Hello I just wondered if anyone could give me some advice on this.

Me and my ex-partner who I have a 2 year old child with split after a 4 year relationship, the split was mutual due to the fact we were no longer in love with each other.

We lived together for 3 years but after trying for a year to work things out we decided she would move out and get her own place which I paid for. We were split for 2 months before she moved so I could get some money together but after 2 weeks of her moving out she slept with someone else on a night out.
A month after this we were texting a lot and decided to meet up on a night and we then slept together, it just felt right.

After sleeping with her we sat down and asked if we had seen anyone else in our break, she was hesitant at first but then said she had slept with someone when she went away for a weekend. I also told her I had met an ex and talked with her but nothing happened, she was very mad that I had seen an ex and said it was worse than her sleeping with a random person what do you think?

We have decided to give this another go as we really love each other but I just keep thinking about this other lad, I have asked her a lot of questions about this witch I wish I didn't, and I know exactly what happened that night. Like everyone we have Facebook and I have seen lots of male friends emailing her asking to go for a drink which she didn't tell me about, we are still single on Facebook and I have asked her to change it but she says not till she is ready, this makes me think she is hiding something and wants people to still think she is single am I mad LOL.

Whoever reads this please let me know what you think about my situation and if it will work out and am I just being paranoid about a stupid things

I don't think it will because what if she righr back and cheats on you again, then how do you feel, ull just be putting your heart on the line, and to me it dsnt sound like a really great relationship if she dsnt show that she wasn't single

I think that that is more drama than it is worth. If she really is going to hold talking to an ex against you after sleeping with someone, why bother? Move on, an ex is an ex for a reason, go no contact and find someone who you can start fresh with.

Thanks for the advise, can I just say its not as easy as just stopping it because we have a child together and I will have to see her everyday, also darkanglexx she didn't cheat as we had split up but it still hurt, after speaking to a lot of friends about this they just said that I should not be bothered what happened when I split up because we where not together but it still makes me para because it was so easy for her to do, last thing sorry in my head if I had the chance to sleep with someone when we were split I would have so maybe I shouldn't be so hypercritical what do you think?

I don't know why you got so upset and I don't know why she did. If you two are going to try and make it work, I suggest you do some couples counseling, or at least learn how to communicate with each other. Set some boundaries, things you won't do while you are together.

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Originally Posted by Homegirl 50

I don't know why you got so upset and I don't know why she did. If you two are going to try and make it work, I suggest you do some couples counseling, or at least learn how to communicate with each other. Set some boundaries, things you won't do while you are together.

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I was upset because it was 2 weeks after she moved out and it made me feel like she didn't respect her self or me but I do really love her and just want it to work for everyone including my daughter but I don't think she would like the counseling idea. Thanks for the input .

Did you ever work through the issues that caused the original break up?
If you two really want this to work you are going to need to learn to communicate with each other. Work through your issues. This breaking up, going back and forth is not going to do any good.

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Originally Posted by Homegirl 50

Did you ever work through the issues that caused the original break up?
If you two really want this to work you are going to need to learn to communicate with each other. Work through your issues. This breaking up, going back and forth is not going to do any good.

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We didn't talk much about it but we did say that we shouldn't have broke up but because we where so close to each other in the relationship and we both felt we didn't have enough space and just recented each other for that, now she has moved out we both have time to do what we like and also see each other. This is going to sound really bad but it all started when my daugter was born because we didn't spend any time together it just fizzeled out so now we knoe this we are trying to make time for each other and also family time, I ffel really bad for saying that because I wouldn't change my daughter for the world.

You two can be parents to your daughter and live in separate places. You need to work through your initial issues. Get reacquainted, date each other. See where things go from there.

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Originally Posted by Homegirl 50

You two can be parents to your daughter and live in separate places. You need to work through your initial issues. Get reacquainted, date each other. See where things go from there.

