When two people break up because of circumstances, not because they lost feelings for each other. Is there a chance that they will get back together eventually?

My boyfriend and I broke up because of circumstances, I tried to convince him out of it, but it has been so far unsuccessful. I told him we could work through them, but he think otherwise. I know I did everything I could to save the relationship. I can't just force my opinion on him, and I shouldn't beg him to come back by crying like crazy. I mean a relationship is about two people, if only one person is willing to work for it, then the relationship is going to end up falling apart anyway.

All I can do now is wait, if he doesn't change his mind, or doesn't think we can work on our problems there's nothing I can do. This is so frustrating.

What should I do?

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Originally Posted by kaitou

When two people break up because of circumstances, not because they lost feelings for each other. Is there a chance that they will get back together eventually?

My boyfriend and I broke up because of circumstances, I tried to convince him out of it, but it has been so far unsuccessful. I told him we could work through them, but he think otherwise. I know i did everything i could to save the relationship. I can't just force my opinion on him, and i shouldn't beg him to come back by crying like crazy. I mean a relationship is about two people, if only one person is willing to work for it, then the relationship is going to end up falling apart anyways.

All i can do now is wait, if he doesnt change his mind, or doesnt think we can work on our problems there's nothing i can do. This is so frustrating.

What should i do?

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Try focusing on your life now, you should pick your head and get involved with something else. I didn't say SOMEONE else, but you should get a hobby or something to occupy your time. Men are like children , they only want to play when you don't. Act like you are OK until he wants to talk about it. And who knows you may become OK with being apart. You may discover something about yourself that you didn't know. Good luck.

You should wait for no one to live your life, and if they can't get with the program then move on. We can't make any one do what we want, but we can do what WE want. Do you see the difference?

Well yea, I'm going to move on with other parts of my life. But I'm talking about the romantic part of my life? Does that make any sense?

I'm really confused. I know a lot of people says that the best way to recover from a break up is by not contacting your ex at all.

I have been doing that thus far, I don't msn, email, text, or call him. However I see him twice a week in lecture, where we just sit beside each other, and just talk like normal people that sit beside each other in lecture. So my first question is, is this good enough for the "no contact" thing?

What I don't get is, does moving on mean you have to block the other person completely out of your life? Are you suppose to forget the other person? Is that person suppose to be just out of your life? I'm positive I won't see him at all next year, if this keeps going we won't even be friends. We would just became people that sat beside each other in lecture for a whole year. Honestly I don't want that.

Just because we are not in a relationship, it doesn't mean we can't care about each other anymore. (as long as if there's no ulterior motives involved) I mean before we started dating, he would talk to me occasionally on msn, or rant to me about his worries/problems. Why can't we do that anymore?

Like I would understand the no contact thing if I had a bad break up, but this break up was good. Sure, I hate losing him as my significant other, but I don't want to lose someoe that's important to me too. I mean I know it's over, is it wrong to still want to care about the other person. Shouldn't friends want to care about each other. I mean both of us still want to be friends.

Can't moving on just mean accepting that some things are just not meant to be? Instead of forgetting the past or trying to cover it up?

Please give me some input. Is this just a bad sign that I'm not moving on?

Well "where we just sit beside each other, and just talk like normal people that sit beside each other in lecture" - that's NOT no contact.

Y9o do need to move on. Why I nthe hell do you need to sit next to him? There is no reason.

Seeing him at these lectures will just mnake things harder.

You're just making this tough on yurself.

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Originally Posted by kaitou

I have been doing that thus far, I don't msn, email, text, or call him. However i see him twice a week in lecture, where we just sit beside each other, and just talk like normal people that sit beside each other in lecture. So my first question is, is this good enough for the "no contact" thing?

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I am inclined to say yes, it does since you still have contact with him and talk to him even though you refrain from talking about th relationship.

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Originally Posted by kaitou

What I don't get is, does moving on mean you have to block the other person completely out of your life?

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Initially yes, usually you do otherwise you are holding onto false hope by keeping in contact. Maybe later on you can attempt friendship but not while you still have strong feelings for the other person.

