I want to know can I get restraining order or Peace bond for this. So I am in love with this girl from last 1 yr. We went out for like 4-5 months. I did everything for her a true lover can do. I even helped her with her finance's when she was in real trouble. I lent her $1000's.(but I don't have any proofs for that cause I paid it in cash). So after going out with 4-5 months she cheated on me and had a new boyfriend. But she continuously chatting with me. I was thinking she will come back. But she shut me off. Which made me extremely frustrated and on the top all she refused to pay me back anything. I texted this BF about this and he defended her. I also sent flowers, chocolates, even diamond jewellery to her house where she lives with his BF.

But then she had a serious fight with her BF (NOT BECAUSE OF ME) and he left her. And then it begins again but in the other way. She started texting me and she texted me for like 4 months. Until I again start talking to her. I had strong feelings for her and they came back once we start talking. But when I finally got ready to hangout with her again. But than she suddenly stopped talking to me again and start giving me other reasons for not talking. But eventually she told me she is back with this BF again and should not interfere in her life. But I want to talk to his boyfriend again about all this. Can she do anything legal if I tell her boyfriend about all this. I again feel really emotionally fooled by her and really frustrated about this.

Update: NOTE. - I never used any abusive words, threatened her about anything. I just send her emotional messages that I love her. I never lived with her. I just told her I will talk this BF about this. She threatened me to ruin my life if I do that. I sometime also visit his fast food chain where she works to eat. I do nothing else.

You are pretty creepy, aren't you? Leave her and her boyfriend alone and move on with your life.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by J_9

You are pretty creepy, aren't you? Leave her and her boyfriend alone and move on with your life.

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But than why she is playing with my heart. She has played with my emotional twice.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by J_9

You are pretty creepy, aren't you? Leave her and her boyfriend alone and move on with your life.

---

She even not giving me back my stuff my money, dimond bracelet that I gave her

Cut your losses. Neither the money or bracelet was a loan.

Block her and go No Contact. Don't be a creeper unless you want to see her boyfriend's fist up close.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by J_9

Cut your losses. Neither the money or bracelet was a loan.

Block her and go No Contact. Don't be a creeper unless you want to see her boyfriend's fist up close.

---

He cant even touch me, I taught him a good lesson once when he was trying to bully me. I am not creepy, I am just a bit emotional. She was texting me for last 4 months and than suddenly turned a total to me like I am nobody. Its really hurt full and hard to forgive. When u get treated like this. I really don't know what to do. But can u please tell if I just talk her BF can she take any legal action against me.

Stop being a creeper and leave them both alone.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by J_9

Stop being a creeper and leave them both alone.

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Well I am really hurt, cant even sleep and crying for like last 4 days and 100s of messages have been exchanged by the way her and me since than. But we were only fighting and blaming each other and now she won't even reply me anything. I guess I am going to a depression. I never deserved to be treated like this for loving her so much. She turned completely stranger.

I understand you are hurt, but meddling in their relationship isn't the answer.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by J_9

I understand you are hurt, but meddling in their relationship isn't the answer.

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But my fool heart still wants her back and I am hoping she will understand my feeling and sooner or later she will be back. But I don't want to like this. I hv just stopped enjoying the life.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by harry7171

I want to know can I get restraining order or Peace bond for this. So I am in love with this girl from last 1 yr. We went out for like 4-5 months. I did everything for her a true lover can do. I even helped her with her finance's when she was in real trouble. I lent her $1000's.(bt I don't hv any proofs for that cause I paid it in cash). So after going out with 4-5 months she cheated on me and had a new boyfriend. But she continuously chatting with me. I was thinking she will come back. But she shut me off. Which made me extremely frusted and on the top all she refused to pay me back anything. I texted his BF about this and he defended her. I also sent flowers, choclates, even diamond jewellery to her house where she lives with his BF.

