Contact my ex on her birthday or not
My ex broke up with me about a month ago. It was a long distance relationship, which obviously has its challenges. Anyway, she told me that she thought we should see other people while she was home one weekend. She said that she realized that she didn't love me as a boyfriend and just wanted me to be a best friend. I told her that she couldn't have her cake and eat it too. At first she would contact me a lot just looking to talk and she would get choked up a bit and tell me that she missed me. I wasn't getting clear answers as to why this all came about so I checked her Facebook (I don't need a lecture on the morality of this. I know I invaded her privacy but decided I wanted answers and I stick by my decision). I read a conversation between her and a friend; turns out that she was not sure about the distance but there is also some guy that she is working with that she is interested.
She told her friend that she feels terrible leaving me and is so split on what to do and doesn't know if she wants the distance. She said that she switched into the guys morning lecture and has hung out with him (this is all post breakup). The guy has a girlfriend. She even said she would feel horrible if some girl had done that to her and I. She contacted me again a day later and I told her what she was doing was wrong but she just said I didn't know the whole story and that she hadn't done anything. I said that the idea was there and she was wrong. Not sure if she still talks to him.
I deleted her number and removed her from my friends list on Facebook, then I told her not to contact me anymore until I could figure out what I wanted and could get over her. She got upset about this. She later texted me a really urgent text over her spring break asking to talk asap because something happened. I skyped her that night to make sure she was OK and she broke down crying about losing a bracelet I had given her. A week after that she texts me that she is at a concert for the band that sings our song, but they hadn't played it yet... I responded in a way to make sure there was no conversation that ensued.
I'm really confused as to why she is telling me she just wants to be friends but goes ahead and does all of these things anyway. I am not over her but I can see that if she doesn't want a relationship that it won't work between us. I am a very rational person when I'm calm and can think things through but I don't know what to do about this situation so I'm just talking it day by day. I thought I was getting over her but after seeing the text about our song and the bracelet I'm confused. I'd like to know what you guys think about my situation as a third party that has no emotional connection to me and can shoot me straight. She is not a bad girl. I know that she still has feeling for me and that is part of why she contacts me but I will not be played for a fool and get dragged along.
I'd like some advice, wisdom, ideas (as long as they're serious). I'd also like an opinion if I should send her a Happy Birthday email/text/or call and just leave it at that and end the conversation there. I have feelings for her but that's not my reason for the b-day wish, I'm doing it to be polite (I don't hate her and truly do want to wish her a happy birthday). Thank you every one!
