Hi guys,

Here is some brief background on my relationship with my Ex. About a year and a half ago we met, were extremely good friends, got a long very well, shared everything together. Throughout the relationship we had the same wants and needs, the same goals in life and we still do. Of course we had our fights but we were great at communicating with one another so we usually quickly resolved them. Lately in the past six months things have gone down hill, we have failed to communicate and fights have became almost every day. We were both tired of this and because she was pushing me away (very very clingy) I became close to my friend of five years which is a girl. This only hurt my ex at the time so we both decided it would be better to be friends even though she sort of broke it off with me. Anyway just to clarify, nothing was going on with this girl, my ex was just very insecure.

So we broke up at the end of October and for the first month of the break up I was doing fine we both had extremely low contact and we basically hated each other. She kissed two other guys while at a party and made sure I knew too. So about a week ago, I emailed her and asked her to talk, no strings attached. She accepted and I called her. The phone call was long and amazing. She apologised for everything she had done to me and said things like "maybe we just needed a break", "I think we will get back together" at one point she even whispered "I miss you". At the end of the phone call, she immediately texted me saying I'm sorry if I confuse you by this but you are always on my mind and I always wonder what you are doing and I get jealous when I hear of you and other girls still. She then said "I still love you and I am so sorry if it hurts you to hear this". So as you can see this gave me hope that we would get back together. We talked for the next week as friends and met up one day for lunch. She expressed to me that she is still in love with me but she doesn't want a relationship "right at this point in time", she just wants to be single and enjoy herself. Oh and I know there isn't another guy involved. Despite her saying this she couldn't keep her hands off me, she hugged me and tried hard to kiss me but I pulled away. We both admitted we still have an extremely strong attraction to each other and its hard to deny.

So we continued to speak through this week and we met up once more. Again, she couldn't keep her hands off me and I actually asked her why she couldn't and she said "because I am still in love with you, I'm sorry". Anyway before I left, we kissed and it was passionate. She pulled me in closer and closer but at the end she got somewhat frustrated. She said "I don't want a relationship with any guy despite my feelings for you, I just want to be single right now" I said I respect your decision, but I can't remain "friends" with her as this will only hurt me more. So I spoke to her over IM and told her I will be going no contact with her. I wished her a merry christmas, a happy new year and good luck. We work together so I told her I am still going to have the courtesy to say hello but it will go no farther than that.

So my question is here, have I done the right thing? The first time I called her she was so happy to hear from me but as time went on that wore off and it just went back to like how it was in the relationship, her not seeming so interested. I know she is very confused, she told me that. I admit I'm confused too. I really want to be with her, but I don't want to jump into a relationship either. I know there is something really special between us, I can just feel it. I am not the sort of guy to pursue something that I think would be a waste of time. She told me not to worry about her for a while and do whatever I want to do (date girls, see girls) she also acknowledged that it would hurt her and she might lose me but she said it is my loss and it is a risk I am willing to take because right now I can't be in a relationship. Towards the end our relationship was extremely stressful so I can see why she is like this. I just feel like we are both denying our love for each other. We admit there is something special, and an extremely strong attraction between us, but she doesn't want to be in a relationship.

So it has been 3 days into no contact and right now I have the mentality "If we are meant to be, we are meant to be." and "If she truly did care for me, she will return" but I am NOT going to stop my life. I've started going to the gym, and I go out a lot more. I just want to enjoy myself really. So if she comes back, she does. If not, no contact would have helped to heal my wound so I win both ways.

What do you guys think?

Sounds like a good plan.

I wish I had the courage to do what your doing because my situation is almost identical to yours except see isn't seeing anyone else but I haven't mustured up the courage but I defiently think your on the right track

My Ex isn't seeing anyone else either. She has a lot of guy friends but that doesn't bother me because I have a lot of girl friends too. I haven't stopped my life for her, the night we kissed I went out with a really good female friend of mine and I spoke to my ex about this. She told me it still hurts her and she is jealous but this is the price she needs to pay for wanting to be single right now.

The thing that annoys me the most is that I know what I need to do to make things great between us again, only she isn't willing to try again. No contact seems to be my only option.

Oh and I've already made the mistake of being too clingy after that first phone call with her. That's what I think destroyed my chances with her this time around. Lucky I wasn't that little clingy girl for more than a week and I was able to move onto no contact quickly.

Sounds like you answered your own question.

You're doing the best thing possible and you'll be on your two feet in no time.

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Originally Posted by vanheart

Sounds like you answered your own question.

