I've been dating this girl for about 5 yrs. I met her when I was 29 and she was 36. I took thing very slow to make sure she was the one.In the 5 yrs I have broken up with her twice and she has broken up with me at least 5-6 time she wanted to get married rite away I wanted to buy a house by myself to see what it was like to live on my own. That pissed her off and has been an roller coaster ride since then. When we where together I did a lot for her and her son.We didn't spend a lot of time together but we love each other very much.I do know she didn't cheat on me.But all the times she broke up and came back she said she was miserable without me and like wise with me.And her son talked about me when we were broken up and he missed me.I did make her mad sometimes.I bought a ring for her last march but gave it to her in August 2006. At this time I was going threw some very series back problems (in pain Alot) and worried about slowing down at work. So I wasn't jumping up and down when a proposed to her. She did like to spend money and didn't do a lot for me because of the house.But she is very good person. The first break up I did say some bad things about her to my friends and some don't like her because of that and her breaking up with me a lot. I spent a lot of money on the ring and gave her $2000.00 for new boobs in Jan. We got in a huge fight a couple of days after she got them done.It's been about six weeks since we e-mailed each other. In the email she said I broke up with her witch is not true. Then with some other excuses for breaking up with me she said I never loved her If I did I woud have been excited about the wedding planning the future telling my friend rite away that we got engaged I told them As I saw them.Her ex husband cheated on her and did a lot of thing to hurt her. But also told me That she was worried about him because he was a drug addict and was scared that he was going to die. She also said in one of the e-mails she loved me more then her Ex husband.She refuse to give the ring back and found out a couple of days ago from my sisters from what my ex's mom told them is she feels that we will be getting back together and I saw her mom about 3 weeks ago that she just comes home from work and lays around. She is a very busy person when she's happy. I guess what my question is she coming back and is she using the ring as away to control me. I love this woman and her son very much. I do know she loves me very much. She also said in e-mail I don't think we can give each other what we want. Even after all the break ups I can't get her out of my mind. I did talk to a free psychic and she believes we will be getting back together. She did say a lot about ex that was true.I just need to know that's why I called. But I guess until she does come back then I will believe it. She signed up for match.com about 3 weeks after she broke up with me. Then I signed up about 3 weeks after her not really to find somebody but to let her read and see my profile. After she saw it it took her about a week to go back on.And believe it or not what we are looking for in a person from are profiles are same. I don't know if anybody believe in the signs when you are born but she is a Aries and I am a virgo and are personalities from what they say on them are 95% accurate. She did say once its not if I could live with you rather If I could live without you. So if some one can give me some advise or if you think she will be back again.Because I do want her back again?

As far as the ring goes, I do think she's using it to control you. I think you should demand it back or sue her for the cost of the ring. You gave that to her in exchange for her hand in marriage and she didn't come through.

Second, I can't exactly tell you what's going on in her head but she obviously goes from high to low and back again. It just seems like she can't make a complete decision I guess I don't see how you can stay with someone who wants you then doesn't then does.

I realize you want her back so the only thing I would suggest is quit talking to her for a period and see if she contacts you but don't wait forever on her.

Whew what a lot to think about. I am unclear how long you've been broken up and can only guess about 6 weeks, and she hasn't talked to you since. If this is the case then you should get your ring back, and leave her alone and move on. The rest is drama and let me guess, not enough communication or you were not very good at it. After 5 years , you should almost be able to read her mind in my opinion. Some body has issues they need to resolve.

It was her birthday Fri 23 and I e-mailed her and was joking around with me and we e-mailed each oyher back today. But no answer about gettingt back she said thanks for caring about her and her son.

Hello, I read your question. I also read your private message to me about the same situation.

First I would like to ask how old are you and how old is she?

In what you have written there sounds to be a lot of immaturity. Immaturity and wanting to be physically enhanced. Wanting to have someone that is physically appealing especially somebody with money.

You do understand that the relationship you talk about does not sound like a relationship. For me it sounds like something that is convenient for her and her son. Your being used to be able to take care of her and her son.

Her obsession with looks, boobs and money worries me a whole lot.