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And that's exactly what I want to do but I just feel insucure all the time and get worried about her going with someone else I also can't get this other lad she slept with out of my head I just hope this passes

No I don't think you should be so hypocritical bcs there really no reaso to and srry for the confusion of saying she cheated ,n I also agree with home girl about seeing where it goes.from there but girlfriend goes back to being the same way then Ijust think should you try again, bcs after two tries shld be south to aee if it will last

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Originally Posted by cjk888

And thats exactly what i want to do but i just feel insecure all the time and get worried about her going with someone else i also can't get this other lad she slept with out of my head i just hope this passes

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Well living with her is not going to help. What you want to do is keep an eye on her. You two need some couple counseling, or you do to help you get past this if you want this relationship to work.

You ain't going to like this one bit, but get to the court house and set up child support, and go fishing or something away from her and get your head together my young friend. You need to approach this slowly and carefully and not rush back into a complicated situation with a confused head, and a confused person.

A good decision is what you need, so take time to come up with one. You are focused on the wrong thing. The completely wrong thing.

Thanks for all; the advise, this is the first time I have ever joined a site like this and it has really helped, I think that I'm going to try and make things work with my ex and just try and hopefully get past my insucurity, I no at the end of the day we were singew when she slept with this other person so I have no reason to not trust her as she never cheasted before I just think I am reading into things abit too much and maybe need to step back somethimes. Again I really appretiate all the comments and thanks.

hello all,

I have already talked about this once before but would like some more answers please.

after splitting with my ex of 4 years who I lived with and had a beautiful daughter, she slept with someone 2 months after which is 2 weeks after moving out. About 1 month later we both were still finding it hard as we still had to see each other most days and decided we wanted to get back with each other. We had sex that night after both being drunk and after I asked before we do get back together I would like to know if she had been seeing anyone else she was very hesitant but then told me she had slept with someone when she went away for a weekend for which she said sorry straight away, I know when this was and at the time it didn't bother me, she also asked me and I told her I hadn't slept with anyone just met with an ex and spoke to a few different girls but when I told her about my ex she wasn't happy and got mad, she siad I would rather you had slept with some random person then spoke to your ex and it made me feel bad but now all I think about is that she has slept with someone also like an idiot I asked her a lot of questions and details about what happened (wish I didnt) so now all I get is pictures of my now girlfreind having sex with someother lad will this ever go? Its also made me paranoid and now when she goes out all I can think is she is going to do it again. The 4 years we where together she didn't cheat and I know this for a fact but why now do I think this will happen now? Should I stay with her or just leave it? Just to add I really do love her and want to be with her its just hard to think about it.

any input would be helpful thanks.

For me, I did tried stay together for 3 years with my boyfriend. And I knew that day passes, the sparks and romance on each other also passes and problems arises. So my opinion is you should forgot on the she slept with some other stranger on that night thingy as she done it when she is not attached with you and take the opportunity while she is staying outside to patch thing up before she found some others. It is always the easier to patch thing up when both of you are in distance and still single. I think she is still in love with you and that's why she over-react when she knew you met your ex. So there is no harm for trying again to be together. If still can't work, then you'll know what should do. Before ended, Good Luck with another try :)

To add on, I personally regretted never insisted to move out and consider take a break with my ex before I fall into someone else. Which is right now everything is too late for me to mend. I always believe if I insist and give a false alarm to him earlier on, perhaps we're still good together now. So please do not follow my footsteps. At least you do try ;)

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Originally Posted by Disney87

For me, I did tried stay together for 3 years with my bf. And I knew that day passes, the sparks and romance on each other also passes and problems arises. So my opinion is you should forgot on the she slept with some other stranger on that night thingy as she done it when she is not attached with you and take the opportunity while she is staying outside to patch thing up before she found some others. It is always the easier to patch thing up when both of you are in distance and still single. I think she is still in love with you and that's why she over-react when she knew you met your ex. So there is no harm for trying again to be together. If still can't work, then you'll know what should do. Before ended, Good Luck with another try :)

to add on, i personally regretted never insisted to move out and consider take a break with my ex before i fall into someone else. Which is right now everything is too late for me to mend. I always believe if i insist and give a false alarm to him earlier on, perhaps we're still good together now. So please do not follow my footsteps. At least you do try ;)

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Thanks for that comment I think you are right and I really want this to work, it will just take time for me to forget but I'm sure I will (I hope I can) you didn't explain what happened to you well the datails anyway was it the same as what happened with me? I wish we could just delete memories lol but life just isn't that easy.