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Originally Posted by kaitou

Are you suppose to forget the other person? Is that person suppose to be just out of your life?

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You probably won't ever forget the other person if you were in love with them, neither are your required to forget them. Initially, they must be out of your life for you to move on and progress/heal from the breakup. Sometimes, this may need to be permanent and sometimes (actually, quite often) friendship with the ex just is not possible.

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Originally Posted by kaitou

Just because we are not in a relationship, it doesn't mean we can't care about each other anymore.

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I agree, it does not necessarily mean that but think carefully why you want this caring between the two of you. You can still care but not be in contact.

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Originally Posted by kaitou

Just because we are not in a relationship, it doesn't mean we can't care about each other anymore. (as long as if there's no ulterior motives involved) I mean before we started dating, he would talk to me occasionally on msn, or rant to me about his worries/problems. Why can't we do that anymore?

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As long as you are honest with yourself and not in denial that you are holding onto false hope by keeping the line of communication open then there is no reason why you can't do this still. What is the point though? Is it holding you back from progressing/moving on? The feelings would still be there and you would be debilitating your own healing.

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Originally Posted by kaitou

Like i would understand the no contact thing if i had a bad break up, but this break up was good. Sure, i hate losing him as my significant other, but i dont want to lose someoe that's important to me too. I mean i know it's over, is it wrong to still want to care about the other person. shouldn't friends wanna care about each other. I mean both of us still want to be friends.

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If you can both mutually agree that friendship is possible, then there is nothing wrong with it but think about situations that occur which could hurt either one of you. An example would be when he finds someone else and begins a relationship with them. What impact would this have on you? Reverse this hypothetical situation and ask yourself how he would feel? What impact would it have on the friendship between you both? If you are comfortable with this and don't think it would be a major issue, then friendship is possible.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by kaitou

Can't moving on just mean accepting that some things are just not meant to be? instead of forgetting the past or trying to cover it up?

Please give me some input. Is this just a bad sign that i'm not moving on?

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It seems possible that you may be holding on to something by grasping the idea of friendship when it seems clear that your feelings are still quite strong. Only you know where you are at but I would caution you into really thinking about what your true motives are and that with friendship comes a big responsibility of understanding where the limits/boundaries are and knowing where you both stand.

Sometimes you just have to let go and move on! But acceptance is a very important part of the process and therefore if there is true acceptance and a sufficient period of No Contact has been adhered to, then I don't think friendship is impossible, maybe just difficult.. It all depends on the individuals concerned and the circumstances that surrounded the breakup e.t.c.

Hope I helped.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by kaitou

Just because we are not in a relationship, it doesnt mean we can't care about each other anymore. (as long as if there's no ulterior motives involved) I mean before we started dating, he would talk to me occassionally on msn, or rant to me about his worries/problems. Why can't we do that anymore?

Like i would understand the no contact thing if i had a bad break up, but this break up was good. Sure, i hate losing him as my significant other, but i dont want to lose someoe that's important to me too. I mean i know it's over, is it wrong to still want to care about the other person. shouldn't friends wanna care about each other. I mean both of us still want to be friends.

Can't moving on just mean accepting that some things are just not meant to be? instead of forgetting the past or trying to cover it up?

Please give me some input. Is this just a bad sign that i'm not moving on?

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In my experience, it depends on how deeply you were involved and for how long. I have exes that I've kept in touch with and been friends with for years, and it's really nice. But they aren't the ones that were multi-year living-together relationships. I have two of those, and when it was over, it was completely over in both cases. So you're right about the ulterior motives thing. If you can really be friends without secret yearnings to get back together or to prove something to them, then sometimes it can work. Otherwise, not.

Hi dear,
I think that you are confused.. clear your mind first.
It seems that you are not ready to let go of him... believe me I am also going through the same thing... if you try to contact him or chat with him then ultimately you will fall in again... thats 100% sure

Even if that's what you want are you sure how he feels or is he hiding something. You both need time to accept things even if it was a good break up. Now if you two agree that the relationship is over and you both can handle what the other one does then enjoy. But if the feelings are strong and one still has feelings for more uh oh trouble. Seeing and talking to him everyday is not no contact.

