>Threads merged to keep all information and advice on this subject in one place.<

My boyfriend and I have a really sweet relationship with each other. It's just that I'm a little too impatient and when he's at work and has no time to call me up or text me. I feel insecure even though I know he's not cheating on me behind my back! Right now the state of our relationship is really complicated. He still loves me and so do I but he doesn't want the tag name "relationship" or "boyfriend/girlfriend" between us because of my impatient nature. He wants us to be friends till I'm done with my A levels and am mature enough to be patient.

We are in the state of friendship right now and he still takes care of me the way he used to. It's just he no more calls me "baby" or "bunny" And I no more call him "sugar".

The idea of him not being my boyfriend really freaks me out!!


WHAT DO I DO?? /

He is right, as Long as you allow your emotions to run you you can not have a healthy relationship. Its shakey if the friends onlt can work since your insecurities won't be able to handle it but you got to give him crredit that he is trying rather than walking out of the relationship.

The relationship has cooled off because he's tired of the pressure of being suspect without cause.

That shows maturity on his part. He's likely not ready to give up the whole shebang, but needs some arm's length distance from you, in order to let you know that he won't put up with your insecurity and jealousy forever. When you think about that- where does a relationship go when one party is always accused of things they didn't do?

I don't know how old you are, or how experienced you are with past relationships, but I can tell you that this relationship will not last, if you can't figure out why your behavior has put such a wedge into your relationship. And then figure out, how to change.

Saying you will change, and actually changing are two very different things. Just saying the right words is only a temporary solution, because jealousy and insecurity will come back, even worse than before. An argument for example, will bring back the past, and in the heat of the moment, the accusations will be thrown in his face again.

Try counseling. Breaking this insecurity barrier you put up will not only help your relationship now, but all future relationships. The next relationship, if you don't figure this out, will end up just as this one has.

Yes, you are the problem, you are ruining the relationship. It is hard to say to be honest if he can ever go back. He wants to see at this point, if you can ever grow up and be mature

How old are you and how long had you been dating? You say the relationship has stayed the same you are just no longer called his girl friend. Is there sex in this relationship, all the benefits of one without the title?
If so, walk away. That is wrong and you are wrong as well.
You are now a friend with benefits if that is the case. He needs to leave you alone.

I have known 3 girls that were so insecure that they called their boyfriends work 3 to 5 times an hour. They ended up losing their jobs. If you don't learn to control this you will never have a good relationship and your insecurities will only get worse.

You have insecurities true enough and you need to deal with them, but don't allow him to use you either. That is bogus.
You are not ready for a relationship right now. You're not emotionally healthy enough for one.

Thanks jake 2008..
My feeling of insecurity comes from my bad experience with my past 3 relationships. And I'm 19 now... I always feel as if he's cheating me like my ex boyfriends did.. I don't want to get cheated all over again! Plus my friends have divided into two groups one of which is supporting him and the other say that he's not a good person... and that he is a stud! They want me to do a sting operation to test him while the group supporting him are saying that I shouldn't carry out the sting operation cause if he's bad I'll eventually get to know it but doing the sting operation is in a way insulting him and I shouldn't do it.

You don't need to be in a relationship of you are pulling stunts like that. It's immature and annoying. At 19 how many ex boyfriends have you had that have cheated? Did they cheat or did you just think they did?

! they did cheat on me! Caught them red handed..
2,and I like him that's y I am with him.. I'm not with him because I want to be in a relationship

My boyfriend fell out of love with me after the last fight... How do I make him fall back for me... I want him to fall like crazy the way he used to be!

There's no way to do this. If he fell out of love with you, it was for a reason. Either that or he was never really in love with you to begin with.

You can't make someone love you. He's done, and you have to accept that and move on.

Ah, this explains it. You were so insecure, you drove him away. Even after you were told to stop.

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/dating...ns-766363.html

Well alty,yeah... I want to make up to that and I desper8ly want him back!

If you need to be pulling stunts like this to test him, it does not matter how much you like him. You are not secure enough to be with anybody. That stuff is childish.

Leave him alone and learn patience and self control.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by mashiat

Well alty,yeah... I want to make up to that and I desper8ly want him back!

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Your desperation was what drove him away in the first place. You can't tell me that you've changed since then, since he had issues with it from the beginning, and told you to stop, and you didn't.

You're still the same person, the same insecure person, that you were during the relationship. It doesn't matter how much you want him back, he tried, he talked to you, he asked you to stop with your obsessive behavior, and you didn't. Now you're going to obsess about getting him back?

