Ask Me Help Desk - Abortion??

Abortion??

My boyfriend went overseas to play basketball he would be gone for seven months, and I'm so sad. I have a huge problem, before he left he wanted to take my virginity, so I decided to go through with it. I just found out today I'm seven weeks pregnant, and I don't know what to do. I don't want his family to think I trapped him by getting pregnant, and I'm after his money. The messed up part is his ex-girlfriend is eight months pregnant with his baby. I feel so stupid, I never should have got back with him. We were together two years ago, but we broke up because he needed sex, and I wasn't ready. Now that I'm pregnant, I'm realizing I do love Chris, but I don't want to have his baby. I don't want to be baby mama number two. I'm in serious thought about having an abortion. We both are 21 years old, but he is one month older than me. I think I'm too young to have a baby
I need advice, what should I do??

I'd say you could start by telling him you are pregnant and considering abortion. But he would probably just string you along with hopes while still wanting the other girl.

Find the nearest Planned Parenthood in the phone book, and if there isn't one near you, they will direct you to a clinic. You don't need to decide what to do when you go - just get counseling. You want to go ASAP, tomorrow. The days speed by, and you need to act either decision you make.
I would not talk to him, but that is just me. He was very irresponsible about this (you were too, but I don't want to beat you up - he was worse).

Ok, as for planned parenthood, sorry but that abortion mill will just help talk you into one, but there should be many other pregnant counseling centers If you want the abortion, Planned Parenthood is the place to go,

But you need to discuss this with at least the boyfriend, since it is his child also, and the plan to terminate a child should be both of yours. And if you both love each other, and he was not just wanting to have sex with a virgin and now has moved on to someone else, he may wish to be with you.

So time to talk about this, first to him, and then to a center that will care about you and give you good options.

Your body, your decision.

Abortions are not a debatable topic, when it comes to personal choice. It is your decision to make, and yours alone. If you are well informed, abortion is indeed a choice, and an option.

I too, would not bring this up with any person, and like any other serious problem that needs to be solved, it is your decision to make. It is not helpful for anyone to suggest that you will be 'talked into an abortion'- such a decision is not something that anyone can dictate. It is your decision, and yours alone.

When you are informed, the only opinion that matters will be your own. Be honest with yourself, and decide your path based on your situation, and your needs.

Please don't delay your decision.

I wish you well, and as a woman who has been there and done that, I understand what you are going through.

Of course, why would the father of the child, need to know or what to have any say.

Abortions are not the only thing Planned Parenthood does and I know many young ladies who have gone there, been counseled and have decided not to abort.

I think the guy should know about the pregnancy but the decision should be yours. Then discuss birth control. You are old enough to have known better.

Probably depends on the particular counselors at any of the many Planned Parenthoods because I have heard that complaint by many that they push for them to get an abortion.
If the baby daddy wants you to have the baby then he should come to an agreement whether it be that he makes sure the baby is well taken care of financially by him or he raise the baby or whatever terms you agree to. Many guys can say they want you to have the baby but are they going to walk the talk?

Probably depends on the particular counselors at any of the many Planned Parenthoods because I have heard that complaint by many that they push for them to get an abortion.

People should not make blanket statements like that. Not everyone who goes to one has an abortion or is encouraged to have one.

Fr_Chuck, it bothers me that you tell everyone that PP will shove an abortion on you. It's not true and it's not helpful. As for this bozo having any right to know he is fathering yet another child, just because he wanted her virginity before he left the country? You won't take a stance? I will - this is a guy who doesn't deserve to know if she decides to abort.

Go to planned parenthood as soon a possible just to get the process of making an informed decision as quickly as possible, and as you are the main one affected by whatever decision you make, who you tell, or when, is also YOUR decision.

Trying to please him is what got you where you are now, so be wise in what you do for YOURSELF, NOT others. I applaud you for recognizing that you would be a second baby mama, and his need for sex got another pregnant before YOU. His need for sex over ruled any caring for the consequences he will face, and both female.

That's why I think this is YOUR exclusive decision, because he has already proven what's best for you is NOT a high priority. You don't want to be tied to this fellow with no choices or option that work for YOU in the future.

Good luck.

Thanks everyone for the advice

Planned parenthood has made the news and some clinics have even taken have broken laws, and more. I would almost rather send a young girl anywhere, than to one of those places.

There are so much negative information about them, I can not believe any moral person could even suggest using them for anyone.

They take a lot of choice out of the counseling from most information I have seen. Sending someone to the place that makes most of its money from abortions ( other than government funding ) of course they are going to be one sided.