At this point in time, I have no desire to get back together with my ex. After things he said, things he did, and his lifestyle I don't think it's ever possible for us to get back together. I'm truly truly hurt. I just turned 20 recently, and he's the only guy I ever really cared for. Yes, I'm still immature and inexperience when it comes to love. I also fantasize love. I also think I'm too much of a dreamer.

I have no idea what I tihnk of him right now. I don't want to hate him, yet I know I have more than enough reason to hate him. I should be mad/angry at him, but I'm not. I don't know if I still like him, but I do know that he doesn't like me in that way anymore. Ever since we broken up, he's been mean and cruel. He never gave me a chance to talk to him about the break up. Although it was partly my fault.

He broke up with me face to face, but I was too shock to say anything. If I tried to persuade him at that time, we would probably still be together. Because he still liked me a lot when we were breaking up. I wanted to talk to him about it on day 2 of our break up, but by then he was already unwilling to talk. I didn't want to get on his nerve so I just left him alone, I wanted to respect him. It's been a month since we broke up, and I still find myself regretting for not trying to convince him out of it. So I finally decided to confront him about it. What I found out was that he has completely move on, and would not talk to me about it. He admit that he was being unfair to me the whole time, because he never gave me a chance to talk to him about it.

I just wanted to let everything out of my chest, so I wrote him an email. By the time I wrote the email I had completely given up hope, I know it's over. But I just want to write him everything that I wanted to tell him. It was a closure for myself.

That actually helped me a lot, I felt like I've finished the unfiniished business for myself. And I can finally move on, without thinking what if I told him that.

I hope you guys would believe me, when I say I don't want to get back together with him. I can't help but feel that he doesn't really want to see me, as if he wish I would disappear from his life. If he keeps doing what he's doing, one day I'll really start hating him, no matter how forgiving I am. I just think it's really sad to start hating someone that you once cared for. I want to keep what good memories I have of him, and I want him to keep what good memories he has of me. I don't want us to destroy each other's good memories with bad ones.

So I msned him and left him message, telling him basically what I said in the above paragraph. He probably thinks I can't move on and wants to stay friends becoz I still want to be with him. So maybe he'll be even meaner. I just hope he'll stop skipping lectures, and sit next to me in class. I hope we can stay in contact, and maybe in the future we can laugh at how we were once together.

I really don't want things to end up badly. I've spent years regretting friendship that I lost over stupid reasons. I don't want this to be one of them. Am I wrong? Is this unhealthy?

Sorry about all my posts ._.

Ok I've accepted the fact that we broke up, and there are no chance whatsoever of getting back together. It's been a month since we broke up, I would just drift from like normal, and all of a sudden feeling sad. I hate how I ruminate when I just wake up in the morning or whenever I'm bored.

I feel like I broke up with him twice. The first time we broke up while he still liked me a lot, which was a month ago. At that time I didn't talk to him about our relationship, because I didn't want to get on his nerves or whatever. I wanted him to have time to think for himself, and respect him. However a month later I find myself regretting so badly that I didn't try to talk him out of breaking up, all I did was giving him a letter expressing everything I felt. So I thought it's been a month since we broke up, it should be OK if we talk about the relationship now, because when I tried to talk to him about it the 2nd day after we broke up, he was all like we shouldn't talk until we calm down, I don't want us to start hating and be mad at each other. So I respected him and gave him the space he wanted.

After a month of not contacting each other at all. (all we did was talk for like 10 minutes before class each week, and we only see each other once or twice a week. We talked like normal classmates that sat beside each other)

That day before I went to school, I left him a message on msn saying I would like to have a talk, and want to meet up somewhere, and will give him a call and see if he can meet somewhere before class. So I called him that day. He answer and was all normal and stuff. I was like did you get my message? And he was like yea, but I really don't want to talk about it, it'll just be really weird for me. (at that time I knew it was completely over, he really gotten over me). But still I wanted to express myself to him face to face anyway, because I never got a chance to, I really really needed some closure. So I was like please I just want to have a talk. He was like you can talk to me on the phone or msn about it, but I really don't want to meet up somewhere to have a talk about it, it'll be really really weird for me. He then said well you'll see me in 2 hours in class, you can talk to me then.

