I'm having a hard time getting over a former relationship. I have to see this person all the time and every time I do it stings, I feel like someone is ripping out my heart and then proceeding to step on it over and over again. Lets just call him... John. John and I have dated numerous and he has always been the one to end it and then come back, all together we've dated for abbot a year. He was also my best friend for a long time and was always the one pursuing me. I loved, and still love him with all my heart. I just can't seem to get over him. Every time I'm with another guy I think of him, I've always been so dependent on him, I've lost myself because I made him my everything. I lost my virginity to him which meant a lot to me, he was my first for everything and he promised I meant so much to him, and that when we had sex he would have the same attachment to me as I would have. After all was said and done, he left me 2 weeks after. He now is telling everyone about all of our "private" things we shared and is sleeping with numerous girls. It kills me, I put so much faith and just simply everything into him. I hate myself because of him. It's draining me and I can't take it anymore. Please help... I'm just so... heartbroken.

I'm sorry you trusted your heart with a guy who sounds like a real jerk. Why is it that you have to see him ? Do you go to the same school?
Try to realise that he's the loser,not you,and see him for what he is,an immature emotional incompetent.

Were both seniors in high school. First love type of thing. And thank you. I just hope it gets better.

If you can't avoid him full time,just act as if he doesn't exist-and yes- it does get better. Keep busy with friends and school and look forward to meeting somebody much nicer in the future.
Good luck.

Quote:

---

I've lost myself because I made him my everything.

---

The thing about putting someone on a pedestal higher than your own, is the reality that they didn't really deserve it. So as you put your life back together and see other friends and activities that you enjoy, it will be easier over time to deal with your feelings of loss.

My ex has a new girlfriend. I'm basically dead on the inside. I see them together all the time because were still in school. I saw them kissing today and I just wanted to die. I know it sounds dramatic but it's how I feel. I keep on wondering when this feeling is going to go away, I've been trying so hard to make it vanish but it lingers. I think my problem is that I finally know that we are over, it's officially hit me that were done forever. I think I was in denial, hoping and wishing they'd come back. I just keep on dwelling on wondering about all the "what if's". I just feel terrible and not good enough for anyone or anything. She's so much prettier then me and basically the opposite of everything I am. Help. I'm not sure if I'll ever feel okay again.

Hello Nikki,

You are going through what most people go through after a breakup, ESPECIALLY if your ex starts dating again, and you witness it.. If I were you, I would try to avoid the common areas that they hang out in at school, example, take a different rout during your passing period. That may help out some.

This too shall pass. There is nothing wrong with having those feelings. You are young and will find another. For now, keep yourself busy with hobbies, friends, family, and after school activities. That too will help. Forget about the fact that she is what you aren't. That's the beauty of dating different people. You will be fine.

I wish you luck.

Please keep all questions regarding the same issue in the same thread.

Break ups are difficult, and it's especially difficult if you're constantly seeing each other for whatever reason.

If you see him, you need to keep walking. Stay focused on your own life. Hang out with friends.

I know what you mean and I know how you feel. I've been through a similar experience with my ex-girlfriend. They make you feel so complete one minute and then so hopeless the next. You ask yourself over and over what you did so wrong and what is so wrong with you for them not to care like they say they did and you believed they would. It's such a heartbreaking ordeal to go through. They are always on your mind and affects how feel almost every minute of the day.
What I've learned is that you cannot let them consume you. Because that's exactly what will happen if you don't let go. Someone who is always in and out, loves you one minute and the next treats you badly is not someone worth being with you. People like that are users and tend to be emotionally abusive. They only feel good about themselves when they know they have you hooked and can get you back at any given moment because they don't see you as someone they love and care about. To them you are just an option. I believe another member, I think it's Talaniman, has a quote that says something about that.
Let this person go before they break you down, because that is what will happen unless you put an end to it. You will meet someone much better who will actually care for you. Do that before it gets any worse on you. It's much harder to regain yourself the longer you wait. You deserve much better. Don't forget that.

Nikki,

Don't measure yourself by him or anyone else.

Its actually good that you saw them & come to a realization that its over.
As much as it hurts.

One thing I have learned is why spend my time over someone that doesn't want my time.

Hang with friends & family that truly care about you. You know the ones. The ones that don't judge, the ones that love you for who you are & will be.

Nikki,

The sooner you realize that this guy is a jerk, the sooner you will start to feel better. Don't feel bad that he has found a new girlfriend, feel bad for the girl that is most likely going to get hurt the same way that you did, and feel good that you no longer have to put up with this guy. High School is such an irrelevant part of your life you'll be laughing about this when you go to college and realize there is so much more to life, and so many more people out there.

Like the others have mentioned, just do your best to not see this person at all, and focus on the one person that truly deserves your love... yourself. Best of luck to you, stay strong! :)

sabrewolfe thank you, thank you, thank you. You really made me feel so much better, well all the posts did but it's nice to know that someone has been there before and you're not so alone in your feelings. I just wish this wasn't high school and I didn't have to hear continuous gossip about them all the time, latest is their both just in it for the sex. Classy. But thank you again.

Try to ignore all gossip-and tell your friends you're not interested in any such news.
Good luck-stay strong.

