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How can I believe my boyfriend, without hesitation?
I have been in a relationship for over a year, I found out that he has interest of being with another woman. I am a very jealous person and have compicated our ralationship even more. I need to know how I can get over him and not talk or text him again?
I don't know if you can just forget about him... it ill take time. But to start getting over him you need to try and find somebody new... then don't call him back or text him back... just coompletely drop him from your life... if you really want to
You really need to elaborate more.
What you have said so far, is impossible to answer.
It's hard since I fell in love. I am trying. But till this day he still say his not interested of being with her. But, I know for a fact he is. And he still deny it. I need help!!
His told time time again, how his not dating HER. I would like to believe what he tells. But, my heart says not to. I honestly never ever fall for anyone. Like I have with him. He used to be amazing and giving me all the attention, that a couple in a relationship needs. But, lately I am the one left wondering if what he tells me is TRUE? I want to, since he knows I would settle for what he tells me. He knows I deeply care about him. I think that's where it boils down into. His keeping me around to have a good intimate time, that he is not getting from HER. I can tell you one thing SHE IS NOT the person he expects her to be. I would have been , but he lost all of that. Especially when he started lying to me in which his never than, In a the first 8 months I was with him. I believe all that he tells me. Because I love him. He is losing me, every single day goes bye. Not from seeing him but, from all his effort to make me believe, what he tells me. I spoke to him tonight, I can feel in my heart his with someone. LOVE HURTS! By then it's to late for him to be with me. One thing I will say, I will not share the man I am in-love with anyone. Thank you for reading my horrible experience for the past 3 months. I can forgive but, will never ever again forget... NOT A FAT CHANCE! Unless a lot of BEGGING. As well as my DEMANDS with the relationship.
Coping with respect and, moving on to a new
It's hard to accept the break up,when your in love. Should I give a friend a chance? Should I believe that what he says, is the opposite rather than the truth? I will sleep with another man just to hurt him back. And once that is done there's no coming back... (:
How do i overcome a year relationship
No more fears?? Looking for a better solutions
Fears about what, getting over grief, starting over, what? Better solutions than what? Please tell us more or we are shooting in the dark.
Move on and forget what happen. He was not meant to be with, if he would say what I wanted to hear. Close this book, and open a new one.
I wonder if he cares any?
Just wondering why won't he tell truth? I wonder what his afraid of? I want to believe him, but to jealouse to give him a chance. Why do I feel like he is dating someone else?
Let me tell you something as a man that's been around...Quote:
Originally Posted by lilly701
Several traits in a woman will make me get up and walk away...
Jealousy... and being accused of things without proof. And being accused of telling lies.
Way too many females walking the earth to put up with one that does that.
So your behaviour is likely driving him away little by little and feeding into the paranoia and jealosy that started it.
Just wondering why won't he tell truth? I wonder what his afraid of? I want to believe him, but to jealouse to give him a chance. Why do I feel like he is dating someone else?
I don't even know what you're talking about.Quote:
Originally Posted by lilly701
Who? Why do you think he's afraid? Why do you think he's dating someone?
What?
Because you are insecure and lack self esteem. Be single, work on your problems, seek professional help if you can't seem to overcome these feelings of jealousy, and then you can find someone who you can try to be with.Quote:
Originally Posted by lilly701
I thank you for your opinion! But, I don't have an insecurity problem. I do have a problem with him, making excuse to not get me upset. I may only know him for a year but, I know how we are and how he feels. Not just in bed, but emotionally getting involve with me. Miss him so much. Especially when we hold hands and look at each other with honestly. I love his eyes, I can look right through him.
Quote:
Originally Posted by lilly701
My vote is that you can't look right through him through his eyes or you wouldn't be here, asking about him.
How old are you?
His broken your trust and it may be that you won't rver trust him
I found this site not to long ago? Kind of like it? Lots of gossip and very insecure people in here. Not to mention a few that is similar to my baby's , or deal, with his ex leaving for another man.
First... speaking as a man here... a married oneQuote:
Originally Posted by lilly701
There isn't a breathing man alive that isn't interested in being with another woman... wanting it and actively trying to get it however are not the same thing. It's a choice.