During the phone conversation he said 3 hurtful things:

He wanted to tell me that he just wasn't ready for a relationship yet. And to show me that he wasn't, he told me this: "In fact i almost potentially started seeing someone else just a week ago, but decided against it because i just wasnt ready for a relationship yet" ( we only broke up for a month) and on top of that she was someone he was "interested in for a while". So I was like what does that make of our relationship, and he was well you can like someone and be interested in someone too, its different. His voice was fading, and I was like so you never liked me. And he was like "I did like you"

And when I said you moved on that quickly, he said "We weren't that close".

It was also hurtful that he sounded so completely normal and non-caring. He sounded like "What's wrong with you, you should be over me by now too."

There's that's like a second break up for me. How can he be so different, when we first broke up he was the one who wanted to remain friend, he told me he still liked me a lot, and now he's saying stuff like that.

That night he didn't come to class, I text him and was like "You're skipping now?". And text back "I got high when my friend came over, so yea". The reason I text him and asked if he's skippig is because every time I did something friendly or related to our relationship he would skip the next class. I went home and talked to my bro about what happened that day and was crying my eyes out. My bro talked me through it, by the end of our conversation I no longer had the desire of talking to my ex face to face about our break up. I thought I'll write him an email about it nevertheless, so I did. I listed all the regrets I had for things I didn't do, for how I didn't try hard enough to to talk him out of it, just many many different regrets. I wrote how I wish I realize sooner that I should've tried way harder to get through to him. Anyway I don't know if he read it, but in my email I said I no longer want to talk aobut it, and I don't care if you don't read this either, so delete it now if even reading about what I have to say is too weird for you.

He decided to skip the next class we had together too.

When we first broke up I was sad that it was over, but I kept hoping that we would still get back together. Now I'm still sad that it's over, and I know ther'es no chance of us getting back together now. I can finally accept that everything its over, and that I need to move on. I've decided to cease all contact with him now. It's probably a good idea for me, beside if I keep sitting beside him in class he'll still think I want to reconcile with him, and it'll put him in an uncomfortable position. He'll probably act all awkward around me too. I really don't want to lose contact with him, because I want to have a good memory with him. So I think I'm going to leave him alone for a month, and then one day sit beside him again in class, and see if we can be friends again. I want us to end in good terms, I want to have a nice memory of him. I don't want to look back at this years from now thinking "man, what an a$$ he was", I want to be able to look back and smile and be happy that it happened.

Anyway right now I'm just sad that he moved on so fast, I just can't stop feeling sad about how little/insignificant I meant to him. Even though I meant very little to him, and we weren't together for a long time, he meant a lot to me. How come some people move on so fast? Why can't I move on that fast too? How can I cope better with my sadness? I mean ill be fine for a few hours, and then I'll drift into sadness out of no where. I would wake up every morning with the thought that he moved on already in my mind, same with going to bed too. I wish it would just stop. It's so frustrating, and it's draining me. I'm losing weight even though I'm eating normally.

Check out the advice on here. I think you might find it helpful.

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...ile-61315.html

You had an awful lot invested, more than he did it seems and still have to be in class with him? I can imagine the torture. Ouch! Above all quit talking to him. How much longer does this class have anyway? You really do need to stop holding out hope though and as I see it that is what making you very miserable, your own thoughts, He is living rent free in your head because your too scared to evict him. You must give up all thoughts of being friends for you to start the healing process. Not easy given the circumstances but it must be done.

It's been a month and 2 weeks since my break up, and I feel a lot better now. I know a week ago I was still saying how I was really sad and I just can't let go. But recently I really feel like I've improved. I feel like I can finally let go of the hope that we will one day be back together, and that it just wasn't meant to be.

I still have moments where I would feel really down, but I tend to get back up and focus on other things really quickly. Right now I just feel like I'm at peace, and I have a really calming feeling. I've picked back up hobbies that I neglected. Surprisingly I started playing piano again, I quit a few years back. Because I hated practicing for examinations. In fact I hated playing the piano with a PASSION. But now I play for like relaxation/enjoyment. Really can't believe how much I am enjoying it lol, how much it calms me down. I'm so grateful to my parents for forcing me to learn the piano when I was little. I can play basically anything I want, because they forced me to play till grade 9 RCMP. There are a total of 10 grades and then is ARCT.