Your reacting to everything she says and does and even you admit you do not spend quality time together so that tells me that the relationship is not that strong. You might know of her for the past five years but it does not seem like it has lots of substance.

The immaturity is not just her problem from the sounds of it but you are lacking maturity as well. You my friend are out seeking advice from pychics. Pychics may or may not be real. I do believe there are some that have gifts but just my personal feelings and thoughts from what is written by you is that it is OVER. That there needs to be an end to the madness that both you and her have been giving each other.

Another thing is basing your relationship on a compatibility through horoscopes. I have to admit at the beginning my wife and myself looked at that stuff, also else where. It was immature of us. We should know and of course we learned that we base it on how we treat each other, we base it on communication and love with each other. We base it on being best friends with each other. That we can not control everything. That all we should do is enjoy our time together and grow with each other. Not worry so much about the future which we can not predict. Just take each day, at a time as it comes.

There are paths in lives we all have to chose for ourselves. DO NOT BASE IT ON PYCHICS, OR ASTROLOGY.

You need to base it on what makes you happy, what you think is best for yourself. Decisions that you have to make for yourself. You can not base it on others, you can definitely get opinions of others and thoughts. It stops there.

THE FINAL STEP, WHETHER YOU DECIDE IT IS OVER OR NOT. DO NOT BASE YOUR WHOLE LIFE ON WHETHER SHE WANTS TO COME BACK TO YOU OR NOT.

YOU NEED TO STAND UP FOR YOURSELF. YOU NEED TO MAKE DECISIONS FOR YOURSELF TO ALLOW THIS OR NOT ALLOW THIS. TO MOVE ON OR NOT TO MOVE ON.

MY Opinion,

Is that this will always be a problem. Your always going to go through turmoil. This should be used as a learning lesson. That it is not worth going back and forth. Hoping for somebody to come back that are just playing head games with you and your falling for every single one of them.

Stop tormenting yourself and let this person go for good. That is my advice.

Joe

I've been doing a lot of thinking and you and every one is rite about this. I don't want to admit this but I always felt she called or came over to my house when she wanted something or something done. I AM going to let her go for good now and move on. It sounds silly but I still do love her and miss her and can't stop thinking about her but time will heel this 5 year roller coaster ride. And our age s are, she just turned 41 last week and I will be 35 in August.

You can not just stop feeling love. You have that feeling and it does not sound silly. Roller coaster rides, some of them turn out to be worth it. There is always ups and downs but this person was treating you like a door mat. You were only good to her as long as you bought everything for her and took care of her son. So I would say you are better off. Age does not matter. You, one day will find somebody that is more down to earth and less about physical and money.

Best wishes to you.

Joe

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Originally Posted by Jesushelper76

You can not just stop feeling love. You have that feeling and it does not sound silly. Roller coaster rides, some of them turn out to be worth it. There is always ups and downs but this person was treating you like a door mat. You were only good to her as long as you bought everything for her and took care of her son. So I would say you are better off. Age does not matter. You, one day will find somebody that is more down to earth and less about physical and money.

Best wishes to you.

Joe

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March 27 I stopped e-mailing her. But did leave her a message that her son was 7 year old son was at school and no one there to pick him up and for her to call someone to pick him up. And I didn't want to because I don't want to give him the wrong idea and said Bye. I said it fast and to the point. I recevied an e-mail say thanks for looking out for him and wanted to have me drop off her sons bed to her. I told her that would be find and let me know when you and her son would not be their so I could drop it off. I just hope she's not up to her old tricks again. She could have have her sons 19 yr old step brother call. But when she does replay back. I have written a email saying I will always love you but I am moving on and to leave me alone for ever. I was doing so good today not missing her and then she emails me. I know this is for the best but now It's like I'm back at square one again. And this is how she got her foot back into my life.

Make sure she gets all her stuff back and move forward.

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Originally Posted by talaniman

Make sure she gets all her stuff back and move forward.

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I just e-mailed her and said just that. I want to say thank you for your help I was upset all day today because she did e-mail me and I feel a lot better now! Noing there are people out their who care. Thank you my friend. And I will keep you informed on the hole situation.

