Ask Me Help Desk - My girlfriend doesn't know if she wants to be with me?

My girlfriend doesn't know if she wants to be with me?

We have been together for a month. I was going out with her 4 times the week and the 3 weeks she looked very happy. But... at 4 week she wasn't herself I tried to make her laugh but she wasn't happy at all. The last time I date with her ( 1 week ago ) we walked talked and I asked her if she likes me. She said 'yes''. I asked her if she loves me. She said '' I don't know'' and the I asked her if she still wants to be with me. And she said again '' I don't know''. What does that nean? I tried a complimet but she said she doen't like being complimeted so I stopped. And now it's been 1 week and I haven't talk to her I haven't even she her. My friends said shh doesn't want me anymore but she can't say it because she afraid to break my feelings. I think I should ask if she can tell me but... I really love her and I don't want to lose her. I am afraid that if I as her she will go away. So I didn't ask her anything. What should I do? I can't stop crying!

She may be scared off by your intensity, your strong feelings. It has only been a month and you are asking about love and are being somewhat pushy about how she feels about you.

My advice is No Contact, and move forward without her.

But she is not happy with me anymore and I just want her to be happy. I don't want to be a burden or a problem for her.. but that's exacly what I afraid of. I am just crying every night and can't sleep 2 days I can't keep going like this. And the last thing I want is to lose her. I can't move forward I am not going well at school I am not hungry thirsty sleepy I can't have fun. I need her I really love her but I am afraid of losing her. And we haven't contact a week now. When I am at school I just standing in the class and watch the photos of her nothing else I can think of

Quote:

Originally Posted by njpknjpk

i can't move forward i am not going well at school i am not hungry thirsty sleepy i can't have fun. i need her i really love her but i am afraid of losing her.

Now that's scary. How old are you?

You are going to date and love many girls in your life before you find one to marry. Is this your first girlfriend?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Now that's scary. How old are you?

You are going to date and love many girls in your life before you find one to marry. Is this your first girlfriend?

I am 18. She is my first girlfriend and I am her first boyfriend.
But... I think of what you wrote earlier and you are right. I was the one who made this I was so selfish and scared her I am such an idiot I was the problem to begin with I will apologize tomorrow and thank you you really helped me.
Yes I might find many girls in my life but... I really love her too much to let her she everything for me I had a dream since I was 5. to go and live to japan. But now my dream changed I want to be with her that's all I don't care where just with her.she is just everything for me
And I have 1 more question! I haven't kissed her yet. And I haven't kissed a girl before and I am afraid of the first kiss. She hasn't kissed a boy either so I will have to be the one who leads right? But I don't know what to do and when to do it. And is it a problem that we haven't kissed in 1 month?

Quote:

Originally Posted by njpknjpk

yes i might find many girls in my life but... i really love her

My first love (for almost six years) says he still loves me -- 47 years later (and no, we didn't marry).

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Originally Posted by Wondergirl

My first love (for almost six years) says he still loves me -- 47 years later (and no, we didn't marry).

I am not the same I will be by her side nothing can make me leave her side except her. Only if she doesn't want me there I will leave.
but now you have someone right? ^_^
I had painfull 15 years now I am happy and she the onlyone that can make feel... I can't find words for it I just feel somehow very different like I was mente to be happy only with her! Now 3 day nonsleep in a row :P

Quote:

Originally Posted by njpknjpk

nothing can make me leave her side exept her. only if she doesn't want me there i will leave.
i had painfull 15 years now i am happy and she the onlyone that can make feel... i can't find words for it i just feel somehow very diferent like i was mente to be happy only with her! now 3 day nonsleep in a row :P

You are making yourself miserable. You were with her for only a month. You hardly know her! And she said to your friends that she doesn't want to see you any more. She can't tell you because you are too emotional, too intense. She is probably scared of you and your emotions.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

You are making yourself miserable. You were with her for only a month. You hardly know her! And she said to your friends that she doesn't want to see you any more. She can't tell you because you are too emotional, too intense. She is probably scared of you and your emotions.