Right now I'm trying to play this song flawlessly, because its so pretty lol. It's a really nice song. You can download it here, if you want to hear it. I think most people would like it.

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Aside from that I have a question LOL. I feel like this guy friend that I met recently is hitting on me, actually come to think of it he's been hitting on me ever since we first met. I met him like a month ago, because of my break up (basically I was ranting to my friend about it, and then she told him, and then he became curious, and he wanted to talk to me to help, and then we eventually met). Sometimes when I'm teasing him about something, he'll go like "because you're special". Or sometimes when I'm just apologizing for making him wait (1.5 hours, not my fault my lecture ended late, and he finished his lab early :S). He'll be like "because you're special". I don't get it :confused: Like do some guys actually flirt saying stuff like that. I mean at first I didn't think much of it. Now it's making me curious. I mean if he say stuff like I think you're cute or w/e, that's a lot more normal than because you're special.

AND NO, I'm not asking this because I want to jump into a new relationship. I've learnt! I think we could become good friends, because he's a really caring/ nice person. But I'm still curious LOL.

There is no telling how any of us find our special people as "special". Oh I could delve some below-the-surface possibilites of what may be prompting that but it would all be totally amateurish guessing and what would be the point anyhow? Some mysteries are meant to be just savored!

However, a time of grieving does two things that may be influencing him saying it AND how much its getting your attention too.

First, we tend to "radiate" our sadness while grieving in a very subtle way and it can make us look especially vulnerable to others who are paying attention. Vulnerability can be very compelling to the opposite sex - that is a given whether its male or female vulnerability. He may be responding to that in some indirect way. Maybe not.

Secondly, we tend to be more fragile in grief than we realise, which is why its good to stick with family and friends only. It's a time where our "heads can be too easily turned" by, well, someone saying we are special. We are special, indeed. But don't let a stranger make it more clear to you than your family and friends do right now -- that can be the beginning of a rebound relationship right there.

If he is someone who can only be friends with you, make that clear to him. If he has potential for more, maybe back away for a while. That potential may still be there later, when YOU are more available.

PS - I am glad to see you are feeling better and that doesn't necessarily mean you are out of the grieving woods just yet too, okay?

Good Answer Valinor. I agree that if you think the new guy has potential, back away for a little while. I'm going through the same thing right now. I met this really cool guy, but realized I was always complaining about my ex to him and telling him how sad I was. I realized that if anything was going to ever happen there... he doesn't need to know everything I'm going through right now.

Secondly, I've been speaking to a counselor and she's given me some good advice that I think might help you too.

The way grief works is that it is usually a path that keeps leading forward. You might get bumped back a little bit, but each time you get bumped back it's not as far back as you were before. That was worded kind of weird... but basically, if you're having a bad day it will pass and it probably won't be as hard as your bad days before that. This has definitely been true for me.

So hang in there! And I'm really happy to know that you are doing better! Feels good, huh?

So it's been 2 months since my break up. After 1.5 months of true no contact I feel a lot better. I'm getting back on track on things, and moving on in life. Meeting new people and such. I still have my moments from time to time though, but over all I'm getting a lot better.

What bugs me the most is that I think my ex blocked me on msn, and dropped the two classes that we have together. I honestly didn't annoy him or bug him or act like a stalker after I break up. I didn't talk badly about him behind his back. I don't think I've done anything to make him dislike me or hate me (we broke up in good terms). It's just weird if he block me now, because I don't even talk to him on msn.

He's been constantly skipping our classes together, and I'm starting to think he dropped the course. I really hope he dropped it due to academic reason, and that it has nothing to do with me whatsoever. Although it is a weird time to drop the course, because there WILL be academic penalty, since is after the like deadline for dropping.

