Hey all,

I feel like I am sturggling a bit, there are a few things I just want to get an opinion on...

As you may, or may not, know, I have been talking with my ex in a friendly manner for a few weeks now. It is probably true that I never totally got over her, but things were looking quite good as far as getting back together, and I didn't want to ruin that. AFter a conversation last night, I am starting to feel I may have been wrong.

I have known all along that she had feelings for someone else, though not much can happen between them because of their school situation, and he is moving away. In any case, she mentioned to me on the phone that she was afraid "I had forgotten" he was there, as she was not mentioning him as I asked. Truth is, I never forgot that he was there, though I was thinking he was less in the picture as she never talked about it. She wanted to be sure that I didn't forget that he was there, and she didn't want me to slip into thinking we were already getting back together. This made me feel as if there was something bigger going on, and she was afraid to tell me, but in all honesty, nothing is and I was just overreacting to what I already knew.

I was upset, and still am to a degree, but its more confusion than anything. I honestly believe I was beginning to heal even while I was talking to her. I could see her as a just a friend, and I still do, but saying things like "the reason we broke up was because I wanted to be single" still hurt me.

Now I am not sure where I need to be headed. I would love to remain friends with her. We have been talking once or twice during the week, and would see each other on the weekends sometime. I will not be home for another two weeks, and this is when she is out of school and this other someone is gone.

I know I am most likely going to be told to disappear and not talk to her at all, but I'm not sure if I can do that knowing she still thinks about us being together in the future. She has told me that lately she has been 'waiting' for the summer to see what happens, and that is basically what I wanted to do. After all, its only two weeks away. I also know that she still has feelings for me (she has kissed me, holding my hand, hugging me, etc), but she seems to be a different person at school. She told me that this may be because "he" is at school, and she is more distracted by friends.

Im starting to get really sick of being upset every single day. For God's sake, three months is long enough. I hate waking up and being down about everything. I hate being afraid to think about anything for fear of upsetting myself. I hate wanting to call her, just to talk to her, and knowing that I cannot/should not.

How can I leave her behind when there is a chance (from both sides) we will be together again?? Does moving on and getting over it necessarily mean there is no more chance?

Sorry for the long post, sometimes I just get sick of my life the way it is, and that scares me.

Yeh no contact will help you. After a period of healing then you can decide. You will be more emotionally stable as well. Give it a good few months probably about 6 before you start light contact again. Of course if she is seeing someone else by then, then hey you would have moved on, if your still hurting now is not a good time. Every time you speak to her your going back to square one! So NC for a bit, concentrate on the things you want to do and what you enjoy. Have fun enjoy life. Or in a few months you wouldn't have got anywhere.

I just thought of another point:

If the thought of her with someone else still bothers me that much, its obvious I haven't gotten over her. I just don't see how I can get over her, because I can't walk away from an opportunity to have the best thing I've ever had.. again.

Exactly! Well maybe it isn't the best thing ever. Why put your life on hold. Learn and be stronger, next time don't give yourself away to easy. Hold back a bit in your next relationship and have your own life, that way it will be easier with your next break. Unfortunately if one pair doesn't fit then we move onto the next until we find the right one and this isin't usually until were in our 30's + Also I don't believe in the one, so plenty of fishes who can provide something new and refreshing :P Just keep your friends and family close. You can only rely on yourself!

AND OF COURSE YOU CAN GET OVER HER.

Thanks for the advice Jiser...

I know that I can get over her, but this is my problem.

How can I move on, as in give up on her, when I know there is a chance. Its probably stupid, but all I want is to be with her again, and I know there is a chance. Knowing this makes it so much harder to move on, because that requires me saying "Its never going to happen again".

I feel like my choice is: Keep hurting and wait to see what happens with the chance we have, or move on and risk being miserable because I will always wonder what if.

I can't say I know exactly what your going through but I am hurt all the same. I still love my ex boyfriend and he claims to love me too. But whether we get back together is still unanswered. He wants me and I want him and there is only one thing in our way. And that is fear, the fear of getting hurt again, the fear of losing that "one", the fear feeling that same pain and getting the same wounds all over again. But I plan on stepping up because wounds will heal even though the scars remain. You should not fear but embrace. If you leave her alone one of two things could happen... 1) she could miss you dearly and realize you are her "one". Or 2) she could forget your existence and date that other guy. Which ever you decide to do, I wish you the best of luck. And if you ever need anybody to talk to, about anything, please know I am here. I may not know you and you not know me, but that doesn't mean we can't help each other get through this mess called our love lifes.