Sometimes I could really wish I could have lost memories of both of them and let see who is the 1 who will win me back again ;) This is because my ex makes me felt I am more relax and more being myself when with him, however, he is just like another married man who does not care much on the romance, bit selfish I would said and never ever taking my words/complaints into his heart for improvement or at least discussion after together for sometimes. All for what we done are routines and sleep together and no difference with other old married couples. I have to do all the household chores by myself like a maid without his help, he will never help when I carrying lotsa thing unless I voice out, always think of himself 1st than me and always give me promises that seldom delivered which makes it all turn out to be resentment.

I does not want that kind of feel while we're still dating and marriage is far behind from us. Perhaps this is my 1st love as well.. that's why I am quite demanding and always awaiting him to give some romance, caring and more gentleman which he is too insensitive for that. And I have waited for his changes and also improvement when I complain for 4 years which does not shown any result only after break up. Couples month back before I break up with him, I met up a guy and fall in love. Maybe it is because the way he treats me does not same as what my boyfriend did and also did think that this guy might not be the same once he got me. But who cares. Because anyhow without any others, I think my relationship with ex will have no improvement and ended up I will reject him when he proposed in someday. I would rather learn some lesson, mistake and then firm with what I want before getting into commitment like marriage. I just don't want to be another couple who does not know what they want and ended up with divorce. But for what I regret, I should have given him a false alarm before I fall into others which we might now still ended up happily together perhaps.

While for another guy that I am seeing right now, I feel more challenging and intense with him. Which I think for long term, my ex would be the best but for now, this guy probably would be the ideal one.

Unfortunately, I am a similar situation. Though It was somewhere between 3 days, to two weeks after the break up that she did it. She really did think it was the end she said, but she swore she still loved me deeply. She wants me back, and states although it hurt me, she was single and now she knows how it feels "without love" and doesn't want anything to do with that. Though she did state during our break up that she wanted nothing to do with relationships because of school and work and so on and so on. I have been with her for 3 years, and honestly planned to marry her in the future. As the days passed, I have been hurt by the taunting thoughts, but have been trying to bury them. I have talked to her about it, and honest have no intention of leaving her. But currently I have almost slipped into insanity once, and considered suicide several times. Some would say I'm dramatic and I'm just too young (19). But it still hurts nonetheless. I really do want to forgive her, but she doesn't want to tell anyone that is close to us. So I have no input on my situation. She regrets doing it, and suggested maybe I should do it casually with someone to level the playing field. At first I dismissed the idea, but as time goes, I start considering it more and more... I still love her and want to marry her. And I am trying to forgive her, but I don't know what to feel. Am I wrong for being hurt by this? She was single, even if it was a short time.
I'm planning to go to a therapist soon, and after a session, I'll have one with her as well. Maybe that is an idea you two can try as well. Message me if you'd like, It'd be nice to talk to someone else who can relate. >email address removed<

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Originally Posted by theanonymoused

Unfortunately, I am a similar situation. Though It was somewhere between 3 days, to two weeks after the break up that she did it. She really did think it was the end she said, but she swore she still loved me deeply. She wants me back, and states although it hurt me, she was single and now she knows how it feels "without love" and doesn't want anything to do with that. Though she did state during our break up that she wanted nothing to do with relationships because of school and work and so on and so on. I have been with her for 3 years, and honestly planned to marry her in the future. As the days passed, I have been hurt by the taunting thoughts, but have been trying to bury them. I have talked to her about it, and honest have no intention of leaving her. But currently I have almost slipped into insanity once, and considered suicide several times. Some would say I'm dramatic and I'm just too young (19). But it still hurts nonetheless. I really do want to forgive her, but she doesn't want to tell anyone that is close to us. So i have no input on my situation. She regrets doing it, and suggested maybe i should do it casually with someone to level the playing field. At first i dismissed the idea, but as time goes, i start considering it more and more... I still love her and want to marry her. And I am trying to forgive her, but i don't know what to feel. Am i wrong for being hurt by this? She was single, even if it was a short time.
I'm planning to go to a therapist soon, and after a session, I'll have one with her as well. Maybe that is an idea you two can try as well. Message me if you'd like, It'd be nice to talk to someone else who can relate. >email address removed<

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Hello theanonymoused.