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True but I really am still in love her. Perhaps more than I ever have been.

I just don't want my hope to get in the way of myself healing.

During the month on low contact, I actually called her one time to yell at her for being nasty to a mate of mine. A week later the "talk" call took place and she told me her heart stopped when I called her even though it was to yell at me. After that night I blew it, I tried to push her and rush things so yeah she might have those feelings for me, but there is no way I will be getting her back right now even thought I want to be with her so bad.

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Originally Posted by carrera277

True but I really am still in love her. Perhaps more than I ever have been.

I just don't want my hope to get in the way of myself healing.

During the month on low contact, I actually called her one time to yell at her for being nasty to a mate of mine. A week later the "talk" call took place and she told me her heart stopped when I called her even though it was to yell at me. After that night I blew it, I tried to push her and rush things so yeah she might have those feelings for me, but there is no way I will be getting her back right now even thought I want to be with her so bad.

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I guess you're having doubts still. There is little chance of you two coming back together after a break up, especially since she said she clearly said she wanted to be single. She is not giving you false hope, so you can actually move on in peace. As hard as it is, you do need to continue NC no matter what, or you'll take more time to heal. With time, the cloudiness in your head will clear and you'll be able to see that you did a good thing for yourself.

That's the key. To not let your hope get in the way of healing.

Judging from your post, you guys fought a lot didn't communicate very well.

She sounds super insecure, jealous & doesn't know what she wants. But doesn't want you to be with anyone else. Keep you hanging around as she's kissing other guys.

Plus she told you not to worry about her for a while. What do you think that says?

Anyone woman says go ahead & date other girls & such, has no interest in anything serious with you.

Just flings.

Don't let that happen. Get on with things. Don't let this screw with your head.

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Originally Posted by paxe

I guess you're having doubts still. There is little chance of you two coming back together after a break up, especially since she said she clearly said she wanted to be single. She is not giving you false hope, so you can actually move on in peace. As hard as it is, you do need to continue NC no matter what, or you'll take more time to heal. With time, the cloudiness in your head will clear and you'll be able to see that you did a good thing for yourself.

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Maybe not false hope, but she does give me hope. She tells me that she gets shivers still when I hold her just like when we first started, she still tells me she loves me while I haven't got the courage to tell her that yet and worst of all she tells me she thinks we will get back together later on in the future. I honestly think she just needs to taste single life for a few months and so do I. I think she will contact me later on because she will realise and say to herself ", he is really gone this time". I know what kind of person she is like. But then again if she doesn't contact me I may break no contact in around February next year and see what happens.

Just do it now.

Your going down a hurtful path.

She can say whatever it is that you want to hear, but her actions are what's important.

She's playing you & you are letting her.

If you really knew what kind of person she is like, then you would still be together.

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Originally Posted by vanheart

Thats the key. To not let your hope get in the way of healing.

Judging from your post, you guys fought a lot didnt communicate very well.

She sounds super insecure, jealous & doesnt know what she wants. But doesnt want you to be with anyone else. Keep you hanging around as shes kissing other guys.

Plus she told you not to worry about her for a while. What do you think that says?

Anyone woman says go ahead & date other girls & such, has no interest in anything serious with you.

Just flings.

Dont let that happen. Get on with things. Dont let this screw with your head.

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That was towards the end though. The first probably year and three months were great. Great communication every single night and we saw each other regularly while at the same time going out with friends and leading our own lives. The last three months was where it just got ugly. Most of it was probably my fault. Because she was so insecure this only drove me from her. I look back now and regret that I ever pulled away but I guess you can only learn from your mistakes. I will be applying what I have learned either to her or to a new woman in the future.

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Originally Posted by vanheart

Just do it now.

Your going down a hurtful path.

She can say whatever it is that you wanna hear, but her actions are whats important.

Shes playing you & you are letting her.

If you really knew what kind of person she is like, then you would still be together.

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Sorry for the double post above.

And yeah I am looking out for her actions. That is what is confusing. She stares into my eyes when we are together, she always tries to hold me, when she hugs me its never short always long and she is gripping on to me tightly.

I do know what she is like, well I did. Because I was not myself at the end of the break up, she changed and so did her views.

She isn't leading me on because she told me that we have to stop seeing each other because she didn't want me to get hurt anymore. That is why she also supported my decision for no contact.

Well, what do you think that means?

She wants to exit as slowly as she can because she doesn't have the skillset to be in relationship, let alone just dump someone.