If they wanted you back, they would bloodie well let you know! So if they don't there is no chance, none of this hot and cold rubbish, move on and get healthy both of u

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Originally Posted by Jiser

If they wanted you back, they would bloodie well let you know! So if they don't there is no chance, none of this hot and cold rubbish, move on and get healthy both of u

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So basically your saying by moving on, I'm not really making anything impossible...

If its going to happen that way, it will no matter how I have moved on?

I only hope that I can remain to get better while remaining in contact with her. It seemed to be working, and I still feel healthier than I was, though this latest incident makes me challenge whether it is possible for me to lose the desire to be with her, when I am friends with her. I know its harder this way, I just hope its still possible.

Thanks again for all the advice Jiser, to be honest, I look up to how well you've handled your situation -- I hope I can be there sooner rather than later.

You are not going to get over her as long as you are stuck in hope of a reconciliation and are still talking to her. The fact that she made a point to remind you about the other person says that she knows you want to get back together and this was her way of letting you know that it isn't happening. She was slowing you down and reminding you that you are no longer together. You clearly don't want to get over her and until you reach a point that you are either ready to try to get over her or know that you absolutely must get over her for your own sake, you will continue to torture yourself in trying to be her friend. Everyone would like to be friends after a breakup, it's just simply impossible right away sometimes and that's life.

It sounds like you haven't really accepted her reasons for breaking up and that you are hoping that this other guy will just "go away" as he is moving to go to school. But the trouble here is that the problem likely isn't all about the other guy. If she wants to be single there will likely be some other guy if it isn't the one who is moving.

I just think that you are playing with fire here and are going down a road where you will be hurt. She still kind of "has you" while getting to date other guys. If fact she still has you waiting. She may begin to lose some respect for you. I read in a book somewhere "Hanging around and being available if your ex wants you back does nothing for your self esteem and nothing to make you more attractive in his or her eyes. Neediness is not as appealing as self confidence." Just keep this in mind. Be true to your own needs and be careful here.

If she wants you back she will let you know. I agree with Jiser. This waiting around business is not helping you. If she wants to date other guys, she likely will whether you are being her "friend" or not. I hope you don't have to learn the hard way like I did.

I have been doing a bit of thinking today, and I think I have gotten somewhere...

First off: SouthernBelle,
It is hard for me not to wait around because of the actions that she "accidentally" does. Holding my hand, kissing me, saying she sees us in the future, etc. She did all of this unprompted, and completely out of the blue. To be honest, I think her mind changes too much, and I analyze what she was doing too much.

You are right about the being too available thing. I was trying to be her friend, and I was not contacting her at all. I was giving her the space that she wanted, but I wasn't letting her know that I was gone. She has known the entire time that I am still here, and she is using that against me - whether she knows it or not.

Now the part that scares me. She will lose all of her friends in two weeks. They are all moving quite far away, as her schooling is over. This includes the other someone. When this happens, she will be expecting me to be here, for her to talk to. All of a sudden, I am good enough to talk to again - because nothing else is left for her to do.

Maybe I'm just angry, but I am starting to feel like I am being used, whether she likes it or not. I guess it is just hard to see when she is so sweet and caring on the phone and to my face. From the bottom of my heart, I don't think she is doing it on purpose. I have forced her to realize some of it, and it upset her deeply. I give her the benefit of a doubt that she doesn't mean to hurt me, but it still hurts.

I will be damned if I am going to stay around and be plan B. If she wants to talk to me, fine. I may answer, I may not. I am not going to ignore her, that's for sure.

I won't be calling her, IMing her, or texting her. If she calls me, I may answer, or I may not. She needs to start to see that I am not sitting around. I haven't been waiting for her phone call, but I also haven't moved on, and she knows it.

When the weekends come, it will be hardest. I want to talk to her more than anything most of the time, but I can't allow myself to follow her around while she takes her sweet time deciding what she wants. To tell me that she still cares for me, and sometimes sees a future with me, and at the same time to say that I need to remember there is someone else in the picture is playing games... is it not?

Indeed it is! You can't wait on her. Live your own life. You won't always be around for her to fall back on. She needs to realize that and make up her mind.

