Ask Me Help Desk - I don't think he's really attracted to me. And time goes on, so now what do I do?

I don't think he's really attracted to me. And time goes on, so now what do I do?

If he doesn't compliment me or tell me I'm beautiful& checks out other girls.. Wat does that mean..

...Merged Threads...

Then he probably doesn't like you...

OR

He does like you he just either is afraid to say something or wants to see if you'd be jealous looking if he starts checking out other girls

This is all I can think of :)

Hope I helped

Quote:

Originally Posted by onceinalifetime

Then he probably doesnt like you..............

OR

he does like you he just either is afraid to say something or wants to see if you'd be jealous looking if he starts checking out other girls

this is all i can think of :)

hope i helped

I've been with him for more than a yr now & I'm pregnant ,now iiwant the attention ,iidont get it:( anything iican do.. & he knows iiget jelleous ,it turns into fight so y he still doing it

Quote:

Originally Posted by alice26

I've been with him for more than a yr now & I'm prego ,now iiwant the attention ,iidont get it:( anything iican do..& he knows iiget jelleous ,it turns into fight so y he still doing it

Hmmm... is it his child?

Some people speak via their actions better than they do their words. They may not give out a compliment, but they'll express their affection through behavior. Ask yourself how his behavior makes you feel.

Quote:

Originally Posted by onceinalifetime

hmmm...........is it his child?

Yes our first child,. like iihear it frm everyone else that iilook pretty& stuff bt not him,iiwana hear it frm him.

Quote:

Originally Posted by alice26

Yes our first child,..like iihear it frm everyone else that iilook pretty& stuff bt not him,iiwana hear it frm him.

According to your other thread, you are a virgin.

Quote:

Originally Posted by alice26

Yes our first child,..like iihear it frm everyone else that iilook pretty& stuff bt not him,iiwana hear it frm him.

Now we are getting somewhere

Maybe he's not complimenting because he has a lot on his mind like you and the baby... (its sounds stupid I know but this happens) and with him acting like this it can also lead him to do stupid things like talking to other women etc...

Im sure he'll turn up someday and say "Baby, has anyone ever told you of how beautiful you are?" or something like that :)

Men can do stupid things... including something like this

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

According to your other thread, you are a virgin.

Erm?? How is that possible to think that? She said she was pregnant?

Quote:

Originally Posted by onceinalifetime

erm???? how is that possible to think that? she said she was prego?

Sorry. Meant to write like a virgin!

I changed the title -- make sure it's okay now.

Quote:

Originally Posted by alice26

Sorry. Ment to write like a virgin!

OK yeah but... lots of people write like they are virgins but aren't -__-

Quote:

Originally Posted by onceinalifetime

now we are getting somewhere

maybe he's not complimenting because he has alot on his mind like you and the baby...(its sounds stupid i know but this happens) and with him acting like this it can also lead him to do stupid things like talking to other women etc...

Im sure he'll turn up someday and say "Baby, has anyone ever told you of how beautiful you are?" or something like that :)

Men can do stupid things....including something like this

He only told meh once iiwas beautiful,on our annervesery.. & yeah iialready tink his talking to other women.that's my biggest fear to b cheated on

Quote:

Originally Posted by alice26

he only told meh once iiwas beautiful,on our annervesery..& yeah iialready tink his talkin to other women.that's my biggest fear to b cheated on

Well if he told you once I'm sure he'll say it again! :D

And don't be afraid of something like that... dont even think about something like that.. NEVER think negative

Quote:

Originally Posted by 8track

Some people speak via their actions better than they do their words. They may not give out a compliment, but they'll express their affection through behavior. Ask yourself how his behavior makes you feel.

.. 8track iim confused ,he will b lovey
Dovey bt check out other girls.. one big reason iicant bring him around friends & ext

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

I changed the title -- make sure it's okay now.

K thanks I'm new didn't know how to chAnge:)

Quote:

Originally Posted by onceinalifetime

ok yeah but.........lots of ppl write like they are virgins but arent -__-

Ohh y no point off that..

Quote:

Originally Posted by onceinalifetime

well if he told you once im sure he'll say it again! :D

and dont be afraid of something like that....dont even think about something like that..NEVER think negative

thank yuh iiwill try to b positive its hard:)

Quote:

Originally Posted by alice26

thank yuh iiwill try to b positive its jst hard:)

The bigger you get with this pregnancy, the more insecure you will feel. STOP!! He is with you and loves you.

