Multiple threads merged

God I am so depressed me and my boyfriend have split so many times but this time it hurts the most he seems so sure that he doesn't want me anymore despite the fact he's told me he still loves me and cares about me. We were going fine when is mates fell out with him but they came along again and before I knew it he decided he didn't want a girlfrind but hear this when ever we talk I ask him if he thinks we will ever get back and all he says is I don't know and I ask him if he's moved on an he says no I will do soon though and I was like what if you proper think of me one day and miss me like the other times will you just ignore what you feel and he said no id get back with you. On the other hand when I rang again and asked if he's been thinking he's like yes but we isn't getting back but we might in the future but I don't know what he wants because one min he's telling me that he needs time to think and the other min he's saying he's thought about it and were definitely not getting back and its killing me I don't know weather to move on or wait till I know its definite. Thing is I don't want to move on I love him too much and don't really want to start again I'm scared for the future he's the only lad who's ever see my body and what am I'm going to do when it come to when I do get another boyfriend who wants sex. I just want to get on with things but I just can't he's contantly on my mind I always think of the good momories we had and all he says is its all gone but the day we split before his mum txtd me having a go saying I'm scaring him and we both need time out and we broke as soon as I cnfronted him so I don't no is he messing with my head? Thanks for reading his and helping me as I know its very long but there's so much more but id bore you all I just need help big time I'm so scared it feels so unreal.

Move on, go to NC let him deal with his own feelings, maybe he will call you beack and want you back but he might not. Don't just wait tell he has moved on and then he eventually finds someone else and hurts you even more, lol because that's what I'm going through right now.

Feeling the way you're feeling after hearing those dreaded words from someone you're in love is completely normal. I've been there too and it seems like its almost not happening to you.. you keep waking up from this dream hoping it wasn't real only to find out it is.

No Contact is definitely the way to go here. He's expressed that he needs time and space so give it to him. I realize this may be tough for you but any action on your part to reach out to contact him will only push him away even more.

Feel free to vent here though, I know you're going through an extremely difficult time right now but you're not alone.

I'm going through the same thing rite now, I would say nc is the best, is time to know yourself better and get closer to a higher power and every day will go smoothly...

Hey how about I undelete your other posts, and you can read those responses again! You'll get the same thing this time around also.

I am trying to forget him but just can't bring myself to do it I am not eating at all I've hardly slept a wink I miss him so badly and its only the 3rd day since we split he's making my life hell is they anyway he will come back to me?

It will help a lot if you don't talk to him any more, there is a reason for everything that happens to us, why people come and go maybe there is a lesson you should learn from this, how to be happy by yourself, maybe it is also preparing you for the rite one in your life, you don't need absolutely anyone to make you happy no one. If my ex didn't leave me I wouldn't have realize how selfish and angry I'm, though its been like a week now and I'm working on myself and I'm very happy, we are friends but I asked him not to take me back becos I need to work on ME. My point is I know you love him which makes it hard to let go but you have to love yourself first before you love anyone else becos at this point you are punishing yourself.

Tal good point! Stop asking the same questions because on this board, you will get the same answers. Move on, NC and have a much better life

Merged threads for the last time

Me and my boyfriend have only split a month ago and haven't heard from him in a while and I decided to tell him how hard it were to get over him and he told me he had a new girlfriend this tore me in two and I seriously can't cope anymore with life we were going for 2 years for crying out loud, and it took him a month for him to move on but there's something stopping me I love him so much and can't let go. I have no confidence what so ever and I just feel like I can't move on I just feel so upset and lonely just please tell me what I do?

Have you read the stickies at the beginning of this forum and taken a few of those suggestions?? That's a good place to start.

Threads merged

I really need help here, I think I am suffering from severe depression, but I don't think about it when I'm with my boyfriend, so I basically want to be with him 24/7, it's like I get afraid of alone time! I understand that he wants his alone time and that he needs it but at the same time I feel as if he is neglecting me and not thinking about my feelings, then I feel selfish and awful. I would feel a hell of a lot better if I had more things to do with my alone time, but I feel as if I haven't got any mates to do anything with because most of them are busy being full time mums or are too busy or don't invite me anywhere, I feel as if I have to do all the running about. Thing is I expect my boyfriend to stay in with me on the weekend when I feel loneliness the most, which he does sometimes but other times he just has to go out with his best mate without me, and I get so angry and think that he doesn't care about me at all I just feel so alone and I feel as if he doesn't listen to me or just ignores me and acts selfish about it. I hate it when he goes out though because I never have ought to do, I end up on Facebook for half of the night and I get so fed up and think about all the things on my mind and start crying. How do I stop myself being like this? I also have dreams about him braking up with me and it hurts me because it feels so real, I'm really scared of being on my own I hate it so much =[ please someone have answers!