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Originally Posted by SouthernBelle06

You are not going to get over her as long as you are stuck in hope of a reconciliation and are still talking to her. The fact that she made a point to remind you about the other person says that she knows you want to get back together and this was her way of letting you know that it isn't happening. She was slowing you down and reminding you that you are no longer together. You clearly don't want to get over her and until you reach a point that you are either ready to try to get over her or know that you absolutely must get over her for your own sake, you will continue to torture yourself in trying to be her friend. Everyone would like to be friends after a breakup, it's just simply impossible right away sometimes and that's life.

It sounds like you haven't really accepted her reasons for breaking up and that you are hoping that this other guy will just "go away" as he is moving to go to school. But the trouble here is that the problem likely isn't all about the other guy. If she wants to be single there will likely be some other guy if it isn't the one who is moving.

I just think that you are playing with fire here and are going down a road where you will be hurt. She still kind of "has you" while getting to date other guys. If fact she still has you waiting. She may begin to lose some respect for you. I read in a book somewhere "Hanging around and being available if your ex wants you back does nothing for your self esteem and nothing to make you more attractive in his or her eyes. Neediness is not as appealing as self confidence." Just keep this in mind. Be true to your own needs and be careful here.

If she wants you back she will let you know. I agree with Jiser. This waiting around business is not helping you. If she wants to date other guys, she likely will whether you are being her "friend" or not. I hope you don't have to learn the hard way like I did.

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I agree with you SouthernBelle. You've been pushed over for this other guy. I think you could either: Take back your place by pushing over the other guy, or leave her alone to her manipulative games. Anyway just by going on with your life you will still be more appealing than by waiting for her. But please, do something or move on. You have to ask yourself, Do you want to be second best after that guy goes away, anyway? Note: By answering no you do become BETTER) In time she will realise what she had and what she lost. Little comfort though.

No contact! It is as simple as that! You have no other option if you truly want to feel better.

Well I can only say that if you go here, https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/search...archid=1298646
And reread the good advice you have gotten since Feb, You would have been well on your way to good health by now, but its not to late to do as Skell has said and do the NO CONTACT the right way, and not your way. You have been tip toeing around it, holding out hope, and reacting to her touch, so now forget all of that, and don't call or return calls, disappear from her life and get one that you enjoy without her in it. Leave her alone and let her live her life without you, and the confusion will clear and you will feel so much better.

By only waiting for her, THE FACT IS; IF she ever deceides ''she loves you'' and comes back, it will be for all the wrong reasons.

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Originally Posted by talaniman

Well I can only say that if you go here, https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/search...archid=1298646
And reread the good advice you have gotten since Feb, You would have been well on your way to good health by now, but its not to late to do as Skell has said and do the NO CONTACT the right way, and not your way. You have been tip toeing around it, holding out hope, and reacting to her touch, so now forget all of that, and don't call or return calls, disappear from her life and get one that you enjoy without her in it. Leave her alone and let her live her life without you, and the confusion will clear and you will feel so much better.

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Tal,

I agree with you, and I have always understood yours and skells point, however I have a question that has always been in my way. I understand what NC is for, why it should be used, and how it works... my issue is this:

How am I supposed to implement NC when there is a definite chance that something could come of what we had. Im not saying it would be easy, and it might not even be worth it, but I am certain she still feels for me, and is afraid of me moving on. Implementing NC would be me slamming that door, not only in her face, but in my own as well. I can't deny that I want what I had back, and to remove the only opportunity to get that seems senseless to me.

I understand that I have the issue of being pushed aside, and it would take serious work for me to trust her again, but these things aside... what if I am ruining the only chance that I have left?

Does the use of NC automatically mean I am closing the door on this possibility? Or am I just removing it from my mind, and leaving the actions to her?

No contact gives you a chance to heal and make decisions based on facts and not emotions. To get healthy and see things clearly. To get unstuck from the nonproductive notions, and get your confidence back into your life.

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and leaving the actions to her?

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You are taking back control of your life, and finding your own happiness.

You've been trippin' the last 3 months, and how much progress have you made, honestly?

I know I need to take control of my emotions back.

Over the last three months I think that I have made some progress, though its not as much as it should be. I was hoping that by summer time (one week from now) we could be friends, or possibly more.

I am much more able to deal with the emotions that confront me everyday. I no longer get upset to the point of crying about it, and for the most part, I have accept what has happened.

