Make a long story short. I am 30 my girlfriend is 20. We have dated for three months (Don't ask me how, we just set it off). For the last month and a half she has had migraines and was not feeling well. She stopped the kissing, hugging, sex, holding hands, and everything else that couples do except the phone calls. We hung out a lot but it was like hanging out with your cousin. She was very irate with me. Always yelling, always saying I was doing something wrong. So naturally we got into a lot of silly arguments. Because she was making me feel like she was not into me. She kept saying that its not me and its her health. I kept bringing it up like a dumb . I could not let it go, I had to stand up for myself because she would treat me like a friend when I would try so hard to be her boyfriend. She dumped me a couple days ago, saying that she is tired of feeling like she can't make me happy and that she has other things to stress about. She cites her health and the fact she doesn't feel well (migraines) every time I say something even during the break up. Here is what I am torn about: Did I lose this girl because of constantly bringing up the fact that she was acting like a friend? Or is she just too immature and young to handle a relationship? I fell for this girl hard over the last three months. She hasn't returned my two phone calls and only texted me this "I don't think we should see each other till I'm better. Its too hard". That's all, no calls, nothing. I don't know what to do. The hardest part is did I make her run and lost her because of my arguments? I am full of regret and extremely depressed that I pushed it too much. But I just wanted to be treated fairly and just wanted her to be the same when we met. I love her very much but I am afraid because she is so young. Is she coming back? Should I try to reach out again? What should I do to get her back? Can I get her back if I give her space? Or is this one gone. Was she ever into me? I don't have experience dealing with young girls but I think I let my guard down here. I apologized and told her I would never question her health again over text but to no avail. Please help because the regrets are killing me. I have only felt this way with only one other woman in my life. Please understand that the age difference is big but sometimes you just can't help who you fall for. I don't know what to do, I feel like I lost her but I was told that standing up for yourself was always the right thing to do as a man. I was also taught that people who really care for you do not leave you just like that. The hardest thing in the world is when a man loves a woman and that woman does not love him. It's the worst feeling in the world. But what's even worse is blaming yourself for it.

Actually friend you were the immature one. You knew full well that she had a problem, but instead of helping and being patient and attentive , you chose your own needs over hers, selfishly. So when she got tired of it, she took the right action, dumping you. So now you see the error of your ways and she is supposed to take that at face value and comeback to you? Not if she's smart she won't. Take your lumps like a man and leave her alone to deal with her own problems, she already knows you can't help, only hurt, so for now move on. She doesn't need your whining about getting back with you or deserve that kind of pressure. Maybe someday you can talk when you learn better about being more sensetive to her needs and not so selfish and demanding about your own, but it will take more than a week, or month to do that. For now think of her, and not you and leave her alone, see if she calls you. If not take it as a sign to stay away.

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But I just wanted to be treated fairly and just wanted her to be the same when we met. I love her very much but I am afraid because she is so young. Is she coming back? Should I try to reach out again?

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SELFISH gobble d goop. From here to the end you show how immature and selfish you are, she is suffering and you think that she should cater to your needs and you think that, thats standing up for yourself? I don't think so and obviously neither did she. Leave her alone and work on yourself.

She's just twenty fella, she's probably not ready for a serious relationship yet. Were you ready for something serious at twenty? Try not to be negative, and give her some space, if it's meant to be she'll come back.

You stated that you dated for 3 months. Honestly, I know it is easy to let your guard down, or believe your in love with somebody, but not that quickly. This girl has her own problems. You need to let this one go. Yes, the age difference does matter and probably would be a problem at some point. I do believe there is a fine line. You should have been more patient and understanding. At the same time after a certain amount of time I do believe that you need to speak your mind and say how you feel. Tal is right, you pushed it way too far, way too soon. Take this as a learning lesson and move on. Do I think it is done, it is defiantly over, defiantly done. Apologizing now, begging and phoning will just make it worse. End all contact and move on.

