Hey folks, I'm new to all this, I'm feeling really down this week. I have been drinking a lot lately and so I'm planning on trying to sit in for a while, the problem is we all had a night out planned in a few weeks. I really want to stay in but I'm so worried about my boyfriend going out without me... we have been together for over 5 years and nothing as ever happened, none of us have 2 timed each other (as far as I know) but yet I find it impossible to trust him. In the past if he has went on a night out or away to a football match for the weekend I have just dealt with it and got together with friends. I can't work out what is wrong with me. I am extremely jealous, uncontrolably within myself, but not of other people and what they have just if they are near my man... I hate the way I behave like this it eats me up inside. I feel worthless and unattractive and stupit and awkward. Can anyone help me out with this? The last boyfriend I had 2 timed me with his good friend. Before this I wasn't jealous or anything like that. This happened 5 years ago, could it still be damaging me like this? I feel nothing for my x anymore and we get on as friends now just fine. He was the first love I had or so I thought becos when I moved on from him I realised it wasn't love at all. So if anyone can give me their point of view on this id be grateful. :)

You have been in hurt in the past, maybe this is reflecting in your insecurities right now. This is a bad situation to be in. It can only result in a speedy downfall of your relationship.

Try to reinvest in yourself if you don't already. By this I mean:

1) Find a new direction in your life, which doesn't include your partner
2) Your primary concern should be you, not your other half
3) Why not discuss your concerns with your partner? Perhaps explaining you need a bit of reassurance. - don't push it to far though
4) Try find some new hobbies and friends
5) Get away for a few days without said partner - it will give you time to reflect!

What do you think is fueling your mis trust towards your partner?

I believe yes it is still haunting you. You are behaving in a manner only to save guard yourself from hurting again, but if you trust your current partner, believe in him and not your past relationship/

My girlfriend is doing the same thing to me right now and I want to let you know that as the person who is being targeted it only pushes me further away from her. Just know that just because one guy has cheated on you doesn't mean that every other guy is like that. He probabley loves you more than the world and would never do something like that. I would recomenned seeing a professional doctor or someone that you can speak openley with. Get an outside opion from someone who doesn't know your relationship period. And stop drinking all that is going to do is make you even more unlevel headed. Drinking will only take the pain away for the rest of the night and then in the morning it is worse. Good luck.