Still though, I am hesitant to cut all contact if it means closing the door on any chance of reconciliation. I am not naïve enough to say that my situation is so much different than any other, though it seems that in most cases, one party becomes extremely distant and forces the other to move on. To this point, that has not happened, and she has told me her feelings about me.

I made it clear that I cannot hear that, as it holds me back, but that doesn't stop me from knowing that the feelings exist. Maybe there is no answer, but does it really come down to the choice between feeling better and no chance, or a chance and feeling horrible?

What Tal said!

And

If something is going to be (which is highly unlikely anyway), no contact will not prevent it from happening.

What no contact will do is give you both a chance to move forward in positive direction. Assess your lives and where you are at. Reflect on what was wrong before. You will move on. And then if things are meant to be and you somehow come back together the relationship will be much better, because it will involve two healthy and different people to the one that failed last time.

Your hanging onto false hope. It is killing you. You have to start today. No more contact. Nothing. But I am quite sure you won't listen. You just can't accept that it is over and has been for a fair while now!

She has let go. That's why she is comfortable being friends with you. She doesn't really care for you anymore other than as someone who once she did care about. Nothing more.

She doesn't want you back.

She is interested in someone else.

You are in massive massive denial. Until you can accept that it is over you will make as much progress as you have to this point, and that is zero.

Well you're almost there my friend, getting stronger... hold on to these sturdy feelings and follow them strictly... u'll be fine in just 2 weeks... trust me... no one is indispensable... life is moving fast and so should you... see that u don't lag behind and lose some of the beautiful moments that life has to unfold each day... be good to yourself...

I don't think that by not being her "friend" you are closing the door to a reconciliation if one were to happen. That is not what I am saying by "no contact" anyway. Can't you just be honest with her and tell her that a friendship between exes isn't always a good idea? Tell her that it is not always easy for you because you feel more for her than just friendship? Just tell her that it is not a good idea because it is confusing the issue? Can't you say "I would possibly be open to a reconciliation, but a friendship is too hard because I think of you as more than just friends?" Tell her to call you if anything changes and go on with your life. That way she will know to leave you alone unless she wants you back. This will clear the issue for everyone involved. And how is that not being open to a reconciliation on your part? It's just being honest and not playing games. Someone who dumps someone shouldn't be completely shocked if a friendship is difficult on the one who was left anyway. Please!

I am not saying that you should ignore all contact from her after that or if she were to say hello to you in public you should run the other direction or ignore her existence. Why don't you just cool the friendship part for your own sake? Like Skell said it's killing you and sometimes you just have to look out for yourself in life. If you pull back, it may make her rethink taking you for granted if you do think that she has feelings for you. If she is so worried about losing you, let her step up and do something about it and ask for a reconciliation if that is what she wants. I am not saying that if she were to call one day and say "hey, I want to try again" you would be in such "no contact" that you wouldn't even return that call. Do you see what we are saying at all? Just stop making it easier on her than it is on yourself. Nobody respects someone who does that. By cooling the friendship, she may or may not come back (if she was going to anyway... and who knows?) but at least you can start to try to get over it either way and stop this torture.

And if she doesn't ever call after you make your feelings known and just goes out with some other guy instead? Well, there's your answer and you will know how she truly feels about you by her actions. You did all you could. Just my opinion...

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Originally Posted by Skell

She has let go. Thats why she is comfortable being friends with you. She doesnt really care for you anymore other than as someone who once she did care about. Nothing more.

She doesnt want you back.

She is interested in someone else.

You are in massive massive denial. Until you can accept that it is over you will make as much progress as you have to this point, and that is zero.

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Skell,

I appreciate the help, just as I did in the beginning when you gave me tons of advice. What it boils down to is this: For some damn reason, I am still afraid to "hurt her feelings". Why? I don't know, she hasn't seemed to care much for what I think.

The part that was hard for me was the amount of leading on that she did to me I suppose. Its hard for me to think that she doesn't want me back when she tells me how she sees a future with me and all of this other bull@#%$.

I wouldn't say that I am in denial. Trust me, I am well aware that the relationship is over. The problem is, I am also aware that feelings exist on both sides. If anything, I have been going back and forth - I would let go of the thought of reconciliation for a week or two, then it would come back. It's a horrible push and shove in my head.

