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-   -   Does he really like me or just for fun? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=532981)

  • Dec 8, 2010, 09:36 PM
    Jessicacn
    Does he really like me or just for fun?
    We met two months before. And we keep meeting up twice or three times per week. But we mostly stay at his apt . Yes, we went swimming and dinner outside. But only one or two time in two months. I never saw his friends and neither he saw mine... I have feeling for him, but I think I need to be careful before falling into him. And advice?
  • Dec 9, 2010, 12:30 AM
    flowerchildfala
    If 5 out of 10 or more times is just you guys going to his apartment to be physical then I think he's just using you and isn't really into you. A guy that's interested in you for more then your body will wait for sex and intimacy and if you say no, he will be completely fine with it. If you've known him for 2 months and only once or twice you have gone out of the apartment to dinner and swimming, this is a bg sign that he's most likely using you! I'm so sorry to tell you that! I had to learn this the hard way with a guy I was dating who just wanted me for my body and I thought he loved me! The best thing right now is to tell him you want to spend time getting out of the apartment and maybe say that every 3 times you go out to dinner or anything else besides his apartment then the fourth time you can come over to his apartment. Keep doing that and see what happens, if he becoms distant then he doesn't really care about you. Talk to him about how you feel asweel. I did with my ex but he would only tell me that he was sorry then he would go back to pressuring me to be intimate with him! If you have the feeling your being used for just fun, then most likely you are! And if your asking this question then mostl likely you are being used! Listen to your gut feeling! Guys will say ANYTHING to get in your pants so be careful! Good luck hun!! If your with a guy and you know he truly likes you and it's not just for your body, then you'll know but if you have doubts then listen to them because they will be right 9/10 times!!
  • Dec 9, 2010, 01:44 AM
    Jessicacn
    Comment on flowerchildfala's post
    Thank you... But he calls me everyday. Should I still in contact with him?
  • Dec 9, 2010, 06:45 AM
    lonely2010

    I 100% agree with what flowerchildfala said!!
    Its truth. I had similar experience with flowerchildfala, but I didn't sex with him. I confused the same thing as what you are confusing now.. mostly the answer is that he's NOT so INTO you, if he loves u,he would like you to meet his friends and take you into his world,which is not totally matched with what you are talking about . U better get away from him if you don't want to be hurt. And yes, trust your feelings, mostly they are right.
  • Dec 10, 2010, 01:10 AM
    Jessicacn
    Thank you! Longly2010.
    Always taking caution before we jump into relationship.
  • Dec 10, 2010, 12:55 PM
    I wish

    I would say that you are thinking too much. Just keep getting to know each other better. Give it time to see how things develop.

    Don't do anything that you're uncomfortable with.
  • Dec 10, 2010, 07:32 PM
    flowerchildfala
    You can stay in contact but stop the physical side of the relationship and see what happens, if he's understanding about it and doesn't pressure you then he's a good guy. If on the other hand he makes a big deal of it, gets distant, or pressures you then he's a jerk and you are better off without him!!
  • Dec 11, 2010, 01:04 AM
    Jessicacn
    Hey. Flowerchildfala... If I refused to sex with him for few times, he is okay, he will not leave me... but of course I know he likes me and if I go his apt, he is happy to see me there... thank you for your help. I feel much better now...

    Hey . "I wish", I agree with you... just go and to see what happens later... He called me twice today. I have told him I am looking for long relationship already...
  • Dec 12, 2010, 05:58 PM
    Jessicacn
    Does my new guy date another girl at the same time?
    Hey. Guys. Would you give me how do you think of my situation?

    He is a business man and we have met for two months.I went to his apt as he called me to come over. We had dinner , sex ,watched TV and I left, I enjoyed the time with him. But during the time we were together, a call rang , he did not reply,later, he received 5 messages and he replied them( I do not what the messages talk about). He hold the phone when we were talking or put the phone on the table where he could see it when we had dinner. He told me that the messages and the call was about business.

    I told him that I was looking for serious relationship by text several days before. He did not reply my sms. So, I sent a text asking if he still like to meet me, he said yes.

    Last night, he said he was not sure he wanted serious relationship. So, I asked him what he wanted --- " Casual relationship" or " Only sex"? He said he needed more than sex. I asked him " what can I do?". He said he just needed some time to develop it but he was not sure about it now and did not want to hurt me. I asked him" do you want me leave you?" He said "nono, you are so lovely, and you are dangerous" I asked why I was dangerous? He said he did not want to jump into serious love, but now, he maybe think about it but needed time. I said " okay, take your time, but just let me know you do not like me, and you can leave me at any time."