A counseling center that does not make money from abortions would be the only good place.

I woiuld consider that no one has researched all of the problems with planned parenthood that actually supports them

Child Sex Trafficking | Live ActionLive Action

Planned Parenthood facing 107 criminal charges

https://www.oag.state.tx.us/oagnews/release.php?id=4455

Clinics Committing Illegal Abortions | Planned Parenthood, American Center for Law and Justice ACLJ

3 out of 4 of those sites have a raving agenda.
If you aren't out there stopping girls around the world from getting pregnant, and you aren't shelling out your entire life savings to support MILLIONS of unwanted babies, then you have no right (especially as a man) to rant about what women choose to do with their bodies.
Case in point: the young poster here, ditched, pregnant, by a disgustingly selfish MAN going around getting 2 women pregnant in 8 months, and not caring about either one.
I'd like to sue him and all the men like him.

The first place to consider, is your own doctor, or gynecologist. Do you have one? Can you afford one? He can most likely handle your questions and treat you in his office.

Without politics or pressure.

I hope that the OP will have a trusted friend with her, when she decides where to seek advice and guidance.

Starting with her Doctor. With such an emotionally draining time to face, it would be a good idea I think for someone to be with her, to talk things through. Her Doctor can probably provide different resources for help, and any women's organizations can assist with referral, counseling, and support.

She will ultimately be the one to decide, no matter which direction she goes, or what information she is given.

I agree with joy that the boyfriend should be excluded from her decision, for reasons Joy has said.

I hope she comes back and let's us all know how she's doing.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Homegirl 50

Probably depends on the particular counselors at any of the many Planned Parenthoods because I have heard that complaint by many that they push for them to get an abortion.

People should not make blanket statements like that. Not everyone who goes to one has an abortion or is encouraged to have one.

That is why I said probably depends where you go

I have to agree with fr chuck because the stories I have heard were from girls themselves AND the stories of the Clínic tactics were one time news stories themselves. So I agree it is best to talk to your doctor or somewhere else

Of course talk to your doctor. There is a lot of negative press out the about Planned Parenthood and a lot if untrue and biased press. You can find a link to support anything you want.

Point being be aware if you do go there.

It's like anything else in the world, some are better than others as some people are better than others. The point is you choose what's best for YOU. The sooner you checkout your options the better.

Your mom, or best friend are probably good sounding boards for your concerns, and the best source of support. I hope they are active in your life.

Quote:

Originally Posted by N0help4u

I'd say you could start by telling him you are pregnant and considering abortion. but he would probably just string you along with hopes while still wanting the other girl.

I decided to tell him, but he already knew

Quote:

Originally Posted by talaniman

Go to planned parenthood as soon a possible just to get the process of making an informed decision as quickly as possible, and as you are the main one affected by whatever decision you make, who you tell, or when, is also YOUR decision.

Trying to please him is what got you where you are now, so be wise in what you do for YOURSELF, NOT others. I applaud you for recognizing that you would be a second baby mama, and his need for sex got another pregnant before YOU. His need for sex over ruled any caring for the consequences he will face, and both female.

That's why I think this is YOUR exclusive decision, because he has already proven what's best for you is NOT a high priority. You don't want to be tied to this fellow with no choices or option that work for YOU in the future.

Good luck.

I got in contact with Chris, and told him I was pregnant. When I told him, he started laughing and told me "I Know." I was so mad I hung the phone up on him. I shouldn't believe he got me pregnant on purpose. I have an appointment with planned parenthood on Monday, time for this nightmare to be over.

Good you are back.

What was his reaction, and are you any closer to making a decision?

Quote:

Originally Posted by talaniman

It's like anything else in the world, some are better than others as some people are better than others. The point is you choose what's best for YOU. The sooner you checkout your options the better.

Your mom, or best friend are probably good sounding boards for your concerns, and the best source of support. I hope they are active in your life.

I decided to do what's best for me, but no one wants me to get an abortion

Quote:

Originally Posted by onlyoneme974

I decided to do what's best for me, but no one wants me to get an abortion

No one else has a right to make this decision for you, so who cares what everyone else wants?

If you've decided to abort, that's your choice. It's your body! You are the only one that has a right to choose. Others can offer their opinion, but they're not the ones that have to carry the child, or support it once it's born. You are. So it's your choice.

If you need support, there are many of us on this site that will be here for you. But you do have to make the decision soon. Most clinics won't abort after the 12th week.