Jealousy IS a form of insecurity... one that's not attractive to most men.
Also accuse him of things without proof... and you are going to ruin the relationship eventually when he gets tired of hearing it.
If you know he wants some one else then you leave him alone and stop this fantasy. And no need to start other threads about the same thing. Thats so confusing,and your posts are confusing enough with random musing all over the place.
Feelings with very little relevant information. This isn't a chat site, or blog, so give all the facts please like your ages, and how you found out he wants some one else, or why you don't believe him when he says he doesn't?
Facts, and information would help us help you, if indeed that's what you want.
All your threads have been merged.
He says I am his girlfriend and his not dating anyone else but me. Should I let go? And, see where this takes us.
I am in love with him. And, would like to believe what he says. Been doing better in our relationship, starting to be patient and learn not to anymore question
Iwant to. But I don't know how. I text him tonight and said we need space to make our relationship grow.Quote:
Originally Posted by teensportychick
Lilly, I still don't read one shred of evidence of what you suspect.
It's good to spend time away from him. But this phrase 'space to make our relationship grow' is hogwash, sorry. Neither party in a relationship gets to announce what will make it grow. You need space to get over him. But you might also need space to find out more about yourself. We still don't know if your fears have any basis in fact or if you are just a very jealous person. Jealousy is a poison that destroys everyone involved. Either trust him or leave him.
I don't want to leave him. I am deeply in love with this guy. I want him to know that I really want to be with him, every day. But, his hesitant to be with me. Because of his pass relationship. His so smart, loving and very kind. He had change my life that's a good sign for me. Sometimes I feel not good enough for him. I am a very jealouse person. I don't have self esteem problem, since I know I can find a date without a problem. I would consider myself pretty enough to find a date. Lol. I am ready to be in a relationship doing what a girlfriend is suppose to do for her man. I find him very sexy. And sex is awesome. But, I want more and to be known his mine and I'm his one and only. Hope this helps, by giving him time to think, if he really wants to be with me. I am very affectionate love little notes and touching saying, that 3 meaningful words. I will do my best not to have any personal contact with him for a couple of week. I am going to wait if he does. If he doesn't, hope by then I am ready to date again. Thanks for your reply.Quote:
Originally Posted by joypulv
An hour ago you said you want to leave him but don't know how. Now you don't want to leave him.
Anyway, I suppose all that is understandable when you are torn between the pain of leaving and the pain of jealousy. It's good that you will try to stay away for a while.
Keep in mind that the jealousy problem will never go away, and can easily get worse as a relationship moves through it's various stages past the romance stage. Even if your absence makes him miss you and make promises of undying love to you only, there's no guarantee that will last.
When it comes to the TRUTH, I won't understand or forgive. I will forget. I will always be romantic to him. But, if he wants to be somebody else, then I totally understand. This is why but my love and time together with him I will miss a lot. I will keep my word, I really like him.Quote:
Originally Posted by joypulv
What is making you question the relationship? If you have no reason to be doubful then why are you?
My heart tills me there is. But I refuse to believe. This why I will not make any contact . He has to show me. And, an effort to make our relationship work.Quote:
Originally Posted by C0bra_M3nace
So just because your 'heart' say's something is up you're not contacting him, you don't have any proof or reason for it? Eventually he will give up if you show no effort in return.
That's the risk I will take. It would be up to him to make contact at this time. If, I don't see an effort, then I will move on.
I gave my so called " boyfriend " an ultimatum 2 days ago. He came over, and stayed for a couple of hours. Maybe less. This is how our relationship has been for 1 year. We never once gone out to eat, or, just to go somewhere together. I know his limited with time. And, he tries. But, my question is, why won't he give me a chance to get to know him. I have a feeling that he might be interested of seeing someone else. If not so, already. I ask him many times, if he is and he gives me the same answer NO. When he was here two days ago. I had put hicky all over him. Frustrated him, because he probably could not go over to see her! I was glad. And if he did surely it was dark for her not to see his hickies. Anyway, I am done and I made my point across. Although, I think about him. Last night he went to band practice, I am sure he went to her house, or she came over his house. He said she's 35 and his 54. It won't last. The only thing for me was, I was emotionally involved. And he wasn't. I am almost sure he was in for the SEX. But, why would he, if he likes being around her? She has a child. And there both going to a divorce. I guess they deserve each other. One thing I can say, is that she will use him for his mani. Should I let them be? I told him I need space. To see what the outcome. Any thoughts of this?
