I found out that my girlfriend still loves her ex. I have been with her for eight months and her and ex dated for a year and a half. She promised me that I was the love of her life and that she didn't love him anymore. I seen text messages in her phone and she was telling him the same things she was telling me. I was hurt, because she lied to me and she still loves him while she loves me at the same time. I want to leave but I love her so much I'm stuck. She told me she loved him but wasn't in love with him and she needed time to not love him any more. I don't know what to do. I need help. I want to be with her but I'm afraid she won't ever get over him.

I know this maybe harsh but I went into my girlfriend's diary. In her diary she said she had things in there that shocked me. Well, first, I found out she still loved he ex and she wanted to be with him and she wasn't in love with me because she was in love with him still. But on top of that in her diary she had put in there that she loved him but wanted to have sex with another guy while they were together. She told me she loved him but she was in love with me. I want to believe her, but I don't believe her because this is the second time I have found out that she still loves him. And I also don't trust her because while she was with her ex she wanted to cheat on him and I thought if she felt that way with him what about me? What if she thinks that way about guys while she is with me? I don't know what to do should I leave her or what should I do? How do I go about this? I need help! Any advice? Please help me. I've never been a situation like this before.

She needs time to not love him but they keep in touch by texting each other. So she is really not trying to get over him.. And she loves you too. This is one of those times that you need to back off. If you force her to make a choice, you will lose her. She will use that as an excuse to leave you, and then you have to live with the guilt. So I have a better option.

I don't think she is being fair to you. She wants to keep you both available so she can't lose. It is too bad that you are in love with her because it does make it hard for you to make the decision that you should make. Do to her what she probably will do to you, only do it first.. Dump her.

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Originally Posted by Lil_Greez_810

I found out that my girlfriend still loves her ex. I have been with her for eight months and her and ex dated for a year and a half. She promised me that i was the love of her life and that she didn't love him anymore. I seen text messages in her phone and she was telling him the same things she was telling me. I was hurt, because she lied to me and she still loves him while she loves me at the same time. I want to leave but i love her so much I'm stuck. She told me she loved him but wasn't in love with him and she needed time to not love him any more. I don't know what to do. I need help. I want to be with her but I'm afraid she wont ever get over him. Any advice? Please help me. I've never been a situation like this before.

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I think that you should leave her. There is really no sense in asking a lot of questions here, because it is quite clear that she still has feelings for him.

You caught her in a lie, which leads me to believe she is also being deceitful with him.

If she really loved you, then she wouldn't act this way with you.

The choice is your whether you want to be treated this way.

Good luck.

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Originally Posted by Lil_Greez_810

Should I trust my girlfriend she has secrets? I know this maybe harsh but I went into my girlfriend's diary.

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Hello L:

Trust is, as trust does...

Forrest Gump

Lil greez, what will it take for you to realize that this woman is a two timing, insincere, dishonest, selfish, selfcenterd, immature, unfaithful, etc etc. And those are her good points. Should I go on? Don't you think you deserve better? If you think so little of yourself that you feel a need to put up with someone who so obviosly doesn't share your feelings, then I say "go for it".. She sounds perfect.

So let me ask you this, how many more pieces of information (proof) do you need in order to realize that she is vindictive?

Well, I suppose you could always wait to walk in on her making love to another man...

Hmmmmm... What to do, what to do.

You snooped through her phone, and you snooped through her diary. You didn't trust her in the first place, and probably never will. You have no choice but to come clean, and end things, because I doubt you believe anything she says, and she will never trust you either. Hope you had fun the last 8 months, because all that fun is over for sure.

You both went behind the others back, instead of being upfront and honest. Now you know the truth there is but one course of action... leave her alone, and forget this sham of a relationship.

If she is texting another man and talking about having sex, that is cheating, at least from my beliefs. She may not be doing it physcially,
If it was just all day dreams, we all have them, I would expect you sometimes day dream about someone yourself.

