Hi!I'm a 22 years old young woman and I live in france. Since a year I've been with my boyfriend he is 34 now. I love him so much and he says that he loves me but he decided to break up because he wants to travel all over the world to cure people(he a doctor).I told him that I could wait for him but he says I don't have to and I should enjoy my life.But I can't, I feel like it's impossible. I t's like I'm invisible and now he is moving on easily, tomorrow he's going on vacation alone when we used to go together... He says he will never get married and always travel like that. So I want to move on also but I can't when I imagine my future I always see him because at the beginning he told me he wanted to be with me forever he introduced me to all his family... for me it was the very first time.I know I'm important for him but I'm so confused to see how he's moving on when I'm stucked.
He says it is because I'm young do you think so?
What should I do? Please advise me I'm lost and embarrassed for not being strong enough to move on like him...

He used you and the natural thing you should do is NoContact and get a hobby. Sorry to burst you bubble but you are not important to him anymore since he move on with his life.

His feelings changed and he has been honest about his not seeing a future with you.

You heal from the breakup by taking an active approach to getting over him.
Keep busy and do things that make you feel good.

Go no contact as this will stop your confusion and prevent overanalyzing his actions.

You will get over him,with time and patience.
Take care.

Yes it's hard to hear(read) this... But it's not the first time we break up and I always went back but this time I really want to be strong but it's hard and that's why I came here for some advises and help.

If you go "No Contact" you won't be tempted into any involvement with him. Seriously - NO text, calls, visits, or e-mails. That's the only way you're going to be able to move on with your life.

I'm sure you'd like to get married someday and have kids, and he's already decided that it's not going to happen with him. Don't let him use you. Be strong! You'll get through it.

I think you're making a good choice by sticking to your decision.

Yes it's hard,but you'll get over him,
Have you read the stickies at the top of the relationship page?
You'll find lots of helpful advice there.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by amicon

I think you're making a good choice by sticking to your decision.

Yes it's hard,but you'll get over him,
Have you read the stickies at the top of the relationship page?
You'll find lots of helpful advice there.

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Yes I'm reading it now.People tell me that time will heal it but when you're in it it's like when your mother's telling you everything will be all right.
Now when I read everything you people are writing I'm literally crying lone with my computer. I don't have any close friend to talk about it because they see me as a strong girl.I feel ashamed and I don't want people to know that I'm suffering inside.Where I come from a girl doesn't cry for a man so with my family I have to look strong.Every night I go to bed and I'm feeling so incomplete, exhausted... Just crying. It is so helpful to be able to put out my feelings here.

Coming here was a good choice-it helps to share your feelings.
Are you sure you can't confide in a close friend though?
Its tough having to pretend to be strong when you feel sad and hurt.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by amicon

Coming here was a good choice-it helps to share your feelings.
Are you sure you can't confide in a close friend though?
Its tough having to pretend to be strong when you feel sad and hurt.

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That's the worst: we had this kind of relationship when you start to forget about your best friends because you're spending all your time with the one you love.Now I see it was just me trying to do my best to be with him all the time.I lost a lot of friends and when I'm still in connection with them we're not that close any more... So I come here... it does help.

I would try to rekindle my friendships if I were you.
Do you work? If so is there maybe somebody there that you could befriend?

You need to be around people and expand your social circle.

No I don't work. I study dentistry.yes I'm trying to rekindle my friendships.I go out and I see people some guys are interested in me but I'm comparing them to my ex I'm not ready for something knew.All my girlfriends I rekindle with are in a relationship. It is difficult to see them so happy in their relationship when I'm breacking up... no jealousy just feeling bad. Thank you amicon you are really helping me. God bless you! I'm so down and talking about it helps so much( I know I'm repeating myself).

I'm glad to be of help.

What about your fellow students?
You might make new friends there.

As for dating others you are right its much too soon,you need to get over him first.

Yes Monday when I'll be there I'll do my best to be friendly with the others.I'll smile and will be opened to the world.I'll buy at least 3 agatha christie novels on Monday.I will not call him but he calls me everyday.He says he wants to know if I'm doing good.You think I shouldn't answer the phone?

That's a good idea-and smiling makes us feel better.

You know, no contact means just that so you shouldn't be talking to him at all.
It slows down the healing process.

I like Agatha Cristie,too!

OK! OMG it's going to be hard . You know I didn't tell this at the beginning because I'm feeling ashamed about it. In June I was pregnant and he was the dad. He told me he wanted the baby.I said no.I'm too young and what I study is very hard I need to focus on it.So I decided that I wouldn't have the baby.(don't judge me please) This was the hardest thing I ever did and an humiliation.Now it's like he is a part of me because he has actually been.So yes not answering to his phone calls will be hard... but I'll do my best.

Don't be ashamed,that's the choice you made taking your circumstances into consideration.

As for the no contact it will be hard in the beginning at it gets easier by the day.

Again thanks from the bottom of my heart amicon(and all those who did answer tonight)God bless. You know I really believe in God and now I sometimes think all this pain comes because I did what I did with this baby.Like a punishment... But I'm going to persevere.If I'm starting to doubt or feeling down I'll come again hoping you will be there with good advice again.I'm going to bed now (in france it is 1:30 am )and without crying for the first time since the breakup! Thanks to you!

I think that you probably made the right decision. I think you were in between a rock and a hard place. He may have wanted the baby at the time, but I get the feeling that he would have quickly found it to be a trap or you would have been left at home for long periods acting as essentially a single parent. That would have unfair to you.

No Contact will probably help you a lot along with understanding that you are both on different paths.

Sometimes, it takes a lot of strength to ask for help or to let those close to you know that you are human. You aren't just crying over the man. You are mourning a relationship and dealing with the guilt and sadness of hard decision and 'what might have been'. Give yourself time and understanding. It won't be easy, but you will come out stronger in the end.

Thank you for your kind words Misty.
I hope you wake up to a good day.
Come back whenever you need to.
Take good care of yourself and God bless.

We all feel your pain, Misty. We have all been through the same thing, but it does get better.

Especially if you stop all contact with him.

Thanks everybody!I feel really better today!thanks to you. I spoke with my sister today.She is younger than me... I should've been an example to her... But I guess she has to find another example... I cried a lot. I never told anything about a baby to my family they would juge me... so now I can't even share this secret with anyone just GoD and you people.He didn't call today. He used to call everyday... Now I know if he does I'll have to ignore him. I'll try my best. I won't allow him to play with me again.

It's good you spoke with your sister.
Don't worry about having to be a perfect older sister,you are surely loved by your family for who you are.

As for speaking about your termination,what about confession?
I don't know what your faith is but that might be a good thing.

I know that as the days go by and you stay with the no contact you will feel better.