Ask Me Help Desk - Is it possible to find only one person beautiful

Is it possible to find only one person beautiful

He never looks at other women or comment.He's been saying this for 5 years from the beginning of our affair.There are people out there like him .I've searched a lot. Those have forums and there is a term for it.There is no proof of he's lying.. he tried to convince me a million times.He has sworn in every way.His friends and my relatives know the issue and believe him.But I can't. I know there are people out there and it gives me a relief but I can't trust him because he's a male. Even I found some males feeling this way... Why am I so bothered with that?Cause I feel the same way.He is the only handsome man for me.He says you're the only beautiful woman for me. I know my feelings so there is no doubt of myself.but my only proof about him is his words and behaviours. I can't get inside his head to learn if he's telling the truth and it's eating me. Help me please.Please don't talk about human nature. I feel no attraction towards other men,I'm sure of it. If it happens to me,and as I said I found people experiencing it like me-male and female-,it is possible. But the problem is it seems to me it's not possible for my husband.Even I believe the other males saying this on the net. They complain about their girlfriend's finding other guys attractive, but they don't do it so they feel frustrated and disappointed.

My husband doesn't look at other women or comment. I trust him totally.

Why are you so untrusting?

So do you believe he finds no other women attractive or just accept that he finds others attractive but never comments or looks because of respect?

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Originally Posted by Wondergirl

My husband doesn't look at other women or comment. I trust him totally.

Why are you so untrusting?

So you believe he finds no other attractive or just acting like this because of respect?

I'm sure he will notice if a woman is attractive, but his idea of attractive is not my idea of attractive. If she is fat and ugly but has long thick shiny hair, he thinks she is attractive. (He loves long hair.) And he doesn't worry if I might find some guy attractive. Neither of us puts blinders or a mask on the other.

Why are you so concerned about this?

The problem is if he said he finds others attractive,I would be disappointed but accept it.But he never says something like that.He gets mad when I call him a liar. I need to trust what he is saying.

Do you notice other men and find some attractive?

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Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Do you notice other men and find some attractive?

No never.thats why it bothers me a lot

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Originally Posted by shivamirage

No never.thats why it bothers me a lot

I'm sorry, but I don't believe you. If you don't find other men or women attractive, you have no eyes and no soul.

I don't care you believe or not. There are many people out there like me.I have searched a lot.I found both males and females.there is a term for it.but if you don't believe you can't help.thanks anyway

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Originally Posted by shivamirage

I dont care you believe or not. There are many people out there like me.i have searched a lot.i found both males and females.there is a term for it.but if you dont believe you can't help.thanks anyway

Please stop lying to yourself. You do not have to pant and fall all over a male slobbering on him in order to notice he is attractive. It can be just an instant, "Oh, he's handsome." If you don't have such instant thoughts, you are dead.

If I showed you photos of two men, one fat and bald and pockmarked in unmatched sloppy clothing and the other muscular and in a nice suit and well-groomed, would your eyes linger on one or the other, and would you have an opinion?

Something like that happens to me a lot. They say this guy is handsome point him and I say which guy.. I can't see attractiveness in men. I register ugliness sometimes but others are regular guy for me.I have been in this way for a long time and there is no nede for denial.in fact if I have felt differently, it is sure easier to accept so there would be nothing to worry.

Noticing each other is what we humans do -- and often there is a judgment attached to our noticing -- that child is well behaved (or not), that teenager is sloppy looking, that young woman needs to scrape off some of her makeup, that heavyset old man needs suspenders, that priest looks very official in his robes, that starlet is gorgeous and talented and has a great future, etc. Recognizing cuteness and beauty, and yes, ugliness, is part of it all. And our observations flow into when we look at animals and buildings and cars and virtually anything we see. It's just part of our humanity.

So if your man notices another woman is attractive, whether he comments on it to you, you decide he no longer loves you?

Not the part of my humanity.I didn't say I find nothing or no one attractive.I just don't find men attractive.it shuts off when I'm in an affair.

As I said before, if he told me that I would accept it but feel bad.
But he never says something like that and he swears in every way he is telling the truth.it bothers me not to believe him after everything he did and said.

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Originally Posted by shivamirage

Not the part of my humanity.i didnt say i find nothing or noone attractive.i just dont find men attractive.it shuts off when i'm in an affair.