    So, does he dated another girl at the same time? What should I do?

    Many thanks


  • Dec 12, 2010, 08:08 PM
    tlewis21
    Excellent BS if you fall for it keep on trucking... Some people love BS.
  • Dec 12, 2010, 08:20 PM
    Jessicacn
    Comment on tlewis21's post
    What is BS? I do not know what you mean
  • Dec 12, 2010, 08:28 PM
    tlewis21
    I should have never answered this comment. Did'nt know I was on a teen site...

    I answered a teen website in error. Just think happy.
  • Dec 12, 2010, 08:56 PM
    Aleeravilu
    Comment on tlewis21's post
    Ah no this is no where near being just a teen website. The ages of people here vary from 14-60, even more. So don't worry, just say it. But not all of them come from English speaking countries, so slang might not be clearly understood here
  • Dec 12, 2010, 09:04 PM
    Aleeravilu
    About your problem, he's a business man. And most business men are very calculating. He has to make his decision.
    The phone calls, maybe he was busy and expecting some news, but the fact that you're doubting him even before the relationship gets serious, it means that you can't trust him. And for the love of God, do not talk about serious things through texts, it's like the most not serious way. You even said he could leave you anytime! Seriously o.0?? You want a serious relationship and you said That?? Wrong move. He would think that you're no where near being serious!
  • Dec 12, 2010, 09:14 PM
    Fr_Chuck

    First no, this is not posted on the teen area (we do have a teen area)

    I guess why should he not be dating 2 or 3 or more people, he has not made any commitment and is not obligated to tell you if he is or is not dating someone else.
  • Dec 12, 2010, 09:28 PM
    Jessicacn
    Comment on Aleeravilu's post
    Aleeravilu: he said he did not want to hurt me, what can I say? Yes, this is nothing for sure. But I just want to know the truth.
    Fr: You have your reason. Thanks. I just wait to see what happen...
  • Dec 19, 2010, 06:42 AM
    Jessicacn
    If I want to live with him together, should I ask him or not?
    I dated a guy for 2 or 3 months, if I like to live with him together, should I ask him directly or not... I just worry about that he would be scared away...
  • Dec 19, 2010, 06:45 AM
    sxeci
    Scared away? Well 2- 3 months.. that means you guys just started loving not to long,I advice you don not live with him as he will get to accustom with you, do not ask him yet.. give it a year to see how you guys get along and then you could look forward to asking him,but for now be patience and try getting to know each other
  • Dec 19, 2010, 07:17 AM
    redhed35

    He may go running for the hills!

    Take your time get to know each other and enjoy the relationship as it unfolds.

    Living together is a big step that most couples don't consider so early in a relationship.

    My advice is enjoy wants happening now,and take your time getting to know each other.
  • Dec 19, 2010, 07:50 AM
    Jessicacn
    Comment on redhed35's post
    I know what you are talking. But I like to sleep beside him... so.. okay. Maybe still have to hold on...
  • Dec 19, 2010, 08:09 AM
    Jessicacn
    Should I expect him to call me every day?
    We are dating for 2 or 3 months, as a girl, I expect he call me everyday. But he does not.Of course, I do not make a call if he does not call me. Sometimes, he send me sms to say hallo... he always call me or text me every two days... does he really like me?
  • Dec 19, 2010, 08:17 AM
    J_9

    How old are you? Don't smother him.
  • Dec 19, 2010, 08:53 AM
    joypulv
    I'm not so sure that I agree about waiting to see what he says, since someone has to bring it up, right?
    Is it fair that men are assumed to be more skittish about living together?
    One question I have is, do you expect to move in with him, him with you, or you find a place together?
    Another question is if you are ready, since you are here asking if it's OK. If you were ready, I think you would be more comfortable about the subject with him already. It doesn't sound like you know each other well enough, or you would have a sense of how he feels.

    It's certainly OK to say 'I want to be able to sleep next to you all night long.' Depending on his response, yo may have to think about whether you want to go on like this much longer.
  • Dec 19, 2010, 09:00 AM
    Jessicacn
    Comment on joypulv's post

    I said that already... during weekend, if I want to. I can stay overnights.. but he is business man. He is not free every weekend... I like to stay overnight with him. Not to find a place to stay.. I am so sure about that...