What in your history makes you so insecure?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

The bigger you get with this pregnancy, the more insecure you will feel. STOP!!!! He is with you and loves you.

What in your history makes you so insecure?

.. iidont know ,iiseen all myy friends heartbroken,cheated on so that's the reason iinever had a boyfriend,iim 22 now ,I'ts myy first long real relationship.. iiguess iim just scared to get heartbroken.

Quote:

Originally Posted by alice26

..iidont know ,iiseen all myy friends heartbroken,cheated on so that's the reason iinever had a boyfriend,iim 22 now ,I'ts myy first long real relationship..iiguess iim just scared to get heartbroken.

It sounds dumb ,iidont know y, iim like this

Quote:

Originally Posted by alice26

It sounds dumb ,iidont know y, iim like this

Well, stop being like this.

How can you act so you don't drive him away?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Well, stop being like this.

How can you act so you don't drive him away?

By stopp thinking that all the time.

Quote:

Originally Posted by alice26

By stopp thinking that all the time.?

And how are you going to behave?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

And how are you going to behave?

... yuh tink iido have a problem? iikno he loves meh,he told meh yesterday iilove yuh& iidont want too loose yuh out off no where, & iitold him yuh won't loose meh ,just iff yuh cheat on meh yuh will& he just stood quite,. its the little ting he does that make meh insicure... he didn't say like no iiwont cheat on yuh or hurt yuh,.

Quote:

Originally Posted by alice26

...yuh tink iido have a problem?.iikno he loves meh,he told meh yesterday iilove yuh& iidont want too loose yuh out off no where, & iitold him yuh won't loose meh ,just iff yuh cheat on meh yuh will& he just stood quite,..its the lil ting he does that make meh insicure...he didn't say like no iiwont cheat on yuh or hurt yuh, ..

You're going to have to write in English. Your texting is impossible to read, and a mod is going to kick you off soon if this doesn't improve.

Meanwhile, answer my question (in good English, like a teacher is checking it).

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

You're going to have to write in English. Your texting is impossible to read, and a mod is going to kick you off soon if this doesn't improve.

Meanwhile, answer my question (in good English, like a teacher is checking it).

... sorry not use to this obviously! I don't known how to behave when his checking other girls out,just ignore it?

Quote:

Originally Posted by alice26

....sorry not use to this obviously! I dont known how to behave when his checking other girls out,just ignore it?

Ignore...

But if it gets TOO serious... step up for you and your baby

And throw in your own two cents -- "I love her purple knit top! I want one like that!" or ""Is that a tattoo on her arm?" or some such. Make it a fun thing to pick apart (nicely) other females.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

And throw in your own two cents -- "I love her purple knit top! I want one like that!" or ""Is that a tattoo on her arm?" or some such. Make it a fun thing to pick apart (nicely) other females.

.. yuh tink that make him stop..

Quote:

Originally Posted by alice26

..yuh tink that make him stop..

At least he won't feel he has to be sneaky (if he is), and you two can make a game of it. And it will show him you aren't jealous.

Try asking him not to do it in front of you, at the very least. Especially since you're pregnant it's easy to feel insecure. Tell him it will help you out if he at least shows you the decency of holding back this behavior when you're around. Tell him you don't need this extra stress.

Edit: and this is just the way I deal with things, but don't be afraid that he's going to cheat on you. If he does, f##k him, you don't need him. If he doesn't, then that's great. But don't live in fear of it. You'll come off as more independent.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mercurian

Try asking him not to do it in front of you, at the very least. Especially since you're pregnant it's easy to feel insecure. Tell him it will help you out if he at least shows you the decency of holding back this behavior when you're around. Tell him you don't need this extra stress.

Edit: and this is just the way I deal with things, but don't be afraid that he's gonna cheat on you. If he does, f##k him, you don't need him. If he doesn't, then that's great. But don't live in fear of it. You'll come off as more independent.

.. iitried that being funny about it,bt iistill seem to get hurt sumetimes,he will do it to myy friends& sister.. idk iff this is normal for guys to do or he has a prob & Will tell him that,before my babyshower,because teir will be a lot of girls.