But than she had a serious fight with her BF (NOT BECAUSE OF ME) and he left her. And than it begins again but in the other way. She started texting me and she texted me for like 4 months. Until I again start talking to her. I had strong feelings for her and they came back once we start talking. But when I finally got ready to hangout with her again. But than she suddenly stopped talking to me again and start giving me other reasons for not talking. But eventually she told me she is back with is BF again and should not interfere in her life. But I want to talk to his boyfriend again about all this. Can she do anything legal if I tell her boyfriend about all this. I again feel really emotionally fooled by her and really frustated about this.
Update: NOTE. - I never used any abusive words, threatened her about anything. I just send her emotional messages that I love her. I never lived with her. I just told her I will talk his BF about this. She threatened me to ruin my life if I do that. I sometime also visit his fast food chain where she works to eat. I do nothing else.

---

Hi!

She's a huge Drama Llama! Stay away from her, seriously. Cut all contact, harden your heart, and move along. You're currently throwing good money, in both a real and emotional sense, after bad money with her.

You've spent several thousands of dollars with her, and it looks like you're trying to buy her affections. She's with someone else right now. Just move along, this woman has drama written all over her.

Isn't saying that you are going to talk to her boyfriend a threat? What are you going to tell him? That while they were not a couple she tried contacting you? That she broke off contact (or tried to) with you when she got back with him? That she kept gifts that you freely gave her?

You go to his restaurant, why? To watch her and him because they both work there? There are other places to eat. Eating there is only making you feel worse.

You were with her for about five months and invested more money and items into it than you should have. Frankly, it sounds like you attempted to buy her affection and it didn't work. I am not certain the relationship was as committed as you wanted it to be.

I don't know if she used you or not. I don't know her side of the story and you cannot tell me her side. What you would say would be biased by your own interpretation.

Now, she wants you out of her life and relationship and you have to abide by that decision. Telling her boyfriend anything for any reason, just makes you look like a jealous and vindictive person.

Let her go. Let the pain and the hurt go. Stop feeding the thought of being a victim and wanting her to pay for the mistakes you made in investing way too much way too soon in that relationship. Learn from the lesson. Be more careful in the future.

Get in touch with friends and family, go out and meet new people. Make new memories. Get involved in your own life instead of trying to stay in hers. Stop chaining yourself to the past. I know it isn't easy, but the future hold so much hope for new beginnings if you give it and yourself a chance.

First thing to do, delete all contact information for her. Block her number or send messages to a file that you can delete without reading or listening to. Then get some friends/family together and go out for some fun and entertainment. Allow yourself to laugh.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by harry7171

But my fool heart still wants her back and I am hoping she will understand my feeling and sooner or later she will be back. But I don't want to like this. I hv just stopped enjoying the life.

---

Okay. Tough love. Quit whining. I know how you feel, I have been there, but nothing good can come of this. Distract yourself, pick up a new hobby, pick up some pron and have a good wank, call your friends and have a good bender at the local dive, get out of the house and meet new people. Your heart is dumb, most of them are, they don't see the rational side because they don't want to. They don't see what is really going on because they want to feel the passion. You need to distance yourself from this emotionally and physically. Until you do that you're like an addict that can't get away from the heroin.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by CravenMorhead

Hi!

She's a huge Drama Llama! Stay away from her, seriously. Cut all contact, harden your heart, and move along. You're currently throwing good money, in both a real and emotional sense, after bad money with her.

You've spent several thousands of dollars with her, and it looks like you're trying to buy her affections. She's with someone else right now. Just move along, this woman has drama written all over her.

---

This is so true that girl is a drama, whenever she is in trouble I am the first one she comes for help, she takes advantage of my feelings for her. But I loved her, even when I date other girls I cant forget her. I really don't know how should I overcome this. I am not even talking to other girls who texts me. But I really want to get over this thing but I really don't know how.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by harry7171

This is so true that girl is a drama, whenever she is in trouble I am the first one she comes for help, she takes advantage of my feelings for her. But I loved her, even when I date other girls I cant forget her. I really don't know how should I overcome this. I am not even talking to other girls who texts me. But I really want to get over this thing but I really don't know how.