I see a restraining order in your future if you don't stop this.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by mashiat

thanks jake 2008..
my feeling of insecurity comes from my bad experience with my past 3 relationships. and I'm 19 now....I always feel as if he's cheating me like my ex boyfriends did..I dont want to get cheated all over again! Plus my friends have divided into two groups one of which is supporting him and the other say that he's not a good person...and that he is a stud! They want me to do a sting operation to test him while the group supporting him are saying that I shouldn't carry out the sting operation cause if he's bad I'll eventually get to know it but doing the sting operation is in a way insulting him and I shouldn't do it.

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This post is a good example of why you need to be on your own for awhile. You need to work through your issues with ex-boyfriends.

You are responsible for your own healing and letting past hurts go before you enter into a new relationship. It is your baggage and either you carry it or dispose of it. You should not expect someone else to shoulder it for you. They have their own baggage to deal with, why should they carry yours too?

There is nothing he or anyone else can do to make you feel secure. The more they try, the more you will demand until they reach the breaking point (it seems this one already has) and walk away. You need to find security, confidence and strength inside yourself. Learn to trust your judgment again. Trust that you can find and build a relationship with someone who wants to be with you. Someone who will set boundaries with you and stay inside them.

If you feel like you cannot let the past go and move forward on your own, look into counseling. But stop making others responsible for your negative emotional baggage.

Oh, and stop listening to friends who encourage you to act like an insecure 13 year old. Playing games is for the playground, not for relationships. If you play games in a relationship, board, word, and video games are a lot more fun.

I HAD A VERY BAD EXPERIENCE OF GETTING CHEATED ON IN THE PAST…and this thing made me insecure in nature about relationships…AND MY NATURE OF BEING INSECURE TURNED ME INTO A NAG TOWARDS MY BOYFRIEND! he has a very tight schedule, and is always busy with work(that’s what he tells me) which is why it was hard for him to give me much time.. BUT BECAUSE OF MY NATURE OF BEING INSECURE AND POSSESSIVE MY BRAIN PLAYED GAMES AND I WAS BOUND TO SUSPECT HIM THAT HE WAS EITHER PLAYING ME OR DOUBLING ME... but then again I managed to convince myself that he isn't a person like that
SOME TIMES BACK WHEN WE HAD A FIGHT OVER HIM GIVING ME HIS WRONG PASSWORD OF HIS FACEBOOK ACCOUNT…[though Iater when he gave me his email id and password of his Facebook account again, I found out that I actually typed the E-mail ID wrong (maybe he gave me the wrong email id or apparently my mind was playing games again.. I TRULY DON’T KNOW)]……I opened a fake account to test him.. My fake account flirted with him in full energy! And my boyfriend flirted back.. well, there is a little twist here; him and I, we don’t have a problem flirting with outsiders other than each other.. we allow each other to flirt with others unless it gets serious and way out of the line! but the thing is he told my fake account that he lost his love for me after I started becoming a nag, whereas, when we recently got back I asked him not to force himself to stay with me just out of pity and he told me that he does still feel for me. When I told a friend about it he said that my boyfriend does still feel for me cause otherwise a nerd like him wouldn’t waist so much time after me and that maybe whatever he told my fake account he probably said it just in a fit of rage… I CONTINUED FLIRTING WITH HIM FROM MY FAKE ACCOUNT EVEN AFTER WE GOT BACK CAUSE I DIDN’T WANT HIM TO KNOW THAT IT WAS ACTUALLY ME…THEREFORE,TO PREVENT MYSELF BEING A SUSPECT THE FLIRTING WENT ON.. One day, when I was talking to my boyfriend with the fake account on Facebook a friend came in and took over the chat and asked him to be friends with benefits.. AND TO MY UTTER SHOCK HE AGREED! WHEN I SHARED THIS WITH MY FRIEND AGAIN HE SAID THAT MY BOYFRIEND WASN’T SERIOUS ABOUT BEING FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS HE WAS JUST GOING WITH THE FLOW.. me being aware of him flirting with girls is okay but what hurt me was him agreeing to be friends with benefits with my fake account! I LATER DEACTIVATED MY ACCOUNT AS MY FRIENDS SAID THAT THIS’LL HELP IN PREVENTING MY MIND FROM PLAYING GAMES.