I am 24 and was with my girlfriend for 4 years but the only difference is we have a daughter together, I think if we didn't and this happened then I would just leave it and never talk to her again even though I do love her, but because I still have to see her a lot because I love seeing my daughter I want to try and make it work and I do still love her. It's been 2/3 months now and it's starting to feel a little better but it still really hurts to think about it, the worst part is once we were having sex and it popped into my head that she was with someone else not long ago and made me not want to have sex lol, I have thought a lot about getting even but we are together now and test would just be cheating and she said to me she couldn't be with me if I did that so in a way that is good because she can't bare the thought of me bring with someone else. I think it's strange that your girlfriend would say you can do it but she might just be saying it because she knows you won't plus it's harder for guys to just go and do it then girls, what ever you do mate don't ask her about it no details I made that mistake and now it's harder to get out my head we must move on. Here's something that helped me abit, try writing a letter on your computer to her just put how you feel put bad stuff and good stuff about her in mine I even wrote your just a slut lol but also how nice she is when we are together. Don't send it just when ever you think about it go back and write some more then something good you like about her it's help a lot I promice.

I think the letter is a great idea. I've done something like that for our past break up. Kind of like a journal entry. As for details, I already know them all. She was hiding too much from the start, and once she started revealing the truths, I wanted to know them all so that they each wouldn't pop up in the future. Honestly, the details do add some realism to the picture in my mind, but they also have diminished the other man's standing in my mind immensely. He seems less of a threat, and if anything it was the worst moment in her life. Though, whether I know the details or not, I still know it happened. I'm glad she told me, cause if she didn't, every time I say "I'm glad you waited for me like i did for you." or "at least you didn't bang someone else while we were apart, that shows you loved me still." she would break down and go into a shell. It's a very sensitive topic, and though I know I will never forget it, right now, she is with me. She has never cheated on me, and admits this as a mistake. If possible I really want to keep this relationship going. I'm slowly regaining my trust in her as time passes, and the thoughts are dissipating. Though, when I go to the bathroom and see my junk sometimes it reoccurs...
As for the idea she mentioned about sleeping with someone else. She suggested we be broken up when I do this. Almost like: Together, Break up, sleep around, back together. She insists I do this. Yet she says she doesn't want to pressure me. I know deep down she doesn't want me to do it, but I know it may make her feel better about her decision. Though I'm not sure if It would help clear my conscience. We were both virgins before each other, and I had hoped it'd stay that way forever. I know that is very idealistic thinking, but I always believed intercourse was between lovers, not random casual people, or "friends" that happen to be there at the moment. I hadn't heard of him once before this incident, so he obviously wasn't important prior to this.

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Originally Posted by theanonymoused

I think the letter is a great idea. I've done something like that for our past break up. Kind of like a journal entry. As for details, i already know them all. She was hiding too much from the start, and once she started revealing the truths, i wanted to know them all so that they each wouldn't pop up in the future. Honestly, the details do add some realism to the picture in my mind, but they also have diminished the other man's standing in my mind immensely. He seems less of a threat, and if anything it was the worst moment in her life. Though, whether i know the details or not, I still know it happened. I'm glad she told me, cause if she didn't, every time i say "I'm glad you waited for me like i did for you." or "at least you didn't bang someone else while we were apart, that shows you loved me still." she would break down and go into a shell. Its a very sensitive topic, and though I know I will never forget it, right now, she is with me. She has never cheated on me, and admits this as a mistake. If possible i really want to keep this relationship going. I'm slowly regaining my trust in her as time passes, and the thoughts are dissipating. Though, when i go to the bathroom and see my junk sometimes it reoccurs...
As for the idea she mentioned about sleeping with someone else. She suggested we be broken up when i do this. Almost like: Together, Break up, sleep around, back together. She insists i do this. Yet she says she doesn't want to pressure me. I know deep down she doesn't want me to do it, but i know it may make her feel better about her decision. Though I'm not sure if It would help clear my conscience. We were both virgins before each other, and I had hoped it'd stay that way forever. I know that is very idealistic thinking, but I always believed intercourse was between lovers, not random casual people, or "friends" that happen to be there at the moment. I hadn't heard of him once before this incident, so he obviously wasn't important prior to this.