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Originally Posted by SAB123

I just e-mailed her and said just that. I want to say thank you for your help I was upset all day today because she did e-mail me and I feel alot better now! Noing their are people out their who care. Thank you my friend. And I will keep you informed on the hole situation.

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Do you have any friends that you have talked to about this? Have they been any help?
It's a difficult situation from the sounds of it. I wish you the best of luck and I hope that time heals your wounds, and that you find the right one.

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Originally Posted by modular01

Do you have any friends that you have talked to about this? Have they been any help?
It's a difficult situation from the sounds of it. I wish you the best of luck and I hope that time heals your wounds, and that you find the right one.

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My friends are sick of the hole situation and can't really talk about with them because she breaks up with me and I still keep taking her back. Not this time. And on the email I sent this last week I told her I didn't want to ever see her or son again. And I couldn't hang out with her son in the future. Because I wasn't going to hang out while she out with a boyfriend or showing off boobs trying to pick up guys. So the nice guy I am I drop off bed etc and their is another guy there. I was so upset that she would do that noing I was going to be there at noon. I did see the guy and I know it he wasn't her type but the fact she had him their hurts. But in a way it really shows me what type of person she really was.

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Originally Posted by SAB123

My friends are sick of the kole situation and can't really talk about with them because she breaks up with me and I still keep takeimg her back. Not this time. And on the email I sent this last week I told her I didn't want to ever see her or son again. And I couldn't hang out with her son in the future. Brcause I wasn't going to hang out while she out with a boyfriend or skowing off boobs trying to pick up guys. So the nice guy I am I drop off bed etc and thier is another guy there. I was so upset that she would do that noing I was going to be there at noon. I did see the guy and I know it he wasn't her type but the fact she had if their hurts. But in a way it realy shows me what type of person she really was.

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Exactly, it shows exactly what type of person she is. It is better you see that now and you have taken the steps of not being stooped again.

Best wishes.

Joe

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Originally Posted by SAB123

My friends are sick of the kole situation and can't really talk about with them because she breaks up with me and I still keep takeimg her back. Not this time. And on the email I sent this last week I told her I didn't want to ever see her or son again. And I couldn't hang out with her son in the future. Brcause I wasn't going to hang out while she out with a boyfriend or skowing off boobs trying to pick up guys. So the nice guy I am I drop off bed etc and thier is another guy there. I was so upset that she would do that noing I was going to be there at noon. I did see the guy and I know it he wasn't her type but the fact she had if their hurts. But in a way it realy shows me what type of person she really was.

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I really feel for you, I go through the same things, only I'm the girl... my friends are so sick of hearing about it and seeing it... its hard to think they can do these things to you. They are such selfish people.
There has been no contact for me for about 2 weeks now, its hard but you have to really ask yourself why you would let someone treat you like that... dont contact her at all, too much stress... gd luck

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Originally Posted by hair2007

i really feel for you, i go through the same things, only im the girl... my friends are so sick of hearing about it and seeing it...its hard to think they can do these things to you. they are such selfish people.
there has been no contact for me for about 2 weeks now, its hard but you have to really ask yourself why you would let someone treat you like that...dont contact her at all, to much stress...gd luck

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Thanks for your support. My Ex was bosey, aways talking about money, aways yelling at me, hate to here no for answer and thinking about it now the most selfish person I ever met and I think she did 6 things for me the hole 5 years. I'm not missing her as much now,maybe because she broke up with me so many times. But I'm more hurt know because I realize how evil she is. I'm think of the future now and one day new girl friend and if/when she comes back to see me happy without her. Just to show you what type of person she was to me. Last July had a foot drop and found out I have 5 disks out on lower back and 4 on top (very seroius problems) When I told her that she said well who's going to mow my lawn now. Till this day I'm very hurt she said that.

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Originally Posted by SAB123

Thanks for your support. My Ex was bosey, aways talking about money, most of the time yelling/complaining at me, didn't like here no for an answer and thinking about it now the most selfish person I ever met and I think she did 6 things for me the hole 5 years. I'm not missing her as much now,maybe because she broke up with me so many times. But I'm more hurt know because I realize how evil she is. I'm think of the future now and one day new girl friend and if/when she comes back to see me happy without her. Just to show you what type of person she was to me. Last July had a foot drop and found out I have 5 disks out on lower back and 4 on top (very seroius problems) When I told her that she said well who's going to mow my lawn now. Till this day I'm very hurt she said that.

