Ask Me Help Desk - How to make my girlfriend love me again?

How to make my girlfriend love me again?

Yesterday I broke with my girlfriend and I think she don't love me anymore, because I’m always make her nervous and I hurt her too much but I don't mean to :( . The problem is that I’m jealous of her best friend he is a boy and I feel that she take care of him more than me and she see him every day and I’m not because I’m far from her now.

She flirting with him on Facebook :( and say to him lovely words, but when I fight her about that she said I love you not him, and she don’t mean the words we just joking. I can't accept that :( I feel that she was cheating on me. Also she said we should take our time and think, so I said to her I’m moving on because she choose him and me at the same time and I can't accept that, it's hard.

Please help. I don't know what to do :( I love her so much and she is my first love. I won't lose her.

You answered your own question. You said multiple times that you can't accept who she's friends with, you can't accept her, so you did the right thing by breaking up with her. You can't stay with someone expecting them to change. If you can't accept her for who and what she is, you aren't meant to be with her.

You also sound very controlling, you make her nervous, and you hurt her (I'm hoping you don't mean physically). It doesn't sound like she can be herself around you. That's not a relationship, that's prison.

You're both better off finding different people based on what you wrote.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alty

You answered your own question. You said multiple times that you can't accept who she's friends with, you can't accept her, so you did the right thing by breaking up with her. You can't stay with someone expecting them to change. If you can't accept her for who and what she is, you aren't meant to be with her.

You also sound very controlling, you make her nervous, and you hurt her (I'm hoping you don't mean physically). It doesn't sound like she can be herself around you. That's not a relationship, that's prison.

You're both better off finding different people based on what you wrote.

Yeaah but I still love her and I don't think that I'm going to forget her because she study with me in the next year :(

How old are you? Jealousy is your worst enemy, it will drive the one you love into the other guys arms almost every time.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nasri1996

Yeaah but i still love her and i don't think that i'm going to forget her because she study with me in the next year :(

Loving her and treating her well are two different things. If you can't do both, if you can't accept her for who she is, and love her for who she is, then you don't love her enough to stay with her. Love is unconditional. You have a lot of conditions.

You don't have to forget her. In fact, you'll probably remember her all your life. But that doesn't mean the two of you should be together. She's better off without you, based on what you posted. You're too jealous, you make her nervous, and you hurt her. Those are your words. Who would want a boyfriend like that?

Quote:

Originally Posted by N0help4u

How old are you? Jealousy is your worst enemy, it will drive the one you love into the other guys arms almost every time.

I'm 17 yrs old and I'm so jealous I want her only mine , because I'm not talking to any girl only her and I want she do the same

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nasri1996

I'm 17 yrs old and i'm so jealous i want her only mine , because i'm not talking to any girl only her and i want she do the same

If you want someone to obey your every command, than buy a dog. If you want a relationship, you're going to have to learn that what you want, doesn't always happen. If you can't accept that, then you move on.

I would really suggest you get some help dealing with your jealousy issues.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alty

Loving her and treating her well are two different things. If you can't do both, if you can't accept her for who she is, and love her for who she is, then you don't love her enough to stay with her. Love is unconditional. You have a lot of conditions.

You don't have to forget her. In fact, you'll probably remember her all your life. But that doesn't mean the two of you should be together. She's better off without you, based on what you posted. You're too jealous, you make her nervous, and you hurt her. Those are your words. Who would want a boyfriend like that?

Yeah she know all that from first I tell her and she accepted me but now she changed , and this is my first relationship in my life :( I need her love

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nasri1996

she changed

No, YOU changed.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nasri1996

Yeah she know all that from first i tell her and she accepted me but now she changed , and this is my first relationship in my life :( i need her love

You need air, you need food, you need a roof over you head. You don't need her love, and she obviously doesn't need your jealousy.

She may have accepted your issues in the beginning, but obviously it became too much for her, and she can no longer deal with it. That's her right.

She doesn't have to love you just because you love her. She doesn't have to accept your jealousy, and your control issues just because you want her to.

She has the right to walk away, so do you. In fact, you're the one that broke up with her, so why the sudden "need" for her love?

What you "need" to do is work on your issues, that way you won't drive the next girl away too.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alty

If you want someone to obey your every command, than buy a dog. If you want a relationship, you're going to have to learn that what you want, doesn't always happen. If you can't accept that, then you move on.

I would really suggest you get some help dealing with your jealousy issues.