His girlfriend just tried to add me on Facebook and I ignored her. Was that the right thing to do?

Okay, I know it sounds silly, but I have been working very hard to get over my ex, no communication and such and we do not acknowledge one another in person but he is now trying to add me on Facebook. I do not want to add him because I do not want to stalk him and see who he talks to, what's new and ext. BUT I don't want to offend him if he notices that I did not accpet his request. I know I am over thinking this, but what do I do? Advice?

Ignore.

I don't really know your situation/cause for break up and what not. Do you care if it offends him when you avoid each other in person? So why should you care if you offend him on stupid old Facebook? I probably wouldn't bother to add him until I was over him completely.

Forget about offending him or not. Block him. No more ad requests from him then.

You know what you need but your thinking of him. This isn't a healthy way to go about life. If you should treat others like you want to be treated you need to treat yourself well or your going to go around ignoring everyone else's need and feeling. Start by being responsible for your own actions/feeling and when you've got that down worry about others. And if he ever asks just tell him you needed time to get over him and not only will he understand but he will probably be somewhat flattered... not that you should be worrying too much about that.

Well. I was silly and added him, now I realize I should delete him, but don't want to automatically go and do that and risk looking like a fool who can't get over him.

You will not look like a fool by deleting him. You are being foolish right now. No one cares who your friends on Facebook are, unless you are in Junior High... how old are you?

Um, don't you look more like you can't get over him if you don't delete and BLOCK him?

Seems like your kind of obsessing over something that should be somewhat minor... you seem like you already know what you "should" do but your more worried about how he would feel. Just delete him... if he asks just go back to "hey I realized I needed some space to get over you. It's mature and classy and projects strength as long as you don't whine with a take me back look when you say it.

Just wondering have you checked more than once since you added him who he's talking to and what's new etc... maybe this isn't at all about him, but about you learning to let go and move on.

I am beginning to think I have some terrible emotional problems involving my ex. Every time I begin to get better, feeling fine, knowing I can live without him he creeps back in. He did this to me over the summer and gave me false hope that we would get back together. How much he missed me, cared about me and how he had never met anyone like me. I really thought we had something going until we would hangout and just end up fooling around, I found out he was doing this with another girl as well and I basically told him off. I thought I was starting the healing process over but instead a few weeks later we were in the same spot. We never talk. The last time I talked to him it was very casual he had asked if I hated him and I said I didn't because it took too much energy. I was very nice and tried to be friendly. We then stopped talking again, which I am used too and know it is better it just gets hard. He texted me about a week ago and I never said anything to him, problem is he has a girlfriend and he seems very happy. I want him to be happy but he's been dating her for almost a month. Which is past his usual 2 weeks and seems to care about her a lot. She's younger, and just seems better then me. I'm not sure what to do because I still want him and care about him... a lot. I need to get over it, I understand but I never know how to. He was my first love. I think I just got so used to having him come back and now I don't think he will. What should I do?

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by nikkianne1423

I am beginning to think I have some terrible emotional problems involving my ex. Every time I begin to get better, feeling fine, knowing I can live without him he creeps back in. He did this to me over the summer and gave me false hope that we would get back together. How much he missed me, cared about me and how he had never met anyone like me. I really thought we had something going until we would hangout and just end up fooling around, I found out he was doing this with another girl as well and I basically told him off. I thought I was starting the healing process over but instead a few weeks later we were in the same spot. We never talk. The last time I talked to him it was very casual he had asked if I hated him and I said I didn't because it took too much energy. I was very nice and tried to be friendly. We then stopped talking again, which I am used too and know it is better it just gets hard. He texted me about a week ago and I never said anything to him, problem is he has a girlfriend and he seems very happy. I want him to be happy but he's been dating her for almost a month. which is past his usual 2 weeks and seems to care about her a lot. Shes younger, and just seems better then me. I'm not sure what to do because I still want him and care about him.....a lot. I need to get over it, I understand but I never know how to. He was my first love. I think I just got so used to having him come back and now I don't think he will. What should I do?

---

Leave him alone is what you should do.

I wouldn't take any of his texts/phone calls, nothing.

I realize that he was your first love as he won't be the last... Trust me on that one.

Go NC. Let him fade out of your life and start to focus on yourself.

In time you will meet another and this will all just be a faded memory.

Good Luck.

Please keep all questions regarding the same issue in the same thread.

I think basically your problem is your still emotionally attached to him, (happens a lot when you break up, and still have to see them a lot) and have way too much thinking about his business, and what he does. Even after a break up, and a year has passed you still have had enough contact with him to keep the feelings stirred up, and the wounds fresh. Much better if you would not be so distracted, and have your own thing to do that doesn't involve him. Hey, healing can be a long slow process, but you have to keep going and leave the exes alone. That's what NC is all about. Work on what makes you happy, because he sure is.

I really do feel pathetic. I have been on and off with my ex for years and it hurts to see him in a longer relationship. I'm scared because I feel like I have finally been replaced. I know I am better off without him, we seem to just be different people now, leading different paths but I still yearn to be with him and be in his life. It also is not fun that I am still in school and am forced to see him and his friends, who all idolize him. I feel like he hates me and it hurts. I really do want to get over it but I feel pathetic that I really can't because I believe he will come back like he always does. Help.