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Yeah its always about them!! always.. I can see that now more so that I'm looking in the window, try not to think about the things she has said, it will make you crazy.. I it does it to me.
I think I hold the record for getting back and fourth with my ex, only he says he's commitment phobic, yet we were married to.. lol.. its all about them and how they are feeling that day. That's not worth it, id rather be single...

Everyone told me she was using me even her sons dad. (She didn't have her son with her husband) I just didn't want to here it from anybody because I did love her and her son. I guess love is blind to some people and I do know one day she will be calling or trying to find out where I'm living when I sell my house. She live 8 blocks from me. She was very forgetful of things and I always thought every break up she didn't know what she was doing. Maybe she getting signs of mental problems/Bi polar. Her mom is taking medication for mental problems

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Originally Posted by SAB123

Everyone told me she was using me even her sons dad. (She didn't have her son with her husband) I just didn't want to here it from anybody because I did love her and her son. I guess love is blind to some people and I do know one day she will be calling or trying to find out where I'm living when I sell my house. She live 8 blocks from me. She was very forgetful of things and I always thought every break up she didn't know what she was doing. Maybe she getting signs of mental problems/Bi polar. Her mom is taking medication for mental problems

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So funny, my ex lives about 10 houses up from my business, that's why it so easy for him to come around and see me when he thinks he loves me again and can't live without me...

Of course she will be back, one way or another, they are so selfish though, they come back for the wrong reasons... if and when she does I hope its for real for u, if it isn't I so hope u are moved on. Its so hard no matter what happens. That's why I love this site, I came on it by accident, it helps a lot... ( :

For anyone who would like to read my private messages that I have sent to Jesushelper and Talaniman to help them in their recovery.
Please let me know and I will send them to anybody who would like to know rest of this very hurtful, realalistic story.( It may help you if you are going through same thing) Thanks everyone.

Is it normal to start getting upset and thinking more about her son then her. Does this mean I'm starting to get over her. And I don't know if I will ever stop thinking about them but how will I know when to start dating someone again. Will the first girl always be a rebound. Because I'm the type of person who doesn't want to hurt a person feelings. Maybe that why I always took her back. But I can say one thing NO one will ever treat me like that ever again.(Myoriginal Post is my Ex Fiancé coming Back Again)

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Originally Posted by SAB123

Is it normal to start getting upset and thinking more about her son then her.

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I am not sure I understand this question. Why do you get upset? Because you worry about her son?

How long has it been since you broke up with your fiancé? If you feel like you are still not "over her", then I don't advice getting into a new relationship. But, this does not mean that you shouldn't meet new people. Keep it light and have fun. Take the time to straighten yourself up and heal from the break up.

No, the next girl doesn't necessarily have to be a rebound as long as you've taken all the time you need to heal and become mentally and emotionally ready to be available to another person. Make sure you do not get involved with someone until you are a stronger and wiser man from the experience with your fiancé.

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Originally Posted by SAB123

For anyone who would like to read my private messages that I have sent to Jesushelper and Talaniman to help them in their recovery.
Please let me know and I will send them to anybody who would like to know rest of this very hurtful, realalistic story.( It may help you if you are going thru same thing) Thanks everyone.

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Yeah, that would be great... if u don't mind.thanks

SAB, maybe posting them on your thread would help.

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Originally Posted by SAB123

Is it normal to start getting upset and thinking more about her son then her. Does this mean I'm starting to get over her. )

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My ex of 3 years had a daughter and I know after the break up I really missed her just as much as my ex. The reality was I loved her daughter and when the break up happened I was kind of left without either one of them. I think what your experiencing is the normal part of loss and shock in your life. Someone that was there for a period is no longer there.

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Originally Posted by SAB123

And I don't know if I will ever stop thinking about them but how will I know when to start dating someone again. Will the first girl always be a rebound.