Last night when I was in a romantic mood and he did a thing which made me very happy.. so,I told him, “I love you.” And I suddenly realize that I can’t remember the last time he told me those words since we started going out. I asked him, “when was the last time you told me I love you?” And obviously he avoided it.. I asked him and then he made excuses of the network being out of reach.. and I finally tell him this- “you won’t be able to answer me even if I give you forever because you don’t even have an answer! Listen, please don’t force yourself to be with me if you don’t love me..I remember you telling me a couple of times that you no more have any emotions and all but I always ignored you but today I’m telling you don’t be with me if you don’t feel anything for me.”And that is when he said, “Sorry Mashiat..I can’t be with you…” Later when we talked he told me one thing, “ You know why I behaved the way I did? Cause I was always in stress and I had you in mind, worrying whether you took your meds on time, whether you studied properly, did you sleep well, etc. … but you’ll never understand all this cause you never tried to understand me. All you had in time was whether I gave you enough time and whether I was betraying you but what I always had in mind was whether you did everything properly and on time or not…” Well, I obviously can’t deny that he never stopped taking care of me even when we were in a fight, even after we broke up!

I want him back but I’m in a dilemma of whether I should try to get him back! What am I supposed to do? HELP!

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Alty

Your desperation was what drove him away in the first place. You can't tell me that you've changed since then, since he had issues with it from the beginning, and told you to stop, and you didn't.

You're still the same person, the same insecure person, that you were during the relationship. It doesn't matter how much you want him back, he tried, he talked to you, he asked you to stop with your obsessive behavior, and you didn't. Now you're going to obsess about getting him back?

I see a restraining order in your future if you don't stop this.

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Well,Alty... I changed and got him back too :) but something happened and I myself let him go... though I still want him... errr don't know what to do... I posted another question check that out

No, you don't try to get him back. You have serious problems and need therapy.
Please don't blame past men for your present mistrust, suspicions, jealousy, and drama.
You were attracted to those men. The problem is yours, not theirs.
Nothing 'made you a nag.' You nagged of your own free will.
You lost a nice guy, it seems, because of all your baggage.
Stay alone for a while while you get help. Help mostly means recognizing your responsibility for your actions, and not blaming others. That's the easy part. Putting it into practice is the hard part.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by mashiat

Well,Alty... I changed and got him back too :) but something happened and I myself let him go... though I still want him... errr don't know what to do... I posted another question check that out

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That question has been merged into this thread. Please do not start new threads asking about the same subject. If you have more questions or want to add additional information do so here.

This is another reason you need time on your own to learn how to be secure in your own thoughts and feelings.

Quote:

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I HAD A VERY BAD EXPERIENCE OF GETTING CHEATED ON IN THE PAST…and this thing made me insecure in nature about relationships…AND MY NATURE OF BEING INSECURE TURNED ME INTO A NAG TOWARDS MY BOYFRIEND! he has a very tight schedule, and is always busy with work(that’s what he tells me) which is why it was hard for him to give me much time.. BUT BECAUSE OF MY NATURE OF BEING INSECURE AND POSSESSIVE MY BRAIN PLAYED GAMES AND I WAS BOUND TO SUSPECT HIM THAT HE WAS EITHER PLAYING ME OR DOUBLING ME... but then again I managed to convince myself that he isn't a person like that
SOME TIMES BACK WHEN WE HAD A FIGHT OVER HIM GIVING ME HIS WRONG PASSWORD OF HIS FACEBOOK ACCOUNT…[though Iater when he gave me his email id and password of his Facebook account again, I found out that I actually typed the E-mail ID wrong (maybe he gave me the wrong email id or apparently my mind was playing games again.. I TRULY DON’T KNOW)]……I opened a fake account to test him.. My fake account flirted with him in full energy! And my boyfriend flirted back.. well, there is a little twist here; him and I, we don’t have a problem flirting with outsiders other than each other.. we allow each other to flirt with others unless it gets serious and way out of the line! but the thing is he told my fake account that he lost his love for me after I started becoming a nag, whereas, when we recently got back I asked him not to force himself to stay with me just out of pity and he told me that he does still feel for me. When I told a friend about it he said that my boyfriend does still feel for me cause otherwise a nerd like him wouldn’t waist so much time after me and that maybe whatever he told my fake account he probably said it just in a fit of rage… I CONTINUED FLIRTING WITH HIM FROM MY FAKE ACCOUNT EVEN AFTER WE GOT BACK CAUSE I DIDN’T WANT HIM TO KNOW THAT IT WAS ACTUALLY ME…THEREFORE,TO PREVENT MYSELF BEING A SUSPECT THE FLIRTING WENT ON.. One day, when I was talking to my boyfriend with the fake account on Facebook a friend came in and took over the chat and asked him to be friends with benefits.. AND TO MY UTTER SHOCK HE AGREED! WHEN I SHARED THIS WITH MY FRIEND AGAIN HE SAID THAT MY BOYFRIEND WASN’T SERIOUS ABOUT BEING FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS HE WAS JUST GOING WITH THE FLOW.. me being aware of him flirting with girls is okay but what hurt me was him agreeing to be friends with benefits with my fake account! I LATER DEACTIVATED MY ACCOUNT AS MY FRIENDS SAID THAT THIS’LL HELP IN PREVENTING MY MIND FROM PLAYING GAMES.

