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I been with him going into 3 years, I am not working at the moment but all the bills are under my name,all this is what he had to pay off but I don't think that will happen now. I have good credit and now I am scared that this will eventually mess it up for me. I think this is the only think keeping me from leaving and I think he knows that. I am feeling so low at the moment.
What's the question?
Why did you get the debt in your name, what tpe of debt is it, what was it for, and how much is it
Yes, what type of bills are you talking about? Household bills like electric, gas, that sort of thing?
The reason why ( the breakup) its his 12 year old son. Whom I have done allot for and within the past few months until he began visiting his mother on the weekends and was coming back with a whole negative attitude, he has bad bad grades and very disrespectful to me to the point where his father grounded him and he called the cops on us saying we where hitting him when we never did.he lies about 30 times a day to the point where the social worker said he will begin counceling. This is just a small portion of all this,when do I say enough is enough.
A dirt bike for $5,000. Credits cards cell phone, we did it all because he has bad credit and I began building mine up. I'm just happy I got denied for my engagement ring that was going to be another $5,000
Protect your credit and your name, it could be a lifelong lesson you are learning. Time to think about Small Claims, depending on the type of debt, but in the end, it's you with the most to lose and continuing to stay may increase that debt.
Accept some responsibility also, he could not use your credit if you were not allowing him to.
Im really not sure how to answer your question. Are you asking if you should leave him? Is that what you are trying to decide right now?Quote:
Originally Posted by moon80
I need advice.I just feel so lost
I do love him but what should I do.do I stay or call it quits.and the parrt of my credit s@ares me too
The credits cards he did online.he told it would help my credit and I lovenly stupidly believed anddid not question him.he knws my social by heart.
First seek legal advice-I'm not qualified to tell you how that works where you live. Secondly,he sounds like a jerk,leave him.
So the only reason you desire to stay is to protect your credit?
Doesn't sound to me like your lost, does that sound like a reason people stay together?
Well as having first hand experience with credit, if it's in your name, you own it. It's the sad reality. My fiance's ex took out credit cards in her name and then didn't pay them, the credit companies came after her. You would have to prove he did them, which is hard. The dirt bike, all he has to say is that it was a gift from you.
Work on paying off the debt and take it as a lesson learned. We can't tell you what to do, but if I were in that situation, I'd leave because it doesn't seem he has your best intentions at heart
Thank you all very much. I just don't know why I'm so scared to leave bottom line I'm not happy.and I know what it is I need to do now.thank you all.
Thank u all, thanks with all my heart
I hope it works out for you-take good care of yourself and good luck.
Leave first, and consult a lawyer so you know what your rights are and what to expect. The burden of proof in small claims court is a lot more liberal than a regular court, and though you cannot get every penny back, half would surely help, since you did go along willingly with him.
Get the facts, and you may be pleasantly surprised, at your legal options.
Hi everyone.its march and I some how did it,I left. I still don't know how but I got my stuff and daughter and left., I am still in debt by him but I just could not stay his abuse mentally and emotionally got worse and its been sometime that he has put his hands on me put I knew it was coming again.. I just wanted to say to all you left your comments thank you so much,, I always kept it in my head what you all wrote to me,, I am scared, I am not going to lie, but I know I didn't deserve this for me or my little girl to grow up in a unhappy toxic home BTW it is not his daughter in case you where wondering.
I could write a book about the past 3 yrs but I am ready for this new chapter in my life... but its been hard, a lot of mix emotions I been having sadness missing him wondering if I did the right thing when I know I did, being scared off all the credit debt he left me with.. so please it will be nice to come back and find some words of encouragement, trust me there is no way I will go back to him and its not like he has even tried to come back, lol
Well done and all the best of luck to you and your daughter.
You'll be fine-you are a strong woman.
Threads merged
I just broke up and moved out from my boyfriend of 3 yrs but he was no good, his family was all negative his son was a troubled child and he emotionally mentally and physically abused me so why am I missing him so much and wondering if I did the right thing by leaving I know its stupid and I will never go back to him but why is my question for these feelings that are driving me nuts.
You're mourning the death of your relationship,which is normal-even though yours was a very unhappy one.
It takes time to heal from a breakup,so allow yourself time and be patient with yourself.
Your ex was abusive,so I think you are probably feeling a lot of anger towards him.
That's normal too.
Do things that make you feel good,be around people who care for you and keep moving forward.
I am glad you did right thing. Please stick with your decision, and move on.Quote:
Originally Posted by moon80
It is very normal, and breakup is not easy for anyone. You are valuable, lonely and sad now, and need some comfort. When we breakup, the feeling does not die at the moment we breakup. It takes time to heal, and this confusing feeling will fade away as time goes by.
Be strong, go out for walk, meet up some friends, and treat yourself good. Good Luck.
I think you have come from the dark into the light, and it can only get better from here. Repairing your credit may take time and some help, but at least you won't live in fear of your safety, and your daughter can be in a better environment. That's a win in my book. A big win. Way to go. You will get my support anytime you need it.
Threads merged
I moved out and left a week ago but I only took what was mine and my daughters. I did not take anything that was not mine.now he is saying that I took everything and left the apartment empty and will not return stuff that he said where gifts, is he saying this because of his pride or does he really believe this? Remember it was a bad relationship and I put up with it for to long abuse mentally emotionally and he hit me about ten times in the course of 3years but I told him that and he says it was all my fault and he never was mentally or emotionally when he so was. The only reason why I still text is because he has bills under my name to pay but that is all.he has not apologized or tried to get me back.I am just really confused in all this.I just wonder what is he really thinking and feeling.I want to move on but the feeling that I was really with some one that logn that is showing no care hurts me in some way.
What's the arrangement with these bills?
Are they actually in your name?
Get some legal advice on that so you can protect your financial status and stop worrying about what he is thinking.
He is an abusing creep,what goes through his mind is probably not understandable anyway.
( I think this thread needs to be merged with your other one.)
You tried to cope with it for a long time, and didn't get anything but pain and misery, I am so sorry.
I can only imagine how hard it must be, but you need to try and walk away
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