Joe

Suffering? She is going out with her friends and partying and doing everything with her friends and she is suffering. I admit I was selfish but not immature. Why is it bad to ask questions when someone stops everything so soon in the relationship? Wouldn't that make you question her statements? I didn't know her long enough to realize she was so sick. She sure didn't act like it away from me. She is 20 and I probably should have my answer right there. I just wanted to know if this is gone. I regret being selfish but I don't regret asking what the hell is going on? Maybe she just wasn't into me I guess.

Look Trent, although many people say age is just a number, well it is once you get to a certain age. However, she was not at that age yet. The 10 years between 20 and 30 are BIG years. There is a BIG psychologically developmental difference between 20 and 30.

She is going out with her friends and partying right? That just goes to show that she is not on the same developmental page as you.

Now, you were only dating 3 months. Maybe you pushed too fast and too furious. She was not ready for that yet. Maybe you were a fad to her, not a permanent fixture.

Best thing now is to leave her alone to do her own thing. Do not contact her at all as this is apparently what she wants.

Would any of you call her and see if she is okay when she goes to the doctor next week?
I have so much guilt right now.

Do you really want to give strangers her phone number? I am sure she will feel good about a bunch of strangers from the internet calling her to see how her app went. Lol

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Originally Posted by trent25

would any of you call her and see if she is okay when she goes to the doctor next week?
I have so much guilt right now.

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I'll call her! :p

Oh, that's not what you had in mind. You want to know if we think you should call her, right?

No, don't call her. She is yesterday's news.

Have you heard of NC? It means No Contact. Once a couple breaks up (and that means that the relationship is broken, hence breaks) they should maintin the NC rule. No contact of any kind, shape, or form.

If she does not want to be with you, then she probably does not want to hear from you. If you call you are just sounding needy. Women don't want needy men, we want strong men. Keep strong and don't contact her.

Let her 20 year old friends take care of her now! That is what she wants, so let her have it.

You have guilt about what? Sheesh, she is 20 and she is acting like she is 20. You know when you were 20 she was 10!! What do you feel guilty about? Did you cheat on her? No. Did you beat her up? I hope not. You have nothing to feel guilty about. You 2 are just on different developmental pages. Let her go be 20 and you find someone closer to 30.

Hi trent,
I had a boyfriend about 2 years ago and at first I thought I was so in love with him but after a couple of months my feelings changed. I knew he was so in love with me and would be devastated if I told him my feelings had changed so instead I started treating him really bad, I would talk to him like he was stupid stopped kissing him and cuddling him thinking that this would make him leave me but it didn't he just tried harder and harder. In the end I told him that it wasn't him it was me and I needed some space from the relationship and maybe we could get back together after a break. He called and texted but I hardly ever responded. It took a while but in the end he gave up.
Don't think that you have done anything wrong, some peoples feelings just change sometimes. Don't try to contact her anymore now, if she wants to be with you she will get in contact. The more you try the further you are pushing her away. Move on and be happy.

I hope all you fellows read this and learn something!!

I don't think you did anything wrong. I don't think she was ready for a relationship. Forget about this one and move on.

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Originally Posted by trent25

Make a long story short. I am 30 my girlfriend is 20. We have dated for three months (Don't ask me how, we just set it off). For the last month and a half she has had migraines and was not feeling well. She stopped the kissing, hugging, sex, holding hands, and everything else that couples do except the phone calls.

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She was giving you the clues right there she wasn’t interested. She was hoping you would take it but you didn’t.

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Originally Posted by trent25

We hung out a lot but it was like hanging out with your cousin. She was very irate with me. Always yelling, always saying I was doing something wrong. So naturally we got into a lot of silly arguments. Because she was making me feel like she was not into me.

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She was making you feel this way for a reason. She was not into you.

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Originally Posted by trent25

She kept saying that its not me and its her health.

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Because that takes the blame and guilt off her. She was hoping you would get so tired of her behavior you would leave.

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Originally Posted by trent25

I kept bringing it up like a dumb . I could not let it go, I had to stand up for myself because she would treat me like a friend when I would try so hard to be her boyfriend.

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Hint.

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Originally Posted by trent25

She dumped me a couple days ago, saying that she is tired of feeling like she can't make me happy and that she has other things to stress about.