---

Time. Honestly, this is still burning brightly in you and every time you two connect it burns hotter. Give it time and it will pass.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Cat1864

Isn't saying that you are going to talk to her boyfriend a threat? What are you going to tell him? That while they were not a couple she tried contacting you? That she broke off contact (or tried to) with you when she got back with him? That she kept gifts that you freely gave her?

You go to his restaurant, why? To watch her and him because they both work there? There are other places to eat. Eating there is only making you feel worse.

You were with her for about five months and invested more money and items into it than you should have. Frankly, it sounds like you attempted to buy her affection and it didn't work. I am not certain the relationship was as committed as you wanted it to be.

I don't know if she used you or not. I don't know her side of the story and you cannot tell me her side. What you would say would be biased by your own interpretation.

Now, she wants you out of her life and relationship and you have to abide by that decision. Telling her boyfriend anything for any reason, just makes you look like a jealous and vindictive person.

Let her go. Let the pain and the hurt go. Stop feeding the thought of being a victim and wanting her to pay for the mistakes you made in investing way too much way too soon in that relationship. Learn from the lesson. Be more careful in the future.

Get in touch with friends and family, go out and meet new people. Make new memories. Get involved in your own life instead of trying to stay in hers. Stop chaining yourself to the past. I know it isn't easy, but the future hold so much hope for new beginnings if you give it and yourself a chance.

First thing to do, delete all contact information for her. Block her number or send messages to a file that you can delete without reading or listening to. Then get some friends/family together and go out for some fun and entertainment. Allow yourself to laugh.

---

When Ever I try to block her on Facebook I think what if she would like to come back to me how will she contact me. I remember her cell no. so I can delete to from my cell but not from my mind. I was almost over her before she start texting me again. Now it has got even worse.

And it is partially true I was trying to buy her affection for me from all this money and gifts.But I could not leave her struggling. I used to feel pain when she get hurt and I told her it is an unconditional help. I don't want her to do anything for me and Don't want to like me for money I just want her to like for me. . I thought she will realise my trueness.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by harry7171

When Ever I try to block her on Facebook I think what if she would like to come back to me how will she contact me. I remember her cell no. so I can delete to from my cell but not from my mind. I was almost over her before she start texting me again. Now it has got even worse.

And it is partially true I was trying to buy her affection for me from all this money and gifts.But I could not leave her struggling. I used to feel pain when she get hurt and I told her it is an unconditional help. I don't want her to do anything for me and Don't want to like me for money I just want her to like for me. . I thought she will realise my trueness.

---

harry, you need to make the decision that you don't want her back. Some part of you will always care about her. Emotions fade but the traces will still be there. It is part of being capable of loving others. It is part of what makes our ability to care grow. However, caring about someone doesn't mean they are will make a good partner for you.

I want you to think about something. Do you care for her as an equal or because you could be her 'knight in shining armor' when she was a 'damsel in distress'? Did helping her make you feel good and feed your ego? It may be difficult because there will be part of you that may be screaming it is love, but a more rational part may be seeing the relationship in a different light.

I think you have a large heart that is looking for something to take care of. So, I am going to suggest that you get involved in volunteering. Helping those who need your help but where there is not thought of romantic entanglement.

On the romance side, give your attention and energy (not money or gifts-save those for people you know care about you such as long term friends and family) to those who are looking for an equal partner. Stay away from those looking for a rescuer or parental figure. In a healthy relationship there will be give and take in all things, but those who are looking to be taken care of from the very start are not the ones who will work with you. They are the ones who will take from you.

Don't rush into another relationship. Have fun going out with no strings attached and getting to know other females. Work on creating a foundation of friendship. If there is a spark of attraction, the see where it goes. The worst that will happen is you will make new friends/acquaintances and learn more about what you want and don't want in a relationship.

Thanks for your suggestions, I already blocked her on Facebook and with time I will forget her no. too. I am really trying to move on now.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Cat1864

harry, you need to make the decision that you don't want her back. Some part of you will always care about her. Emotions fade but the traces will still be there. It is part of being capable of loving others. It is part of what makes our ability to care grow. However, caring about someone doesn't mean they are will make a good partner for you.

