Ask Me Help Desk - Love her but she had aids

Love her but she had aids

After one year of true love... she founds that she had aids ,I feel very sorry about her this drives me crazy I can't imagine this!
This make me hidden from my family my friend and college , I fell that my life ends here at that moment I knew it.
She's hiding too I searched for her , her family doesn't know where she is and her friends too .
I don't know from where she took this aids I'm really don't know ,I want to know if she had another boyfriend? Or is this from me.

I just want to tell her that I love her and this won't makes me stop this love .

I want some advice from you all please

Thank you

If you are wondering if the AIDS is from you, have you been tested? You can't give it to her if you don't have it. However, if she has it she can give it to you.

What other kind of advice do you need?

If you with no body else. No needle sharing. No drugs. No sex with anybody else. Uhm then you did not have hIV or aids. Now She has aids. Did she know it all along. Why do you want to be with somebody who lied? Now because of her having aids, most likely you have aids or maybe she has aids because of you if you seen other people before. Then you have given her a life sentence, or she has given you a life sentence. Get tested immediately. Do not have any more sex with anybody. Find out your status. Aids will stop love unless you want to be stupid.

Joe

Thank you 4 replying... but she's the first girl I made sex with her . And I'm thinking about mistake I've made , when she told me about it she was crying I left her on the coffeshop alone then...

If that is the case then you need to get checked out to make sure you don't have AIDS. You need to go right away and have a test done.

I also agree with Joe above, why do you want to be with someone who lied? It is time to get tested, and if you don't have it, move on.

I'll test... but I'm really care about her.

You may care about her, but the fact is that she did not care about you. She did not warn you that she might be giving you a deadly disease before she went to bed with you.

You also have to think about how she got it. Is she a drug abuser? She disappeared from everyone who loves her. Sounds like she is. If this is the case she still does not care for you.

Get tested and move on.

Her lying about having a deadly disease. Her passing it too you, if you have it. Guess what legally that is manslaughter.

Manslaughter, if you do not know what it is. Look it up and Google it.

Joe

You can get around having aids. It not the end of the world. You can continue and see her - and there are protection from it spreading to you.

You need to go see a doctor and be tested - tell the doctor everything. Do it today. The doctor will give you advice on how to protect yourself.

If you love someone - this is NOT a deal breaker.

But you need to find out how she got it. Is she a drug user? Dated many men?

You have a whole ton of questions that only a doctor can answer.

If she loves you she will be back.

BUT, how did she tell you?? How did you react?? How did she react??

Thank you 4 replying , I'm afraid of this test really but ill do the test tomorrow. And since I know about her disease I know that I have ethical responsibility.
She told that on coffee shop ! And she was crying and I blame her, left her there while she was crying I know it was mistake and a big one. Maybe I'm responsible for this

But I'm sure that she don't know about it before she loves me more than I do...

Well - you deserved the right to be made.

Where do you live?

You really must find her and see if she is all right.

Is she a drug adict??

AND is she on medication?? She has to be.

I live in jordan... no she's not drug addict for sure ,I don't know if she is on medication... she just disappeared at once after I left her alone.is it possible that she don't wants to see me again or maybe she thinks that I'm responsible for her disease?

Quote:

Originally Posted by bas86

after one year of true love .... she founds that she had aids ,i feel very sorry about her this drives me crazy i can't imagine this!
this make me hidden from my family my friend and college , i fell that my life ends here at that moment i knew it.
she's hiding too i searched for her , her family doesnt know where she is and her friends too .
i dont know from where she took this aids im really dont know ,i want to know if she had another boyfriend ?! or is this from me.

i just want to tell her that i love her and this wont makes me stop this love .

i want some advice from u all please

thank you

Ok u know she has aidsbut you love her so you should still think about your heath if you have aids you don't really have to care but if you don't you should honestly run for it love only last so long and your life and freedom from dieases is more important than one chick
But I hope you find the right way.

Have you been tested for HIV? If not then you need to be immediately. There are medications that can slow its progress but treatment needs to begin promptly. Don't let anyone else be exposed to your body fluids.

Thank you all for replying , I went to a doctor and the test was done on Friday...
But today I saw her friend and I've asked her about my girlfriend... she told me that she's at her parents home... I don't know what to do now. I feel sorry for her but I feel that she cheated me at the same time .
How could person who loves you and you share him wonderful moments , hide the truth about his disease !

Exactly, now all you need to find out is if you might have it or not. Whether you do or do not, you still need to think about why this person hid something so life threatening from you.

Joe

Well she didn't cheat on you I suspect. She probably lied to you - someone with Aids needs to tell this way before sex - not right away.

I assume you both had sex?

Wha tdid the doctor say?

You need t odecide if you want to be wit hher or not.

The assumption that all seem be making is that she previously knew she had aids before she was with you? Is it possile that she just found out she had aids herself and that it was from a previous relationship? Any idea how long she had known that she has had aids herself? From her actions of disappearing it seems that she just found out herself and may be just as freaked out about the whole thing as you are? Any results back on your testing?

She is in hiding because she knows she has done something wrong. They have been together for one year.

Jesushelper76:
I will admit I know nothing about aids, so people with aids generally know they have this right away? I have heard stories of people not finding out they out they had this virus after more than a year? But again, those are stories and not fact and I certainly do not know that facts of the aids virus.

Well? What happened with the test?

Have tried to speak wit her?

The tests take at least 2 to 3 weeks to return. Be patient everybody.