No disrespect to you, but I also disagree that I have made 0 progress. I understand that I am not nearly as healthy as I should be, but I have made progress. To be completely honest with you, up until now, I have been afraid to get angry. I felt it was immature of me to be angry that she broke up with me. I thought it was wrong to feel betrayed that I was pushed aside for something "that might be better".

Maybe I'm wrong now, but I'm pretty angry. I have no intentions of trying to make this easier on her anymore. I have spent the last months trying to heal myself, and not let her know that I am in pain. Maybe she doesn't know how much she hurt me, or maybe she doesn't care. At this point, it really doesn't matter.

Its her loss either way, and I refuse to try to save her from hurting herself. She made her bed...

Thanks again, and sorry for being so stubborn. I suppose I fell into the trap of being naïve about the situation and thinking something was different. Maybe I fooled myself into thinking that I am stronger than I really am? I thought I could handle it, but I understand there is nothing more detrimental to myself than to keep myself in this cycle.

She made her choice, let her live with the consequences.

Again, I want to apologize to everyone for being such a stubborn SOB. It hurts to think that there is no future at all, even as friends, between us - but that's the way I must think. It may happen, it may not... but for the time being, I need to be happy again.

I refuse to let this drag on throughout my summer break.

Thanks, and sorry again:o

Your not being stubborn, maybe a little blind but I can see you are a good guy and that's why we just want you to do what is best for you and so far it is hard to say that that is what you have done.

You probably have made progress, maybe I was a little over the top with saying you have made none, but you have made it the hard way. No one is saying it should be easy. It isn't. It is real hard and I can vouch for that. But you haven't helped yourself.

I think you know what the best thing to do now is. It won't be easy but it I almost guarantee you will be glad you finally do what is best for you.

You don't want this to ruin your holiday do you! I am for one gutted I was dumped, especially for this summer when my best mate is going away - I won't see him for 5 months. But hey we live and learn and we have to make the best out of what we have. Ive booked lots of holidays, gigs, festivals and planned lots to do this summer when I finish my placement year (Working) so I keep myself busy!! That is so important. DO not mope about.

She doesn't care about you right now, if she did, she would be contacting you. You don't need her. Be strong,

As they say, her interest level has in you dropped in quite significantly my friend... You're a tool to her. I don't know how else to say it.

Move on. You don't need to talk to her. She won't be that sad when you move on... She'll probably be relieved. Why don't you mention that all this is hurting you and that you need to go one way or the other to move on? You won't like the answer I think... That's why it's better to take initiative and stop returning her calls. Tell her once, to be clear, but I really think you're just setting yourself up for a fall doing anything otherwise.

I agree with LBP. As I mentioned on my other post I think that he needs to tell her that he still cares for her as more than friends and that keeping in touch as friends only is too difficult for him. Then he needs to try to move on. I don't think that he should play games and just start ignoring her without explanation though. He will feel too guilty for that because he said he feels like he is "hurting her". But what about himself getting hurt by sticking around in a degrading situation? He needs to think about that too. If she wants to be with him again and to reconcile, she will let him know. He doesn't trust that fact and he needs to.

But at the same time, he shouldn't count on the ex coming back no matter how badly he may want her to. The sad truth is that most of us on here wanted our exes back too (myself included) but we finally had to accept the fact that it was over, realize that there is little to nothing we can do about it, go through the inevitable grieving we tried to avoid, and try to move on.

I honestly think a fast clean getaway is in order, because if you have followed this poster there is no way she doesn't know exactly how he feels, and what he wants, yet instead of closure he has been led along for the past few months. Enough is enough, and I think complete no contact is in order starting now. Say hi in public, but otherwise unavailable completely, why spare her an explanation she doesn't need? Time to heal and move on. Anything else is an excuse to keep the door open, and in truth its been closed and locked for months.

Thanks for all the input guys, I guess where a lot of my confusion (perhaps denial) comes from is that I cannot understand her motives.

I know I have not been following NC, but this is what I have done... I have not contacted her in the last month and a half. Any conversation we have had, was purely her initiation. What confuses me so much is that it is quite often said..."If she has any reason to talk to you, she will let you know". Well she has been calling me, and I haven't been ignoring her, just trying to keep any emotional connection out of the conversation.

Can anyone explain why she would be doing this? I am quite certain she isn't stringing me along on purpose, as I said, she still cares for me, and I know she isn't intentionally hurting me. What seems rational to me is that maybe she is more ready to be friends with me than I am with her? Is it possible she just doesn't realize that she is much more emotionally healed than I?