I want you to think about something. Do you care for her as an equal or because you could be her 'knight in shining armor' when she was a 'damsel in distress'? Did helping her make you feel good and feed your ego? It may be difficult because there will be part of you that may be screaming it is love, but a more rational part may be seeing the relationship in a different light.

I think you have a large heart that is looking for something to take care of. So, I am going to suggest that you get involved in volunteering. Helping those who need your help but where there is not thought of romantic entanglement.

On the romance side, give your attention and energy (not money or gifts-save those for people you know care about you such as long term friends and family) to those who are looking for an equal partner. Stay away from those looking for a rescuer or parental figure. In a healthy relationship there will be give and take in all things, but those who are looking to be taken care of from the very start are not the ones who will work with you. They are the ones who will take from you.

Don't rush into another relationship. Have fun going out with no strings attached and getting to know other females. Work on creating a foundation of friendship. If there is a spark of attraction, the see where it goes. The worst that will happen is you will make new friends/acquaintances and learn more about what you want and don't want in a relationship.

---

Thanks for your suggestions, I already blocked her on Facebook and with time I will forget her no. too. I am really trying to move on now.

Glad you FINALLY get you need to leave her and her boyfriend alone and break all contact with them. Just because you gave your heart foolishly to an undeserving USER, doesn't mean you have to keep doing it.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by J_9

You are pretty creepy, aren't you? Leave her and her boyfriend alone and move on with your life.

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@Jay... Would you say that to yourself? Pretty Creepy? I have seen a Old, Used, Trash woman.. just to seek visa for her two adult son in america.. she ruined my best friend marriage and life. It is easy to speak when it does not favor you. I just think you must know this poster in real life. Do you really?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Misshome

@Jay... Would you say that to yourself? Pretty Creepy? I have seen a Old, Used, Trash woman.. just to seek visa for her two adult son in america.. she ruined my best friend marriage and life. It is easy to speak when it does not favor you. I just think you must know this poster in real life. Do you really?

---

I have no idea who this poster is in real life, but his actions, as posted here, are creepy.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by harry7171

He cant even touch me, I taught him a good lesson once when he was trying to bully me. I am not creepy, I am just a bit emotional. She was texting me for last 4 months and than suddenly turned a total to me like I am nobody. Its really hurt full and hard to forgive. When u get treated like this. I really don't know what to do. But can u please tell if I just talk her BF can she take any legal action against me.

---

No. If she is around and ask you not to contact her. But If you speak to him in private than no. She can't.

Yes she can, if you continue to try and be involved in her life, including talking about her to her close friends, you would and "SHOULD" get a restraining order against you.

You need to do nothing, delete or block her phone number, and that of her close friend, do not go where they work, delete them from Facebook. And go on with a real life.

You are obsessed, and you are crossing the lines of proper behavior.

You know just by you asking the question it shows some level of understanding that your behavior is creepy and approaching stalking. Time to move your life forward and develop some self-respect for you. Chasing after a girl who doesn’t want you is just time wasted.

It is up to you, to end the relationship once and for all, and leave her alone. It matters not if she is involved with someone else, although that person should not be used to exact revenge, which is what you are doing.

Further, you wanting money back, for gifts you gave freely while you were involved with this woman, is also vengeful. Gifts of money or anything else during a relationship, are gifts, not loans. When you are hurt and pissed about her dumping you does not give you the (legal) right to demand the money/gifts back. Unless you had some sort of written contract, signed, that said what you gave were loans. In that case, you would still not keep harassing her, you would/should go to court to get your money back.

Talking to her boyfriend about what exactly? You have no reason to talk to him, anymore than he has reason to talk to you. He has done nothing to you, and him being now involved with your ex, is no reason to meet with him to talk about your ex. Leave him alone. If you do approach him with the garbage you have spewed here about revenge, he would have every reason to get a restraining order against you.

The problem lies only with you. Not her, not her boyfriend. That you feel you are owed something because you spent so lavishly (by choice), and she hurt you so badly (without a reason in your book), is very troubling. And the anger you express through your post needs to be dealt with.

