I really like this girl. We are so much alike and have so much in common.. I believe I could fall in love with her. We have so much chemistry that it's truly incredible. Anyway, she does like me as well, I always knew she did when we were in school together, quite obvious.. anybody could tell. She gave me all sorts of signs that she was strongly attracted to me. Like if I just looked at her, she would start blushing and smiling really big and giggling at the same time.

Anyway, I never got her number while I was in school with her and I graduated that year. I was so bummed out because really, genuinely liked this girl. Its like there's some unknown connection there between us. Anyway, I could never get over the fact that I just let her go, she would always come back to mind, so I got a friend that's still in school.. To approach her asking for her number for me. Haha wow he told me how she reacted.. he said she was literally flipping out and she was like "No WAY" and that she couldn't stop smiling. When he asked her if she had a pen to write her number down, she started fidgeting like crazy going through all her stuff like she was extremely excited.. and during this entire time she had a friend beside her that was talking to her and she was completely ignoring him!

Anyhow, we started talking just as friends. One day I ask her if she has a boyfriend and she says "Yes but me and him are not working out" so I ask what's wrong and she tells me that they barely talk and don't have much in common, and she likes me. Well one night we were talking and she admits that she has always had a huge crush on me. She tells me that her stomach drops and she gets butterflies when she goes to talk to me. She told me that I'm the most amazing person she has ever met! Well, I decide to stop hiding my feelings from her an I tell her that I like her and always have. Of course, she flipped out and was so happy. She had broke up with her boyfriend too. She texts me one night saying that she can't wait to see me and she has been thinking about us being together.

Well shortly after that, come to find out she starts dating him again! So this totally shocks me and has me confused. So me and her meet in person and I talk to her.. trying to understand what's going on. Basically, she told me that she didn't know who would be right for, she thought that I would just leave her for some older hotter chick. I told her that I wouldn't do that to her and her "Well who do you want, who do you like more? I just want the truth" she looked like she was going to cry, her eyes started sparkling.. she said, "You I want you" and I tell her then she knows what she has to do if she wants to be with me.. break up with him. And has said she knows and she is going to, but its going to be hard because she feels sorry for him. She told me that's the main reason why she's going out with him.. sympathy.

Anyway I walk her to her house and she told me that there's something she was wanting to tell me, but she was scared to tell me. Anyway I kept trying to get of out of her, and she asks me "well what do you think it has to do with?" I say "Is it have to do with how you feel about me?" When I said this she got all quiet and was staring at me. She started blushing and she got 'that' look again.. like she was about to cry her, her eyes started sparkling. She told me that she think she's in love with me. She explained to me that when I graduated, she thought she would never see me again and that she never got over me. I always came back to her mind. She told me that I am the coolest Guy she has ever met.

Well, to cut to the point, she never broke up with that Guy like she said she was going to... and she basically chose him. She's still with him, all of this has completely shocked me and I just don't understand... I really don't want to lose her, because like I said, I know I could love her. What do I do? Please help..

You are choice number 2. It could never be love, because she's not into you. She probably had a crush on you, but never really left her boyfriend like she claimed, and tested the waters with you. She decided to stay where she was at.

Also here's a good lesson for you, women are not fragile creatures, they lie to get what they want, and she lied to you. Her actions, however told exactly what she was thinking. Actions, not words are what you should listen to.

Um.. that's what I used to think, that she lied to me. I told her this and she says that she didn't lie to me. I don't believe she lied to me. I think that she was just too scared to hurt that guy that she is with. She told me this... she doesn't want to hurt him. She is scared... and I can understand this because she is a very shy girl. Honestly, I want help on getting her back, because I know she's trying to ignore the feelings she had for me. She's already told me that she can't get me out of her head at all. How can I get those feelings to become even stronger to the point that she can't ignore and can't stop thinking about me? This girl is very special to me. Me and her are so much alike and have tons in common.

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Originally Posted by ultima92

she says that she didn't lie to me.

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Oh she did, Oh I see, when a person says they didn't lie, that would in itself never be a lie. Right?

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Originally Posted by ultima92

One day I ask her if she has a boyfriend and she says "Yes but me and him are not working out" so I ask what's wrong and she tells me that they barely talk and don't have much in common, and she likes me.

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But she's back with this guy who she has nothing in common with and barely talks to? Why would that be? Certainly not lying.

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Originally Posted by ultima92

She had broke up with her boyfriend too...

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Amazingly after you both admitted to a 20 year crush that neither acted on, she "broke up with her boyfriend too" Certainly a woman as wholesome as this would never not really dump her guy and use you to test the waters. Nope, never. Not a lie.

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she texts me one night saying that she can't wait to see me and she has been thinking about us being together. Well shortly after that, come to find out she starts dating him again!