Last night when I was in a romantic mood and he did a thing which made me very happy.. so,I told him, “I love you.” And I suddenly realize that I can’t remember the last time he told me those words since we started going out. I asked him, “when was the last time you told me I love you?” And obviously he avoided it.. I asked him and then he made excuses of the network being out of reach.. and I finally tell him this- “you won’t be able to answer me even if I give you forever because you don’t even have an answer! Listen, please don’t force yourself to be with me if you don’t love me..I remember you telling me a couple of times that you no more have any emotions and all but I always ignored you but today I’m telling you don’t be with me if you don’t feel anything for me.”And that is when he said, “Sorry Mashiat..I can’t be with you…” Later when we talked he told me one thing, “ You know why I behaved the way I did? Cause I was always in stress and I had you in mind, worrying whether you took your meds on time, whether you studied properly, did you sleep well, etc. … but you’ll never understand all this cause you never tried to understand me. All you had in time was whether I gave you enough time and whether I was betraying you but what I always had in mind was whether you did everything properly and on time or not…” Well, I obviously can’t deny that he never stopped taking care of me even when we were in a fight, even after we broke up!

I want him back but I’m in a dilemma of whether I should try to get him back! What am I supposed to do? HELP!

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This in no way excuses your behavior however I am wondering if there might be more to your reactions than insecurity over past hurts. What medications are you on and what are they for? Some medications can have side-effects and interactions that can cause minor issues to become major problems. Add into the mix diet, sleeping habits, stress, etc. and you may have more going on than being emotionally unbalanced.

I am wondering if I owe your friends an apology. Did you 'test' him on your own or because friends told you to test him?

You need to get yourself straight before you enter a relationship. Leave this guy alone. This guy could be the most faithful and greatest but because you have issues it won't work . Get some help.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Cat1864

That question has been merged into this thread. Please do not start new threads asking about the same subject. If you have more questions or want to add additional information do so here.

This is another reason you need time on your own to learn how to be secure in your own thoughts and feelings.



This in no way excuses your behavior however I am wondering if there might be more to your reactions than insecurity over past hurts. What medications are you on and what are they for? Some medications can have side-effects and interactions that can cause minor issues to become major problems. Add into the mix diet, sleeping habits, stress, etc. and you may have more going on than being emotionally unbalanced.

I am wondering if I owe your friends an apology. Did you 'test' him on your own or because friends told you to test him?

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Cat1864, you made me laugh like anything... I said he took care of me... and the medications are plain multivitamin pills! ;)

Ok,so here's what happened...

Me and my guy Ansho were this super happy couple but one day I find him online on Facebook and knock but he doesn't respond... so I called him up to ask why wasn't he replying? Cause he never does that usually. He says he was outside and I could already hear the car honks. So I ask him if he was outside who's online then? Cause he didn't have tab back then? He said that it was apparently is best friend as he had Ansho's password. This hit my EGO; as in why I being his girlfriend don't have his password and his best friend does. I asked Ansho to give me his password which he did rightaway.
But I typed the email ID wrong for 5 days and constantly accused him of lying... this thing was later sort out though. But I have this problem with me.. once I start doubting someone I can't stop suspecting him in every aspect. And especially when it's someone as close as a boyfriend I start becoming a nag.
And this is how things started turning ugly between him and I. Now to him I am someone who's really irritating whereas there was a time when he was frigging crazy about me!

Now this friend of mine says that I shouldn't try getting Ansho back and even if he himself comes back I shouldn't go back because once a relationship starts becoming ugly it never becomes okay!
Therefore,if I go back to him we'll fight again and then it'll hurt more than it does now.

P.S: For now I know Ansho isn't coming back anytime soon cause I hurt his ego real bad but I do feel deep inside that he will come back to me someday and for now I just need to give him a break from me for sometime and as he said I should try turning back to being the girl he actually fell for and mend my ways.