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You never got the hint and the holidays are over so this was the next step.

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Originally Posted by trent25

She cites her health and the fact she doesn't feel well (migraines) everytime I say something even during the break up.

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Yep, takes the blame off her.

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Originally Posted by trent25

Here is what I am torn about: Did I lose this girl because of constantly bringing up the fact that she was acting like a friend?

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You lost her because in only 3 short months you fell deeply “in love” and were pushy, needy and constantly not getting the hint that she wasn’t into you.

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Originally Posted by trent25

Or is she just too immature and young to handle a relationship?

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Actually I find that younger woman like older guys because they are more mature and don’t become obsessed, pushy, and needy like younger guys. To be honest I’d bet your age was a reason for her attraction to you. Unfortunately, you acted like a 18 year old so that attraction quickly ended.

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Originally Posted by trent25

I fell for this girl hard over the last three months.

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Very easy to fall for someone quick. My guess is she was the first girl to come along in some time so you went overboard. But my hunch would be you don’t love her but rather love the idea of having someone. The truth is you don’t know her well enough to love her.

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Originally Posted by trent25

She hasn't returned my two phone calls and only texted me this "I don't think we should see each other till I'm better. Its too hard". That's all, no calls, nothing.

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She doesn’t owe a call nor is she under any obligation to answer one from you. Honestly, she’s trying to let you down easy or protect herself because you are coming off unstable as it relates to this 3 month courtship. But leave her alone and figure out why you acting like this.

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Originally Posted by trent25

I don't know what to do.

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Leave her alone. Forever. She’s not interested. Then figure out why you fell so hard so quick. This is not a knock on you but you have a lot of emotional maturity to work on. Start doing that.

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Originally Posted by trent25

The hardest part is did I make her run and lost her because of my arguments?

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No you made her run and lost her because you were pushy and needy. She, by your own admission, started these arguments. She was trying to get rid of you by showing you she was a . Even when she put up that front you still wouldn’t take the hint and leave.

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I am full of regret and extremely depressed that I pushed it too much. But I just wanted to be treated fairly and just wanted her to be the same when we met.

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You mean for the first 6 weeks?

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Originally Posted by trent25

I love her very much but I am afraid because she is so young.

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Youth had nothing to do with this.

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Originally Posted by trent25

Is she coming back?

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No. Never.

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Originally Posted by trent25

Should I try to reach out again?

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No. You are scaring her.

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Originally Posted by trent25

What should I do to get her back?

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Dude you had your chance and you blew it. You should learn from it and take it slow. But you can’t get her back. Quite honestly you come off as a stalker.

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Originally Posted by trent25

Can i get her back if I give her space?

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No. She’s not interested.

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Originally Posted by trent25

Or is this one gone.

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Gone.

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Originally Posted by trent25

Was she ever into me?

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For the first couple weeks until you started scaring her. Then she put up a front to scare you away. That didn’t work, so she turned it up. That didn’t work so she finally had to let you go and used an out so that you would leave her alone. That didn’t work either and now she has told you to leave her alone.

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Originally Posted by trent25

I don't have experience dealing with young girls but I think I let my guard down here.

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You deal with younger women by showing maturity. It’s something they can’t get from guys there age and it’s something they want. But all women and men from any age group want someone who isn’t desperate and want to have fun and be full of life.

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Originally Posted by trent25

I apologized and told her i would never question her health again over text but to no avail.

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She doesn’t care. Come on.

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Originally Posted by trent25

Please help because the regrets are killing me.

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No they are not. Heart disease kills you this is a bad time in your life.

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Originally Posted by trent25

I have only felt this way with only one other woman in my life. Please understand that the age difference is big but sometimes you just can't help who you fall for.

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I agree with you there. But you feel for her, she did not fall for you. She was initially attracted to you but that was it.

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Originally Posted by trent25

I don't know what to do, I feel like i lost her but I was told that standing up for yourself was always the right thing to do as a man.

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Standing up for yourself is the always the right thing to do as a man. But she never challenged you manhood. She was trying to get rid of you. She was hoping you’d get the hint.