Well, I've recently come out of a depression myself and I did share some of the experiences you're going through.

Its not an easy thing to do while you're feeling like you aren't worth much and especially since you won't find much activities that are entertaining and won't bore you quickly. I'd just tell you to try and accept that your boyfriend needs to have fun by himself as well and you will need to learn to cope with it.

What I'd suggest is try to find something to do that you find enjoyable and that you can't do while you're spending time with your boyfriend.

While I was trying to get past this, I'd often get bored and wander for hours but I started watching some TV shows en masse, some movies and even playing some video games. Work is also a good place to put your head in.

Try to do the things you need to get out of your system so that when you can be with your boyfriend, you won't have to worry and your obligations will be resolved and hopefully accomplished instead of delayed.

Your boyfriend isn't being selfish or anything, I'm sure he cares about you. The thing is, you can't rely on him to fill every single second of your life, if you do, what are you going to do when he's gone?

My advice is to first of all, find something you like doing that won't dry up quickly, even if its just TV, Books, games or even learning a new language. Try to keep yourself busy while he's having fun.

It'll have a good influence on your relationship as well since he'll be happy that you give him "me time" and he'll cherish the moments with you a lot more.

At least give it a try! :)

I suggest you make an appointment with your doctor if you think you might be depressed.
Maybe you would benefit from seeing a therapist and get professional help with your issues.

You can't expect to be joined at the hip with your boyfriend-that's not healthy,you both need time alone and doing things apart.

Find things to occupy yourself with during your spare time.
Make friends,get a new hobby and try to get out of use rut you seem stuck in.

Thanks for that, I think I need help with coping with my depression the most, but I always back out of getting help for some reason, I just feel like I need more mates that are free to come out with me in my life! And before we had a long brake I so him on a Thursday morning and he made me go out on Friday and he went out on Sat but I work on Sunday, and luckily I was off so I went to see him on Monday night and he was texting me on this long brake telling me how much he missed me and this made me feel good because sometimes I get the impression that he doesn't miss me as much as I miss him! And when we were together he wanted to see me all week and told me he thinks time apart makes us appreciate each other more! But I don't have money all the time to go out every time he does!

Threads merged

Right me and the boyfriend have been together nearly 4 month, but I am not happy at all, it's like he doesn't listen to my needs. And for me to be happy he needs to stop talking to this girl who has been trying to flirt with him for ages I knew about her before we got together but I thought she would stop. I think that she is being pathetic, and needs to get a grip before I grip my hands round her throat she calls him the names that I'm meant to call him: babe, baby, hunnie, etc and sends him love and talks about him texting her saying sorry I didn't text back. I am not possessive and I don't want people thinking that but I get so angry when she sends wall posts to him I am pretty sure she is doing it to winde me up! I mean I blocked a fb account of hers so I couldn't see to help me get over it, then all of a sudden she used a different account, surprise surprise that's a bit strange? When I try to tell him about it, he accuses me of controlling me and I would never do that but shouldn't he put me 1st instead of stupid people like that! I am getting really frustrated! And when I tell him I'm going to message her he goes I wouldn't do that she will make up so much I know what she is like she will us both up! If that's the case why doesn't he tell her to do one and block contact from her! It's really hurting me I'm fed up of getting messed around if I am!

I think you should dump him if he is not taking you seriously or taking into account your needs. He should at least address the problem.

It sounds like he's interested in the girl if he's not willing to cut her off.

My friend was in exactly the same situation. Eventually she became fed up with her boyfriend and dumped him.

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Originally Posted by xshorty_jessx

right me and the boyfriend have been together nearly 4 month, but i am not happy at all

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This is exactly why you are allowed to break up with people and end a relationship. If you aren't happy, then get out. It isn't worth trying to change him and you certainly won't change the girl that is flirting with him.

I also think you have your own issues you need to work out before even considering being in a relationship.