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Wait so she lied? To you? To her boyfriend (who is not you)? To both? But I thought she didn't lie? Not her.

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Originally Posted by ultima92

So this totally shocks me and has me confused. So me and her meet in person and I talk to her..trying to understand what's going on. Basically, she told me that she didn't know who would be right for, she thought that I would just leave her for some older hotter chick.

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This is some good work by this other guy's girlfriend. She not only fabricated the truth (there's another word for that) about going back to her boyfriend, she actually plays the guilt card, and more amazing then her playing it, YOU BOUGHT IT!!

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Originally Posted by ultima92

I told her that I wouldn't do that to her and her "Well who do you want, who do you like more? I just want the truth" she looked like she was going to cry, her eyes started sparkling..

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What, a woman turning on the water works for a guy that doesn't see what is right in front of him? This has never been done all through out history.

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Originally Posted by ultima92

she said, "You I want you" and I tell her then she knows what she has to do if she wants to be with me..break up with him. And ahw said she knows and she is going to, but its going to be hard because she feels sorry for him. She told me that's the main reason why she's going out with him..sympathy

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She played the guilt card, AGAIN. Even more compelling, YOU BOUGHT IT, AGAIN.

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Originally Posted by ultima92

Anyway I walk her to her house and she told me that there's something she was wanting to tell me, but she was scared to tell me. Anyway I kept trying to get of out of her, and she asks me "well what do you think it has to do with?" I say "Is it have to do with how you feel about me?" When I said this she got all quiet and was staring at me. She started blushing and she got 'that' look again..like she was about to cry her, her eyes started sparkling. She told me that she think she's in love with me.

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After falling for the guilt card twice, and now you are walking her back to her place still taking all the BS she is giving she goes for the kill. She is now going to for the ultimate prize. She's going play the "I'm in love with you card" because let's be honest, she sees you as an easy mark who will start buying her stuff or doing things for her.

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Originally Posted by ultima92

Well, to cut to the point, she never broke up with that Guy like she said she was going to...

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What? You don't say? This is completely exactly what anybody could see was happening.

But you think...

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Originally Posted by ultima92

I don't believe she lied to me.

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While you are wrong. She's lied to you again and again. She's used your good intentions for her own gain. The truth is she's not really a nice person, she's not the angel you've accepted her as.

Now she's got you making excuses for her. Now she's got you believing that she can't dump a guy she never talks to because she's shy and feels bad for him, but doesn't give two sh!ts about the guy she supposedly thinks about all the time. What a bunch of BS. Brother stand up for yourself and demand more out of you. You know, you know you don't need me to tell you this, you know in your heart of hearts I'm right and she's wrong. You know what she's doing isn't right, and you know you wouldn't treat somebody like the way she is treating you.

Wow lol I have to hand it to you haha Honestly man, you don't think that I have thought about it in the way that you are looking at it? Haha because I certainly have. Hmm, let's see... have you ever considered that she was scared and confused?

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Originally Posted by ultima92

...have you ever considered that she was scared and confused?

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I think you are scared and confused. I think you are scared of losing her, and I think you are confused by what she's telling you. Be real to yourself. I know you like her and I know this sucks, but be realistic, if she felt the same way she'd be choosing you over him. She's using you, she's lying to you, and she's playing you for her own selfish gain. I can tell you are a good guy, I can tell you wouldn't do this to her or anybody else, so don't let her do it to you. You deserve better then this, if she can't produce, that's her loss and her problem. But it's up to you to make it stick.

I can read through your words you have a great capacity for romance. I can tell by the way you talk about her that you are lonely and need a partner, too. But trust me, bro... she is not the right person. If she chose the other guy, then she chose, and you need to do what is right for yourself now and stop worrying about her. It's hard, but life hasn't ever been particularly easy, now has it?
Love takes time.

Yeah people... I have had these exact views that you all do. But Sue has said things that make sense as to the possibility of her not lying. Like she's told me that she can understand why I think she lied to me, but she claims she didn't. She's stated that she believes everything happens for a reason and she's trying to figure out why this other Guy got into the picture. Also... this is one theory I've thought about, that she really does feel that way about me, but she's thinking that I could leave her and then she would be heart broken. So maybe she's not willing to take the risk of hurting this other guy to be with me. She's told me that she's thought that I would just leave her for some older hotter girl.. hmmm.. I appreciate all the help and opinions I can get.

Dude, you will have to trust me on this but it was foolish to try and get a female who has someone, especially since you are a grown man, and she is still in high school. And whether she is lying or not, she IS cheating on the guy she SAYS she broke up with, but didn't.

Doesn't matter if she is afraid or confused, All that matters is she lied to deceive you and the reasons don't matter.