This isn't a relationship, it's a boots call. He might even be married. Besides, and hickies are only cool if you are teenagers.Quote:
Originally Posted by lilly701
I totally agree! But, just to see his reaction. And it paid off. He even ask me, what can he use to make it disappear. It's his belly and a couple in his shoulder. So, it was not where it can be seen, unless he takes his shirt off.Quote:
Originally Posted by smoothy
it's starting to sound that way. Since he has not tried to contact me. Only when he does want sex.Quote:
Originally Posted by smoothy
Yeah, my money is on booty call, AND married.
Sex and getting very emotionally involved before you really know who you are involved with is a disaster waiting to happen. You had the diversion of good sex, now move on to something better.
I don't understand. I care for him! Don't know what to do.Quote:
Originally Posted by smoothy
Walk away... Maybe even run away from him. Assume he is a married and will remain so. Chalk it up to a bad choice and move on... You will get over him. The sooner the better.Quote:
Originally Posted by lilly701
Your ultimatums sound weak at best. You write here as though you have told him to stay away in order to find out how much he cares, but how long have you actually stayed apart with no contact at all? And how long is it going to take to realize that when he never will go out with you, that he doesn't want to be seen in public with you? When are you going to UNDERSTAND what is going on and that caring for him doesn't mean a thing if he doesn't care about you?
This fling (I won't call it a relationship) is completely one-sided. He won't even take you out.
You are a booty call and he is probably married.
You have been used and things will not change. Keep this in the forefront of your mind. Hopefully this will give you the anger and the self respect you need to stay away from this man.
Oh, but we do understand. This is a one sided relationship, and you're the only one with anything invested in it.Quote:
Originally Posted by smoothy
As long as you are wavering back and forth he can (and obviously will) take advantage of you.
He does say he cares, but, his going through a divorce. And he always mentioned time will come. And we well he says. I am trying to understand his point. But at the same time it's hard. He shuts down on me when I flood him with text.Quote:
Originally Posted by joypulv
I do ask him if it is a relationship and he says YES. But, he worries me.Quote:
Originally Posted by Homegirl 50
I am trying but, it's hard. When you fall for someone you think you knew. But, come to find out his a lier.Quote:
Originally Posted by talaniman
Quote:
Originally Posted by lilly701
And this is what confuses me -
By the way, I'd shut down, too, if someone "flooded" me with text messages.
I honestly don't know what you want anyone here to say. You can't make up your mind, you appear to defend him and his action (or non-action), you know he's a liar.
What more do you need? No one here can go to his house and tell him you say it's over.
If you still can't decide tell him you'll see him when his divorce is finalized. You are positive he's getting divorced, right? You've seen the papers?
I think you leave him alone and go about your own business until he handles his. He isn't ready for what you have in mind, and needs a booty call or Friends with Benefits, and this will never work as long as you need more from him than he is willing to give.
You have made him a priority, yet settle for being his option to a troubled marriage(?). Remove yourself completely from this situation, until lthe divorce is a settled reality, not a far away intention.
Few of us can have great sex, and not get emotionally attached, and that goes for men, and women, especially when we are in tough stressful life situations like a failed relationship, divorce, or just being lonely.
We settle for quick fix, easy feel good to get us through those times, and get trapped by them. That doesn't make it wrong, but you have to deal with reality, not just the feel good. Understand?
Hard to let go of the temporary feel good until we realize the price you pay for it in confusion, and disappointment, drama, and conflict. Get out of it, and get away from it.
The heart you save may be your own.
What you said in my defense is so true. I am lonely and when I get home from work I am tired. So, I expect him to be there for me. But, his not. Only when he wants to be. And that if, he wants sex. I realize now that you are most difinetly right. Thank youQuote:
Originally Posted by talaniman
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