So here's my question...
[Should I keep up the hope that he'll be coming back? Will he actually come back??

Should you hope? No.
Will he come back? We aren't psychic.
Your insecurities, suspicious nature, and wild accusations are way out of hand.
Relationships involve a lot of compromise, understanding, and thinking before you act.

The story about the password is too confusing but it doesn't matter - it's clear that you would drive anyone away. Time to concentrate on other parts of your life, your future, instead of boys, for now.

If you asked a girlfriend for her password and it didn't work, wouldn't you just call her back and say: "I think I wrote it down wrong"? Why didn't you think to do that with your boyfriend instead of immediately going crazy on him? Also, why did you get angry that you didn't have the password when you never asked for it? He gave it to you as soon as you asked. He never did anything wrong--you're the one who blew him off. And his friend is right that you need to change before the relationship can work. Unless you're willing to stop being so angry and suspicious over someone who never did anything wrong, things will never get better. You need to do some serious thinking about why you react that way. You could start with giving him an apology.

You can't keep love alive if you are an out of control immature psycho nag. Give the guy a break and leave him alone and deal with your own personal issues. If he does want a second look and sees the same thing he ran from, he will not go that way again for sure.

Your threads have been merged together to keep all the information about this relationship in one place.

Quote:

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P.S: For now I know Ansho isn't coming back anytime soon cause I hurt his ego real bad but I do feel deep inside that he will come back to me someday and for now I just need to give him a break from me for sometime and as he said I should try turning back to being the girl he actually fell for and mend my ways.


So here's my question...
Should I keep up the hope that he'll be coming back? Will he actually come back??

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You hurt more than his ego. You damaged his trust and any positive feelings he had for you by playing games and letting your insecurities take over.

Whether he will come back or not, I don't know. I do know that you are not ready for a relationship. Don't worry about him until you have yourself under control.

You do not need his passwords to anything. He should not have given you the password to his Facebook account. You were over the line when you asked for it out of jealousy and insecurity. All he did was feed that insecurity by giving in to your request/demand.

You do not need hope that he will come back. What you need is to decide who you want to be and make the changes for yourself. If you try to change for someone else, it won't work because if they don't respond the way you think they should the changes will come undone and you will be back at square one.

You need to learn how to handle your insecurities. What triggers them? How can you stop them before they cause trouble? Not what he (or anyone else) can do. What can you do? What can you do to help increase your own sense of security so that you aren't expecting someone else to make you feel secure?

It feels good to have someone care for and about you, but that should enhance how you feel inside. It should not take over or replace the support you give yourself. When you have confidence in yourself and your choices then you won't feel the need to test the relationship or listen to well-meaning friends who may have their own reasons for causing problems in your relationship.

You have some serious issues. Why would you even ask him for his password?
If he is smart, he will leave you alone. If you are smart, you will get yourself together before you get into another relationship. You are not an emotionally healthy person and you certainly are not ready to be in a relationship with someone.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Cat1864

That question has been merged into this thread. Please do not start new threads asking about the same subject. If you have more questions or want to add additional information do so here.

This is another reason you need time on your own to learn how to be secure in your own thoughts and feelings.



This in no way excuses your behavior however I am wondering if there might be more to your reactions than insecurity over past hurts. What medications are you on and what are they for? Some medications can have side-effects and interactions that can cause minor issues to become major problems. Add into the mix diet, sleeping habits, stress, etc. and you may have more going on than being emotionally unbalanced.

I am wondering if I owe your friends an apology. Did you 'test' him on your own or because friends told you to test him?

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I decided to test him myself...

Quote:

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Originally Posted by pwooden

If you asked a girlfriend for her password and it didn't work, wouldn't you just call her back and say: "I think I wrote it down wrong"? Why didn't you think to do that with your boyfriend instead of immediately going crazy on him? Also, why did you get angry that you didn't have the password when you never asked for it? He gave it to you as soon as you asked. He never did anything wrong--you're the one who blew him off. And his friend is right that you need to change before the relationship can work. Unless you're willing to stop being so angry and suspicious over someone who never did anything wrong, things will never get better. You need to do some serious thinking about why you react that way. You could start with giving him an apology.

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I used to trust people too easily and that is when I got back stabbed again and again and this is how my nature of suspecting people too much grew.

And I apologised to him... but this time he is not taking back.

No, he's not coming back. No, you shouldn't wait for him to come back, and he'd be a fool to come back. My advice to you hasn't changed since October when you first posted about this. You need serious help before you seek out any relationship.

