I'm scared he thinks it's not possible for things to go back to how they were before.
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Me and my ex had a very special relationship. We were eachothers' first loves and we cared about each other a lot. We had something special and meaningful. It was amazing.
Then, because of distance, we grew apart. He broke up with me because he didn't feel the same anymore.
Now, distance isn't an issue anymore. And I think we can go back to how we were before. But he is over me and isn't interested.
But even though I don't feel the same anymore either, when I think of him and being with him, I think of how things used to be. Because I want to get that back and truly believe it is possible. That's why, when it comes to letting go and moving on, it hurts because I feel like I'm letting go of that special thing we had. And I don't want to because we had something special and I don't want to lose it.
But I'm scared that when he thinks of me, and being with me, he is just thinking of how things are NOW and not how they were before. Because maybe he thinks that things can never go back to how they were before. So he wants to let go and move on, because to him, he is only letting go of what we have NOW (which isn't that special or anything) so he wants to let it go since it isn't even good. And to him, he is only losing what we have NOW.
But I don't want him to think that way, because we CAN get back what we had before. I don't want him to just think about now, I want him to think about before too because it can come back. And if we move on, we are losing that too. And I know it was very special to him too and he wouldn't want to lose it.
Looking back at relationships
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Sometimes even though people move on, they still always remember a particular relationship. It always has a place in their heart, and they fondly look back at old memories reminicing. They talk about special times they had with a smile on their face because they remember how they felt and old feelings come back to them as they remember/relive those memories.
And other times, people move on, but when they look back at a relationship, they remember what happened and nothing more. Its just like a fact to them. They remember this and this and this happened but it doesn't really mean anything to them anymore. They don't really care for it anymore.
It's hard to explain but I know that there is a difference. For example when I look back at certain memories with one of my exs, I feel nothing for them.. its just blah. I just recognize it happened, and if I relive it in my head, it's almost awkward.. to mentally experience that with that person.. since I feel nothing for them.
But my friend, she looks back at memories of her first love, and she smiles. She talks about them very fondly and they still make her feel the way they made her feel when they happened.
She doesn't have feelings for him or anything, she is with someone else and loves the new person.
So what makes some relationships "always stay in your heart" and others not?
My ex hates me and thinks I'm crazy. Will his opinion ever change?
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After we broke up, we stayed friends. He gradually started talking to me less as he lost interest, and I started putting more of an effort into talking to him. Plus I told mutual friends how much I still liked him, and they went and told him. So he started avoiding me, telling everyone I keep trying to get back together and won't leave him alone. I never begged and pleaded! Only spoke to him as a friend, but he still thought that.
Anyway now he has the worst opinion of me. He thinks I'm crazy. He makes fun of me and I'm like a joke to him now. He thinks I'm weird and clingy and just crazy.
I know you all are going to say that his opinion of me shouldn't matter and I should move on. I know I should move on and that's what I'll do. But I don't want him to think this badly of me. I don't want to be remembered like this.
Is there any way to improve his opinion of me?
Leaving him alone is often suggested but will that really help?
I feel like if I just leave it, no matter how much time passes he'll still always remember me this way.. because this is how it left off so it's the last thing he knows.
I was thinking maybe explain myself.. how I was only trying to be friends and I didn't mean anything else. Or maybe even admit I was being crazy and agree with him, and apologize, say I don't know what got into me..