I dated this girl for about 4 months and everything was going great until she began working and moving we started seeing each other less and I was being understanding of her current situation until I started to feel like she no longer made an effort to see me everything seemed like an excuse and we began to argue at times I would also get extremely frustrated because all of our conversation were through text and I didn't feel she was sincere at times. Since college was just around the corner I let go of all the frustration and thought "well we go to the same school so we can see each other much more" as soon as it starts we meet up and while talking she brings up the fact of our relationship being weird and how our conversation are not what they use to be, I immediately questioned her on where she was trying to get at and she said nowhere but knowing the kind of person she is I pushed it a little more she told me that she still has a lot of feelings for me and she sees us having a long relationship but not at this time she said she doesn't want to break up she started asking me questions like if we broke up would we still be friends I told her I couldn't be friends with her because if she couldn't make time for me as a boyfriend why would that change as a friend we sat there in silence for a bit trying to figure out what to do like an idiot I gave the option of a break we cooled down for a bit and I changed the subject and began kissing right before we intiated the break she said she would contact me in a week or two, two weeks passed and she texts me with a new phone saying we need to talk I meet her up at school and she looks at me with blood shot eyes saying you already know what I'm going to say and I say well now I do she says I'm not ready for a relationship at the moment and I locked up and said OK you got to do what you got to do gave her a hug and left everything later that day while in class sank in and I got enraged I sent her three text messages one questioning her way of life the other talking about my confusion on why and lastly with me just telling her that I really cared for her and wished her the best she didn't respond to any of them except the last one saying that she is sorry that it didn't work out and that she wishes the best for me too I deleted her off Facebook and its been two weeks now I see her in the hallways sometimes and she gives me a half *** smile or a small wave she no longer sits in the usual space and it seems like she is trying to hide or not go anywhere I might be

My best advice to you my friend... move on! She already has!

That thought runs through my head everyday but I can't seem to let go there are those doubts in my head like the how we were all over each other right before the break and how every time I pass by her I can see she's unhappy

I've been trying to follow the no contact rule and thinking of breaking it within a month or two but I'm unsure

How could you contacting her right now benefit your situation at all... She came out and told you that it wasn't going to work. Her looking unhappy when you see her is just her feeling awkward around you. Don't misinterpret that as her being unhappy without you. By the sounds of it you had a summer fling and nothing more, it was fun while it lasted but unfortunately it wasn't meant to be. Don't contact her and before you know it you will be over it and on to someone new.

Cheers

She feelings have changed. She doesn't wish to continue a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship with you. She advised you face to face and told you as kindly as she could. She is avoiding going to same places because she is following the "NO Contact" rules. She acknowledges you in the hall by half smile and wave. But she still doesn't try to have conversation.
Having a relationship fall apart is hard, but its now time for you stop waiting around. Stop trying to convince yourself she is coming back.
Your in college go out and enjoy yourself. Get out with some friends Im sure your not going to have any problems finding out were all the college girls hang out!

You may be right but the contact I was going to make it within a month or two

Thanks man but why would she try to stay away from me I was never clingy or needy and never did anything wrong to her?

This was a 4 month stink, there is no need to find closure. You had a fling and when the infatuation wore off there was nothing left keeping her with you. We don't do NC only to make a date later on that we will contact the person, you do it to get over the person and move on. Don't contact her now or in the future, there is no reason. Don't make mountains out of molehills my friend, leave it alone and enjoy school!

OK got it

Thanks everybody for the help I guess the answer is pretty clear screw this broad

You dated for 4 months, for her it was over and she told you.
She owes you no other explanation. If some one tells you it's over, it's over. Contacting her in a month does neither of you any good. Just move on, forget about contacting her. After a while you won't even think about it.
You meet, you date for a while and you move on. That is the way the dating process goes sometimes.

Oh and don't reply in the comment box. Do it in the answer box.

That was my problem though if she would have just said I no longer am interested in you I would be fine to move on but she told me she isn't ready for a relationship at the moment and said if it was or wasn't bull**** about how she can see us have a long relationship not at this time

Then that is what she meant. Go on with your life. Maybe she thought to let you down easier but, if she says lets breakup that is what she meant. She did not put a time limit on it. Don't you do it. Move on.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by noContact706

i deleted her off facebook and its been two weeks now i see her in the hallways sometimes and she gives me a half *** smile or a small wave she no longer sits in the usual space and it seems like she is trying to hide or not go anywhere i might be

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She is on the right track, Now you do better.

Don't call, don't text, don't wave , no notes, no FB, no American Signing , morse code... nothin.

Kick her to the curb on your way to freedom.

It is not easy, or fast, and is painful. But it is necessary.

I wish you well

Do not answer here? OK

Good post

Could a bit harder than an easy walkaway, but it is time to start.

This section is for comments... not answers?

Could it be she's avoiding me because she's mad that I didn't want to be her friend?

She could be avoiding you because she knows you still have a thing for her.
She does not want to be with you. That is all you need to know. Once you get a handle on that you will be able to move on and get a life again.

Its hard to believe that this girl doesn't want anything to do with me when we slept together she said she wouldn't mind having my child

Let me stop I'm a real stubborn guy if I don't feel better in the next couple of months I will probably contact her just know a definite answer and move on

Quote:

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Originally Posted by no Contact 706

its hard to believe that this girl doesnt want anything to do with me when we slept together she said she wouldn't mind having my child

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People will say and do a lot of things when they think they are in love and lust.
When they come back down to earth, they see things more clearly. It appears she did.

You can wait around pining for a month if you want to.

I thought your name was already nocontact.
Try 706 days.
Then let us know how you feel.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by noContact706

its hard to believe that this girl doesnt want anything to do with me when we slept together she said she wouldnt mind having my child

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Been there, done that. My last ex said the same thing. We were so serious that we were looking at a house to buy together. Then it all fell apart. I didn't start healing until I finally stuck with No Contact and gave up my false hope of getting back together. That was 2 years ago. Now I am happy and in another relationship. If you want to see how hard it was for me, check out my old posts from around 2008 and see how pathetic I was.

Wallowing is pathetic, learning isn't.

Breakups can be one of the worst events of a persons life.

People can turn into animals or helpless whining irritants.
Occasionally it will bring strength and alter some bad lifestyles for the better.

As I said earlier, if I had to go through the divorce/breakup
Again

Or

Be dragged naked through a cactus patch
With my mouth around the exhaust pipe of a bus.

I'd take the latter.

Kind of the same thing. Hehehe.

Laughing about it is key.

Most books, songs, movies, TV, whatever, is about overcoming heartache.

Were only human. Ready to correct the next mistake.

Try going no contact for real and it will work slowly. School just started and try to meet new friends. Enjoy life, is only 4 months! Don't sober and drag too long.