https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/mental...ve-281948.html

Entire story merged several times

I really don't get my ex. The story is posted above. For christmas eve he called me to wish me a merry christmas. I later called him again cause I just wanted to talk to him... no answer. He totally stopped calling me and ignores me now. 2 weeks before christmas he told me he wanted to meet up sometime in January (he was not really calling me either at that time) to talk about things... but why ignore me. Is he just trying to think about what he wants??
Its actually better for me cause... its sinking in that its over... but I just don't get him...

Maybe it's time to get a new boyfriend if he isn't acting right. Life is too short to be stress out. If communication isn't going well between the two of you how can you be together? It'll never work.

Same with my ex.

Found out she left me for her "new friends" and a "party life" when her parents are in the lower class section of the wealth distribution pyramid.

He should be thinking about what he wants. You broke up with him. The communication between you guys since you broke up is just confusing the two of you. Maybe he realized he made a mistake in talking to you after the breakup and now he's taking time for himself to heal, which is what you should both be doing. Don't worry about trying to get him. It would be another story if you two were still together. You both need space in order to move on, so try to stick with no contact.

After 8 years, I imagine its really tough on you both, and you both should not be contacting the other period. As you see how confusing any contact is at this time.

It will be a while before the emotional dust settles ( quite a while ), and this time is best spent regrouping, and building a balanced life, without the influence of the other.

Sounds like he is giving you MIXED SIGNALS that you are having a hard time reading.

I will advise you to just back off... and go NO CONTACT... and work on yourself for the time being...

You need this free time to yourself anyway...

I've just been thinking that when I left the relationship I felt empty/souless and now that I don't have him I want him back for the possibility of what if... "I gave him that second chance when he wanted it". Was that our chance of being happy together.

What hurts was when I left I really just needed time to think things over (cool off). But then within the few weeks of not speaking to him he bangs another girl give her flowers and everything... That hurts like hell. And who knows if he still talks to her.

Perhaps he read our advice on her, NO contact, you don't answer calls, if you get a voice mail delete it, if you get a email delete it and move on.

But a Merry Christmas is just that not anything more

Based on what you stated he's definitely sending off mixed feelings. He's confused and unsure as to whether he should be moving on. Also terrified of the possibility of doing so and than realizing that you were the one for him.

Yet neither of these are your concern. You already tried by calling him and you gave him the signs that you would want to get back together and work it out.

You left the door open for him now and clearly he is unsure so until he's knocking on that door and trying his best to kick it open because he realized he can not live with out you. Until than... its time for you to move on.

Move on in the sense of just accepted the situation as it is and just live your life and see what unfolds.

Since christmas day... 1 week so far with absolutely No Contact... with no expectations of him calling me. I sit back here and get so upset thinking about when I would speak to him a couple months after the breakup and he would compare me to his rebound girl... He said "she seems to be honest and I believe her" About her past relationships. I try not to think about these things but they come back and haunt me. And told me she makes him feel good.

He probably still sees her. I don't know how long it will last for. And it hurts. The last time I went to visit which was in early December I saw a cup holder with his and hers anitials on it marked with the date they first went on their date. Which was two weeks from when we broke up (during the summer). Yeah he really loves me me right?? And tells me "it nothing really".

8 Years and I feel like he has no remorse. I feel like he's almost glad we broke up.

Congratulation! One week down. It is a new year and time to move on. Be strong!

You are better off without him. Post here every day, or week if you have to, just keep up the NC. You are doing great. It is always most difficult this time of year. Keep moving forward! I am proud of you!

Yes Yes... so so difficult!! Oh believe me I will keep posting until you guys get sick of hearing me... LOL

That's good! It's one week now then the next thing you know it's a month.

There is a NC calendar under member discusions where other person post and support each other that is going through the same thing. That thread can help too so you should check it out or I can link it to you if you like to get you started.

What should I do? He's been calling and calling all day... I really want to work things out... But I really don't want to get hurt again. I was the one who broke up the relationship. I haven't called him back yet.

How can I know if he is sincere this time??

How do you know the intent of the call without even speaking to him?

Let him speak, listen to what he says. If you don't know the answer, tell him you will think about one and call him back when you have it.

How do you want to work things out without talking first? Telepathically?

Guys.. this has been going on for 5 months now and I've been the one trying to work things out!! Broke n/c once and it was heart breaking... He said he did a lot of thinking and wanted to talk... We met up and then after that completely ignored me and now he wants to call me and speak to me..?

This isn't fair to you. I would continue to ignore him and move on with your life. He obviously doesn't know what he wants, and cannot keep butting into your life whenever he thinks you may be moving on. Change your number and leave him in the past. The longer this continues, the less you can build a life without him in it.

That's what it seems like as if he's butting in... I mean if he really wanted to work things out he would have written me a letter or something... thats the way I see it...