Yeah I told her I can change for you and she should help me , but now she give up and she don't care if I stay or go so I choose moving on and she said we should break up ! Do u think it's the right choise

Yes, breaking up with her is the right choice. You can't make anyone do anything they don't want to do.

You need to take some time to learn to be not so controlling.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alty

You need air, you need food, you need a roof over you head. You don't need her love, and she obviously doesn't need your jealousy.

She may have accepted your issues in the beginning, but obviously it became too much for her, and she can no longer deal with it. That's her right.

She doesn't have to love you just because you love her. She doesn't have to accept your jealousy, and your control issues just because you want her to.

She has the right to walk away, so do you. In fact, you're the one that broke up with her, so why the sudden "need" for her love?

What you "need" to do is work on your issues, that way you won't drive the next girl away too.

Okey I will work on myself and go back to her when I change everything on me , I wish she will accept me then

Quote:

Originally Posted by J_9

Yes, breaking up with her is the right choice. You can't make anyone do anything they don't want to do.

You need to take some time to learn to be not so controlling.

Ok but I need some help because no one helping me on real life

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nasri1996

Yeah i told her i can change for u and she should help me , but now she give up and she don't care if i stay or go so i choose moving on and she said we should break up ! Do u think it's the right choise

You really don't have a choice because she can't deal with your jealousy. You can say you will change but people are creatures of habit and when they don't see the problem or they haven't got a clue on how to be different then they can not change. You have to see your problems from where you are and where you need to be. Someone telling you and you acknowledging it but not really understanding the problem will not do you a bit of good.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nasri1996

Okey i will work on myself and go back to her when i change everything on me , i wish she will accept me then

You change for you, not for her. I am sure she will not want you back. That's usually not how these things work.

How long will it take you to change yourself to not be jealous any longer?

Quote:

Originally Posted by N0help4u

You really don't have a choice because she can't deal with your jealousy. You can say you will change but people are creatures of habit and when they don't see the problem or they haven't got a clue on how to be different then
they can not change. You have to see your problems from where you are and where you need to be. Someone telling you and you acknowledging it but not really understanding the problem will not do you a bit of good.

But when her friend is not good he have a dirty mind and he want to talk that with her , he asking her about her period but she get nervous , my problem is with that person who is her best friend , I hate him , dirty miiind , wish you can understand me now..

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

You change for you, not for her. I am sure she will not want you back. That's usually not how these things work.

How long will it take you to change yourself to not be jealous any longer?

My jealousy for her is only from that guy who is her best friend , he have dirty mind and I know him as well...

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nasri1996

But when her friend is not good he have a dirty mind and he want to talk that with her , he asking her about her period but she get nervous , my problem is with that person who is her bestfriend , i hate him , dirty miiind , wish u can understand me now ..

I understand you VERY well BUT you can not make someone love you
AND you CAN'T save her from her mistakes.

Quote:

Originally Posted by N0help4u

I understand you VERY well BUT you can not make someone love you
AND you CAN'T save her from her mistakes.

Yeah I want to save her because that person may talk about her to his friends and then they will call her... I just won't that happen to her because I love her that's all

Like I said before the more you interfere the more you will drive her into his arms. Often when you want to help someone or fix something they do not see as a problem the more they will rebel. You have to let her make her own mistakes. If you try to do anything like tell her what he said to others about her then she can very well think you are making it up to try to break her up with him. Your efforts WILL backfire on you.

Quote:

Originally Posted by N0help4u

Like I said before the more you interfere the more you will drive her into his arms. Often when you want to help someone or fix something they do not see as a problem the more they will rebel. You have to let her make her own mistakes. If you try to do anything like tell her what he said to others about her then she can very well think you are making it up to try to break her up with him. Your efforts WILL backfire on you.

Yeah but what should I do now , should I let her somedays and then explain to her why I'm jealous ! It that can help

You do nothing. You go on with your life and leave her to go on with hers. Leave her alone before you become a stalker.

Quote:

Originally Posted by J_9

You do nothing. You go on with your life and leave her to go on with hers. Leave her alone before you become a stalker.

I won't because maybe I will never be loved again ,I'm just ugly , weak , no selfconfident , Shy . That's why I won't lose her

Then you will become her stalker and make her hate you. Is that what you want?

Quote:

Originally Posted by J_9

Then you will become her stalker and make her hate you. Is that what you want?

No sure :( ,so I will be forever alone like before

You are only 17 years old! You have many years ahead of you to meet women.

You are coming off as needy and desperate. No girl wants to be with a guy like that.