So fact is, you are trying to get romance from a lying cheater and expect this to work out well? Now that's plain crazy. Almost as crazy as you being played by the nose by a lying cheater, and believe all the crap this young high school female tells you.

Sorry to be harsh, but not only is this crazy, but very foolish for you to waste time with this, but expect something good to come of it. It won't. So my advice is walk away, disappear, while you still have a semblance of dignity, and self respect.

Okay so, what do I need to do? I mean, there is no way that I can at least have her thinking about me all the time? I really do believe that she has feelings for me. This is what my gut says, and just trust me, my gut has always proven me correct. It's like a gift. This is what I KNOW for a fact, she's trying to ignore her feelings for me because ofhim. I appreciate all of your help, but can you all try to think how it would be if you were in my situation? Like I've said, her and I have so much chemistry. We have everything in common, and she knows this too...

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Originally Posted by ultima92

We have everything in common, and she knows this too...

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Really?

Do you hook up with other girls and then lie to her about it?

Do you continue to date your girlfriend, but the tell another girl you dumped her?

Do you continue to tell someone who is so far into you they can't see what's right in front of them, that you are confused?

Dude, come on, she's using you it is clearly obvious to everybody but you.

You don't want to lose her? She was never yours to lose in the first place.

Also, if you disrespect her relationship, and she does the same by putting you before her boyfriend, what would ever make you think being with you would change her. If she did it with you, she will do it with anyone else. And now the excuse of being with him for sympathy, it can only go so far, either she breaks up with him completely or you need to move on, I would suggest doing so regardless.

Okay chuff, since you say say that she's using me... answer this, how is she using me, and what for? Honestly, I don't see how she is using me, because we haven't talked since Sunday...

You are so intent of talking yourself into this so follow your gut. In truth we have been through this before, some more than others. You have all the facts you need to make a good decision, so have at it.

Let me know how it works out for you. Good luck! As for advice how to keep her thinking of you always? Dude that's entirely up to her, but she will think of you sometimes, when she needs attention. That's why they lie, AND cheat. They need attention.

Talaniman, the issue is... I don't know what my gut is telling me to do. Honestly, and even though it may not seem like it, but I'm pretty much getting over her. Don't get me wrong though, of there's some way that I can get her back, I want to know... because I did develop strong feelings for her. I can see myself loving her, and I have never been in love. So I really want to experience it... any more advice is gladly appreciated

Geez guy, we have told you what to do, we all have, you just don't want to face the fact that this young girl has your nose so open you can drive a truck up it.

A guy who cannot use his brain as well as his feelings is looking to hurt himself badly. I mean what makes you think this girls mama will even let you date her daughter? You are not thinking here guy.

No one has told me what to do. Every one is just telling me that she is a liar. And I'm tired of hearing that, because I understand why you guys think she is a liar. But it's like this, what would you do if you were me? Just let her go? And move on and stop talking to her? What should I do? Do I even have a chance with her?

I personally stayed away from any female that has some one already, because she is unavailable for what I would want. I definitely never allowed a liar, and cheater to get close enough to lie and cheat on me, that's asking for trouble. So yes walking away, far away is exactly what I have done in a situation like yours. No hesitation either.

For a FACT, she is a liar, and a cheater. That's all you need to know.

Don't allow those intense feelings to give up your dignity, and self respect. And distract you from better options than this HS girl. This ain't high school any more.

Face it, you are stuck in an unhealthy situation, and refuse to see it. Did I wish you good luck? You will need it if you are intent on finding out the truth the hard way. No biggie, a lot of us learned the hard way. Wonder what your Buds tell you about this?

I was truly hoping you would see this for yourself but since you cannot, let me enlighten you.

She lies to you to keep you coming back, and distract you with false hope and lead you on. She is in HS, doing HS things with HS people. She isn't giving that up for a guy older than her, and she like the attention from you since you believe anything she says. Most HS girls do, don't you remember? She knows you aren't going anywhere, and doesn't have to break up with the other guy (poor dumb young *****), you will just keep chasing any way.

Like I said, your nose is wide open, she knows that, and knows how to keep it that way. So you want to know if you have a chance with her? Sure you do, until something better comes along, or her mama finds out and has your a$$. So blame this on the other guy if it makes you feel better. But don't blame her for making you feel foolish, and lost. That's all your fault. You'll see soon enough.

Okay I understand your point. To be honest, she doesn't have my noise wide open anymore... I'm pretty much over her now. I know I can easily get another chick, but it's just that... I
Developed strong feelings for her, because I have never met a chick that is so much like me and has everything in common with me. We have have chemistry, and she knows this. I just wish there was some way to turn things around. Anyway that's beside the point, what should I do? Stop talking to her? Cut her off? Should I not even try to be friends with her? Hmm... maybe I should delete her number off my phone? Guys, I really do appreciate all the support... you all basically opened my eyes and have helped stop running from the truth. Thank You All

Leave her alone, and never be available to her is what you do. You do have a life without her, or should.

