Hello,
I need really good advice. We've been together for two years and haven't heard of any marriage plan yet. Im getting impatient because Im turning 32 this year and he, 35. I already want to have a baby. In short, I want to get married already and start our family. But, whenever I raise this topic, he kept on saying he's not yet financially stable. Should I believe him? Do you guys, believe that is the real reason? Im confused and bored and impatient. What shall I do?

Talk to him. If he clams up that it is hard to move forward. I know you have tried, but not getting any results. Have you tried a different approach?

I do not think it is bad for the women to propose, then maybe you will find out exactly where you stand?

Joe

ABSOLUTELY!!

It's your job to get things started.

YOU SHULD know about his finances though. Tell him to explain everything - IF HE Won't then you should not be getting married.

This isn't mind reading. Find out what's going on.

If it's an excuse then move on.

MANY MANY MANY women have proposed!!

Women can propose. Why shouldn't we have some of that fun too? Lol

I do not see any harm in the woman asking the man. Like Joe said, you would definitely know where you stand. He could not straddle the fence on that question.

Best wishes to you!

Thanks so much. But when I tried to talk to him about that, he said he's the guy and he should initiate not me. Well, Filipino culture. Women don't do first moves on things :) Im not sure if until now :)
So, you think he's just creating an alibi?
Im confused if he's telling the truth about financial instability or he's not just sure if he wants to marry me :(

You know what I proposed to ben and 7 years on we are married and have a child and couldn't be happier... What's stopping you asking??
I walked into his place of work with 6 red and 6 white roses and said will you marry me it was a leap yeah mind you I did it all properly and I have no regrets admittedly as with anything there's always that thing in the back of your head that says heck what if they say no...
Good luck sweetheart I wish you luck xxxx

Thanks, JesusHelper, Wildcat and Shygrneyzs!!
And guess what, we've been celibate since October :( Im bored. I feel we lack intimacy. He's so afraid to impregnate me.

Hi CurlyBensWife!
I would love to do the thing you did but, Im afraid of rejection. I am not so confident he would like it because he gave me a hunch that he isn't prepared. Hay.. .

Am glad to hear he is trying to be responsible. If you became pregnant, he might have to decide to be not just the Dad but also the Husband. I am not saying this in a mean way, but he would have to make the deicsion.

How many couples really wait for all the finances to work out? No one would ever get married and have kids! Although I can understand some of what his concern is, he wants to make sure he can provide for you. Is he against you working outside the home?

That is the thing there are some people that always say they have to wait for the finances to be secure, but how many people actually ever have finances secured. You would be waiting forever, no child and no husband just because of money. That is not fair. Is it?

Joe

Hello everyone!
Guess what, Ive tried a different approach this time. I said, "You know what, I wanna have a baby soon. I think Im prepared. Let's make a baby when u come back." (He's leaving the country for 3 weeks). He said:"Hey, are you serious? Are you willing to be a mom now?" And I said, Yeah I am. Well, he just smiled :)
Yes, Shygrneyzs. I am working and not planning to stop. I think if we both combine our income, it will be fine. Just that, his business is not so stable. He still wants to venture into a new one with a good income. Also, he wants to get a house first before we get married. My point is, his parents can lend us one of their houses why can't he take advantage of that like his siblings do?

Hi Joe!
You're absolutely right. I think it's unfair that people don't get married because of money issues. I am a simple girl with simple dream. My own happy family. Two cute kids and a wonderful husband. A nice house would be a bonus :)

Women can totally propose!
It's like the question: can women ask men out?
The answer is YES YES YES!!
Many women have already proposed to men throughout history... make history!! ;)

Have you ever read that book "why men love es", I would take a look, it may help.

You've been with him for 2 years so you should have a pretty good idea of his financial situation, whether he truly is not in a position to take on the responsibility of a wife and chid(ren) or if he just uses that as a red herring to cover up the true reason for his hesitancy. If he is in fact not financially stable then I can certainly appreciate him not making a big move like marriage and family at this time. However, if you think that that's all a cover-up, then it probably is. The title of your thread was "Can women propose?" My answer to you is yes, but he already knows how you feel and that you're ready for marriage and family, so his failure to propose to you is a sign that you need to heed. Maybe it really is for financial reasons and maybe not. If it's not but he keeps insisting that it is then it's not likely that you'll ever find out the true reasons for his reluctance.