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Originally Posted by trent25

I was also taught that people who really care for you do not leave you just like that.

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After 12 weeks? Six weeks of which were spent by her trying to get rid of you. Come on man. I’m an extremely emotional person but this was not serious and you know it. And she never cared for you. She was attracted to you.

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Originally Posted by trent25

The hardest thing in the world is when a man loves a woman and that woman does not love him. Its the worst feeling in the world. But what's even worse is blaming yourself for it.

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Really what about being sent to prison for rape only to find out after 26 years that the story was made up. I’d bet that be worse. That actually happened to a guy in Tampa, Florida. That’s a lifetime emotional problem that he can never escape.

That has nothing to do with you but you going way overboard for a 12 week fling. Ironically enough your inability to control your feelings is what lead her to pull away.

Had to spread it Chuff but the above post is what id call great Chuffing!!

Brilliant response.

I know it might be hard reading for you Trent, but Chuff is right in everything he says here. He isn't being rude or judging you so don't bite back. Read his response over and over and be honest with yourself.

He makes a lot of great points that I picked up when reading you initial post.

She was definitely trying hard to make you leave her. All the excuses about health are just alibis. She wanted out but she didn't want to do the dirty work. So instead she tried her best to get you to do it. You didn't get the hint, so instead she came up with a lame excuse to get out.

Also, you should learn your lesson here. You have fallen way to hard for someone you hardly know. You only just met this girl. It isn't love. It is lust, smitten. Love takes months and years to develop and grow and only comes from a healthy and BALANCED relationship. Which this clearly wasn't!

And yes, it is hard and it hurts like hell. In fact right now in this point in your life it does feel like the worst thing that could happen to you and you do feel like its killing you.

But guess what, it isn't the worst thing that can happen to you and it isn't killing you. In fact it is doing quite the opposite. It is teaching you some valuable lessons that will help you grow and mature as a person. You will actually be a better person for this. Not dead.

Good luck and please stick around and keep posting your thoughts and problems.

chuff,

After 4 weeks she wanted me to meet her parents, talked about children, wanted a promise ring. Wanted to move away with me if I moved for work. Was she not taking things too fast? What was I suppose to do? Yes, I did pull away but it was too fast too soon and I may have fallen for her while I tried to pull away. She gave me everything I wanted and constantly wanted to hang out. I tried to keep my distance. One day all that stopped. She started losing her hair, migraines, had low sex drive and I over reacted. I tried desperately to get her back but sometimes I thought she was crazy. I became CONCERNED with her and tried to get her back. I wanted to fix everything cause I thought that this was not her. Not needy, I told her that I was going to leave her and it was not working, she cried and told me its not me and its her. She was not the same person. But things got worse and she kept on changing for the worse. Many times I said we should stop and stopped calling, she kept bringing me back in. If your theory is true, than somebody just dumped me for helping and bringing her back to lively person. I was selfish, but I told her even holding hands would be enough. I was getting nothing. I should have dumped her, you may be right. But I thought she would change. She stayed home, didn't want to go out, went to bed, always fatalistic and depressed. I tried my off for her to snap out of it. I did not bring up the future all the time, she did. Even to the end. But one day she snapped. She was talking about baptizing kids if we had any for christ's sake seven days before she broke up. I was scared but I didn't really care. My mistake was pushing it and not being a friend. Maybe she just wanted a friend. I respect your opinion but please know that dating a 20 year old was like walking an eggshell everyday. Had to be intresting, fun, unpredictable, EVERYDAY. Sometimes you just want your girlfriend to be a girlfriend and I lost. I don't think I was needy, I just wanted to help.

On a side note, for those who think I should have no confusion about this.


On new year's eve: made resolution's for what we should do health wise TOGETHER for the new year

Christmas: Wanted me to come over to her parents for dinner and introduced me to her siblings.

7 days before the dump: Wanted to baptize any children we could have.

3 days before the dump: Wanted to switch over the cell phones because she was losing too many minutes.

10 days before the dump: Wanted to know where we would be living and where she should apply to school next year.

I offered and attempted to leave three times; cried three times and reassured me it wasn't me.

