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-   -   Confused!! (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=679391)

  • Jul 6, 2012, 01:55 AM
    tweety1987
    Confused!!
    Ok I met this girl on January 1 2011, and we were dating for awhile until we broke up due to the fact I was still flirting with other females. After we broke up she got married within two weeks with a guy which hurted my soul because we were planning on getting married. After I found out she got married I was trying to contact her and made progress.

    She was telling me that she's not happy with her marriage and that's not what she wanted. So we were back and forth with our past relationship. Then she told me that she was getting a divorce and that she still want to be with me. After months went by our relationship just didn't work out and I feel hurt because she led me on thinking we were getting back together. Now she's telling me that she's going to work out her marriage.

    I don't know what to think now. Please give me advice!!
  • Jul 6, 2012, 02:10 AM
    Huggybearza
    Honestly, I would say don't speak to her... she sounds like she doesn't know what she wants and do you want to be some sort of option in her life. Show her you can move on, do your life and most times they see this and they find it intimidating... perhaps things roll on from curiosity

    It doesn't sound like she is very interested in how you feel but time and no contact should prove otherwise.
  • Jul 6, 2012, 02:18 AM
    tweety1987
    Yea I got that from plenty of friends that she don't know what she wants but its hard because she's been constantly saying that she's loves me and that she's wants to be with me but she's hurt by what I've done and she's saying that she's forcing herself to be with this guy for her kids got my mind all ed up!
  • Jul 6, 2012, 02:22 AM
    Huggybearza
    Well sounds like she feels betrayed by you, so she is only doing this to get back at you... I don't think you should let her see that you feel anything... unfortunately it's a gamble & considering where your feelings are at the moment.

    Let her get this out of her system she clearly is making rash decisions and not thinking clearly. It's terrible why people do what they do... even to just get a reaction out of the next person.

    She wants to make you feel bad for flirting but I need you to understand that's not a bad thing you did... its probably your character in anycase... walk with pride and just be the better person here... I don't believe from what you said that you should feel bad.
  • Jul 6, 2012, 02:31 AM
    tweety1987
    Yeah but I do feel bad because there's more to the story which is too personal to disclose over internet but we been back and forth for awhile one minute she says leave her alone and goodbye then when I don't hit her up for a couple of days she wants to hit me back yo talking about she can't let me go she's even in therapy due to our failed relationship every time she hits me up I always give in by responding back to her which I need to learn how to do no matter what she's always got a way of contacting me whether its through phone or internet interactions
  • Jul 6, 2012, 02:42 AM
    Huggybearza
    You have to learn that to heal through this, you have to go "No Contact". The space time will help you will see... you might not see that now but don't give into her. Focus on yourself! That's what is important but once again you might not see that now...

    I just went through a breakup with the love of my life and I'm struggling to keep "No Contact"... I'm on 7 weeks and holding... Try dude it helps in the end, weather it means you get to be with her again or not, don't hold onto any false hope.
  • Jul 6, 2012, 02:46 AM
    LadySam
    She is mixed up and confused herself, continuing contact with her will do no one any good.
    If she is not happy with the choices that she made then let her deal with that on her own, it doesn't give her the right to bring you down.
    She made her choices, they are hers to work through.
  • Jul 6, 2012, 03:07 AM
    tweety1987
    Thanks guys I really appreciate the advice I will take it and use it I feel quite better now!
  • Aug 23, 2012, 02:53 AM
    tweety1987
    Damn its hard yo I never knew love can be this way I tried to avoid her and she keep contacting me is crazy...
  • Aug 23, 2012, 03:56 AM
    C0bra_M3nace
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by tweety1987 View Post
    Damn its hard yo I never knew love can b dis way I tried to avoid her n she jus keep contacting me is crazy......
    Ignore her. She'll get the hint eventually. You won't got anywhere moving on if you contact her.
  • Aug 23, 2012, 03:58 AM
    tweety1987
    It's hard when you don't have nothing to distract yourself frm it
  • Aug 23, 2012, 04:10 AM
    C0bra_M3nace
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by tweety1987 View Post
    It's hard when u dnt have nothing to distract yourself frm it
    Then find something. Moving on is only as hard as you let it be and by doing nothing you're letting it become very hard. You will be the only reason that you're grieving and upset over this. Only you have the power to change your mood, and be happy. Why choose to be sad over this?
  • Aug 23, 2012, 04:14 AM
    tweety1987
    Yea I know its harder when I don't ignore her its crazy Im sick in love ugh I hate this feeling!!
  • Aug 23, 2012, 04:20 AM
    C0bra_M3nace
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by tweety1987 View Post
    Yea I kno its harder when I dnt ignore her its jus crazy Im sick in love ugh I hate dis feeling!!!!!!!
    In time, your love will fade. It won't happen over night. Try and find things to distract yourself. Surround yourself with friends, have a good time. The more you sit, and wander and do nothing, the more your mind travels through those thoughts.
  • Aug 23, 2012, 04:24 AM
    tweety1987
    I know it wnt happen over night its been a yr since we broke up and can't get over her I kind of want her back its ing crazy she be hitting me up telling me that she's not happy wit her marriage and that she want me back but I can't because she still married
  • Aug 23, 2012, 04:37 AM
    C0bra_M3nace
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by tweety1987 View Post
    I kno it wnt happen over night its been a yr since we broke up n can't get over her I kinda want her back its ing crazy she b hitting me up telling me that she's not happy wit her marriage n that she want me back but I can't because she still married
    So stop answering her. Stop letting her contact you and tear you apart. Get the hell off your butt and go do something with your life. Sitting around crying won't make the pain go away. Reminiscing on the past won't bring it to the present. We're not all guaranteed tomorrow, so stop living in the past, enjoy today and plan for the future.
  • Aug 23, 2012, 04:40 AM
    tweety1987
    Yea people are telling me da same thing but all I can say is IMA TRY!
  • Aug 23, 2012, 05:16 AM
    C0bra_M3nace
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by tweety1987 View Post
    Yea ppl r telling me da same thing but all I can say is IMA TRY!
    Trying is the first step!
  • Aug 26, 2012, 11:50 PM
    tweety1987
    What does it mean when someone says stop asking questions just let it play out?
  • Aug 27, 2012, 03:41 PM
    talaniman
    Who said that?
  • Aug 27, 2012, 08:23 PM
    ArmstrongMiller
    Calm down, leave her, and move on. More girls are waiting for you.
  • Aug 28, 2012, 10:08 AM
    tweety1987
    Why does it matter who said it I want to know what it means?
  • Aug 28, 2012, 10:48 AM
    talaniman
    Depends on who said it. If I used such a phrase, then it would mean to let it go, and cease this path of inquiry. Be patient because you have your answers, but can't see it for yourself

    Or there are no easy answers available.
  • Aug 28, 2012, 10:55 AM
    tweety1987
    O OK

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