She's screwing w/your heart. Cruel stuff actually.

Here's the thing.

She wants to be single. (not attached. Keep her options open)

My ex told me the same thing.

"I love you, but want to be single" Yeah right.

What I quickly realized was:
1.) She didn't want me
2.) Had a new prospect(s)
3.) Would never go back

Glad you will be applying what you are learning with this.

You keep saying "This is what she told me or is telling me" But the reality is she wants to be single.

If you want to wait around, that's up to you.

But go NC baby, forever. Save yourself the time.

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Originally Posted by vanheart

Well, what do you think that means?

She wants to exit as slowly as she can because she doesnt have the skillset to be in relationship, let alone just dump someone.

Shes screwing w/your heart. Cruel stuff actually.

Heres the thing.

She wants to be single. (not attached. keep her options open)

My ex told me the same thing.

"I love you, but want to be single" Yeah right.

What I quickly realized was:
1.) She didnt want me
2.) Had a new prospect(s)
3.) Would never go back

Glad you will be applying what you are learning with this.

You keep saying "This is what she told me or is telling me" But the reality is she wants to be single.

If you wanna wait around, thats up to you.

But go NC baby, forever. Save yourself the time.

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The thing is she did want me about a month ago. But because I felt like I was being pushed away I neglected her, and I really regret that now. She was upset almost every night and I think right now she is just really sick of that and that is why she doesn't want to be in a relationship, and she told me that. She doesn't want to be single just for 'flings", she also told me that.

I'm not waiting around, I have already made the NC move. Only I have two problems, I still have some hope and I will be seeing her almost everyday at college next year plus some weekdays through out the holidays at work. How to deal with that? What should I do if she messages or calls me on Christmas? Do I talk to her? We had a wonderful Christmas last year and while speaking to her over the last week she was always bringing up the good times with me and saying she wishes it went back to that.

I think it isn't fair to say that she won't come back, because you just never ever know with these things.

NC is NC. You either do it or don't. Ignore it.

When you run into her, keep it short. Or better yet, not all. Ignore her. Show her that you don't care either.

One thing that I realized is that when someone decides they don't want me, they do not deserve my time.

Whether its fair to say or not, its not fair what she's doing to you. Now is it?

Or better yet, what you are doing to yourself. Letting her manipulate you with bs words.

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Originally Posted by vanheart

NC is NC. You either do it or dont. Ignore it.

When you run into her, keep it short. Or better yet, not all. Ignore her. Show her that you dont care either.

One thing that I realized is that when someone decides they dont want me, they do not deserve my time.

Whether its fair to say or not, its not fair what shes doing to you. Now is it?

Or better yet, what you are doing to yourself. Letting her manipulate you with bs words.

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I ran into her last night at work. All I said was Hi and then at the end of the night she said bye. She actually tried to start a conversation with me but I just turned around and walked off. She looked rather angry later on.

I understand exactly what you are saying and I do want to do no contact but I guess I don't want to completely destroy my chances. I won't contact her, I won't make conversation to me but lets say in the future she contacts me and she has realised that she made a big mistake (just throwing a scenario out) I don't want to shut her out so much that that becomes impossible. If she doesn't contact me, NC continues.

Well, you did the right thing.

Screw her if she was angry, she wants you to hang around. Be there when she wants you, but doesn't want you full time. You showed her you weren't interested in her bs. Oh, well...

Let NC & time determine that. After all, like you said, a scenario, in your head. Fantasy, actually.

Here's something from Byron Katie that really resonated with me during my breakup

Her 4 questions: (when it comes to those scenarios in our head)

1.) Is it true?
2.) Can you absolutely know that it's true?
3.) How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought?
4.) Who would you be without the thought?

Apply this every time you have indecision based on your suppositions.

Don't allow yourself to be in limbo. If you do, you could be missing out on the chances of meeting someone else. Lets say she did come back. What would be the chances those problems you had, the first time around, wouldn't crop up again? Well, they most likely would, then you would have quite a lot of time invested. Not to mention, the emotional strain waiting around for her would cause.

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Originally Posted by vanheart

Well, you did the right thing.

Screw her if she was angry, she wants you to hang around. Be there when she wants you, but doesnt want you full time. You showed her you werent interested in her bs. Oh, well....

Let NC & time determine that. After all, like you said, a scenario, in your head. Fantasy, actually.