I suspect this was the first serious relationship you've had. I suggest that you seek help in dealing with the loss of this relationship. Speak to someone- maybe a university center that offers counseling for free- and learn to express yourself to a person who can give you concrete help in overcoming, peacefully, your inability to accept the relationship is over.

You can see that most people here, replying to your post, including me, find your behavior creepy. It is creepy because you choose to make it creepy. And it is creepy because you are formulating plans to disrupt your ex's live, and the life of her now boyfriend. Even if you were to succeed in breaking them up, you are only giving her more reason to also find you too creepy to even consider dating again. Why? Because she, and us, can clearly see how you handle your emotions.

Please seek help. Understanding how your behavior affects others, no matter who they are, will give you knowledge and understanding and insight into your own behavior. Then the next time around when you are involved in a relationship that ends, you will be better able to manage yourself, and not come off as some spurned lover intent on destruction.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by J_9

I have no idea who this poster is in real life, but his actions, as posted here, are creepy.

---

On the top of everything I got into a big car accident. Barely survived. My car is completely ridden off. One of my front tire broke down on highway and I my car slide under the transport truck trailer and police going to charge me for this for losing control over my car. How lucky am I. This car was the only good thing going on for me in my life and even that has gone now...

We all have had a run of bad luck every now and then and we push through those times and events, and emerge wiser, and stronger. Some things we cannot control, but we can control how we act, and react to them.

You will get through your challenging times too, when you control your own impulses to behave badly that puts you in those creepy positions. It's an expensive learning experience so pay attention.

Now you just have to appear in court and prove this was a mechanical failure that caused your accident, and not reckless behavior. No insurance?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by talaniman

We all have had a run of bad luck every now and then and we push through those times and events, and emerge wiser, and stronger. Some things we cannot control, but we can control how we act, and react to them.

You will get through your challenging times too, when you control your own impulses to behave badly that puts you in those creepy positions. It's an expensive learning experience so pay attention.

Now you just have to appear in court and prove this was a mechanical failure that caused your accident, and not reckless behavior. No insurance?

---

I have a full coverage so all kinds of damages are cover. But I don't think so I can afford a car in the future my monthly insurance will go up to $600. And this bad luck is going for couple of years now. Everything has messed in my life now. No reason live now. I was struggling all my life and I used to fight off everything bt now I am losing patience and really frustrated from my life. I am tired of waiting for my time.

No doubt being played for a fool goes into this feeling but you will recover if you don't give into your impulses and take responsibility for YOUR actions which no doubt played greatly into this "bad luck".

You can't go back so move forward and do better by WORKING your way through your challenges, using your experiences to chart a better path for yourself.

Stay off the pity pot as whining about the past just keeps you stuck on the bad luck.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by harry7171

On the top of everything I got into a big car accident. Barely survived.

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Barely survived huh? Your original post was on July 22. This is July 25. If you barely survived you wouldn't be any condition to be posting. You can't pull the wool over my eyes, I work in the medical field. I KNOW what "barely survived" means, and approximately how long it takes to recover.

Its obvious you are a drama queen/king. Get off the pity pot. No one likes a drama queen.

As was mentioned... I've been in several moderately bad accidents where my life was in no danger from my injuries... and from pain alone I would not have been posting as quickly as you did after.

That's life... bad things WILL happen from time to time... you suck it up, act like an adult and move on. If you expect pity from the world every time something happens... you are in for a rude awakening. You will be lucky your best friends give more than a passing acknowledgment of it. Because they have all been there too and know that's how you do things.

If you don't you will find your friends will start distancing themselves from you.