One night she snapped.

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Originally Posted by trent25

chuff,

after 4 weeks she wanted me to meet her parents,

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I've met parents on the first night I've gone out with someone. Was I supposed to think that met lifetime commitment?

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Originally Posted by trent25

talked about children,

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She talked about children….. like every woman does when they say, “someday in the future I want to have a boy and girl” or like a woman who is trying to get rid of a guy by scaring the hell out of him and after 6 weeks and saying, “I want your children and I've already started picking out names.”

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Originally Posted by trent25

wanted a promise ring.

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So what? Girls like jewelry. She was seeing if she could get you to buy her some.

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Originally Posted by trent25

Wanted to move away with me if I moved for work.

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I'd be curious to know when exactly that was brought up. At the beginning of the 12 weeks or the middle of the 12 weeks when she started pulling away

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Originally Posted by trent25

Was she not taking things too fast?

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She was trying to scare you into leaving her. Most guys run when women start talking about kids in a short time. Most guys run when after just 6 weeks she starts yelling constantly for no reason. Most guys run when she starts talking about a future together in such a short time span. Most guys leave when she doesn't want to hold hands, kiss, have sex or be around you. You did not run. Instead you kept coming at her. She threw everything in the leave me alone playbook at you and you didn't catch any of it.

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Originally Posted by trent25

What was I suppose to do? Yes, I did pull away but it was too fast too soon and I may have fallen for her while I tried to pull away.

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While you did fall for her quickly but if you pull away you stay away. Coming back just makes you look weak and scares her even more.

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Originally Posted by trent25

She gave me everything I wanted and constantly wanted to hang out. I tried to keep my distance. One day all that stopped. She started losing her hair, migraines, had low sex drive and I over reacted. I tried desperately to get her back but sometimes I thought she was crazy.

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I'm a little confused as to how you went from “I tried to keep my distance” to “I tried desperately to get her back. I can tell you were desperate. It's painfully easy to see in what you've written. But being desperate is what drives women away. Look be honest with me and yourself here, You're a emotional man, you've had some bad experiences in the past with women where they've taken advantage of that and you quit dating for awhile. You weren't looking for this, it just kind of happened out of nowhere and it had been so long since you've dated that you went overboard. You kind of forgot the basics, and you weren't slow about this. Because it had been so long since you last dated someone you feel immediately in love with the idea of being in love. In her attempts, which I will side with you on by the way were immature and not honest, but none the less her attempts to scare you into leaving actually worked backwards and only strengthened your commitment or your attempt at a commitment.

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Originally Posted by trent25

I became CONCERNED with her and tried to get her back. I wanted to fix everything cause I thought that this was not her. Not needy, i told her that I was going to leave her and it was not working, she cried and told me its not me and its her. She was not the same person. But things got worse and she kept on changing for the worse. Many times I said we should stop and stopped calling, she kept bringing me back in. If your theory is true, than somebody just dumped me for helping and bringing her back to lively person.

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In other words if being a complete an utter didn't work she took it in the other direction and just became her happy go lucky self through the holidays then ended it.

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Originally Posted by trent25

I was selfish, but I told her even holding hands would be enough. I was getting nothing.

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She wanted nothing.

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Originally Posted by trent25

I should have dumped her, you may be right. But I thought she would change.

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Let's be honest, you didn't know her after 12 weeks. You also had been out of the dating scene and this happened so you overreacted.

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Originally Posted by trent25

She stayed home, didn't want to go out, went to bed, always fatalistic and depressed. I tried my off for her to snap out of it. I did not bring up the future all the time, she did.

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I know.

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Originally Posted by trent25

Even to the end.

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Yes, I know. She was trying to scare you into leaving. Most guys run at this stuff after 12 weeks.

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Originally Posted by trent25

But one day she snapped. She was talking about baptizing kids if we had any for christ's sake seven days before she broke up.

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She snapped because you couldn't take the hint.

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Originally Posted by trent25

I was scared but I didn't really care. My mistake was pushing it and not being a friend.

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Partly true. You mistake was pushing her.