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It seems like you really want thias to work and I hope everything works out for you, I had a long talk with my girlfriend the other day about how I am feeling and its help loads I think talking about it with you girlfriend is the best solution and just think as you said you are better otherwise she wouldn't be back with you. Good luck and hope it works.

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Originally Posted by cjk888

it seems like you really want thias to work and i hope everything works out for you, I had a long talk with my gf the other day about how i am feeling and its help loads i think talking about it with you gf is the best solution and just think as you said you are better otherwise she wouldnt be back with you. good luck and hope it works.

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Thanks, I've been feeling better as time passes. Honestly, it didn't affect my performance at the start, but I have to admit sometimes I fumble during even a kiss. I feel almost like I've forgotten how to let it all happen. The thought of the event crosses my mind sometimes, but usually its brief and fleeting. Its only when she makes excuses or tries to justify her actions that the thought lingers and turns painful... I admit that I feel much more self conscience cause of this, and my libido has dropped exponentially. At times I have to wonder if it's even worth it, though when I'm with her I'm usually happy. I am certainly going to try to continue the relationship, but it seems I'll be battling a fierce enemy (myself) for a long time to come.
Disturbing Joke ahead:
If I'm as good fighting myself as I am playing with...
Anyway... I think I'll figure it out... Ha ha ha.

Thanks for your input, and I hope it works out well for all of our sakes.

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Originally Posted by theanonymoused

Thanks, I've been feeling better as time passes. Honestly, it didn't affect my performance at the start, but i have to admit sometimes i fumble during even a kiss. I feel almost like I've forgotten how to let it all happen. The thought of the event crosses my mind sometimes, but usually its brief and fleeting. Its only when she makes excuses or tries to justify her actions that the thought lingers and turns painful... I admit that i feel much more self conscience cause of this, and my libido has dropped exponentially. At times i have to wonder if it's even worth it, though when I'm with her I'm usually happy. I am certainly going to try to continue the relationship, but it seems I'll be battling a fierce enemy (myself) for a long time to come.
Disturbing Joke ahead:
If I'm as good fighting myself as i am playing with...
anyway... I think I'll figure it out... Ha ha ha.

Thanks for your input, and I hope it works out well for all of our sakes.

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LOL this is exactly where I am at I really want it to work and when we are together we are fine and happy but as soon as we are apart I just think about what's happened, but good news the thoughts are fadeing for a relationship to work sometimes you need to fight for it so that's what wioll happen.

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Originally Posted by cjk888

LOL this is exactly where i am at i really want it to work and when we are together we are fine and happy but as soon as we are apart i just think about whats happened, but good news the thoughts are fadeing for a relationship to work sometimes you need to fight for it so thats what wioll happen.

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Same here, its only when we are apart where the thoughts become invasive. Hopefully as time passes the thoughts will diminish to no more than a murmur in my head from time to time. I'm starting to regain my composure around her more often, perhaps the fire was just dimmed and needs to have fuel added to it before I can burn brightly again.

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Originally Posted by theanonymoused

Same here, its only when we are apart where the thoughts become invasive. Hopefully as time passes the thoughts will diminish to no more than a murmur in my head from time to time. I'm starting to regain my composure around her more often, perhaps the fire was just dimmed and needs to have fuel added to it before i can burn brightly again.

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Do you ever bring it up to her? I'm sure the thought will go altogether soon but for now we will just have to deal with it, I can't believe girls can be worse then lads these days lol what's the world coming to.