So you have dumped her and looking for new girlfriend yet ?

I don't know. She hasn't cheated that is the only reason I'm still with her. Maybe I'm blind but I love her

Please stop making new posts about the same thing and it would help a lot to post feed back by scrolling down to the answer box instead of commenting on this post.

Honestly some times I trust her and some days I don't. And I let her see my messages to so It wasn't really I didn't trust her I wanted to make sure. IM sure you have trusted some one but still needed comformation.

Lil_Greez_810 : Honestly some times I trust her and some days I don't. And I let her see my messages to so It wasn't really I didn't trust her I wanted to make sure. IM sure you have trusted some one but still needed comformation.

Say what you want. The fact remains that YOU don't trust her. If you did, then you wouldn't be going through her phone or her diary, OR you wouldn't be asking us about this issue.

Also, please stop posting new questions about the same thing.

Thank you.

I know what you mean Lil Greez. I 've been in love, and it does make you blind. I remember one time I came home and found my girlfriend in bed with another man. So I said to her "What are you doing??" and she turned to the guy she was with and said "See, I told you he was stupid."

Sometimes we continue to hold on, even if by a thread, because we just can't stand the thought of letting go..

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Originally Posted by beachloverjohn

I know what you mean Lil Greez. I 've been in love, and it does make you blind. I remember one time I came home and found my girlfriend in bed with another man. So I said to her "What are you doing??" and she turned to the guy she was with and said "See, I told you he was stupid."

Sometimes we continue to hold on, even if by a thread, because we just can't stand the thought of letting go..

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Thank you for sharing that with us. I am sorry that happened to you.

I just don't want the same thing to happen to Lil Greez, and at this pace, it seems as if something like this will happen to him if he doesn't wise up.

That's OK Enigma, I'm over it. Now she's with an acquaintance of mine, but she hasn't changed a bit. She told him that she likes to talk during sex, so she called him from her hotel..

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Originally Posted by beachloverjohn

That's ok Enigma, I'm over it. Now she's with an acquaintance of mine, but she hasn't changed a bit. She told him that she likes to talk during sex, so she called him from her hotel..

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Wait wait... What! Explain this one to me.

Why am I getting a visual of her in missionary position, while he is going at it, she is on the phone with your acquaintance?:eek:

I really was blind when we were living together.

One day as I came home early from work, I saw a guy jogging naked. I said to the guy, "Hey buddy...why are you doing that for?" He said, "Because you came home early."

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Originally Posted by beachloverjohn

I really was blind when we were living together.

One day as I came home early from work, I saw a guy jogging naked. I said to the guy, "Hey buddy...why are you doing that for?" He said, "Because you came home early."

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Wow... See, it's women like that, that give women like me a bad name.:mad:

How old were you when that happened?

When your in love, you only see what you want to see.

One night my girlfriend met me at the front door. She was wearing a sexy negligée. The only trouble was, she was just getting home.

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Originally Posted by beachloverjohn

when your in love, you only see what you want to see.

one night my girlfriend met me at the front door. She was wearing a sexy negligee. The only trouble was, she was just getting home.

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Wow! That's awful!

It's Ok, I'm use to rejection. I think it all started when I was a baby

My mother never breast fed me. She told me that she only liked me as a friend.

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Originally Posted by Lil_Greez_810

I found out that my girlfriend still loves her ex. I have been with her for eight months and her and ex dated for a year and a half. She promised me that i was the love of her life and that she didn't love him anymore. I seen text messages in her phone and she was telling him the same things she was telling me. I was hurt, because she lied to me and she still loves him while she loves me at the same time. I want to leave but i love her so much I'm stuck. She told me she loved him but wasn't in love with him and she needed time to not love him any more. I don't know what to do. I need help. I want to be with her but I'm afraid she wont ever get over him.