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Originally Posted by trent25

Maybe she just wanted a friend.

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Maybe she just wanted to be left alone.

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Originally Posted by trent25

I respect your opinion but please know that dating a 20 year old was like walking an eggshell everyday.

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Dude, I'm a 30 years old and I manage a two bars and I get hit on all the time by women who are 21, and have dated some of them. I've had 18 year olds inquire about me who work in my hotels, and I can assure you it's not because I'm some great looking guy. With all due respect to you that age thing is a BS excuse for you not to face reality. If you were outgoing, relaxed, not needy, funny, and stern your age would be seen as a benefit not a hindrance by younger women. Is a 20 year old at a different point in her life, yes she is. Does she want to get out and party. Yes she does. But here's what she also faces from 20 year old guys, conversations revolving around the guy, guys that just want her for sex, and not take her anywhere, and guys that can't offer any kind of incite about life. Hell no she doesn't want to settle down at 20 she wants to have fun, but if you were offered her some fun things and different things to do then coming over and doing the same thing she can do anytime she's not going to be interested. Using the excuse that she's 20 is the reason she dumped you is not realistic or the truth as it relates to this situation.

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Originally Posted by trent25

Had to be intresting, fun, unpredictable, EVERYDAY.

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You mean like with women who are aged 30, 40, 50 and beyond. Every woman wants that. For that matter every guy wants that. Do you think any woman just wants a guy to come home and watch TV for hours? Many women accept that, but none of them want it.

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Originally Posted by trent25

Sometimes you just want your girlfriend to be a girlfriend and I lost. I don't think I was needy, I just wanted to help.

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I know you wanted to help. I'm not saying you weren't attempting to do the right thing. But when keep pushing her and she is obviously giving you the hints to back off, this is the result. I don't think you should beat yourself up over it, but learn from it so you don't repeat this mistake

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Originally Posted by trent25

On a side note, for those who think I should have no confusion about this.


On new year's eve: made resolution's for what we should do health wise TOGETHER for the new year

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You mean to tell me she broke a new year’s resolution?

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Originally Posted by trent25

Christmas: Wanted me to come over to her parents for dinner and introduced me to her siblings.

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It’s the holidays. People are nice.

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Originally Posted by trent25

7 days before the dump: Wanted to baptize any children we could have.

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Tried to scare you talking about children.

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Originally Posted by trent25

3 days before the dump: Wanted to switch over the cell phones because she was losing too many minutes.

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So her contract came up and she’s a conscientious shopper.

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Originally Posted by trent25

10 days before the dump: Wanted to know where we would be living and where she should apply to school next year.

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That didn’t scare you either, huh.

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Originally Posted by trent25

I offered and attempted to leave three times; cried three times and reassured me it wasn't me.

One night she snapped.

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Women cry a lot. Women are emotional. Women cry when there happy. Women cry just to cry. Women can cry and make you feel a certain way. This woman tried to take the guilt off herself by claiming it wasn’t her.

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Originally Posted by trent25

Make a long story short. I am 30 my girlfriend is 20. We have dated for three months (Don't ask me how, we just set it off). For the last month and a half she has had migraines and was not feeling well. She stopped the kissing, hugging, sex, holding hands, and everything else that couples do except the phone calls. We hung out a lot but it was like hanging out with your cousin. She was very irate with me. Always yelling, always saying I was doing something wrong. So naturally we got into a lot of silly arguments. Because she was making me feel like she was not into me. She kept saying that its not me and its her health. I kept bringing it up like a dumb . I could not let it go, I had to stand up for myself because she would treat me like a friend when I would try so hard to be her boyfriend. She dumped me a couple days ago, saying that she is tired of feeling like she can't make me happy and that she has other things to stress about. She cites her health and the fact she doesn't feel well (migraines) everytime I say something even during the break up. Here is what I am torn about: Did I lose this girl because of constantly bringing up the fact that she was acting like a friend? Or is she just too immature and young to handle a relationship? I fell for this girl hard over the last three months. She hasn't returned my two phone calls and only texted me this "I don't think we should see each other till I'm better. Its too hard". That's all, no calls, nothing. I don't know what to do. The hardest part is did I make her run and lost her because of my arguments? I am full of regret and extremely depressed that I pushed it too much. But I just wanted to be treated fairly and just wanted her to be the same when we met. I love her very much but I am afraid because she is so young. Is she coming back? Should I try to reach out again? What should I do to get her back? Can i get her back if I give her space? Or is this one gone. Was she ever into me? I don't have experience dealing with young girls but I think I let my guard down here. I apologized and told her i would never question her health again over text but to no avail. Please help because the regrets are killing me. I have only felt this way with only one other woman in my life. Please understand that the age difference is big but sometimes you just can't help who you fall for. I don't know what to do, I feel like i lost her but I was told that standing up for yourself was always the right thing to do as a man. I was also taught that people who really care for you do not leave you just like that. The hardest thing in the world is when a man loves a woman and that woman does not love him. Its the worst feeling in the world. But what's even worse is blaming yourself for it.