Heres something from Byron Katie that really resonated with me during my breakup

Her 4 questions: (when it comes to those scenarios in our head)

1.) Is it true?
2.) Can you absolutely know that it's true?
3.) How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought?
4.) Who would you be without the thought?

Apply this everytime you have indecision based on your suppositions.

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That is true, only a fantasy. But that is not to say that it won't happen and that is why I am not solely hoping that she will come back, I am accepting both end scenarios. She either comes back or she doesn't and either way I will win. I honestly think that she did want to get back together with me that night, after all those things she said to me on the phone. But I played it wrong, I got way too exctited and I guess I tried to push things and fast forward them. Instead of building the bond, I kept pushing and this threw her off.

I do think a scenario similar to the above is possible because if I can call her and yell at her and have fights with her one week before she tells me she loves me, she thinks we will get back together and all we needed was a break (which we didn't have really. Yeah we had a break from each other but not from all the crap) imagine what no contact could do. She told me she was always wondering what I was doing and whenever she spent time with another guy she pretended to be fully conscious in the moment when really she could only think of me.

I have a party that she will be attending in a about a weeks time. I am going to ignore her and just have a good time. Right now she thinks I am "depressed" (which I am not, I may be upset) about her decision so if I show her I don't need her and I can have a good time without her it might play on her mind. I will also be going for other girls also, surprisingly I have not lost my confidence with this one, simply because I know I can do much better (not trying to sound cocky).

Vanheart, I appreciate all your help but I think advice on these forums really does vary erratically as people have different outcomes. If a person whom got their ex back using no contact was giving me advice he would be a little more positive than you. You did not get your ex back so you are telling me what you think from your own experiences. I will definitely be taking everything you said into account. I guess you can say sometimes advice can be a little biased on a forum due to self experiences. I think the best thing to do is just be neutral... Don't hope she will come back, and don't think that she never will either.

Thanks for all the help.

Time will tell, buddy. Not trying to be negative at all. I hope it all works out for you.

I want the best for everyone.

I hope that you will post here after 6 months & give some advice, let ones like me know what you have learned.

As someone whose ex actually came back, I'm backing vanheart completely. Though it is true that she may come back, but I think you need to let go because the relationship won't be the same as before. The problems won't be solved and there will still be problems.

You are going to have a world of pain if you give yourself hope like that. What happens when she'll have a fast boyfriend? Will you be so composed as you are now? I doubt it.

I think I got all the experience I could ever get (cheating, dumping me, drunk calling (her calling me), NC, breaking NC, going back together, sex with ex, emotional rollercoaster, me clinging, me not clinging, me begging, me not begging, long term relationship, jealousy (both sides)... ) I learned a lot and combined with other's people knowledge I think we're pretty much on the right track.

My suggestion to you: start NC without any hopes of getting back together, there is plenty of fish in the sea.

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Originally Posted by paxe

As someone whose ex actually came back, I'm backing vanheart completely. Though it is true that she may come back, but I think you need to let go because the relationship won't be the same as before. The problems won't be solved and there will still be problems.

You are going to have a world of pain if you give yourself hope like that. What happens when she'll have a fast boyfriend? Will you be so composed as you are now? I doubt it.

I think I got all the experience I could ever get (cheating, dumping me, drunk calling (her calling me), NC, breaking NC, going back together, sex with ex, emotional rollercoaster, me clinging, me not clinging, me begging, me not begging, long term relationship, jealousy (both sides)...) I learned a lot and combined with other's people knowledge I think we're pretty much on the right track.

My suggestion to you: start NC without any hopes of getting back together, there is plenty of fish in the sea.

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Yeah I certainly don't want to make it harder for me. I guess making it harder for me would be still being her friend. I keep seeing her, it is really pissing me off. Today I saw her on the road, and she waved at me. She was probably going out. One thing I am not doing is waiting around for her, tonight I went out with a girl and had a great time, I completely forgot about my ex.

I know you are saying the problems are still there but I honestly have changed my ways I have reflected so much I no longer have anything to reflect on, I know what I need to do right to make the relationship work. I mean it used to work, so flawlessly as well. These are only stupid complications which can be worked out if both parties are willing. Right now I am willing, but I don't want to jump into a relationship either to be honest only because you are right it won't work out. That is why I went NC because I couldn't handle myself being friends with her.

All I am saying is I am not completely disregarding the possibility. And I am tired of that saying haha. What if I want that particular fish?. And not others. The problem in our relationship? We grew apart and that is when all the jealousy issues came. When we were close nothing bothered us. If both people are willing I know it can work still, even if it is a second chance. Before I was not willing and she was... now I am willing and she isn't. I won't be contacting her, if she contacts me then I think it would be because she still has interest in me I doubt it would be for "just friends" since I have explained to her very clearly that I can't be friends with her.