I know this maybe harsh but I went into my girlfriend's diary. In her diary she said she had things in there that shocked me. Well, first, I found out she still loved he ex and she wanted to be with him and she wasn't in love with me because she was in love with him still. But on top of that in her diary she had put in there that she loved him but wanted to have sex with another guy while they were together. She told me she loved him but she was in love with me. I want to believe her, but I don't believe her because this is the second time I have found out that she still loves him. And I also don't trust her because while she was with her ex she wanted to cheat on him and i thought if she felt that way with him what about me? What if she thinks that way about guys while she is with me? I don't know what to do should I leave her or what should I do? How do i go about this? I need help! Any advice? Please help me. I've never been a situation like this before.

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You have reason not to trust each other.
By getting into her diary you broke the trust.

By what you found out and the way she acts ,
I can't understand why you are staying.

She is keeping you around as a backup and/or
A pawn to use to make the ex jealous as a rouse
To get him back.

It is obvious that she cannot be trusted,
She doesn't know what she wants and
Her only concern is for her.

I suggest you leave and cut off all communication with her.
This is a necessary step in moving on and beginning to
Heal yourself .
This is what you need now is healing.

Go now and save your dignity and self respect.
There is only pain and heartache if you stay.

I wish you well.

You may think you love her, but I'm sorry for resorting to this.
Think of how little you trust her because of this. I can relate because I have worried about my girlfriend cheating for some time now. I have caught her being unfaithful, but not physically cheating. I know I need to break up with her, but I keep thinking it will get better.
IT WON'T.
By default, your brain thinks that things like this are as bad as they will get, but the only reason you are still with her is because you have a low self-esteem. You need to realize you can do better. It will take a little while, but you can do better. I promise. Just be yourself and realize that there is a reason that you are who you are. Because you like who you are, whether you think you do or not. I wish I could find something like this about my girlfriend so I could just end the pain. But when I find something like her being unfaithful, I feel like by breaking up with her, I will be ending what I think is so great. But if it went this far, having learned what I have lately, the relationship is really just a waste of time, when you could be keeping an open eye for someone better.
I sugggest you tell her you want a break. If she goes for that girl, then don't let yourself classify her as your ex, or the girl you love. Classify her as the waste of time you wish you had never met that you naturally became attached to.

If she goes for that guy*

First of all I would like to thank you for posting this post, because right now I'm in the same boat as you..

I'll tell you a little about my story. At first we were just friends, well we never talked much in the beginning, then we started talking, then we started sharing our thoughts, opinions, futures. And to be honest I fell for her, the only problem was that she had a boyfriend at that time. So I didn't try my luck and remained a "friend" to her. Months pasts and it was really killing me that I couldn't tell her. I didn't want to because I thought that she already had her own problems and me telling her that I love her (knowing that she has a boyfriend) would make things worse and more complicated for her and it could mean risking our friendship.

Even though he treated her garbage and always left her crying, I was there for her, I always tried my best to make things better for her, to let her know that people still do care. Then only recently he told her that he is seeing another person. That night she cried and cried, I called her to speak with her and to let her know that things will be okay, anyway after 3-4hours on the phone she was feeling a little better and went to sleep. Then one day I asked her out, and she said yes. It was honestly the happiest time of my life. I was so glad to have her as my girlfriend. But later did I know that she was still attached to him, and that just killed me.. I mean how would you feel if your girlfriend or boyfriend told you they are still attached to their ex? I mean I didn't show her how much it hurt me, I told her it was fine for her to talk to me about him, and that I really did care about her. And really, I was the only person with her during her difficult times, and yet she loves him? I don't know what to do?

I love her, and I know I will continue to love her, I understand that it is hard for her to "move on" but what about me? It just hurts to know that the person you would do anything for pretends to like you and in the end still has feelings for their ex.

Perhaps I said a little too much about my story, but I want you to know that you are not alone in this, and that people do experience these things, whether you know it or not but things like that do happen a lot to people. I hope things are better for you know, whether things are better between you too, or whether you found another person. Cheers mate.