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Originally Posted by Skell

I think you know what the best thing to do now is. It wont be easy but it i almost guarantee you will be glad you finally do what is best for you.

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Originally Posted by SouthernBelle06

If she wants to be with him again and to reconcile, she will let him know. He doesn't trust that fact and he needs to.

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Two things that were said caught my eye...

Skell said that I know what the best thing to do is, and I think your right. Its becoming more and more apparent that I can't continue to let myself be hurt to spare her feelings. SouthernBelle also said that I don't trust in the fact, and I need to. I have started to raelize that what I do, has no bearing on whether she will come back or not. If she wants to, she will try, no matter where in life I am.

What I did realize, however, is the reason I have yet to make the commitment to move on. I honestly believe that it is a lack of trust in myself, and maybe a lack of self-esteem, that is keeping me from moving forward. I feel like I cannot do it, and if I try, I will just lose what I have - which in reality is nothing much at all. The worst part is, by staying here, I am hurting my self-esteem and self-confidence even more. It's a vicious cycle.

The more I think about it, the more I realize that her decision has been quite clear, and I have been making excuses for her.

Common join the club! The road to healing, jump on the band wagon and lets gogo!

Thanks all for the great advice...

Its going to be tough, because we will both be back home for good during the summer, and I can guarantee she will want to spend time with me. I figure, the sooner I can start this and get it over with, the sooner I can be happy again and not care what's going on with her.

I just hope that I can be committed enough to myself to say no if she says she has realized it was a mistake.

Fool me once but not fool me twice! By the summer you need to be in a healthy fun life. Do what you need to do to get there, and enhance your life with some amazing experiances, never let an oppurinity down - that is apart from said ex!

I am looking forward to summer. I think it will be a great time for me to keep busy and move on. Its much harder for me to be busy at school, as this school is terrible on the social/fun level.

Ill finally have a full time internship for work, hanging out with my friends on the weekends, and probably spend some of the money I'm making on myself :)

At the same time, I can't deny that I'm a bit sad about not spending time with her this summer. Even after the breakup, she had made plans and asked me to do things with her this summer, and perhaps I still will be able to. Only time will tell now, and I must wait to see how healed I have become by then.

Yeh I wish I was with my ex for the summer, but its not going to happen so Ive made lots of plans and so should you!

Sometimes when we are so focused on something, we miss other things that we should be paying attention to. When we can finally see the things we missed, we can feel pretty bad we didn't pay attention in the first place. Good luck with no contact the right way, and keep us posted.

Thanks again Tal and Jiser and everyone else...

I'll dfinately keep you posted as time goes by.

Its pretty sick how I am so worried about her getting upset, but at the same time when she shows no signs of being upset at all - I feel let down.

While I was worried that she would be upset by contact ceasing between us, I find myself wondering if she doesn't get upset if she really cared at all...

Sometimes its funny how self-destructive the mind is

Honestly, my friend, like I said before... in all likelihood she just doesn't care at all. Sorry. That's the way life is sometimes, especially when it comes to young women. You'll get used to it.

Last time I ever talked to my ex was directly before I burned the phone card I used to call her and her phone number... I thought I'd give it one last right, just for the sake of it. I told her, "Have a nice life." Her response? "What do you expect me to say?" I told her, you don't have to say anything... Then she told me to stop obsessing and mentioned how it "wasn't very cool" of me to use an internet website to work through my problems.

It's funny how you come to realize that things tend to happen for a reason.

Hi all,

I'm back, but I don't really need advice right now, just wanted to keep my thoughts together, so I figured that I'd write them down here..

I've started to realize why I am still sad. Its not so much that I miss her or want her back anymore... No, I think I'm over that for the most part. The part that still makes me sad is that it seems that she threw away what she had for something that isn't going to happen. I'm starting to see her as someone who is totally stuck on someone else, waiting around to see what happens with him in order to go on with her life.

That makes me sad, because its just sad to see that kind of a decline in a person that I knew to be much stronger. Im also sad because it seems she changed, and honestly I don't know if I'd want who she's become. She isn't the same person I dated 3 months ago. Its sad to think about, but I'm not feeling sorry for me, I'm feeling sorry for her.

I FINALLY understand what you guys always meant by "seeing things more clearly and for what they really are". Maybe it didn't as much as I thought, just the conversation with her that sparked the 'anger' and the reflection I've been doing.