Ask Me Help Desk - I need my girlfriend back

I need my girlfriend back

Hey I really need some help. Please guys help me. Recently I've lost my girlfriend, she meant the world to me. We went out for nearly 1 year and half and knew each other for 6 years. Everything was going well until some moments when we started having arguments and shouting at each other but we still love each other so much. Before we did broke up and we got back together and again now we broke up again because she told me that she was seeking other guys which made her realise that she wasn't meant to be with her and she doesn't love me anymore

She left me its been 2 weeks. And whenever I tried to contact her she tells me to stop talking to her and she doesn't want to hear my name or want me in her life anymore. I really don't know what to do. I made so much effort into this releationship but I ended losing her. Guys please help me and give me some ideas of how to get her back. And Is there any chance for her to come back with me. Because I will do anything to get her back. Help me guys..

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Originally Posted by nuvin3

And Is there any chance for her to come back with me.

No, because as you said...

Quote:

Originally Posted by nuvin3

she doesn't love me anymore

She's told you its over. Plain and simple.

Its hard, but time to move on. Leave her alone.

You have to accept that it is over. Time to go no contact and start healing. Read some of the stickies at the top of this page to help. It is hard and I'm sorry for your sadness.

Thanks guys for your opinion. She told me before she left me that I have lost her because I emotionally abused her. Whereas I know I didn't do such thing to her but protected her and always supported her. But confusions into her mind made her blame me that it was me whom emotionally abused her, whereas she was the one whom was constantly blaming me and shouting at me and whenever I shouted at her for her silly mistakes that would destroy our relationship she tells me I hurt her. And yes also guys the other day when I asked her if we would be only friends she said no and then the same night she was with her friend and she called me and her friend told me to leave her alone and she was laughing silently in the background. Do you guys think that's a sign she cares for me still.? Also tomorrow I think I might write her a letter to tell her I respect her decision for leaving me. DO u think it's a good thing to do.

No letters, no phone calls, no texting, no contact. You walk away with dignity, respect for yourself, and most of all respect for her decision. Sadly, when you date friends, this is what most often happens. It's a fact of life. You let her live her life, and you live hers, knowing you at least had the respect for each other enough to leave it alone.

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Originally Posted by nuvin3

DO u think its a good thing to do.

No.

Anyone who lets her friend call you while she smirks in the background deserves nothing from you.

Let it go. Keep some self respect.

She wants to be single. Leave her alone to play her silly games with someone else.

I guess you guys are right.. I should walk away from her and leave her alone.. thanks guys for yr help

If you need to vent while you adjust we are here for you.

Break ups suck and they're painful. It's a fact of life. My friend, odds are this won't be your last break up either. You sound fairly young and life is a long road to travel with driving the same vehicle.

How you deal with the obstacles in your life are what shapes you into who you are. You can choose to be a sniveling little b_tch or you can man up and grow a pair. Begging and pleading are not attractive traits for a man. If she wants to walk out of your life, fine, let her. You don't need to explain anything to her. You don't offer her consolation prizes (friendship) for being dumped. Are you kidding me?! Hold your head high, be proud, and move on knowing there will be a better person to come along. It's hard but you need to focus on, "She immature." "I can do better." "It's her loss."

OR you can continue humping your EX's leg like a lost puppy until she slaps you away again.

When someone tells you they don't want to be with you anymore, whatever you feel is immaterial. You leave them alone PERIOD.
No letters no text no e-mails, nothing.
It's over.

Man yes that's true I'm young well not even 20 yet. I honestly think she was the love of my life. Honest we had so much. I worked so hard to get this releationship going on the right track. I know she is immature and all the time I tried to support her she thinks I'm getting her a low self confidence. And in fact all the time I've supported her she actually thanked me. I gota be honest, my heart has been crying a lot and this made me cry big tears out at middle of the day. And right now my heart is saying to me to write her a letter and tell her that I accept her decision for leaving me and I want to point her some points in where our releationship went down and it wasn't my fault all the time. Some Good men above told me not to write or text her or anything. But I'm just so confused, guys

And its hard for me to see her with another man.

Write that letter to yourself and then destroy it instead. Yes it is horribly difficult but it will get easier. Avoid all contact and work on your own feelings one day at a time.

You don't need to be writing her or communicating with her in anyway.
This will get better with time.

Can I write the letter and send it to you guys and you see if I should send it or not. Please read it and let me know

You can write the letter but I don't think you should send it to her.
We can read it and then you destroy it.

Trust me, from a guy who has done every single horrible thing you could do after a break up, DO NOT SEND HER the letter. If it makes you feel better, there is a thread on here where people have posted letters to their ex.

If there was one thing I could change about the way I handled my break up it would have been to walk away, like a man, respect her decision and then leave it be, never contacting her again. Instead, I lost almost all dignity I ever had, and it took a long time to get it back. Let your actions do the talking. By that, I mean let it go, leave it be and walk away.

Cut contact, as hard as it sounds, it really does help as I've been in many long term relationships and realized that's what I had to do to forget that person who left me and it helped me get over them much quicker! You never know if she doesn't hear from you for a while she might realize that she misses you, as me and my fella recently split but we are back together now as I deleted him out of my life, but it were when he so me he realized that he missed me and were now back together now. But if not there's plenty more fish in the sea and I'm sure other girls would adore to have a man like you, don't sit there feeling sorry for yourself it isn't the end of the world, time is a great healer to, get yourself out there and enjoy a bit of freedom! And meet other girls, possibly girls that will stay with you an love you!

nuvin3 I realize your going to do what you must or feel you must do. But sending her a letter is just telling her that you're a weak person and will bend to her will. She will use this against you. She will toy with you for an ego boost.

A letter or any future contact sends the wrong message, don't do it.

We don't need to read the letter to know it would be a bad mistake to send it to her. BURN the thing instead, after YOU read it a few times yourself. Keep your dignity, and self respect by bowing out gracefully, and leaving her alone. Why be a big fool on top of being dumped?

Ohh well guys, thanks for all your support, I thought me and her was forever but I think I should let her go and let her find the man of her dreams, I won't be writing that letter.

Yeah, that's what you tell us, but actions speak louder than words. We already know how hard it will be to keep your word to YOURSELF.