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Trust me, I was the same way, thinking I would never get over them but then life starts to happen and one thing leads to another and you start thinking less and less. Then the only time you think of them is when you have to because it's brought up, like I am because of this question. But as I type it out the pain is long gone and it doesn't hurt like your hurting. You just have to give it time.

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Originally Posted by SAB123

Because I'm the type of person who doesn't want to hurt a person feelings. Maybe that why I always took her back. But I can say one thing NO one will ever treat me like that ever again.(Myoriginal Post is my Ex Fiance coming Back Again)

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Good, learn from you errors and don't repeat them. You'll do just fine.

After about 6 weeks I emailed her wishing her a happy B-day. Then we pretty muched emailed each other all day Fri and Mon. We were joking around like we used to when we were togther. Then I called her at work. We talked then she mentioned her x husband and his friend stopped over to do something for her. As he was leaving she said what do you think of my boob job. He said they were fine the way they used to be. Then she said she lifted her alter top showing her shirt and said they are great aren't they. Then I told her I don't want to hear about that it makes me upset. Because I never saw them to begin with. Then I asked her how she like my profile on matchcom she said I didn't write it. It was to good. But I did, I told her That it was aimed toward her. And was taking it off. She asked why and I told her I'm not interest in any of them. I told her my sister was introducing me to all her single friends. We hung up and she emailed me back saying she wasn't ready to hear about girls I will be dating just like you don't want to hear about my boobs. She said she wanted to drop off a DVD for my dad that she made for him in my mail box. I told her to give it to me in person because we are eventully are going to cross paths later. She did come over we talked then she said knowing I didn't want to see her boobs. She ask if I wanted to see them after a couple of No's I finally gave in and looked then she said I could feel I hasitated but touched the top of them. She left a couple of minutes later and did look like she wanted to cry. In one email she did tell her son that he would see me again and we would be buddies. Then Tues I e-mailed her and said I wanted to be Jakes dad and her husband and wanted to take her out to dinner to try to to work this out. She wrote back "Scott broke up to so many time over the same issues. We need to let go of each other and obvisouly we are both having a problem doing that. Thanks but dinner is not a good idea." I haven't e-mailed her since and it been 3 days from when I e-mail this to you. I did call her to let her no that her son was standing around at school and told her to call her mom to get him. I told her I did want to give Jake the wrong message by picking him up. And when I was driving past he did see me and the look on his face was where are you going. I do know that she dosen't go out she stays home when she doesn't run around with her son. And she is still wearing the ring. Her mom told my sisters, I told her to give the ring back but she didn't say any thing and her mom feels we will be back together. My X left 10 minutes before my sisters got their. So I don't know if she told her mom to say that or what. And in the emails she told me thanks for still caring about her and made her feel good that still did .All the other times she came back she told me she was miserable with out me and mentioned one time who's car was that in my drive way . So I do no she was very jealous. I told her I loved her in the e-mails but she never said anything about missing me or loved me. But when we broke up in Feb of this year she did tell me I loved you in fact I love you more then my Ex Husband. And in the emails when we did break up in Feb she kept giving me different reasons she broke up You never loved Me was the first one then we can't give each other what we want. Then it was I was taking my time on the getting married wasn't excited enough didn't tell my friend rite away. But in the 5 yrs we have been together I do no that she loves me a great deal. You asked me about communicating issues yes we both were bad at telling each other when their was a problem. All other break up she did say that this is it and leave her alone but always came back. I never chased, contacted , called or drive past her house crying over her. She did say when we did get together the first she said she didn't like whinny guys sitting on her porch crying over her. She told me that I was the only one that ever did that. I am moving on know because this is tearing me up inside and was starting to get over her before I told her drop off the dvd. And she did tell my sister a month ago she would give the dvd to her. But I guess I'm still wondering if she will come back again if she finds out I'm dating or when I sell my house One thing with fer she was bosey, Selfish and very very high maintenance she told me she deserves the best and will not settle for anything less. She is very picky about men. She is looking for someone with money and very good looks. That is me. So please give me your opinion on this hole situation because I don't want her coming around when I am involved with some one else and ruining that when I finally do get over her. And she does get what she wants. Do think she showed boobs to keep me thinking of her