What's that old saying? "Life sucks, then you die"... or the other one. "Sh*t happens"? Welcome to the real world. Bad things happen... but life always moves on. Wallow in self pity and you get left behind, and it will be your own fault when that happens.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Jake2008

It is up to you, to end the relationship once and for all, and leave her alone. It matters not if she is involved with someone else, although that person should not be used to exact revenge, which is what you are doing.<br>
<br>
Further, you wanting money back, for gifts you gave freely while you were involved with this woman, is also vengeful. Gifts of money or anything else during a relationship, are gifts, not loans. When you are hurt and pissed about her dumping you does not give you the (legal) right to demand the money/gifts back. Unless you had some sort of written contract, signed, that said what you gave were loans. In that case, you would still not keep harassing her, you would/should go to court to get your money back.<br>
<br>
Talking to her boyfriend about what exactly? You have no reason to talk to him, anymore than he has reason to talk to you. He has done nothing to you, and him being now involved with your ex, is no reason to meet with him to talk about your ex. Leave him alone. If you do approach him with the garbage you have spewed here about revenge, he would have every reason to get a restraining order against you.<br>
<br>
The problem lies only with you. Not her, not her boyfriend. That you feel you are owed something because you spent so lavishly (by choice), and she hurt you so badly (without a reason in your book), is very troubling. And the anger you express through your post needs to be dealt with.<br>
<br>
I suspect this was the first serious relationship you've had. I suggest that you seek help in dealing with the loss of this relationship. Speak to someone- maybe a university center that offers counseling for free- and learn to express yourself to a person who can give you concrete help in overcoming, peacefully, your inability to accept the relationship is over.<br>
<br>
You can see that most people here, replying to your post, including me, find your behavior creepy. It is creepy because you choose to make it creepy. And it is creepy because you are formulating plans to disrupt your ex's live, and the life of her now boyfriend. Even if you were to succeed in breaking them up, you are only giving her more reason to also find you too creepy to even consider dating again. Why? Because she, and us, can clearly see how you handle your emotions.<br>
<br>
Please seek help. Understanding how your behavior affects others, no matter who they are, will give you knowledge and understanding and insight into your own behavior. Then the next time around when you are involved in a relationship that ends, you will be better able to manage yourself, and not come off as some spurned lover intent on destruction.

---

<br>
<br><br>

First of all, my love and feelings for her are true which is rare to find these days. This is why most of the people does not understand my actions &nbsp;I went through so much pain just to make her life better and I am not that type of guy who will whine about the money all the time. I just don't care about the money. The only thing that hurts me, I wasted all my time for a wrong person. If she would have told me this from the beginning I would have never invested myself in her. When it was quiet obvious from the beginning how much I loved her . She just got really rude to me. At first she did not even told me she is with someone else now and just started lying to me to not to talk with me. If she would have honest enough to tell me about everything I never would have been broken like this. Like other people I cant play and understand mind games and I hate when people lie about things.

You may not whine about the money but you whine about everything else in life. Seriously dude man up and realize your life is what you make it. If you wallow in self-pity all the time then your life will be a depressed mess. So you had a relationship that didn't work out. So what? Who hasn't? Tomorrow's another day so make it a great day.

You date people to see if you are compatible to that person. Although you may have felt a connection to that woman, she didn't and she decided to move on. It happens to us all. There are no rules about dating which state because I dated you, you must now stay with me. A person can walk away at any time and honestly if you were not right for her it was a good decision on her part.

If the way you write is the way you come across in person with your personality and actions, I can see a lot of women deciding you won't be right for them. People like to be around positive people.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Oliver2011

You may not whine about the money but you whine about everything else in life. Seriously dude man up and realize your life is what you make it. If you wallow in self-pity all the time then your life will be a depressed mess. So you had a relationship that didn’t work out. So what? Who hasn’t? Tomorrow’s another day so make it a great day.

You date people to see if you are compatible to that person. Although you may have felt a connection to that woman, she didn’t and she decided to move on. It happens to us all. There are no rules about dating which state because I dated you, you must now stay with me. A person can walk away at any time and honestly if you were not right for her it was a good decision on her part.

If the way you write is the way you come across in person with your personality and actions, I can see a lot of women deciding you won’t be right for them. People like to be around positive people.

---

I am a positive person, who always motivates other, No one have never said to me negative, every time she is in trouble she remembers that I also exist, why don't she go to his so called boyfriend than. I motivated her even when she was really screwed and depressed about her life. All I know I never deserved this at all. I went through horrific car crash, my car slide under the truck trailer at the speed of 100 and I feel lucky to be alive with no injuries. I am ready to fight off anything in my life I just don't care, but the only pain in my life is she is not with me.