So you walk around with your eyes looking at the ground? You can still consider another man attractive. That doesn't say you are being unfaithful to your partner.

So if your man notices another woman is attractive, whether he comments on it to you, you decide he no longer loves you?

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Originally Posted by Wondergirl

So you walk around with your eyes looking at the ground? You can still consider another man attractive. That doesn't say you are being unfaithful to your partner.

So if your man notices another woman is attractive, whether or not he comments on it to you, you decide he no longer loves you?

As I said before, if he told me that I would accept it but feel bad.
But he never says something like that and he swears in every way he is telling the truth.it bothers me not to believe him after everything he did and said.

Why would you feel bad?

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Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Why would you feel bad?

Cause I don't do it.It is like cheating for me. But I would accept it if he said it.But the problem is he's not.he did everything to convince me he's not lying. One thing inside me says if somebody is lying he doesn't put much effort to prove that he isn't lying. Only a person who is honest does his best to convince his partner.he says the same."if I had thoughts like that,I would say them to you and drop the subject.it would become totally your problem to accept it,but I don't lie."he says that "It is also my problem now caause I don't want you to think non-existing things about me,I am not that kind of person."

It's not cheating.

If he admitted it, you would have a fit. He knows how insecure you are. So he lies.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

It's not cheating.

If he admitted it, you would have a fit. He knows how insecure you are. So he lies.

"I don't really care for the looks of other women apart from my girlfriend. I don't watch TV or films and go mmmmmmm she's nice, or even think it. I don't eye up girls in the street and think i would if i was single or anything like that.
From what i've read from other people. I seem to be the only othere person like this. The reason i ask is because my girlfriend does do and think these things. It makes me think she can't possibly love me as much as i love her.When i ask her though she says she just fancies me and no one else not even film stars etc.
Does anyone else not care for other women?
What reason if any makes you think she could love me as much?
Thank you"
"As a husband myself I can say that it's easy to avoid seeing other women in terms of attractiveness once you've found someone you love."
"There actually is a form of sexual orientation where a person will find only one other person attractive and beautiful. So it's entirely possible."
"Yes, I've experienced that. You could have shown me a fully nude woman, and I wouldn't have cared. In fact there was a movie in which that was the case, and for me it was like looking at a fully nude woman, and there was no desire what so ever, towards that woman. Also, I didn't care to look around and if I saw one, even if by today's standards she was very beautiful, to me she was just normal."
"It's possible.
I've been in relationships that literally blinded me to the concept that other people could be seen as attractive."
"I don't find traditionaly beautiful women attractive but only my girlfriend. Whats so wrong with that?"

These are the words of some other people on the net.They're males.If you were experiencing the same situation as me,you would probably unable to decide whether he is lying or no.But you aren't me,so it is hard for you think like me.You have your own beliefs of what is what,you are unable to look at the world in different glasses.That's why you can not help me. I'm not insecure.I just expect him to do what I am doing for him.

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Originally Posted by Wondergirl

It's not cheating.

If he admitted it, you would have a fit. He knows how insecure you are. So he lies.

And I am not looking to the ground or when watching TV I don't look

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Originally Posted by shivamirage

And i am not looking to the ground or when watching tv i don't look away.

I am just thinking nothing.when I see a man, I understand the points that can be attractive for other women cause I know current standarts of beauty.but there standarts mean nothing to me.I don't find any other men apart from my husband attractive.thats the honest truth.you don't believe and I don't blade you.you are a woman living with normal.I am abnormal when.sorry.

Quote:

Originally Posted by shivamirage

I am just thinking nothing.when i see a man, i understand the points that can be attractive for other women cause i know current standarts of beauty.but there standarts mean nothing to me.i dont find any other men apart from my husband attractive.thats the honest truth.you dont believe and i dont blade you.you are a woman living with normal.i am abnormal when.sorry.

How do you know he is attractive if you have nothing to compare him with?

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Originally Posted by Wondergirl

How do you know he is attractive if you have nothing to compare him with?

My husband is attractive in my eyes.maybe he can be the ugliest man in the world for others.

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Originally Posted by shivamirage

My husband is attractive in my eyes.maybe he can be the ugliest man in the world for others.

What qualities make him attractive to you?