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/search...archid=6139628

Life's too short, get a new boyfriend. It sounds like the one you have isn't so great. I wouldn't invest anymore time:)

The first thing you need to do is get yourself to a doctor and get some help for your depression, then stop depending on your boyfriend so much, and start doing for yourself a lot more.

Once you get the proper help the whole world will look different and hopefully better.

Is this the same guy from last year?

No it it isn't and he treats me so good but I have a few problems

And why does he think I don't trust him because of that stupid writing stuff like that and stirring up it's doing my head in

Hmmm... I definitely think you need to see a dr about the depression. Trust me, I know its hard. But its worthwhile! YOU need to be healthy so you can have a healthy relationship!

At first, I wasn't sure about the girl... I wasn't sure if maybe you would just have to communicate your feelings and deal with her flirting as long as your boyfriend isn't.

BUT then you said that he said 'dont message her because she will make stuff up and wind us both up'. WHY is he saying she will 'make stuff up?'... what is she going to make up? How does he know this! Is he trying to hide something, and so if you do message her and she says something you won't like, he is covering in advance by warning she will 'make stuff up?'

OR if genuinly will make stuff up, why does he want her as a friend? Why not cut contact? I wouldn't want a friend that does that.

I think you need to dump him and leave him to his silly girls. He will be the same with them. Please don't waste years of not trusting someone, being jealous, angry, trying to change yourself etc for someone else. Its not worth it.

Lately my boyfriend is acting a bit strange, he tells me that he thinks I don't trust him which I do? But sometimes I wonder what he is paranoid about. He was on a night out before and I texted him saying I've just seen him as a joke because I joke a lot, and for some reason he went off his head at me and almost split with me but why be like that over a silly little joke and he accused me of playing games and trying to catch him out, but catch him out with what??
There's this girl who writes to him on Facebook flirty messages and she has done it since the first day of going out and she won't stop! It's been nearly 4 month now! And the other night I finally lost it and told her to get lost and find her own boyfriend and she called me all sorts and I told my boyfriend, and he went mad at me for writing to her but went mad at her to for calling me, but not as mad as I expected him to get I sometimes get the impression that he likes her flirting with him! He should have just stopped contact to her! Seen as it's not just me telling him to get rid even his mates tell him! And he ended up having a "serious" chat with me the day after telling me it's driving him mad me checking up on him when I wasn't I went to write a nice message on his wall and she was there! It shouldn't be me he is having a serious chat with it should be her!
So here I am really confused with his behavior and this morning, he texted me telling me he was meeting his girl mate on Friday, on his day off from work for a few drinks which I don't mind but it did upset me a bit because I also have a day off and he has decided to spend it with this lass! It seemed like he was testing me for some reason, I just texted back saying okay, and he seemed gob smacked? So what's that all about, I don't like the way he is acting towards me at all lately! I feel as if I am getting treated wrong and I also think he only wants me during the week and his mates at weekend and I feel really left out an angry at him with the way he's been. What do I do? He seems to think he is perfect and isn't doing ought wrong even though I feel unhappy!

Omg drop him like a hot potato

Okay... Harshness Warning

I'd be mad too if you started messaging my friends flipping out on them. Ask before you do something like that! He has a friend who's a girl, he wants to spend time with friends, he doesn't have to spend every waking hour with you! I live with my fiancé and I still go out with my friends, sometimes they are girls. It's called trust. You get upset over the little things, he has a life outside of you, perhaps you should get one too.

If you can't handle Facebook in a mature manner GET Off IT! Kids these days put too much weight on those stupid sites. OMG he has that girl in his top friends. I'm not his top friend. He doesn't love me. Get off it!

This thread was merged with your most recent one,where you mention being depressed.
If you think this is the case,make an appointment to see your GP and get help.

How do you spend your time?
See your own friends and do things you enjoy.

People need to see their friends and do things apart.
Being together 24/7 isn't healthy.

WHen one of his friends of the opposite sex is hitting on him and fighting with his own GF over him! You do not hang out with her, just the two of you! She has a reason to be mad here, and shouldn't be wondering why he is doing this, but rather just breaking up with this loser of a BF. This girls intentions are not just to be HIS friend.
Being depressed or not , his behaviour is one that should not have to be tolerated!

Dyno, he's not going out with that friend. Reread the post, it just says he's going out for drinks with a girl. It doesn't say that it's the same girl. The OP should clarify that, but I'm not going to assume it.