Okay so what if she comes back to me? Or asks me why I haven't been talking to her..

Cross that bridge when you come to it and the truth is always the best, you have no desire to seek romance with a female with a boyfriend, and you don't abide cheating. that simple, and if you cannot resist the charms of a girl in HS, when you know she is wrong, boy, are you in trouble of your own making.

Does anybody else have any more to say about my entire situation with this girl?

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Originally Posted by ultima92

Does anybody else have any more to say about my entire situation with this girl?

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Well, my advice would be that if she is degrading you in anyway, move on. Does she treat you with respect? If she is leading you on you will know it, deep down. If your gut is unsure it'll be for a reason.

By the way, I'm in a similar situation - I like a girl who has a boyfriend, but I'm pretty sure she likes me back. People will disagree with me on this but I just want to sit it out since she seems to respect me etc... but I will look around while I wait. So should you, since your girl obviously doesn't really respect you. Correct me if you're sure I'm wrong there though...

Honestly.. I don't know what's going on anymore. I haven't talked to her for over a week now. And I know everybody on this site seems to believe that she lied to me and played me.. but I don't know about that. Because if she really did lie to me, why would she get angry at me for thinking that she lied to me? *sigh* its all one confusing mess...

You will see. Give it 6 months. A week means NOTHING, its barely a good start.

Ah man... what do you mean it's barely a good start? A good start... for.. Seems to me that you're completely set on knowing what's going on between me and her. And if 6 months go by and I haven't talked to her, then obviously my mind is way past her. I don't see what you're trying to say...

So your goal is to see if she wants you back? Not to heal and move on??

Goal? Not sure if I have one if it comes to her. I mean, this Sunday will be two weeks that I haven't spoken to her. I don't know anymore... who knows what the future holds. It's like I said before, I've felt some strange, unexplained 'connection' between her and I.. I know she felt it too.. its hard man. And this whole situation... seems like some test or trial to me...

I highly suggest you set a goal to have a great time without her, and seeing this as a test is a good idea. It's a test if you can see what's right for yourself, based on facts, and not just feelings. Right now there are intense feelings, making you ignore obvious facts.

The facts huh. Well, I'm not ignoring anything. Except her, given the fact that I haven't talked to her in a week and a half. Now that's a fact. You can try and say that you know what's going on between her and I, but you can't possibly know everything because you haven't experienced it in my shoes. Now, from my experience, my gut has never let me down, its always proven to be right, and it told me that she really does feel the way that she claimed to feel about me. It also told me that she's confused and scared to take the risk of leaving that Guy, to be with me... because possibly something could happen to where she ends up losing me or whatever... and then she's left there alone and hurting. Heartbroken. So obviously, she took the easy way out and chose to stay where she is at. I mean, look at what she's told me, "It's like I do want you really badly and then I its I don't" that pretty proves my theory that I just explained to you. And I know you probably thinking that I'm dumb, young and blind... but I'm really not..

I think yo are disappointed she didn't dump this guy for you. But a fact you are ignoring, as I pointed out before, is she is talking sweet stuff to you, yet she has a boyfriend, and has lied about breaking up with him to keep your attention. That's devious, and that's a fact. Her feelings may be true, but not her actions.

Yes she is taking the easy safe way out, but that doesn't change the facts.

Yeah. I am disappointed. Not only that, but shocked as well. I'm not the only one. My friend that got me her number can't believe that she didn't leave for me. He has actually told her that in school "I figured you would leave any dude to be with Ryan" (my name is Ryan) and you look at what she said, "It's not that I wouldn't, I just got scared. I chickened out." Hmm. Also... my friend says that her eyes get bigger whenever my name is mentioned. The way he explained it to me was, whenever my name is mentioned, she locks in and focuses on what is being said...

Does you no good to let others keep you jacked up with news of her.

Thing is, everyone is selfish to an extent and the reality is people will often want (and sometimes get) other people that they shouldn't really. But yeah, if she likes you so much, why does she not just dump her boyfriend?

She wouldn't dump him at that time because she was scared. She was dating him because she felt sorry for him because he says his life sucks blah blah. She didn't want to hurt him. She didn't know how to do. She told me that she spent an entire class period planning the break up, and then when she saw him after class, she got scared and backed down. She took the easy way out dude. I don't understand... I really do miss her so much. I was doing good this pas week about moving on from her and just not caring, but she always comes back to my mind... it's hard man, I WISH there was something I can do... :(