, at least" and "you were attractive to me" these statements were very hurtful and I couldn't understand where they had come from, the night prior to this he openly, freely without hesitation and as normal as ever said "I love you" and now he does not know at all.
He has called for a break until next week and cancelled Christmas Eve with me which is something we always spend together. He says he need some time to clear his head to be sure he still loves me and if not then it will be over, he handed me my one Christmas gift, which did not surprise me much. He told me many weeks ago what it was and said it would be okay because he would have another little surprise for me and he wouldn't tell me but he never did. I feel quite embarrassed as I have bought him four gifts for this Christmas and his mother has them so he can open them on the day. I am not looking forward to next week at all as I am almost sure he will be leaving, his family are going to question where I was this Christmas Eve and we will be exchanging gifts too. I will be returning some items of his to him as will he to me whichever route we go down.
I am very confused, very hurt, shocked almost, I cannot understand where this has come from so suddenly. I feel I have done something wrong or hurtful towards him but he swears I have not, he is absolutely not doing this because he does not want to leave me just before Christmas because he is an awful liar and I know him all too well. I have not made any effort to contact him as he didn't want me to and I do not intend to either, I just do not know how to feel or what to do with this situation at all, it's so unlike him.