I don't care if we are not friends or whatever, I just don't want to feel hated or dislike. Anyway thanks for reading

Don't worry about what he does. He probably is getting over you, and seeing you brings back memories, or guilt. Who knows what his motivations are. Its his problem and no fault of yours. Between you and Wap, though you make strong arguments against dating classmates or co workers.

JUst keep moving on hun and don't worry about him.. you are doing great, and yes there will still be times you miss him and think about him. It is perfectly normal thing to do and in time though he will fade in those hurtful emotions.

Even without any odd behavior on your part, it was probably still awkward for him to see you in those classes. He may have been able to switch to a different section of the same class without penalty, so while it may be due to you, it's entirely possible that it doesn't have a negative impact on his schooling.

As far as blocking you on MSN goes... it's likely that he's doing that as part of a no-contact regimen on his own part. He may have caught himself checking your status and such on there more often than he felt was healthy, and decided to put a stop to it.

As Tal says, don't worry about what he's doing... his choices are his, not yours. Good or bad, he has to deal with them on his own, and his problems are no longer yours to deal with.

Hi all,

I've recently gotten back in touch with my ex after 1 year and 4 months of no contacts. He was the one that initiated contact, I've originally never intended to get in touch with him again. I must say, I was really surprised to receive a email from him genuinely asking how I was doing.

Without thinking, I responded happily, telling him how my year went, and how much I've grown, and that I have found my passions and dreams in life. This led to a series of email exchange between the both of us. We would email each other everyday, just catching up, our emails are soooo long their size range from 10kb to 20+kb. Telling each other our beliefs and aspiration, etc etc. I feel like I'm getting to know him again, and vice versa. The both of us changed so much since we've last spoken. Or maybe I never really knew him at all, since our relationship ended quickly and abruptly before anything gotten to serious.

I can't help but feel attracted to him all over again, I like how he is confident, strong, have goals and passions in life, and is independent. I feel like I want to better myself when I'm around him (before and now). Now I know I'm getting a bit ahead of myself, I haven't even seen him yet lol... just exchanging email is making me attracted.. I feel like I got it bad.

Anyway, I decided to not act upon my feelings. I planned to just go with the flow, and see where it develops, because although I'm attracted to him, I haven't seen him yet, and the reasons that we broke up in the first place still exists, and the problem is big, and requires two very committed people to solve it. I was even content to just stay as pen-pals or email-pals, or whatever you call it.

Anyhow, he has asked to meet up with me in his latest email and catch up. I am a bit scared. I'm happy with our relationship right now, and I am scared that it will be ruined if I meet up with him. But I do want to see him.

I told him that I can't meet up with him for the next few weeks, because I'm busy. Which is the truth, and he should know it, because I told him how busy my summer schedule was in my previous emails. But would love to meet up with him as soon as my schedule becomes less busy.

Sooo.. right now I plan to just get to know him more, go with the flow, and see where this goes. Maybe my feelings will fade to just wanting to be friends when I see him, who knows. Even if my feelings grow stronger after I meet up, I plan to not act on it, because again I need to get to know him, and also I see a lot of problems between us, sooo I don't want to do anything unless we're on the same page.

What do you guys think?

(my worst fear right now, is that he's reading this LOL)

When you go into things without high expectations, and assumptions, or false hope, you can make rational decisions, and decide on your actions, and his in a realistic way. Don't just let your heart lead you into bad decisions, but weigh, the facts of the matter. YOU have been down this road before, so never forget the lessons you've already learned. Much Luck.

Very true talaniman...
I am trying to get my ex back right now. If she was thinking like you I think I would be the happiest man on the face of the earth. I would give you advice, but with the situation I'm in right now, it would obviously be extremely biased.

For one thing, as we all have, the OP has been through a lot, and made the recovery necessary to make good decisions based on facts, and not just emotions, and has a year of learning and growing under her belt.
https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/search...archid=2814860, as her writing shows. I think she will be okay, and cope with whatever comes up.

Oh geez tal, thanks for making me feel so exposed.. by linking to my embarrassing history lol. But thanks for reassuring me that I've grown :). It means a lot coming from you!

No need for embarrassment, as your story is inspiring in my view.

Take it slow slow !