From Talaniman
Until you make a decision to stop sending mixed signals and end this firmly but finally, she will waltz back and forth into your life whenever she feels like it. Seems to be a pattern with all her relationships. This includes your family as well. Tell everyone and your ex, this is over and then mean it. As a relationship, this is going no where, so you have to make a decision and stick to it. And make everyone else stick to it also.
__________________
Talaniman/agree or disagree let me know

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Originally Posted by SAB123

From Talaniman
Until you make a decision to stop sending mixed signals and end this firmly but finally, she will waltz back and forth into your life whenever she feels like it. Seems to be a pattern with all her relationships. This includes your family as well. Tell everyone and your ex, this is over and then mean it. As a relationship, this is going no where, so you have to make a decision and stick to it. And make everyone else stick to it also.
__________________
Talaniman/agree or disagree let me know

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Originally Posted by SAB123
I don't understand how I'm sending her mixed signals I told her I wanted to still marry her and her son. But I have told everybody I am through with her. But just when I start to get over her she comes back and I still do take her back because I guess I think I can change her.

From Talaniman
You want to marry her but your through. Mixed signals my friend...
__________________

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Originally Posted by SAB123

Originally Posted by SAB123
I dont understand how I'm sending her mixed signals I told her I wanted to still marry her and her son. But I have told everybody I am thru with her. But just when I start to get over her she comes back and I still do take her back because I guess I think I can change her.

From Talaniman
You want to marry her but your thru. Mixed signals my friend.....
__________________

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Originally Posted by SAB123
I guess you are wright but she doesn't know I want to move on
I guess I'm talking myself out my feelings for her not to take her back. And do you think by showing her boobs in back of her mind is to keep me thinking of her and not find any one she new I would get jealous if I saw them.

From Talaniman
I don't care about her boobs and niether should you so get your act together and make up your damn mind what you want to do and be honest about it. All of this should be posted on the forum for feedback.
__________________
Talaniman/agree or disagree let me know

Quote:

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Originally Posted by SAB123

Originally Posted by SAB123
I guess you are wright but she doesn't know I want to move on
I guess I'm talking myself out my feelings for her not to take her back. and do you think by showing her boobs in back of her mind is to keep me thinking of her and not find any one she new I would get jealous if I saw them.

From Talaniman
I don't care about her boobs and niether should you so get your act together and make up your damn mind what you want to do and be honest about it. All of this should be posted on the forum for feedback.
__________________
Talaniman/agree or disagree let me know

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[QUOTE=SAB123]Originally Posted by SAB123
The more I think about it a part of me wants to let go because I am tired of the games and a lot of my friend do not like her because they feel she treats me bad and only thinks of herself and using me for my money. I do know she only cares about herself but she does treat me good sometimes. But I truly love her and I really don't want to let go of her. Every one say move on for good but I can't except it probably because she was my first love and I miss her when she not in my life but was always yelling at me when we were together. And we didn't see a lot of each other because of this.

From Talaniman
This isn't a healthy relationship whatsoever. Move on.
__________________
Talaniman/agree or disagree let me know

[QUOTE=SAB123]

Quote:

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Originally Posted by SAB123

Originally Posted by SAB123
The more I think about it a part of me wants to let go because I am tired of the games and alot of my friend do not like her because they feel she treats me bad and only thinks of herself and using me for my money. I do know she only cares about herself but she does treat me good sometimes. But I truly love her and I really don't want to let go of her. Every one say move on for good but I can't except it probally because she was my first love and I miss her when she not in my life but was always yelling at me when we were together. And we didn't see alot of each other because of this.

From Talaniman
This isn't a healthy relationship whatsoever. Move on.
__________________
Talaniman/agree or disagree let me know

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QUOTE=SAB123]Originally Posted by SAB123
Yes, you are right and that is what I'm going to do. Thank you for showing me the light from another person point of view besides my friends was very helpful. Because all y friends and family feel the same way.

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Originally Posted by talaniman

SAB, maybe posting them on your thread would help.

