He does not know what he wants.. Help!
What does it mean when a guy who used to be my boyfriend for over a year and a half tells me that he does not know what he wants! He has been confusing me a lot recently! He ended our relationship but he keeps telling me that he is lost and he does not know what he wants! He would tell me he misses me a lot and he is the saddest without me and then when I talked to him yesterday on the phone, he would tell me but that does not mean I want to be together again! But the day before he says he would like us to get to know each other more as friends to see if he wants to be with me again! The problem was that when we met we didn't spend enough time to get to know each other so we were trying to have a relationship but we failed! I was hurt yesterday because he started to tell me that I should keep my distance and I should lower my love for him and I should try to be his friend and he will work on him trying to work out what he wants!
He ended the phone call in not a nice way! He said "ok so now I'll go back to my singlehood and you keep your distance.." but at the same time he was really upset and hurt when I told him before that we shouldn't hear from each other then! He does not want that either!
I still love him and I have feelings for him! How do I behave with a man who does not know what he wants? How can he realise for himself? He also tells me that I am a girl with good qualities and he knows that he will have a hard time find a girl like me but at the same time he does not want to be together now... Why? My mum tells me that because he still young (24) and I am 26 maybe he hasn't matured enough to know what he wants.. What should I do? I am hurting so badly! I want to talk to him.. I want to write him an email! He said to me the day before many things which made me believe he wants to take it slowly and try as friends first... he even said so we can grow together.. and now he is saying that he never said that it means will be together again! :(
Read between the lines girl...
Dear sweet soul,
I can't tell you how amany young women have been in your shoes, hell, I was one of them, well, I was about 10 yr. younger than you. What happened to me though was over a course of 5.5 years with the same guy, then I waited 2 years, then went to another dog... thank god that with situations comes growth, because I saw his game head on and cut the relationship off immediately... hell, he and I hadn't even bumped uglies! Anyway, let me give you a piece of advice that is fool proof. Ready?. here goes... and I hope you are paying attention... LET HIM GO! BECOME ABSENT TO HIM AND HIS NEEDS! He is treating you the way you are allowing him to treat you; i.e a doormat for a man who doesn't know what the heck he wants! Bull! Honey, this may hurt, but he has moved on... so should you. And I'm not saying be a slut and bed down as many willing aprticipants as you can, but you got to let go... completly! Trust me, a man realises when he has lost a good girl, cause they come back... he'll be back, but you got to back up off him... let him miss you, irreguardless to how many times you want to hear from him, hell, let him call you, but don't call him, okay? Trust me, a man can't take it if a woman becomes unavailable to him. Grant his wish, why don't you? Trust me, hell be back, and if not, his loss right?