Quote:

Originally Posted by J_9

You are only 17 years old! You have many years ahead of you to meet women.

You are coming off as needy and desperate. No girl wants to be with a guy like that.

I don't care anymore , god made me like that and it's hard to change it , so I will just study and watch p**n on my mobile like always :( but sometimes I just need to some love :'(

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nasri1996

I don't care anymore , god made me like that

No, He didn't!! It's something that was happening while you were growing up.

Why are you so desperate to find love? Why so needy? How many children are in your family, and where are you in that lineup?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

No, He didn't!!!!!! It's something that was happening while you were growing up.

Why are you so desperate to find love? why so needy? How many children are in your family, and where are you in that lineup?

Cuz I'm always stay alone , idon't go out and I hate my family members so I'm always on my room now I have 71 days in my room . We r 4 children and I'l the last one .

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nasri1996

Cuz i'm always stay alone , idon't go out and i hate my family members so i'm always on my room now i have 71 days in my room . We r 4 children and i'l the last one .

Why do you stay alone? Why do you hate your family?

Don't you go to school? Or work? How do you eat?

Usually the last child is the one the parents spoil.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Why do you stay alone? Why do you hate your family?

Don't you go to school? or work? How do you eat?

Usually the last child is the one the parents spoil.

Yes I want to be alone always , I only hate them I don't know why !
We r in summer now so we don't have school , I don't eat too much only 1 time par day , No I'm not spoiled my big bro is spoil not me :(

You are defeating your own self. Girls do not like needy desperate guys that sulk. Your actions are pushing her away and you refuse to see it

Quote:

Originally Posted by N0help4u

You are defeating your own self. Girls do not like needy desperate guys that sulk. Your actions are pushing her away and you refuse to see it

Yeaah I know , but as I say it's hard to fix that , because I'm always alone , and you don't know how I'm living and how I feel in every single moment .

I don't know how you live but instead of dwelling hope bad things are take that time in your room to work on your character. Study self help things, hobbies, things you enjoy. Skip the p*0n! You know you can take non credit college courses for free on the Internet.

Quote:

Originally Posted by N0help4u

I dont know how you live but instead of dwelling hope bad things are take that time in your room to work on your character. Study self help things, hobbies, things you enjoy. Skip the p*0n! You know you can take non credit college courses for free on the Internet.

The things that I enjoy is video games , but now I don't have a good graphic PC so I can't play and my father won't to buy a new one for me :/ u see I'm just unlucky

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nasri1996

The things that i enjoy is video games , but now i don't have a good graphic pc so i can't play and my father won't to buy a new one for me :/ u see i'm just unlucky

Unlucky has nothing to do with it.

How old are you?

Maybe if you took an active part in your family life instead of hiding in your room all the time, your father would be more generous.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Unlucky has nothing to do with it.

How old are you?

Maybe if you took an active part in your family life instead of hiding in your room all the time, your father would be more generous.

I'm only 17 yrs old , I won't because the things they are talking about when they are together make me more nervous , I feel like they are all from the middle ages , my mom want to choose the girl who I will marry in the future... So I decide just to study in europe countrys in the next years and get girl from there if I find a girl likes me and accept me I will start changing myself for her from now

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nasri1996

the things they r talkin about when they r together make me more nervous , i feel like they r all from the middle ages

What do YOU want to talk about?

What country are you in? Are you Hindu or Muslim in that your parents want to choose your wife for you?

If you live in your room, it doesn't seem like you will be going very far in life. You are your own worst enemy.

Are your grades in school good enough to be accepted at a university?

Video games are a waste. You need to work on yourself image. You can stay in your room and pout or you can get up and fix you. You want to go to college, why don't you take some of the free internet courses so you are ready once you get there?
You are worried about never getting a girl but you know in your heart you will find one later. Concentrate on yourself for now.
Porn is not for you either. So many girls cry that their boyfriends are so addicted to porn that they totally ignore them.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

What do YOU want to talk about?

What country are you in? Are you Hindu or Muslim in that your parents want to choose your wife for you?

If you live in your room, it doesn't seem like you will be going very far in life. You are your own worst enemy.

Are your grades in school good enough to be accepted at a university?

I'm from Tunisia , Muslim I don't know what matter with them , they just want to control every thing about me , so I stop doing everythings, yeah I know but there is many reason for me to stay in my room always.
Yeah I'm good at school and I can do better in school just to go study in europe

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nasri1996

Yeah i'm good at school and i can do better in school just to go study in europe

Do you have savings enough for tuition and housing?