Well you are right! I am muserable. And yes it's only a month. She didn't said to my friends that she doesn't want to see me anymore. She just start to be more sad the last week and see wasn't herself when we where out. I made it a big deal she might have something else that makes her sad I was selfish and scared her with my words. But I don't think she want's to break up with me.
Tha's why I will apoligize tomorrow and I will try to cheer her up nothing more nothing less. If she wants something I will give it to her. I undrestand now why she is not OK after I said those things. I was just an idiot.

Quote:

my friends said shh doesn't want me anymore

You had better be very, very careful how you apologize and what you say. I'm thinking this apology is just going to be more of your same emotional intensity that turns her off.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

You had better be very, very careful how you apologize and what you say. I'm thinking this apology is just going to be more of your same emotional intensity that turns her off.

Well I don't really know.
I will apologize for my hastyness and for the things that I said and upset her. After that I will go back to my normal self and start to make her laugh like she always like :)

Quote:

Originally Posted by njpknjpk

well i don't really know.
i will apologize for my hastyness and for the things that i said and upset her. after that i will go back to my normal self and start to make her laugh like she always like :)

Be prepared that she won't want to listen to you or talk to you.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Be prepared that she won't want to listen to you or talk to you.

you are right I will cheer her I always do ^_^ when I am strting she can't stop laughing wish me good luck ^_^ and thank you very much you really help me out :)

Quote:

Originally Posted by njpknjpk

you are right i will cheer her i always do ^_^ when i am strting she can't stop laughing wish me good luck ^_^ and thank you very much you really help me out :)

And stop being so emotional and intense, at least with her. That will be your undoing, your downfall.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

And stop being so emotional and intense, at least with her. That will be your undoing, your downfall.

Okay. I will try. Not try I will not be emotional! Thank you! For everything

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Originally Posted by njpknjpk

okay. i will try. not try i will not be emotional! thank you! for everything

Let me know what happens.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Let me know what happens.

okay ^_^ you will be the first one to know :)

Well I asked her we go out and talk. But she said she has no free time. For all the week and she doesn't know when she will have free time. I told her that I will be there if she needs me and everything she needs just call me.

Quote:

Originally Posted by njpknjpk

well i asked her we go out and talk. but she said she has no free time. for all the week and she doesn't know when she will have free time. i told her that i will be there if she needs me and everything she needs just call me.

And the message you got from this was what?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

And the message you got from this was what?

That she don't want to see me right now? She may need some time to think? I don't really know. I don't think I should push her to talk to me :/. What do you think?

Quote:

Originally Posted by njpknjpk

that she don't want to see me right now? she may need some time to think? i don't really know. i don't think i should push her to talk to me :/. what do you think?

You've made your move. She has no time for you now and in the future. She wasn't cheered or having fun with you (or was she?). The message I got from that is she is no longer interested. I don't think she will be thinking about getting together with you. Move on ahead without her. Meanwhile work on your emotions and intensity to calm them down.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

You've made your move. She has no time for you now and in the future. She wasn't cheered or having fun with you (or was she?). The message I got from that is she is no longer interested. I don't think she will be thinking about getting together with you. Move on ahead without her. Meanwhile work on your emotions and intensity to calm them down.

I won't give up on her. At least not just yet. I will wait a little if she is not showing any more interest in me I will move forward.but she was really happy when we first dating she couldn't stop laughing she was really beautiful when she was laughing I loved her smile.well it seems like it was time for me to realize that I don't live in a fairy tale :P

Quote:

Originally Posted by njpknjpk

i won't give up on her. at least not just yet. i will wait a little if she is not showing any more interest in me i will move forward.but she was really happy when we first dating she couldn't stop laughing she was really beautyfull when she was laughing i loved her smile.well it seems like it was time for me to realize that i don't live in a fairy tale :P

well yesterday she called me and said to go after school so we can talk.she was very sad so I asked if she is OK she said no we walked talked she laugh again. And when it was the time to get her home she said. '' this is goodbye,'' I tried to apolgize but she stopped me, '' you don't have to apologize me you was a great boyfriend I was really happy with you there is nothing wrong you did. It's me we can't be together anymore''. I asked why but she said.'' for no reason'' so she walked away and she said '' don't folow me we over'' and then I went home and couldn't cry. It seems I cried too much the other days that I don't have any tears now. But thank you anyway ^_^