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So I have been getting really involved with this guy who is 10 years older than me. He is 31 almost 32 and I just turned 21 in August. And the only thing we pretty much have in common is the music we listen to and GO TO CONCERTS AND DRINK. IS IT OK TO PURSUE THIS EVEN THOUGH WE HAVE NOTHING ELSE IN COMMON??
I don't think age is a big deal, but you lack of common traits might be. I always wonder about people who live to drink. It's like that's all they have. If that is all you want from somebody than I guess you should stay with him. If you want more, start seeking out more.
I don't think it is nothing wrong woth dating someone older than you. Most ladys know what they want around that age and most gentlemen know what they want around their 30's anyway. So you mite as well that someone older and mature. Older men can also spoil you! Trust me I know.Quote:
Originally Posted by MJ6216
We don't live to drink... its just if we are at the bar or a concert yeah we will have some drinks... but we work during the week so we don't do it as much thenQuote:
Originally Posted by chuff
Quote:
Originally Posted by MJ6216
Well that's not a big deal.. but if all you have in common is music and drinking then maybe you should see someone else is all I was saying. If things are great then age isn't a big deal.
Hi Megan,Quote:
Originally Posted by MJ6216
Is this the same guy you talked about in your previous thread who is married?
Good question but no its not...Quote:
Originally Posted by Geoffersonairplane
O.K..
Then I agree with the other responses you have had.
But also, forget the married guy in your other thread and also the ex that keeps callintg you that you mentioned in your other thread.
And yes... nothing wrong with you dating an older man of this age because generally, the older we get, the more we have had a chance to understand what we want.
In time, you will learn what it is you want too!
Its pretty funny I'm only 21 and I have such bad luck with guys huh? HahaQuote:
Originally Posted by Geoffersonairplane
Don't mean to seem patronising in any way...
But... perhaps you are going for the wrong guys?
When you say bad luck, what kind of bad luck?
Are you referring to the married guy scenario?
Yeah there was him and then the guy who robbed my house and then the guy who was way to into drugs, I know I am into the wrong type of guys but you know people like what they like. And for some reason I like the d0uche Bag$!! You know and no you are not sounding patronising I am asking cause I need advice!! And I thank you for giving me some!!Quote:
Originally Posted by Geoffersonairplane
I think that is the age thing Megan, you are 20/21 and at that age, women don't know what they want, they are still exploring life and in a way, you need to experiment to know what it is you want from another person.
How do I know, firstly, I am 26 and I never knew what I wanted when I was your age from another person, in fact, I was exploring who I was, having fun, experiencing life. In a way, I guess I still am, just not in the same way.
I have also recently split up with my ex who I was engaged to who was 17 when I met her and now 20, so stayed in a relationship with someone who did not have the chance to experiment and date different people. Not to say that I was not the right one for her, but at 20, she felt like she was missing out on something that every 20 year old should do before they commit to just one person. I spent 3 years with her and I only just realise now after we split up what I should have realised when I first met her...
You live and learn!
This is true. But for only being 21 i have done a lot of things that normal 21 year olds haven't done or have never done. I mean i was engaged at 17 as well. And when i broke it off with him that's when i started living my life. Going to as many concerts as i can... trying new things... meeting new people who in the end all taught me something. I mean i know what i want in a guy and i know that i want someone to go to concerts with me and be able to hang out with me and my friends and be there for me physically and emotionally. And when i first meet these guys i didn't know that they were all going to be that type of person in the end. So... i don't know... but i do know what i want in a man.Quote:
Originally Posted by Geoffersonairplane
Sometimes what you want is not what is right for you...
But you can't change what you want to suit what is right for you!
It's a tough ball game.
IT REALLY IS!!Quote:
Originally Posted by Geoffersonairplane
I think it is the married guy.
Seriously - if this guy is married - stay away. This is the same story you wrote about.
The married guy CHEATED on his wife- he will cheat on you.
Ladies - you can NEVER trust a married guy who cheats. Never.
No trust in a relationship - there is no relationship.
You're just setting yourself up for MASSIVE heartache.
And what about the wife's feeling and if there are kids.
Actually no its not the married guy... the older guy is a completely a different guy and hes not married trust me...Quote:
Originally Posted by Wildcat21
Two recent ex's and another one all lined up... forgive me Megan but maybe you should sloooooooow down a bit and consider what it is you ARE doing to attract the wrong type. Looking too available might be one of the things you do, too... or meeting men in places that aren't exactly conducive to meeting the right guys, iffen you know what I mean :rolleyes:Quote:
Originally Posted by MJ6216
... just a few thoughts here.
I don't act like im to available. Especially because i hang out with all guys. And i mean im not meaning to meet these guys and have them like me... i can't help their feelings. I meet a lot of different people at concerts... i can't help it if im a nice person and talk to everyone!!Quote:
Originally Posted by valinors_sorrow
Too many man problems for you.
Time to forget men for a little while and work out why you become attracted to these wrong guys.
No men. Work on yourself.
Once you have don this and become a healthy person yourself, you will attract a healthy man and you won't have all this drama.
Good luck!