I was horribly surprised as well. I could expect that of a male, but females are becoming the new males. Well, no point worrying about it now. So many aspects where involved in both of our sides I'm sure. Emotion and logical reasoning sometimes just don't go hand in hand in times of distress...
Anyway, yeah I had told her awhile ago. But lately I've just dropped the subject. If at all avoidable I try not to bring it up. Whenever I'm with her, the thought fades. Despite what was given up/lost, some things "that" man could never take away from me. In a way I wonder if the experience has helped me value her a lot more. Though I still feel its 200+ different kinds of messed up, I'm not really mad at her for doing it. I am beyond mad at "him" but I'm only hurt and disappointed by her. Well, that's karma probably. Anyway, its been getting better and better lately, and she is becoming more open with me then she ever was. Its like I'm seeing another side of her. It's a bit shocking but it's intriguing. I just hope she doesn't end up ditching me and becoming a party girl or something stupid.

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Originally Posted by theanonymoused

I was horribly surprised as well. I could expect that of a male, but females are becoming the new males. Well, no point worrying about it now. So many aspects where involved in both of our sides I'm sure. Emotion and logical reasoning sometimes just don't go hand in hand in times of distress...
Anyway, yeah i had told her awhile ago. But lately I've just dropped the subject. If at all avoidable i try not to bring it up. Whenever I'm with her, the thought fades. Despite what was given up/lost, some things "that" man could never take away from me. In a way I wonder if the experience has helped me value her a lot more. Though i still feel its 200+ different kinds of messed up, I'm not really mad at her for doing it. I am beyond mad at "him" but I'm only hurt and disappointed by her. Well, that's karma probably. Anyway, its been getting better and better lately, and she is becoming more open with me then she ever was. Its like I'm seeing another side of her. Its a bit shocking but it's intriguing. I just hope she doesn't end up ditching me and becoming a party girl or something stupid.

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Well I'm glad its getting better and good luck its good to talk to people with the same experiances.

Hello,

I have recently got back with my girlfriend who I was with for 4 years, we had a split she moved out and now we are back together we split because we just didn't feel a spark any more and I didn't do as much as I could to stay together, after we split she had a lot of people interested in her Facebook text etc and she did sleep with someone when she went away. We have a child together so I was still seeing her a lot as I would go and pick my daughter up. After a few months of us being apart we both relised we had made a mistake and we wanted to get back together so we did, its only been 3 months and we have been on holiday but not moved back intogeher, the first month was nothing but sex all the time and fun but after I came back of holiday with her and my daughter she seems to not really be that bothered about me and only interested in her best friend( a girl)
She asks me to buy her things all the time and if I don't she tries to make me feel guilty not in a nasty way but just says its OK then it doesn't matter :( on a text, I have been really insecure because of what happened when we split and she doesn't seem to understand or care that I am, I don't no if its just me reading into things too much or not but I just want to make it work and stop feeling like I'm the only one making an effort.

Is there anyone in the same situation or someone who can advise me what todo
With thanks
cjk888

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So I'm back again.

My missis and I have been together for 5 years, we have a 3 year old daugter together and have had one break in our relationship.

Recently I noticed she was down and asked if she was OK, she then began to tell me she is not happy in the relationship anymore and wants space.
I don't really no what to do I do everything for her and my daughter and it just seems like she isn't bothered we are still txting all the time but I haven't seen her for a week apart from to get my daughter but I make sure I don't stay long so she has space. I have spoken with her friends and her mum to see if there is another man in her life but they all say no and I have also asked my partner this she again said this is between you and me and know one else. I don't really no what to do has anyone got any advise.

At this point its difficult to understand what's going on in her mind. I think you take care of your baby girl and leave your partner alone for sometime.

Have you asked her about going to counseling?

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Originally Posted by teacherjenn4

Have you asked her about going to counseling?