If she says that she thinks about me with low contact, I can bet my left testicle she will think of me with no contact. I was really good to her, like REALLY good. I got comments from her like "wow, I've never met a man like you before" and when we first started dating she was just really surprised that I was so sensitive and good to her.

I honestly feel as if she is worth the trouble. I don't know why, but I feel something, and I can't explain it. I just get the feeling we shared something really special. She told me she doesn't want to look back if we don't stay friends and say "what if we could have been together?".

I will just try and keep my hope tamed. At the moment, no chance she will contact me. Maybe in a couple months there will be a chance. In the mean while I will live my life, and when I see her show her I am happy and cheerful.

Thanks for all the advice guys.

Remember an Ex says they love you and will always love you, but remember that does not mean they are in love with you...

That time has passed... therefore you must let the time pass and if it is meant to be you will be able to reconnect with her, only time will tell once you both grow and figure out what you both want out of life...

Skimmed through this thread, and carrerra, I really admired you in your first few posts. You sounded strong and knew what the plan of action was to leave the least people hurt, which was NC. But as this thread progressed, I noticed, you started to weaken and defend her slowly more and more. What every person has said in this thread is completely true and is only trying to help soften the blow of a breakup. Of course, I'm sure there a people who get their exes back down the road, we have all heard the heartwarming success stories. But they are so few and far between, it cannot be counted on. You sound like a smart person, so I will not attempt to lecture you, but NC is a must right now, and the bottom line is SHE WANTS TO BE SINGLE... she could do the sweetest things in the world, make you feel like a million bucks every time you talk to her, say everything you want to hear, even throw around the L word to keep you reeled in. But her wanting to be "single" is the ultimate trump card. If she was still IN love with you, you would be back to dating right now, but the simple truth is that I don't think she is. For all of us, and more importantly for yourself, go NC if you already haven't, and Good Luck man...

Carrera277 you make me smile. Not a funny, ha ha kind of smile. Rather like the little kid you tell “Don't touch!” because it's hot or it could hurt them and they do it anyway then cry when they're burnt. I'll bet you have some pretty scared fingers over the years.

Some can`t see the forest for the trees. That's all right though, you're not alone.

The thing I don't understand is why ask for advice? I mean you have your own self-fulfilling argument. She's coming back to you and that's that. Now you just need to make her understand that too.

I like the others wish you the best. Seriously. And as another said I hope you come back in 6 months or so and share with others who are going through the Same thing you are.

Carrera277 - be very careful with this girl. You may wound up in a 'yo yo' relationship of "on again, off again" that can go on for years and in the end it will be a mistake. And you will look up and have wasted valuable time on someone who is not right for you. She may love you and you love her, but it's clear that you aren't truly "in love" not in the mature way. And being the 'person in waiting' is not wise. Simply because she won't take you seriously and will continue to manipulate your emotions to have what she wants. Relationships of real love have solid foundation of respect, not a foundation of 'convenience'. You have to decide what it is you want with this girl, and it sounds like you both want 'convenience' because that's what's safe and easy cause you already know each other. But the danger in that is a word called 'settling'. There's a million great women out there for you to give yourself a real chance with and the longer you waste time with this woman the more women who are right for you pass you by. Don't get stuck with this girl who is clearly not the one for you, at least not at this time. My elders used to say... baby what looks good ain't always good for you.

Thanks for all the advice guys, I really appreciate it.

Apparently she is "in-love with me"... she told me that while she was feeding me her crap.

I guess if she truly cared for me and the person I am, which she probably took for granted, she will find her way back, and we will reconnect.

If she doesn't come back to me, screw her hey?

Now that I think of it she probably isn't right for me. She was, but I don't think so anymore. She has changed so much since I first met her, and the more I think about it, the more I don't like the new her.

A major problem would also be we are still in the high teens so confusion is understandable. We are both the same age but I am extremely more mature for my age and that could explain why I get along and go out with girls a few years older than me and each and ever one of them tells me I am mature for my age, if no even more mature than themselves.

I know I am still in-love with her, and it's safe to say she was as well. You just sort of know when you are. She may not be now, but I had this feeling a couple months ago, I was unsure of my feelings for her. But the break up has made me realise that I would love to work things out and only care for her. I have realised how much I love her now but sometimes I guess things happen for a reason.