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Below is the private E-mail me and Talaniman had in the beginning. Sorry about not having it in sequence but I didn't Know how this site worked and Privately emailed Tal
Because I didn't know he would keep looking at my problem. But it's nice to know he and other people do.Thanks everyone. Its been 11 weeks I'm getting better but still hurt insid.

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Originally Posted by manimuth

I am not sure I understand this question. Why do you get upset? Because you worry about her son?

How long has it been since you broke up with your fiance? If you feel like you are still not "over her", then I don't advice getting into a new relationship. But, this does not mean that you shouldn't meet new people. Keep it light and have fun. Take the time to straighten yourself up and heal from the break up.

No, the next girl doesn't necessarily have to be a rebound as long as you've taken all the time you need to heal and become mentally and emotionally ready to be available to another person. Make sure you do not get involved with someone until you are a stronger and wiser man from the experience with your fiance.

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I get upset because I still miss her ( not as often as before ) In the beginning I just thought more about her and the pain of her breaking up with me again. But when I don't think of her I think of her son more now then when she broke up with me 11 weeks ago. I miss him a lot and I do worry about him and even her. (If you don't know my hole story please read my other question) and I guess you are rite, Until I'm healtier.And shouldn't worry about a new girl. I guess I miss someone to the holding of hands, hugs, kisses and knowing someone is their for you (At least I thought I did) I guess I'm worried I won't meet someone.

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I guess I miss someone to the holding of hands, hugs, kisses and knowing someone is their for you (At least I thought I did) I guess I'm worried I won't meet someone.

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Just by you knowing this, you have crossed the threshold of reality, and I think your going to be okay in time.

I'm writing this info now to let other people know what type of person my Ex really was. I'm not doing this to bash her, but to let people with similer problems know and to see if the person their with is the one they want to be with.And I'm not putting all the blame on her, because I did do things to make her mad.But not that bad to be treated like this.

Let me start by saying, My Ex is a very good mother, volantered her time to others and I want to say she loved me. And we did respected each other enough not to cheat on each other at least I hope she never did. But I know now this relationship would never have lasted or our marrige if we stayed together. In the beginning of my relationship everybody liked her but within a 6 months peoples opinion started to change. I didn't want to her it. She would brag to my friends what she had and bought. She even told them she took $8000.00 out of her 401K to build her deck. Bragged to me and everybody she's been to 12 islands just always bragging about money that she did not have.(charged everything)She was very boesy to me, her son and sometimes to others. Didn't like the word no. Couple of years ago work was very slow and worked about 7 days in 2 months. So I'm building her balcony and spending money I didn't have on it(mics bolts etc) After I was finished she said good job, where are you taking me for dinner. I told her no where, I have bills to pay and one of her expensive dinners just wasn't in my budget. She started yelling at me because I said NO. I sweated my but off for a couple of weeks on the deck, hooking up lights on deck and misc stuff around her house and didn't even offer to take me out to dinner. She bought dinner maybe 2 times and made it 5-6 times. Said I would get an $50 week allowance when we get married. Between both of us we would have made about $170,000 plus a year. Demanded when married $1200 + jewellery for B-DAy's and spending on what ever she wanted for her and son she bought him what ever he wanted. Said that how she thinks people love her when you spend money on her or son. So very High maintenance. Never did anything for me,never. I had back problems, 4 disks out on top 5 on bottom(in pain) drop foot, could hardly walk sometimes. When I told her that she said who's going to cut my grass now. And would yell at me because their was a waiting list to see Dr. Get in their and get better she would say. I think so I could continue to work on house, cut grass etc. So you can tell by this she was Only thinking of herself and son. Told me I should be buying stuff for her and son all the time. Very selfish person. Rite before breakup, and when she got her boob job she wanted these expansive photos of her taken to give to her son and friends didn't mention me.She could have said how about the 3 of us get a picture together but no just her. And never had any pics of me in her house hanging. Only wanted to make love when she felt like it most of time I would have to beg. And when we did she would say forgot how good that feels and we need to do this more often. When we first started dating she said I would have to get a second job. And rite up to breakup she needs 2 incomes to survive. She wanted the $600,000.00 house, Elxus convertible, jewelry, trips, everything. Said she deserves the best. Told me that she will be driving my 30th annvirsary TA to train station. When I told her no she flipped out on that. But when I told her friends this they would say are you crazy. Then she would say I was kidding. As far as new house all I wanted to decorate was garage and basement, said no tools in garage just cars and she would help in the process of how the basement will look like. Would never listnen to me. Always thought her way was the best way. She was controlling to me and son, forgetful, only called when she wanted something or something done. Woulds swear in front of her son all time( bad words) Spoiled her son, and she put him in every sport possible. Some of them he didn't want to do. Like swimming he wanted out of. She said its not a f*****g option. That how your going to get a scholarship. She would plan hole summer out and would never ask if I wanted to do something. Inconsiderate. Would be appalled that I said no or wouldn't do that for her. First 2 months of us dating she would complain to her friends that she couldn't believe I didn't cut her grass for her. She told me she was the princess and get what she wants. She admits she will probably never find anyone worth dating. And I do believe her. She wants a man with good looks to show off to her friends. Which she did with me. And money. I did everything she ask me to do and more gave her money when she needed it, I'm the type who can build or fix anything(cars,wood working,plumbing, electrical HVAC you name it. So I was her handyman sort of speak. I never excluded her son out of anything. The 3 of us usually did everything together.She is a very picky person when it comes to guys. So deep down in side, I don't know when, but I think again she will realize how good she had it and try to sneak back into my life again. But I will never let her in again she had to many chances. These are some stories of what I had to go through and thiers a lot more. I should write a book.