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Not tonight, I have a headache. It's not you, it's me (or my health).

I'm not against age differences in relationships but 20 and 30 are hugely different in their own right. She's typical for a 20 yr old girl - it's easier to make excuses than say she's tired of the relationship. She's too young for you and you need to look at yourself why her age is emotionally easier for you, get over it and find a woman closer to your own age.

I had the post that got ripped apart by everyone including Chuff.

So I do the no contact thing and after a week and a half she calls me. I answer to see what she wants and we end up talking for an hour and a half. She texts me after the call saying it was great to talk to me and that she would like to go to coffee. She doesn't call me the next day, I call to see if she is going so I can make other plans. She said she had been busy and had to work the rest of the night. I said whatever and went out with my friends. She called me drunk that night about forty times and started yelling at me and cussing when I wouldn't go pick her up. She kept saying how much she wanted to see me but that I don't mean anything to her cause I wouldn't pick her up. The next day she calls me twice and apologizes. She then texts me that night to see what I am doing and then calls me again before she goes to bed. So I take these as good signs and lay myself out one more time, I ask to see if she wants to hang out the next day. But then she tells me she is going to bed early. I accidentally dial her number after I go to a movie by myself and realizing this I just say "wanted to say good night". I know this was a mistake especially since she just said no to going out again. But it was an accidental call. So then she calls me half an hour later and says she is mad at me for waking her up. I apologize and get off the phone. I haven't talked to her since. I have no idea what the hell is going on. Is this girl psychotic? Does she want to get back together or is she playing games? Is she confused? Is she putting me on the backburner? When we talk she always asks what I am doing and if there are any other girls. Are these legitimate feelings she has but can't act on them or is she crazy and playing games? What should I do next? Better to give her space and go on with my life? Why is she calling me? If she lost interest in me and broke up, why is she interested now? Or is this just a power trip? I am really confused here. Haven't dealt with many young girls. I have told her in our conversations that if she wants to try again that's cool, if not that's okay too cause I can't make her like me. WHAT SHOULD I DO?

First : Yes, she sounds very psychotic, and a drunk.

Second: She sounds very confused. Even with that said, there has to be a game involved. There would not be that kind of behaviour if there was not a game being played.

Third: You need a good wake up call. You went against the rules of no contact, look where you ended up. You ended up getting played with again.

Fourth: NO MORE CONTACT, NO MORE.

Fifth : What should you do? DO ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!

Sixth : I have told her in our conversations that if she wants to try again that's cool, if not that's okay too cause I can't make her like me.

Why the hell would you say that? All this crap should be over and done with and all your doing is making it worst for yourself.

Seventh: No More Contact. No more phone calls. No more of anything. You need to let it go. You need to stop going back and forth. You do not want to be with this phychotic weirdo do you? She will be nothing but trouble and has been nothing but trouble. STAY AWAY FROM HER. MOVE ON WITH YOUR LIFE. Do not give her another chanch to screw with your head. Oh you, if she tries to contact you again, get her number blocked. If she tries to see you while she is drunk, get her arrested. If she is determined to make you feel like the walls are caving in and she just won't leave you alone maybe a restraining order would set her in her place.