So is teir sumething I can do to make him compliment me of its always going to b like this:\

How to built trust when there is no trust

Its too late too leave myy boyfriend now ,I love him ,we are expecteing ,but what sad& worries me is that teir is no trust,I wonder if this relationship will ever work.I don't want it to end.I want to fix it but don't know how.he doesn't tink its fair I can talk to my guy friends & he can't talk to his girlfriend.. the difference between us ,he's a flirt& I'm not.I have found that girls he just Kalled friends,he slept with or liked so this is why iicant trust him talking to girls.. Wat to do from here?

It's a tough one. Have you sat down and told him exactly how you feel? One of the biggest problems in relationships is lack of communication and being too scared to say what's on your mind. Especially with a baby coming you need to make sure your relationship is on track. Also stress etc isn't good for you. If he truly loves you he will listen to what you say. You may find he has big insecurities of his own.

Good luck.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gdav16

Its a tough one. Have you sat down and told him exactly how you feel? One of the biggest problems in relationships is lack of communication and being too scared to say whats on your mind. Especially with a baby coming you need to make sure your relationship is on track. Also stress etc isnt good for you. If he truly loves you he will listen to what you say. you may find he has big insecurities of his own.

Good luck.

Yes we end up arguing,he says I always bring old but its not just old .because that's what made me not trust him,I want to trust him ,I don't want to live like this no more:\

Its so hard. How old are you guys? You should consider maybe some relationahip counselling if you are sure that you want to continue in the relationship.

You think it's OK to talk to your men friends and it's not OK for him to talk to women friends because he will SLEEP with them?
That's not how it works. No one gets to make rules. You are not his parent and he is not your child. You tell him how you feel, and if he keeps doing what you don't like, you leave him, baby on the way or not. How is this 'love?'

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gdav16

Its so hard. How old are you guys? you should consider maybe some relationahip counselling if you are sure that you want to continue in the relationship.

We are 22,going to be 23 on Feb ,the both are pieces,we moved in fast in our relationship,went from homless & ended up in our toes .we have been threew a lot ,he is my first love maybe that's y I won't leave& I bealive we can fix it ,OK should I start the trust by letting him talk to his old "friends " then
The love he shows ,then again he never wants to get married.& I do

Alice, you don't 'let' an adult do something. The beginning of trust is seeing what is and being OK with it - and if not, then there's no trust. If you find out that he is too friendly with his female friends, you leave him, no matter how tough, and even if you have to go into a shelter again, with a baby. You can tell him that if he cheats that's what will happen, but don't do it while you are fighting. Just to let him know he doesn't have unconditional love.

Quote:

Originally Posted by joypulv

alice, you don't 'let' an adult do something. The beginning of trust is seeing what is and being OK with it - and if not, then there's no trust. If you find out that he is too friendly with his female friends, you leave him, no matter how tough, and even if you have to go into a shelter again, with a baby. You can tell him that if he cheats that's what will happen, but don't do it while you are fighting. Just to let him know he doesn't have unconditional love.

Yeah that's the prob ,his too friendly,I can't even bring him around my friends,he says he always been like that though,that his talkitive & likes to meet new people ,if I had known he was a flirt I would have not stayed that's how much I don't trust him,& what do you mean he doesn't have unconditional love? Ohh other ting I had sumwere to go ,he didn't& I stood by him& help him

I meant that you need to let him know that even though you have a baby, you'll leave in a heartbeat if he strays.

There's a difference between being talkative/meeting new people and flirting.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

There's a difference between being talkative/meeting new people and flirting.

Ok thanks.. its just hard ,I'm new to all this & sumetimes don't know what to do or Handle it ,I'm glad I found this site:).. another ?s if his a flirt does that make him a cheater?

Quote:

Originally Posted by alice26

Ok thanks..its just hard ,I'm new to all this & sumetimes don't know wat to do or Handle it ,I'm glad I found this site:)..another ?s if his a flirt does that make him a cheater?

No, a flirt is not a cheater. It means he's easy going around people and knows how to tease and put people, especially women, at ease.

My dad was great with people and somewhat of a flirt. My mom was shy, terrified of people, and hid in the kitchen. I'm like my dad in that I have never met a person I didn't want to get to know better (even the dysfunctional ones), whereas my husband is happiest when everyone leaves him alone.

Actually, those two types are opposites but also good matches.