Hey there, I hope all goes well for you and you're a good advert for NC! : )

Sounds like the guy may be thinking the same way you are but T-man is right you have got to a place where you can make a rational decision, try to keep it that way!

Recently I contacted my ex, it's a long story but I just passed on some info from a friend, I didn't ask how she was or what she's been up to, no kisses on the email just simply the info, I was basically expecting a thank you and that's it... three days later I get a novel back from her asking how I was twice in the email, asking how my parents were and calling me honey and sweetheart, its weird when they get back in touch after a while so I'm airing on the side of severe caution!

Link doesn't work for me...

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/search...archid=2870393

Try this one.

Thanks for sharing. Your story gives me hope for me and my ex in the future. Thank you so much.

Neither of the links worked

Hey guys,

So I thought I'll give an update on what happened after my last entry. It's not the ending I hoped for, but I'm contend with the ending regardless.

So shortly after my last entry, he disappeared on me (we never saw each other before the disappearance). I was upset for a bit, but I just shift back to no contact.

Now half a year later, he contacts me again. From what he's telling me it would appear that he still thinks about me from time to time. But this time, he seemed to open up more, he talked quite a bit about our time together. Replied to him a couple of time, and well long story short, he disappeared again.

Compared the last 2 times that he left, this time I feel a lot more calm and happy. Instead of feeling sad about myself, I feel sad about his behaviour, his immaturity, or maybe his character. Perhaps I was always just an option to him.

This time I really feel a sense of closure, because I have said everything I wanted to say to him. And also I finally realize what he is.

If he were to appear in the future, I am pretty positive that I'll ignore him.

This was a good post, thanks for sharing it with us.

Hello everyone,

Just wanted to update my story again..

I finally met someone new, and he's awesome.

He's also a big contrast to my ex. Now I look back, and realize that my ex wasn't great at all...

The new guy pay attention to the things I say, treats me like a lady, and would make time for me despite his busy schedule.

I am really happy, and I'm definitely going to cherish this guy.

So there's light at the end of the tunnel. Stick with NC, and move on! You'll never know what's in store for you :)

Quote:

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Originally Posted by kaitou

hello everyone,

Just wanted to update my story again..

I finally met someone new, and he's awesome.

He's also a big contrast to my ex. Now i look back, and realize that my ex wasn't great at all...

The new guy pay attention to the things i say, treats me like a lady, and would make time for me despite his busy schedule.

I am really happy, and i'm definitely gonna cherish this guy.

so there's light at the end of the tunnel. Stick with NC, and move on! You'll never know what's in store for you :)

---

That's great news. Now... just take it slow, no epectations, and have FUN!!

So update again, I don't know how many people actually read my thread LOL, but I just want to update it for people that has been following my story.

My relationship with the new guy didn't work out, but we're now great friends :)

I wrote to my ex recently (the guy I talked about in my first post), I was stress, sad, and disappointed about various things in my life. I was speaking to him as if he was my confidant.

I didn't expect a reply. Basically I wrote the email, thinking it's like a message in a bottle that you throw into the sea, but in this case I know someone will read it LOL

But a few weeks later, he wrote me a longass reply.

Basically telling me that the moments we had were special, and something that he cherished, and that it is something he never shared with anyone else. And apparently that's why he always send me incoherent emails, 2 years later after our break up

Apparently, I am the person he wants to turn to when he's lonely, and sad, or just missing the "moments we had". And he was pleasantly surprise that he was that person for me too.

Also, apparently the past couple of years, he has actually written me long long emails (a couple of them) that he ended up deleting, because he thought they were inappropriate, or that I probably hated him LOL.

He concluded that, because what we had was special that we'll always send the occasional email to each other. And that he is more than happy to be my confidant.

With that said. I didn't completely stick with NC, but I broke it after I have healed. What he wrote was so genuine, and sweet! I couldn't ask for a better closure. I can finally say I've found my peace.

I wrote him a reply, and for the first time ever, there was really no ulterior motives. I don't know how many of you would actually believe me, but I REALLY REALLY mean it this time.

I can't believe I am saying this (and mean it), but I'm finally ready to just be friends :).. or just a non-romantic online friend..