Joe

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Originally Posted by trent25

I had the post that got ripped apart by everyone including Chuff.

So I do the no contact thing and after a week and a half she calls me. I answer to see what she wants and we end up talking for an hour and a half. She texts me after the call saying it was great to talk to me and that she would like to go to coffee. She doesn't call me the next day, I call to see if she is going so I can make other plans. She said she had been busy and had to work the rest of the night. I said whatever and went out with my friends. She called me drunk that night about forty times and started yelling at me and cussing when I wouldn't go pick her up. She kept saying how much she wanted to see me but that I don't mean anything to her cause I wouldn't pick her up. The next day she calls me twice and apologizes. She then texts me that night to see what I am doing and then calls me again before she goes to bed. So I take these as good signs and lay myself out one more time, I ask to see if she wants to hang out the next day. But then she tells me she is going to bed early. I accidently dial her number after I go to a movie by myself and realizing this I just say "wanted to say good night". I know this was a mistake especially since she just said no to going out again. But it was an accidental call. So then she calls me half an hour later and says she is mad at me for waking her up. I apologize and get off the phone. I haven't talked to her since. I have no idea what the hell is going on. Is this girl psychotic? Does she want to get back together or is she playing games? Is she confused? Is she putting me on the backburner? When we talk she always asks what i am doing and if there are any other girls. Are these legitimate feelings she has but can't act on them or is she crazy and playing games? What should I do next? Better to give her space and go on with my life? Why is she calling me? If she lost interest in me and broke up, why is she interested now? Or is this just a power trip? I am really confused here. Haven't dealt with many young girls. I have told her in our conversations that if she wants to try again that's cool, if not that's okay too cause I can't make her like me. WHAT SHOULD I DO?

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She sounds psychotic. I agree that you should move on. Hopefully find someone who will accept you as you are, someone who won't play mind games with you. If she still decides she wants you in her life, maybe she can pull herself together & work hard to win back your love.

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Originally Posted by trent25

So I take these as good signs and lay myself out one more time

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Good signs? Good, if you like getting jerked around and messed with, as you found out. Learn your lesson and leave this manipulator in the dust.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by trent25

I had the post that got ripped apart by everyone including Chuff.

So I do the no contact thing and after a week and a half she calls me. I answer to see what she wants and we end up talking for an hour and a half. She texts me after the call saying it was great to talk to me and that she would like to go to coffee. She doesn't call me the next day, I call to see if she is going so I can make other plans. She said she had been busy and had to work the rest of the night. I said whatever and went out with my friends. She called me drunk that night about forty times and started yelling at me and cussing when I wouldn't go pick her up. She kept saying how much she wanted to see me but that I don't mean anything to her cause I wouldn't pick her up. The next day she calls me twice and apologizes. She then texts me that night to see what I am doing and then calls me again before she goes to bed. So I take these as good signs and lay myself out one more time, I ask to see if she wants to hang out the next day. But then she tells me she is going to bed early. I accidently dial her number after I go to a movie by myself and realizing this I just say "wanted to say good night". I know this was a mistake especially since she just said no to going out again. But it was an accidental call. So then she calls me half an hour later and says she is mad at me for waking her up. I apologize and get off the phone. I haven't talked to her since. I have no idea what the hell is going on. Is this girl psychotic? Does she want to get back together or is she playing games? Is she confused? Is she putting me on the backburner? When we talk she always asks what i am doing and if there are any other girls. Are these legitimate feelings she has but can't act on them or is she crazy and playing games? What should I do next? Better to give her space and go on with my life? Why is she calling me? If she lost interest in me and broke up, why is she interested now? Or is this just a power trip? I am really confused here. Haven't dealt with many young girls. I have told her in our conversations that if she wants to try again that's cool, if not that's okay too cause I can't make her like me. WHAT SHOULD I DO?

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She is playing you, absolutely, no doubt.
Try to ignore her for a bit, you'll see, she'll call even more and try to get you, but once she does, she'll go back... drama queen + a player.
Don't let her disrupt your life, its her loss now, and you need to move on.