Oy vey. It's over. It's time to move on. The sooner you realize that and move on the better off you will be. Why people including you allow other people to have control over them I will never understand. I decide whether I am going to be happy in life and given the choice of being happy or wallowing in depression every minute of every day I am choosing to be happy every day. It's a concept that will be way too difficult for you to learn because you allow others to control your happiness. If my partner of 5 years decided one day to just walk away, I know I would makei t just fine and I know I would be okay. That is the only way to live and until you learn that, well, it's probably going to be sad times for you and that's unfortunate.

Jury is out on whether you are a positive person my friend. Being a positive person isn't just being positive when things are going well. The tough time is being positive when things aren't going so well, and you aren't positive.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Oliver2011

Oy vey. It’s over. It’s time to move on. The sooner you realize that and move on the better off you will be. Why people including you allow other people to have control over them I will never understand. I decide whether I am going to be happy in life and given the choice of being happy or wallowing in depression every minute of every day I am choosing to be happy every day. It’s a concept that will be way too difficult for you to learn because you allow others to control your happiness. If my partner of 5 years decided one day to just walk away, I know I would makei t just fine and I know I would be okay. That is the only way to live and until you learn that, well, it’s probably going to be sad times for you and that’s unfortunate.

Jury is out on whether you are a positive person my friend. Being a positive person isn’t just being positive when things are going well. The tough time is being positive when things aren’t going so well, and you aren’t positive.

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I am not that negative as it sounds here, I already said I was struggling all my life and been through very bad times before but I was always positive to fight everything. But now water is flowing over my head, why I am the one who always loose and I am not happy like others people. I simple, honest, easy going and never try to hurt others. I feel happy when I do something for others even when it's a stranger.

Life is what you make it. You are making yours now. If something isn't working try a new path. A new approach.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Oliver2011

Life is what you make it. You are making yours now. If something isn't working try a new path. A new approach.

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Thanks for your motivation, I am ready to rebuild my life with new attitude but now I have done one more stupid thing, I went to a club picked up easy stranger and had sex with her but it was protected but still I am really worried about it in case she gave me any STD that girl was really unhygienic. I am just waiting for next 21 days to pass if she would have given me anytype of viral infection. I am really scared now. Cant live my life the way I want to, Until I know I hve nothing.

After All this I just don't want any STD, I am such a stupid person to do so. When I already know I am going through such a bad time.

Hey, analogies suck so I will try to be kind with this one.

You are a dependent. You need to have someone to latch on to to emotionally survive. You CAN'T be single. You're like a leech. Without someone to feed off, emotionally, you wither. You invest a LOT emotionally and very quickly and it REALLY pains you to let it go. It is like hoarding emotional baggage at this point. You see the shows on TV where people have collected a metric (not imperial) BUTTLOAD of crap because they'll need it one day. They saw this cool Pintrest that uses old cat food containers to make wind chimes so they've hoard a bunch of them to do this because it was cool. Mindless of the fact that they just spend the day not making catfood tin wind chimes. People hoard emotional baggage like that as well. They do this because it makes it seem that they're important to that one person. That makes them feel like they're important and that they matter. If they discard that and move on then they're not as important and they exist in the world a little less. If they're not close to anyone who would notice if they died?

You're dealing with this quite poorly. You're not confident enough to just be you. You need to be defined as part of a couple, as someone in a relationship; even if that relationship is purely in your mind. Like the one you're having with this woman. What you need to do is figure out your own self worth. Your position in life and in the world. This isn't an easy journey, hell I haven't made it far along the path myself, but you need to start this journey. You need to be single. Not get into an relationship, for casual sex or otherwise. You need to find you.

If don't know who you are and can't find yourself, how can anyone else know you?

Just to add to the above, pay attention to the poor impulsive emotional decisions you have made and how they bite you in the butt. >OUCH< THINK more before you ACT, and you may save your BUTT some painful bruises in the future.

I think you need some time to HEAL, AND think without feeling sorry for yourself... stay off the pity pot!