Right now... NC isn't going anywhere.

Extremely low contact is more than enough to keep old feelings stirred up. It will take time and strict NC will get you beyond those old feelings.

Sorry guy, but there are no quick fixes, or magic pills, to get over being dumped.

NC is working. You just have to give it time. You will be better in time. Hang in there! Think of the bad parts. You must!

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Originally Posted by talaniman

Extremely low contact is more than enough to keep old feelings stirred up. It will take time and strict NC will get you beyond those old feelings.

Sorry guy, but there are no quick fixes, or magic pills, to get over being dumped.

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I didn't get dumped. It was a mutual agreement. We both still love one another and did at the time of the break up, but there was so much stress in the relationship that we needed a big break. I didn't want her back at the end of the break up but a few things have made me miss her so much. One of the big factors was seeing her having so much fun without me. So I am going to do the same.

If she doesn't care about me why is she still so worried what I am doing with other women? I told her I was going to see a movie with a girl because she asked me and she said if I could I would snoop on you and sit behind you to watch what you do. She also said it still hurts her to know that I am with other girls. Why is this effecting her? It shouldn't be if she is completely over me.

As its only been 6?weeks since you broke up neither of you is over the other one yet. Instead of wondering what she's thinking or doing and why, you should concentrate on you now,and moving forward with your life. Stick to 100% NC and don't worry about what she does.

Don't be fooled by her words or the fact she may still have feelings. We humans still get jealous and left behind when a partner is happy without us. It stings whether we want it to or not.

The same thing applies though and just as you are seeing others, and it bothers her, as it bothered you when she was having fun. That's just human nature. You both will move on, and let go of each other, or time will show you something you both missed in each other.

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I didn't get dumped. It was a mutual agreement.

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One or the other no doubt pushed for it and the other agreed.

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we both decided it would be better to be friends even though she sort of broke it off with me.

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That makes you the dumped one, even though you agreed to it.

Not really a big deal at this point, but the fact that neither of you had the real skills, or the willingness to resolve your issues any longer, is exactly what breaks up most couples, and causes a lot of fights, and arguments.

It's a learning experience, and either you learn for the next person, or not. No, its not all you, as partners share the blame when a relationship fails.

After a break up, there is really nothing to prove to the ex. But there is a lot of work to do on yourself.

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Originally Posted by talaniman

Don't be fooled by her words or the fact she may still have feelings. We humans still get jealous and left behind when a partner is happy without us. It stings whether or not we want it to or not.

The same thing applies though and just as you are seeing others, and it bothers her, as it bothered you when she was having fun. Thats just human nature. You both will move on, and let go of each other, or time will show you something you both missed in each other.

One or the other no doubt pushed for it and the other agreed.

That makes you the dumped one, even though you agreed to it.

Not really a big deal at this point, but the fact that neither of you had the real skills, or the willingness to resolve your issues any longer, is exactly what breaks up most couples, and causes a lot of fights, and arguments.

Its a learning experience, and either you learn for the next person, or not. No, its not all you, as partners share the blame when a relationship fails.

After a break up, there is really nothing to prove to the ex. But there is a lot of work to do on yourself.

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Everything you said here is true. Oh and before when I said NC isn't going anywhere... I meant I won't be abandoning it :)

I am not worry about her and that may be so even if I am forcing myself not to. She just seems to pop up in the places I am at it is really annoying me now. I just think I saw her car parked with like heaps of other guys, so she is probably seeing someone but that actually doesn't bother me.

Ever since we ended I have met so many more girls and that's basically all I have been doing the last week is just seeing a handful of girls and I have found out tonight there is one I am attracted to. I wouldn't have found all of this joy and fun if I was still with her.

Upcoming to day five of NC and I don't feel that terrible... I really hope it doesn't get worse from here. I have no urge to contact her, I only have some thoughts in my head through out the day but I am surprised at myself that I am such a happy person at the moment. Like around all the girls I've been with I have just been extremely cheerful I don't understand why. Also my ability to be an optimistic person has not been affected I am honestly confused. The only thing I am scared of is if it gets harder from here on.

Thanks guys :)

Take care of yourself you're doing the right thing. Flirting is an excellent remedy to break up (not relationship, but dating and flirting).

Yes, you are doing the right thing. Keep it up.
It will get easier as time goes by.

If you keep up that optimistic & cheerful attitude through this, it will be all good.

Its all a matter of how we deal with our thoughts.

You are the one in control.