Finally, I realize now I did want to spend the rest of my life with her. But was scared to marry her because maybe deep down inside I knew she would bankrupt me and make my life hell. Like I said I did do things to hurt her. She would always say you would miss me and her son if I broke up with them, but she did all the breaking up.(insecure I guess)We both had communication problems between the both of us. And if I wanted this to work I probably could have if we would have spent more time together and talked about our problems we had with each other. But I guess after I writing this hole post I guess she never loved me and we just weren't meant to be. The past year I would rather stay at my house and do nothing then spend time with her. I was afraid to say something to her because I was tired of her B*******G at me all the time, only came over or called when wanted something. It's been a long 5 years for me, we didn't always fight we had a lot of great times together. How I feel rite now is hate her and don't ever want to see her ever again for cutting my heart up again. Then at the same time I miss and love her and her son very much. And I still say to myself what happened. And I know I can never take her back but sometime hope she comes back to me and we hug and everything will be OK again. But I know that is just a fairy tail and this is reality. She believes life is a fairy tail. Them and I know they will always have a place in my heart but the one thing I can't comperhand is I may never see them ever again and it does scare me but I know it is for the best. So for any one out their who has any doubt or similier problems think long and hard before you spend time on a relationship that was never meant to be.

Do the dreams I have every night of her will they ever go away or will I always have this problem.

She is always on your mind. That's why you dream about her.
Distract yourself and give yourself the chance to heal and get over her.
A good place for ideas:
https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...kup-78597.html

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Originally Posted by SAB123

Do the dreams I have every night of her will they ever go away or will I always have this problem.

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Read a book for 30 minutes or longer before you go to bed. The thoughts of the book will be the last thing you remember before going to bed and what you'll think about when your sleeping. That's actually an old studying trick that I used to use in college and it worked wonders for my retention of information.

I still think about her when alone but this break up when out with friends I can get my mind off her a lot better this time then the other 6 breakups she did to me. This is my first true love. I know its different for each person, but how long does it usually take to move on and not think of them as much and when you were over Ex did you ever think about that person when you were with new person in life. I know it's to soon for me to start dating but I want to get her out of my mind and heart so bad to move on.

It takes time and there is no way around that. But you can be enjoying yourself while you heal. Half the fun is exploring new things to do and people to see.

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Originally Posted by hair2007

yeah its always about them!!!always.. i can see that now more so that im looking in the window, try not to think about the things she has said, it will make u crazy..i it does it to me.
i think i hold the record for getting back and fourth with my ex, only he says hes commitment phobic, yet we were married to..lol.. its all about them and how they are feeling that day. thats not worth it, id rather b single...

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If she does try to contact me in the future should I even bother with her just because of the way she used me.