Her father asked me two days ago to visit her because she needs me she is turning into dead ghost ! Well I refused to do that because I felt that time she cheated me ! How bastard am I? I asked him how did she got hiv, he told me that she didn't told them tell now and they don't want to know how .

Today the test is done... I don't have Aids thanks god .
Have you ever seen a grown man cry like a baby? I have cried and cried a lot. I came home , imagining her... well guess what I did? I went to the bathroom and muffled my cry. I coulnd take it. My Love Rasha?! God she's 20 years old , she had been my life. I have asked God that I'm dreaming or at least to be the story one of her lies, After one Year of sharing good and bad times... sharing the same heart?!
I feel guilty I left her fighting her disease alone... I'm BF OF A GIRL HAD AIDS!! And BF of Broken Heart GF!!
I remember on the 1st of this month we were planing for the new year we wrote big list then but how after this... what should I do now ?

Quote:

Originally Posted by bas86

Today the test is done ....positive, i dont have Aids thanks god .

Did your physician say that you do NOT have it? I am afraid to say, but positive usually means you do have it.

Negative would mean you do not.

Unless it is different in your country of course.

No I don't had it... I say positive because I pass it , the physician didn't told me positive or negative .

Congratulations!! The test must have said negative then.

Just FYI, you posted the word positive so many people will think that the test was positive and that you DO have it.

Edited thank you... yes it must be negative

Quote:

Originally Posted by bas86

well i refused to do that because i felt that time she cheated me ! how bastard am I !?

!

This is such an emotional time in your life and you are trying to deal with a mix of polar emotions. Don't be so hard on yourself. You love your girlfriend very much but you were not ready to see her then.

Quote:

Originally Posted by bas86

what should i do now ?

Well, first be grateful that you are not sick. Now, you must decide if you are willing or ready to face the future with a woman who has AIDS or if you do not feel capable of handling such a demanding role and so, leave her. I, in no way, pretend that this is an easy decision or that the options are so clear cut. It will take time for you to process your feelings so take it easy and give yourself time to think and sort it out. I encourage you to talk to her when you are ready. Communicate with her and let her answer your questions. In the end, make sure that your decision, that will surely be hard whatever it will be, is HONEST: to yourself as well as to her. Finally, I give you an advice someone once gave me: There are only a few decisions that one can make in this world that are final. Have the courage to know that you might be making a mistake but also have the comfort to know that you have the power to correct them.

I hope that you find courage at such a painful and hard time in your life.

Omg don't care about her because if this was not because of you that means she is sleeping with everyone in other words she is cheating on you.
By the way when a girl sleep with one means she sleeps with everyone
So why do you care
Good luck in your test and tell us about the result

Lily-butterfly,

Just because someone has AIDS does not mean she contracted it through sex. There are many ways to get AIDS other than sex.

Secondly, did you read the thread? Apparently not, because he already has the result. He does not have the disease.

If that's not de reason why do you think if you think about it logically she doesn't want to tell anybody why she had it...
If it wasn't the reason I told you about she would say it out load not be ashaimed

I am sure one of the medical experts will correct if I am wrong , but from what Ive read in the past, the young lady could have contracted HIV long before her relationship with the op and not been diagnosed with it till now.
Its like a hidden time bomb.
A lot of the folks posting are assuming she kept this hidden but note the op original line
"after one year of true love .... she founds that she had aids "
Not she told me she has aids.
Bas86 my heart goes out to you and your lady. May life lead you down the path that is right for you.

I was wrong in my previous posts. To assume that she did this while they were together was a wrong assumption. I hope that you find out exactly why and how she contracted it. It could have happened while you were together, but it could have happened before hand as well. It is up to you whether you see this girl. Your love. I am happy that your clean. Now it is up to you what you decide to do. It sounds like she is very sick. My prayers are with her, you and all the family that is involved. Again, I apologize for jumping the gun and jumping to conclusions which just compounded your confusion in what to do with this situation. I am sorry.

Joe

Yes, AIDS is a hidden timebomb. Some people have the HIV for up to 15 years before they find out they have it. It can manifest itself with a form of pneumonia that will not resolve. The particular pneumonia is called pneumocystic pneumona and only AIDS patients get it.

Now, as for how she got it. That is not really all that important in my view. There are many ways, a blood transfusion, a needle stick if she was a health care worker, sex, IV drug user, to name a few. She may have even gotten it from a past sexual partner who to this day does not even know he has it. This is why it is so important for every sexual partner she ever had to be tested.

I too am sorry you are going through this. I am sure she needs someone like you, so caring, right now.

I'd go to her and talk with her.

You need some honest answers from her.

Have an open mind. No expectations.

Do this!!

Then take a couple days and think about things.

I'm Just Want to U all guys U helped me in those Hard days... Maybe its written in my book to face tragedic end in this love , but the good side that I found Good friends here.

Ive talked with Rasha and I Gave her the Hope that she's really need for and ill stand with her till the end .
I found the true Humanity here.
Thank you Jesushelper76, Wildcat21, J_9,TheSavage,manimuth... and all.

Your welcome, Anytime you need any of us we will be here. I am happy you talked with her and you are going to stand with her till the end. You are a true man.

Joe

Good luck. There are ways around this. Ask your doctor. She needs you more than ever now.

Does she know how she got the virus? Pretty important to keep thatperson from spreading it. They might not even know.

Bas86, Good luck to you!! She really is going to need someone like you to help her through this.

Be her friend, she needs one right now!!