Well maybe you problem is that you are too nice a person and talk to everyone.
Perhaps you need to learn to make better judgments on people.
You don't have to like or become involved with everyone you meet. You have to set boundaries and build barriers or you will continue to be hurt.
Ok but im not asking for this drama... like i said before i can't help it if im a nice person that talks to everyone!! If they want my number i give it to them just so i can have new people to hang out with i never mean for it to progress in to more... ya knowQuote:
Originally Posted by Skell
Well are you going to learn your lesson?
Maybe it is a bad idea just to go giving your number out randomly to everyone because you are such a nice person.
This policy doesn't seem to be working to well for you so it might be about time to take a change of direction.
Build some barriers. Protect yourself from the possible drama by not being so willing simply give your number to everyone and anyone.
In effect by doing this you are asking for this drama.
No one says you mean to find this drama but surely if you are continually getting the same results with the same actions it might be an indication that it is time to change your actions.
just a thought!
I agree with Skell, and was going to spread the rep, but the site won't let me for the moment..Quote:
Originally Posted by Skell
By giving your number out so much to the wrong people, you are giving out the wrong message.
I know you may not want to do this, you are a nice person who wants to meet new people but Skell is right, you need to change your direction..
You are falling into patterns and getting the same results based on the same actions you are taking..
The sooner you realise this, the sooner you will begin to get different results of a more positive nature..
The definition of insanity: Doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results!
What exactly is it that you're "pursuing?" The age difference notwithstanding, if the only thing you two really have in common is going to concerts and drinking then you don't sound like a very good match. You can see each other and enjoy each others' company but I wouldn't count on it turning into anything serious and lasting. You'd do well to get out of the mindset of "pursuing" something with him given the circumstances.
Why are you telling us that he isn't the same married man? :confused:
He is the same man. I went back and fort to your other post and I know he is the same man!
Unless he is very similar and likes the same music and goes to same concerts as you?
Hmmmmm, Something seems fishy here!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Krs
Megan,
You must understand the confusion everyone is having with your 2 threads, one with the married man and this one which you say is not the married man yet seems remarkably similar to the other guy.
Forgive us if we are reading this the wrong way, but you can understand the confusion?
This needs explaining unless you don't mind getting mixed answers..
To be honest, I can't keep up with these two posts, so much so, I'm going for a run now!
No he isn't the same man... i talk to people that listen to the same music as i do... and coincidently i met the older man at a concert but it is not the same married man!! I know he is not married cause i was just at his house on saturday!!Quote:
Originally Posted by Krs
Ok... yes we all listen to the same music. But the married man never brought me to his house. Because of the fact of the wife. The older man, yes we listen to the same music, but i was just at his house on saturday... i mean is there anything else you people would like to know that's different about these two please feel free to askQuote:
Originally Posted by Geoffersonairplane
One question,
What do you feel when you are alone?
No male company e.t.c.
I FEEL FINE... WHYQuote:
Originally Posted by Geoffersonairplane
I was just wondering if Tal was right in his previous answer, that you like the drama and walk the wild side...
No one is trying to be overcritical here, just trying to understand your situation more.
My opinion is... I think you do walk the wild side... BIG TIME!!
And that is fine, you are 20/21.. Great live life now while you are still young..
Things will change though as you get older... and you will see things so differently.
I was out partying when I was your age, loved it and would not have become the man I am today if I did not go through the wild stage..
I have come to appreciate different things in life and I am still learning now!!
Life is great, sometimes cruel but great! Would you say?
Yeah i would, and i know that when it comes time for me to settle down and have a family im not going to be like this anymore. But with all the bad stuff that i have been through from the ages of 17-21 ive learned that im not going to sit back and watch my life pass me by... im going to go and party it up... sure you think i walk the wild side but to me i don't see it that way.. now my family on the other hand they think that i do and that i need to slow down. But i mean i have tried many many things. And your not that much older than me so there is no reason that you can't go out like me!!Quote:
Originally Posted by Geoffersonairplane
Sorry.. I did not mean it in a patronising way.Quote:
Originally Posted by MJ6216
You have fun, you are doing nothing wrong. And yes, I am not much older than you and I do go out an have a good time but possibly not in the same way. It depends what you mean by party.. Believe me, I know what it means to party but don't think like that anymore.
Believe me, 5 years can do a lot!
Just don't make an a**e of yourself on the dancefloor like I used to... LOL
Haha... i don't think your patronising me in any way and i mean i don't really go out during the week because i have to go to work ya know. Basically i party like a rockstar with the rockstars... haha... thats how i see it... i mean if you have ever hung out with a metal band you know they like to party... i mean i don't do the drugs but i do do my fair share of drinking. And i don't go to dance clubs... im not big on dancing unless i have a few drinks in me...Quote:
Originally Posted by Geoffersonairplane
Quote:
Originally Posted by Geoffersonairplane
There's nothing like partyin like a brit does :D
I lived in UK for 6 years - I know the score lol
HAHAHAQuote:
Originally Posted by Krs
My ex was into rnb music..
I could not stand it..
Uggggghhhhhhh
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