She has a huge dependency problem that she needs to seek counseling for

Ohh haha sorry I read it as it being that girl. She said mate lol, to me mate means something different here in canada, then a lot of the eastern countries lol.

Lol yea, it took me awhile to get used to as well. When I hear mate, I think relationship partner

I just think he is testing me because I was going to go out so I asked him if he was going out all night and he went mental at me saying I don't let him do ought but I didn't even say anything like that!

I think you both play too many games. Never have I seen so many games played, you telling him you're dating him just as a joke. Really? Did you think that was a good idea?

No you have that wrong! I said I text him saying I've just seen him as a joke and he went mad! I am not playing any kind of game with him because I isn't like that. But he is always going on about his ex but with what he tells me about her, I'm nothing like that, maybe he is just worried I'll end up like her I don't know what is going on in his mind!

Maybe that's the whole problem. Two people who have issues and don't know what to do about it, can't help, love, and support each other because they have their own issues, blinding them.

I have posted a lot of posts on here about what's going on this week because so many changes are happening, and I am beginning to find it hard to cope! My boyfriend is acting proper off with me lately, I hear that he talks about me to my mates and his mates telling them I do his head in, and that he wants to be with his mates at weekends and me during week, but I'm sorry I only see him 3 times in the week, I don't think he is being fair, I am really beginning to dislike him, I mean he told me that this weekend we could spend time together as he is going on a trip next week with the lads and next thing you know he is telling me he is off to his mates house for some beer, he's let me down and hurt me doing this! And I told him I was going to my mates party on Friday and he has gone and said he is coming? What's that all about? So basically he's allowed to come out with me but I isn't allowed to go out with him? Anyway I confronted him and said it feels like you can't be arsed with me these days, and he text back saying of course I can I just want to go out more with the guys, but you can come if you like but don't give me any ! Any? What the hell does he think that for so I text back saying what am I going to give you proper confused! And he didn't say ought and just told me his mates girlfriend will be there so I won't be only girl and it was like he was being all nice after me confronting him! And a few hours on I text him telling him how much he meant to me telling him I loved him and all I got back was do you really and I said of course I love you, I love you like you love me, well I hope so and he text back saying I do but sometimes I hate you. I found that really horrible! And I said I didn't want to lose him and he told me that I wouldn't if I changed my ways, but I'm not doing ought wrong? I let him go out but he can't expect to go out every weekend without seeing me because it makes me feel neglected! You might not understand me and think I am being in the wrong but I don't think I am, I think he is finding a way of making me out to be a bad one which I'm really not. I just feel so lonely at the moment, he's got to start treating me right though! Before I have big regrets! Sometimes I get the feeling that he misses single life but come on for gods sake he is 24, I thought he was different from the rest, how wrong was I? But I am beginning to hate men sorry for men who read this but I haven't come across a decent one yet sick of being mistreated! When I have perfectly nothing wrong with me!

Perhaps a "break" would help the two of you find out what you really want. That'll either fix things or show that it's time for an actual break up.

break? He said he doesn't do all that, so if we were to have this brake he wouldn't get back with me =[ I just feel really unhappy in myself! I just feel like life is pointless

This is what I would do, he is giving you no attention right, and you are trying sooooo hard to get attention from him. Well right now, in his mind, he has his girlfriend wrapped around his little finger. He knows he can do what he wants and you put up with it.
Is what you should do is show him NO ATTENTION whatsoever!! Only put in as much effort into the relationship as he does. If you can see right now, all this effort you focusing on your relationship is only pushing your boyfriend away. So if you really want him to start wanting you again, MAKE HIM MISS YOU! So I would completely stop texting him, don't ask him to hang out, just do your own thing! If you continue to just nag him, and beg for him to hang out with you and get angry over the fact that he isn't showing you the attention you deserve, this relationship will die.
Just try this advice, you have nothing to lose, the relationship is going bottoms up!
WHen you stop texting him, asking him to hang out, he will notice this, and will be coming to you.
When he confronts you about this, just pretend like nothing is wrong, that your having a fabulous time without him.

I found out why he is being weird with me, it's because his gran is really ill, I feel kind of selfish now, but my instincts was telling me they were something up with him!

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Originally Posted by xshorty_jessx

i found out why he is being weird with me, it's coz his gran is really ill, i feel kinda selfish now, but my instincts was telling me they was something up with him!

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This is most likely an excuse in my opinion