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Yes I have asked her and she said she wants to do it on her own. She has been ill for about a year as well but not mentally. She had an infection that makes her dizzy and it has never gone even though the doctors have said its all in her head.
This all started from a panic attack and she thinks she has health anxiety so she always thinks she is ill. I want to just leave her for abit but find it hard as we have a child together, she acts so normal all the time and it just seems like this isn't effecting her.

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Originally Posted by cjk888

yes i have asked her and she said she wants to do it on her own. she has been ill for about a year aswell but not mentally. she had an infection that makes her dizzy and it has never gone even tho the doctors have said its all in her head.
this all started from a panic attack and she thinks she has health anxiety so she always thinks she is ill. i want to just leave her for abit but find it hard as we have a child together, she acts so normal all the time and it just seems like this isnt effecting her.

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It may help to go to counseling yourself. Be the best parent you can be in the meantime.

The answer about counseling is very good. Sometimes, when both will go to a marriage counselor, or even some other type of counselor, just talking about everything with a third person really helps. People can fall "out of love" just like the falll "in love"... I know, been there, getting divorced after 7 yrs of marriage. Good luck.
PS, Just read what you said in a reply about her not wanting to go for counseling. I would take care of my daughter, and look around for somewhere to live... without her. She is trying to tell you, it's over. That's usually what happens when makes excuses for not getting counseling.

Not an expert on this... It seems like she just needs a larger house. Take it slowly, and start staying longer. See how she does.

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Originally Posted by fredg

The answer about counseling is very good. Sometimes, when both will go to a marriage counselor, or even some other type of counselor, just talking about everything with a third person really helps. People can fall "out of love" just like the falll "in love"....I know, been there, getting divorced after 7 yrs of marriage. Good luck.
PS, Just read what you said in a reply about her not wanting to go for counseling. I would take care of my daughter, and look around for somewhere to live....without her. She is trying to tell you, it's over. That's usually what happens when makes excuses for not getting counseling.

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If she won't go to councilling then what can I do, should I just give her space and time or will this just give her time to end the relationship slowly. At the moment she still texts me a lot and I do reply and always put nice things. This ight be helping her to eventually stop the relationship but I don't no. a year ago we split for 3 months and in that time she selpt with someone else and it took me a year to get ovr that so I don't want it to happen again, we have spoke about it and she said she just wants to concentrate on her self and won't be seeing anyone else but can I trust that? My heaqd always over thinks things but its not easy.

Romos/ what's a larger house about? We don't live together any more but I'm there every night until 10.30pm then go home and go to work in the morning then back again at 6pm.

So the issue may be about some other person she might be seeing. Hence, it means you are serious about her but she needs freedom. But your daughter is the bond that keeps you guys going. Since you guys don't live together then things get even more difficult. The better solution will be that you guys sit together and talk on this issue openly. Texting is not helping. You guys need to face each other and share your dreams, hopes and expectation for self and each other, including your daughter. And even if you guys decide to part, you both have to take collective responsibility of daughter. Good luck.

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Originally Posted by smkanand

so the issue may be about some other person she might be seeing. hence, it means you are serious about her but she needs freedom. but your daughter is the bond that keeps you guys going. since you guys don't live together then things get even more difficult. The better solution will be that you guys sit together and talk on this issue openly. texting is not helping. you guys need to face each other and share your dreams, hopes and expectation for self and each other, including your daughter. and even if you guys decide to part, you both have to take collective responsibility of daughter. good luck.

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So we have sat down and had a long chat and decided to part, not really what I wanted but I can't make someone love me so I have told her this is it. This is the secound time we have split and I would be a fool again, she told me we got back together to fast last time and she didn't know what she wanted then so just seems to me like she has lied the last year. Thanks for all your help anyway, its time for a new chapter I guess.

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Originally Posted by cjk888

so we have sat down and had a long chat and decided to part, not really what i wanted but i can't make someone love me so i have told her this is it. this is the secound time we have split and i would be a fool again, she told me we got back together to fast last time and she didnt know what she wanted then so just seems to me like she has lied the last year. thanks for all your help anyway, its time for a new chapter i guess.

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I'm sorry to hear it. Please visit a lawyer to get a custody agreement.