Hello there!
This might sound pathetic to others but I just need some tips. Ive asked before if women can propose to men and I loved those answers. On the other hand, I realized what I need is a suggestion on HOW TO MAKE HIM MARRY ME. Because my "style" can't get him. Hope to hear from you, guys.

Thanks! :)

No one can make anyone marry them. Not even a woman who becomes pregnant can "make" the man marry her. The man either marries her because he really does love her or marries out of a sense of responsibility.

You might have to reconsider your relationship and bow out. I know that is a hard decision to make but once you consider the pros and cons of the relationship and what you want to accomplish within the relationship - it will be time to sink or swim, as the saying goes.

I truly wish you all the best. Hope you achieve happiness and that piece of bliss that makes your world complete. Even if it is not with this guy (which I kind of think is not going to happen, but one can have hope). Take care.

Thanks for the sensible advice :) It is indeed true that advise is one thing you already knew but you're just waiting for other people to say it. Thanks! :)

Well yes, since you mention it, it does sound kind of pathetic. Even if you could make him marry you (which you can't), why would you want to be married to someone who had to be forced into it?

Feelings should come from within...

Remember you are special, let him come to you.

I learned years ago that you can't make someone want you.Maybe in time the man will feel different towards you but for now I would not put all my hopes and dreams on hold for him. Make sure you continue on with your life and don't hatch that phone either. Don't chase him as if you are desperate it makes you look to needy and will turn him off fast. Take my advice on this one.

I know from fact and experience you can't make someone do something that they don't want to do.

Now, if you do make him marry you, do you think he would be happy? Do you think this marriage would work?

You make a sandwich, but you don't make someone marry you.

You need an attitude adjustment. Do you really want a mate that you had to "make" marry you? What you want is someone who cares about YOU, who enjoys being with you, sharing your interests and life. That will result in someone wanting to marry you.

Thanks, SCOTT, TINSIGN, TEACHING and others :) Thanks for enligtening me:) Best thing to do for now is just to forget about it.

I see this with a lot of women, and actually some men as well. As a kid they set up a certain age when they would be married by or they find a guy (or girl) and start thinking long term before the other person does. The woman usually fantaizes about how great marriage will be. But the reality is if you have to force someone into something then they aren't going to be happy and the truth is the marriage isn't going to last.

How long have you both been together? What is your desperation to get married?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by rol

How long have you both been together? what is ur desperation to get married?

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Hello, ROL!
We're together for 2 years now. Well, I just want to start a family of my own and I'm not getting any younger. Most of my friends are married already with children and I feel the pressure. Not only because I'm pressured but I really want to have kids already. I want to experience being a mom and a wife. I think, a husband and children would complete me.

Yes, it does sound pathetic. As everybody else already said you can not make somebody marry you. If it is so much trouble. You want a commitement and he does not. Then I think maybe it is actually time to end the relationship. It is sad, but you are not getting want you want out of the relationship he is not giving you a commitment. Time to move on. If you want kids and to be a wife, then maybe you should be patient enough to actually find somebody that wants the same things.

Joe

Hi Joe!
Thanks to your good advice. . But, I just can't end it up with him. He is a good man. Responsible, loyal I may say, he cares a lot about me. And I love him. I feel he loves me too. It's just that, he can't disclose his plans for us yet because he is still unprepared. Though sometimes, he like talking about our future together like husband and wife. . Oh, I don't know. Come what may. I think I just let God do the works. Thanks :)

It should not be just about what he wants or his plans for you. As a couple do you not think that plans should be made together as a team. That is what I am trying to get at here.

Yes, it is best left in Gods hands. Ask him and he will answer, one way or another.

Best of luck and I do hope and pray that your feelings and thoughts of becoming a wife and mother come true one day. No matter who it is with. As long as they treat you right.

Joe

Sweetie, don't you want someone who appreciates YOUR style...
You will never be 100% happy with this man if he's no into you.
I don't mean to sound harsh, but respect yourself by finding a relationship with a man who truly appreciates everything about you... You'll be much happier...

Hi, AkaEtrue!
Thanks! You are absolutely right. :)