    Comment on J_9's post

    If possiblly I can do. I chose never fall in love. So suffering.. . You call that smother? Are you a girl or boy? I do not know. I like to the guy show me his care to me
  • Dec 19, 2010, 03:32 PM
    talaniman

    Reading and merging all your questions leads me to believe you think you struck gold and are ready to sell the farm and move to the city. Better slow down and pay closer attention before you get hurt young girl. Sorry but you sound young, and eager,. and reckless. You better find out if the glitter you see is real gold, or fools gold. That may take some time.
  • Dec 23, 2010, 06:51 AM
    Jessicacn
    Just feel he is not such involved.. will I leave or stay?
    He can do not call me for several days. That makes me feel I am not needed. Sometimes I called him , he replied me next day, that makes me feel he is dating another girl...
    But he would like to spend chris max night with me after his function dinner like he told me... beside, he usually spare one day of weekend with me...
    I am getting tired by those slow process.
    Leave him? Or just need a break... I just feel he is not so involved. I do not know what he is looking for. Or he just stay with me before find another one?
    Need your guys opinion... thanks
  • Dec 23, 2010, 07:40 AM
    I wish

    Why would you need a break? You already don't even seen him enough.

    If he's not giving you what you want, then let him know. If he still can't do it, then you're better off breaking up with him and finding someone else.
  • Dec 23, 2010, 07:45 AM
    answerme_tender

    I really think you need to go with your own instincts!! Don't you want more out of a relationship. You deserve someone who will make you feel that you ARE important part of his life, and not be made to feel that he just is being forced to make time for you!! Good luck
  • Dec 23, 2010, 08:35 AM
    wonderlife
    Are you mostly happy or mostly unhappy with the relationship? Only you can tell what's it that you want in the relationship and again it's you who knows best whether he can reciprocate your love and care in the same way or in the way that you want.

    Did you two ever talk about this topic of what you expect and what he expects in the relationship and how can you two make it work together? I think having honest communication is crucial.

    But if he always dismiss your concerns or your thoughts or avoid communication, then I think you should evaluate the relationship with this guy.
  • Dec 23, 2010, 08:57 AM
    Jessicacn
    Comment on I wish's post
    See him through? I think the less calls he make, the more like he cheat... What is difficult to make a call or text everyday. That needs 2 mints out of 24 hours..
  • Dec 23, 2010, 11:04 AM
    I wish

    It's starting to sound more and more like he's not as serious as you would like. It doesn't seem like you're looking for the same things in this relationship.

    I think you're better off breaking up and finding someone else who has more in common with you.
  • Dec 24, 2010, 04:54 AM
    Jessicacn
    He called me ask me" when are you going to meet me? I need to arrange a schedule"... so. I gave him the time I were free. He would spare his time to meet me... does he date others at the same time? Or really be so busy?

    I feel less and less interesting to see him... bcz I feel I am not needed. Should I be more understanding? Or tell him what I feel? He told me I was too emotional before.. . should I tell him what I feel now or just keep silence to see what happen?
  • Dec 24, 2010, 06:44 AM
    talaniman

    You sure are in a hurry for a girl who vowed not to fall in love. Frankly I think he says and does just enough for you to keep chasing him. Further your expectations and hopes are of one who IS in love, or think you are. He must certain;y be enjoying it all unlike you who want more.

    Two or three months of dating is way to soon to know anything, but the sex is confusing all your senses and has you in a romantic fantasy land that makes you insecure and a bit needy of his attention. When you don't get it, you are frustrated.

    Keep telling yourself, he is still a stranger, and there is much to learn, and deal with this dating thing from a safer distance for your heart so you can pay better attention, and learn about his mind, and what's really on it, and not just his body.

    What's really obvious from what you have written, you are chasing your heart, and no matter what he has told you, you still chase. He said he wasn't to keen on anything but a casual relationship, but added your dangerous, filling you with a lot of hope.

    As a guy you are known as an easy available person to him. You want to know if its real or fun, simply be less available for fun, and sex, matter of fact, replace the sex with more fun, and more TALKING, AND MORE PAYING ATTENTION TO WHAT HIS WORDS AND ACTIONS SAY. Give them thought, and ask questions, and not the emotional needy ones that only keep you running after a guy who isn't running after you.

    So far, you are his secret lover he calls to his apartment, when he has time in his busy schedule. If his interest was what you think it is, wouldn't he want to hear your voice more? He doesn't have to do that now because a text/call has you running to him, he doesn't have to chase very hard does he?

    Back off and pay attention, and protect your heart, and find out if he is interested, or just wants fun from a too available lady.

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