Get some help, work on yourself or you will destroy every relationship you get in from now on.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Cat1864

Your threads have been merged together to keep all the information about this relationship in one place.



You hurt more than his ego. You damaged his trust and any positive feelings he had for you by playing games and letting your insecurities take over.

Whether he will come back or not, I don't know. I do know that you are not ready for a relationship. Don't worry about him until you have yourself under control.

You do not need his passwords to anything. He should not have given you the password to his Facebook account. You were over the line when you asked for it out of jealousy and insecurity. All he did was feed that insecurity by giving in to your request/demand.

You do not need hope that he will come back. What you need is to decide who you want to be and make the changes for yourself. If you try to change for someone else, it won't work because if they don't respond the way you think they should the changes will come undone and you will be back at square one.

You need to learn how to handle your insecurities. What triggers them? How can you stop them before they cause trouble? Not what he (or anyone else) can do. What can you do? What can you do to help increase your own sense of security so that you aren't expecting someone else to make you feel secure?

It feels good to have someone care for and about you, but that should enhance how you feel inside. It should not take over or replace the support you give yourself. When you have confidence in yourself and your choices then you won't feel the need to test the relationship or listen to well-meaning friends who may have their own reasons for causing problems in your relationship.

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Well, you are right. He did say that he can no longer trust me and is not sure whether I'm right for him.. He texted me this last night when I asked him for an explanation.

Well, it sure is true that I asked for his password out of jealousy but not because of insecurity cause I still trusted him!

Quote: "He said I should try turning back to being the girl he actually fell for and mend my ways."

My friends say he said that just to make me feel better and stop disturbing him... But his words gave me hopes though after that day it really have any more meaning though...

Quote:

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My friends say he said that just to make me feel better and stop disturbing him... But his words gave me hopes though after that day it really have any more meaning though...

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Your friends are right. Remember when you first posted about this? I told you that if you kept this up there would a restraining order in your future. At this point I think that would be the wisest thing for this guy to do, since you will not leave him alone, no matter what.

I really wish he'd come here for advice. The advice I'd give him would be to delete you from all accounts, ignore your calls, and if you continue to harass him, to get a restraining order.

You need to stop this and get into therapy! I can't stress that enough.

His words and actions should be taken as a warning to leave him alone until you have gotten yourself under control, and dealt with your own issues. I doubt he waits around hoping you do this because he probably feels you will NOT change, and if you do, it may take years.

Forget testing him, and bothering him, test yourself, improve yourself.

He texted my cousin that he still has feelings for me but he's suppressing them so that I start taking care of myself and change myself in the process too! He asked my cousin not to say this to me but when my cousin saw how broke I was she told about his text... actually showed it to me... He just wants me to change... And he gave me signs that if I change ,i.e. start taking care of myself,study,eat and sleep properly,etc... he'll come back to me... So what I've now decided is... I'll contact him less often now and try and achieve the goals I've set,i.e. the changes he wants in me and when I've achieved them I'll ask him to come back and my heart says he will!! :D :D

Contact him less often, you should not contact him at all. He may miss you but I think some time away from you and he will be fine.
You have an unhealthy obsession for him and you need to be away from him and work on yourself.

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Originally Posted by mashiat

He just wants me to change... And he gave me signs that if I change ,i.e. start taking care of myself,study,eat and sleep properly,etc... he'll come back to me... So what I've now decided is... I'll contact him less often now and try and achieve the goals I've set,i.e. the changes he wants in me and when I've achieved them I'll ask him to come back and my heart says he will!! :D :D

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This will seem harsh because you still do not understand.

You cannot make changes for other people. You have to make changes for yourself because you believe it is better for you.

Changes made for other people will not last and you will slowly revert to the insecure and unhealthy person who created the issues. The negative changes will be quicker if he doesn't come running back when you think he should.

Stop giving yourself false hope. The text was not meant for you. It was not meant to give you hope that he will be around in the future. It was not meant to give you hope that he is waiting for you because he shouldn't. He has his own life to live and you need to understand that you are not a part of it.

You cannot become the person you were. Your experiences, thoughts and feelings mold the person you are. Positive and negative, they shape the unique individual that is you. The person you are now needs to decide who and what you want to become. The future you can be so much stronger and healthier if you give her the support she needs.

Learn who you are and who you want to be. Put your energy into healing yourself. Find passion for yourself. Give yourself a chance to live.

Well,just so u know my faith has paid off n Ansho n I are back together in full bloom!! :D

That's good. Did you improve yourself, or did he miss you?

Well,a little of both maybe :p