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Originally Posted by Wondergirl

What qualities make him attractive to you?

His way of looking, his body... I don't know I have never thought about it.but at the very beginning, I wasn't feeling this way.I liked him, we started a relationship and then I fell in love with him and the other attractive men turned into regular guys. Maybe I have chosen him with some criteria but I wasn't in love then.now if I had a criteria in the past I doesn't mean anything.my criteria of beauty is my husband now.he gained weight, he changed but my opinion don't change even if people call fat people ugly.

So you are concerned only with physical appearance and call it attractiveness? Personality and character don't count?

Why are you this way? Is it something in your background/childhood or perhaps your religion that keeps your eyes focused on the ground?

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Originally Posted by Wondergirl

So you are concerned only with physical appearance and call it attractiveness? Personality and character don't count?

Why are you this way? Is it something in your background/childhood or perhaps your religion that keeps your eyes focused on the ground?

Its not physical attractiveness of course but my topic is about physical attractiveness so I thought you only mean it. There is nothing about religion childhood etc.I have always been in this way

Quote:

Originally Posted by shivamirage

Its not physical attractiveness of course but my topic is about physical attractiveness so i thought you only mean it. There is nothing about religion childhood etc.i have always been in this way

I got blind in a love relationship.since I was 13.

What point are you trying to come?you find it abnormal so you don't believe it and trying to make me accept the truth.the truth you believe of course.there is no truth for me in these kinds of subjects.do you know demisexuality, or demi aesthetes? Im sure you don't.but these people exist, not believing is only your choice.or maybe

Quote:

Originally Posted by shivamirage

What point are you trying to come?you find it abnormal so you dont believe it and trying to make me accept the truth.the truth you believe of course.there is no truth for me in these kinds of subjects.do you know demisexuality, or demi aesthetes? Im sure you dont.but these people exist, not believing is only your choice.or maybe

Why are you so sure I don't know?

What point were you trying to make by posting your question in the first place?

When I talk this issue with my sister, she feels insecure because her husband isn't like that.she is forcing me to confess like you but there's nothing to confess.

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Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Why are you so sure I don't know?

What point were you trying to make by posting your question in the first place?

I first tried to find a person who understands me not denies me.butif you don't believe how can you help me? And I thougt if you knew demisexuality you would understand me.

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Originally Posted by shivamirage

I first tried to find a person who understands me not denies me.butif you dont believe how can you help me? And i thougt if you knew demisexuality you would understand me.

I didn't say I don't believe. I just find it very unusual and wondered if you were telling the truth.

What help do you need?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

I didn't say I don't believe. I just find it very unusual and wondered if you were telling the truth.

What help do you need?

When I am trying to tell you how I feel, my husband came in front of my eyes.he did more effort to convince me than I am doing to convince you now.if you don't lie and people tell you all the time that you are lying, how frustrating it is.he feels the same I am sure.
But I just can't believe him cause he is a man.and can you see how insulting it is for him.I am just trying to trust him.if he said he finds others attractive and that's what I believe, I would feel awful but accept.but when I say him "you find others attractive dont tell me you dont.i will accept this truth" he gets totally mad and doesn't talk to me for a while.he says it is the offending thing for him to be called as liar when he doesn't lie.its a difficult situation.

You are pushing him into a corner and forcing him to lie. He is not like you, not a demisexual, so don't expect him to act like you. He is a male who is fully aware of his surroundings and the people in them.

Your standards and behavior are not the same as his. You cannot force him to be like you any more than he can force you to be like he is.

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Originally Posted by Wondergirl

You are pushing him into a corner and forcing him to lie. He is not like you, not a demisexual, so don't expect him to act like you. He is a male who is fully aware of his surroundings and the people in them.

Your standards and behavior are not the same as his. You cannot force him to be like you any more than he can force you to be like he is.

I am not forcing him.its him who says he feels like this from the very beginning.I didn't do anything to force him.I didn't even open the subject he did.

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Originally Posted by shivamirage

I am not forcing him.its him who says he feels like this from the very beginning.i didnt do anything to force him.i didnt even open the subject he did.

You said in your first post, "but I can't trust him because he's a male."

So you are expecting him to be at fault and to disrespect you by looking at another woman and thinking her attractive. You are pushing him into a corner..