4 threads merged

I can't take it. I broke up with my ex after 8 years. I talked to him and told him I wanted to work things out. I let him go meaning I didn't call him. Then he calls me saying he thinks of me and do I still think of him. He also asks me hypothetically if I would get back with him. But why when he doesn't want to try our relationship again. He won't give me an answer. Its like he's scared to lose me. What is it!!

I only answered him back and broke NO CONTACT because of the constent emails and phoning and messaging. I really thought he had thought about us. This Friday he wants to meet up. I don't whether to go and see him but not do anything.. I don't know what to do... I want to get back with him. Someone help me find a way.

You need to revive the communications between you two.
You have really answered your own question :-

" I want to get back with him. "

GO meet him.
You have nothing to lose.

Don't see him. Change your email, your number, and any other form of contact information he has knowledge of. By doing so, you erase all the confusion, false hope, and hurt.

Another merged thread!!!!

I promised myself that this time no matter what I will move on. No more answering the phone, deleting emails. It just confuses me as to why he can't seem to disconnect from me and not want to try our relationship again of 7-8 years. He starts by calling numerous amounts of time one day then the next week or two starts to disengage conversation for the purpose of calling. I know he talks to another girl. But I mean you should have read the email he sent me like two weeks ago saying how much he was thinking about me and stuff and how since I was blowing him off that I was making the choice for him. See Im guessing the "choice" meaning working things out. Is he scared of moving on? Should I try to keep a friendship to show him he can trust me again? I know deep down inside he still cares for me. He can't let go!! That's what's driving me crazy.

Did anyone ever tell you not to run head first into a brick wall??

Ignore him until he goes away.
Cuss him out and tell him leave you alone.

Change whatever you have to to stop contact and end this confusion and speculation.

If you can't do that, go back to him, and be miserable, until you figure out whether your in, or out!

Why are you putting up with his crap, don't you have better things to do?

Sorry to be harsh, but you keep asking the same things, and ignoring the responses you have been getting.

I know... Its hard for me. This is my first break up with someone who I've been with and loved for a long time. I do No Contact and for some reason I get suckered to respond back. I see what I'm doing to myself though. Enough is enough... Lol I know am banging my head into a brick wall. That was funny.

By the way why do my questions keep merging?

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Originally Posted by hjpan

Same with my ex.

Found out she left me for her "new friends" and a "party life" when her parents are in the lower class section of the wealth distribution pyramid.

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What does that have to do with anything?

Its just your personel relation ship.how can we people know about your relationship in b/w u and him... so my sugesstion is don't take anybodys advice or ideas bcoz it is just your personal life.. do what ever your mind say about him.. but just think once before you act.

It sounds like you're flattered by his attention but that's all. Just move one than. If you want and can be friends - good. If not - no.

Quote:

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By the way why do my questions keep merging?

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Your posts get merged because its so confusing try to get the facts when someone has so many new posts about the same thing.

I just got to let this out. For all the times my ex came back to me saying he missed me and blah blah.. I now feel like he was missing the idea of me but in a sexual way. In Lust I guess. This hurts like hell. There are times where I ask myself if he would forgive me and come back after all we've been through, but at the same time I get so madd that I would never be able to forgive him for his selfishness and heartless soul.

When I broke up with him I did not give him false hope and didn't play these childish mind games. I told him straight out that I just needed some space.

I've managed somehow to hold back tears and see myself getting stronger as the days go on even though this post may not sound like it. This is where I come to to sulk... Sorry people.

There's no need to be mad, we all learn from mistakes, just completely cut him off...

I could honestly seeing my ex saying or thinking more or less the same things.

Same advice I'd give her if given the chance, Keep doing what you have been doing, you said yourself your stronger ^_^ No contact is also a big help.

In my case I got rid of most things collected throughout or relationship. The less things to remind me, the easier it was to remember WHY it ended, and why it shouldn't be repeated.

I just thought maybe since he was still lingering he was having doubts about not rekindling the relationship.

Anger is good, venting is great, now give us a good rant, and you will feel better. This is the place, and we do understand!

This morning I picked up my phone and what a surprise... three missed calls from my ex last night. Why does he do this when I told him to stop calling. Was he drunk? Anyway I just keep reminding myself of all the pain he caused me. I deleted his vm. I see myself really learning how to move on past this. Thanks for all of your support guys.:)

You did right. I am proud of you. Some of us ( I won't mention names), would have called back... well done

Urrg... an email too and more calls today!! What is up with this kid? Why does he always come back like this? I just keep deleting. Every time I see anything that has to do with him like the missd calls and emails... it gets me thinking again and I hate it!! It got to a point where I shut my phone off to end my worries.

You are doing the right things for yourself. The hardest part, keep doing it!

You could always change your phone number, or block his emails... or both...

Just a thought