Hi I just texted the girl who broke my heart, and I am going to meet her tomorrow, I know this is a super bad idea, the thing is she has me convinced that I hurt her too, just before christmas we had a big fight out in a bar and I told her to go away.
Next day christmas eve I drove out to where she lives but I don't know exactly where that is because she lives with her parents and never wanted to bring me there to meet them.
Anyway she didn't answer the phone so I was just driving around the mountains on christmas eve. There was a lot of recriminations back and forth over the fight through text messages, but then I decided to give up as she said she did not want to be with me anymore and that I was an when I drink. Two days later she starts phoning me at 6am drunk, I don't answer, then she calls the next day, more texts etc, eventually I contacted her and said lets work it out, come on out and see me I miss you' half an hour later she texts me would you want to know if I was with someone else, now I ama a jealous dude at the best of times.
I said well were you, and she says its to complicated to explain in a text. I told her that's the deal breaker and that I never want to see her again.
About 4 days pass and I start getting long emails tons of texts apologising and saying it was just a drunken kiss which I don't believe, anyhow she gave up contacting me but just today I weakened because I got nothing to do but think about this and her, now I'm meeting her tomorrow but I got a bad feeling I'm going to be in for all this again. Any advice I'm going nuts here

How long we you two together for?

4 months, there was a lot of drama, both guilty to a certain degree, just wanted to get a strangers point of view

This is a screwy messed up relationship, who are better off apart as you bring out the very worst in each other. Hate to be harsh, but this doesn't sound like any fun at all, and better to just leave each other alone.

Well how did your meeting go?

Met her since and have broken up again since, we had sex and she went away exclaiming that she loved me and that she missed me so much and how we were going to work things out, next day she starts calling me an for a reason which is a bit explicit to post, lets just say it had something to do with contraception or lack of, anyway lots more texting of anger and now we are meeting again tonight to talk and try and figure it out.
My instinct tells me I am on to a loser and that ill only get a week at best out of this, but I can't help myself. I did a lot of mean stuff too, so I still think maybe there is hope I don't know, but I'm going for it anyhow

Sex always complicates things, and then only 4 months and this many problems? You should be in the honeymoon phase of the relationship. You will be happy this is over once you heal.

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Originally Posted by Romefalls19

Sex always complicates things, and then only 4 months and this many problems? You should be in the honeymoon phase of the relationship. You will be happy this is over once you heal.

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When he actually lets himself get to that point... Seems to me he enjoys getting kicked in the balls. Don't say nobody warmed you when all this goes to hell.

Just met her tonight with the mutual intention of chatting and sorting things out, turns out she
Her ex boyfriend of 5 or 6 years is just recently single, and I got it out of her that she was with him, over christmas which is when I got dumped, so now he is back on the scene god knows what I would be in for, I walked away and said I needed time to think, she even squeezed out a few tears, but I know that she is playing me like a chump. She is 23 I am 30. I should know better, but I guess I am a sucker for punishment. I am not going back, I'm changing my phone number tomorrow, I'm going cold turkey. I held out for two weeks but I folded, this time I'm shooting for 100 days, then I should have come to my senses and gotten over this rubbish. Thanks for the replies, I don't mind the harsh ones I was blind.

The only hard part is my brain keeps sliding back to thinking that maybe she's not wholly to blame, maybe she really loves me. When the cold facts are she broke up with me 5 times in four months, but was very convincing in making me believe I was to blame each time, I know after 4 months I should grow up and move on, but being had still feels pretty raw. This site is a great help...

Nc

Honestly... it's for the best.

The wondering will subside when you start building up your life and living it. When you are busy and involved in your own life, you don't have any time to worry about all the other stuff.

And seriously, on and off for five months? That doesn't even sound like a relationship. You are much better off without her.

Good for you! You did what was best for you so you won't be tempted to deal with or nor hear from again.

It's good that your stopping this cycle and not allowing her to toy with you again. You woke up and smell the coffee.

Now, your healing begans and it starts from you letting go and accepting that the relationship is over and you did both. Now you start your path in getting over her but I think your going do fine.

Just whatever you do, don't break down and call her continue to be strong.

Been there man. It was a HUGE step, and very hard to do, as it (at least to me) meant it was truly OVER for good. Just don't slip up and give her your new number... like I did.

Carry on... :cool:

Huge step in the right direction

Another one of our ranks, welcome, my friend!

It's going to be hard, it's going to be long, but in the end, you will be so thankful, so happy that you made this decision. We're all here for you!

There's a saying that it takes half the time you were in a relationship to get over a relationship, just think in less than two months she'll be a distant memory

Hi I am finding it difficult to let go and stop thinking about the girl I was seeing. We really messed with each others heads a lot and things got down right nasty in the end, but I was crazy about her all the time. She's seven years younger than me however she ran rings around me when it came to our relationship. I think honestly that she does not really have strong feelings for me. We broke up so many times that two weeks ago I changed my number, and I have not contacted her since, its just difficult because before I would wait and then get a message From her or a call from her and it would be like a life line to a drowning man. but now I am in the abyss so to speak and she has no way of contacting me.I guess my biggest problem is hanging on to false hope and living in denial about this situation.
I am really starting to regret changing my number and I am almost tempted to call her or message her but I KNOW that this would be so foolish as it would be putting my face in front of her boot AGAIN, its day 16 of NC, someone please give a poor old chump some advice:( thanks

Keep up the NC, you will feel a lot better. It just takes time, it's an emotional detox you are going through.

1.Changing your Phone number: $0

2.Letting go of someone that just isn't meant to be with you: $1 million (the going rate for a broken heart)

3. Moving on with your life by going NC: $0

4. Healing, and becoming a better you: PRICELESS

*Sponsored by your local heartbreak center...AMHD.*

Just wait till you reach 1.5 months of NC. You will feel completely different. You will feel a lot better and start to see your life for what it really is, fun. Just fill your time with things you like to do.

For example, I have not rejected a social invite from my friends this whole time. I've been on one spur of the moment road trip to Miami, 1 long weekend ski trip, a fishing trip, and many long crazy bar nights. All of these things have kept me distracted and have been fun.

Just have as much fun as you can. You may meet a new girl in the process. You never know!

I'd say she was just toying with you. Also trying to make you jealous? That was clearly out of spite in your case.. just forget the soppy cow - she's not worthy of your time and effort to work things out.

Come to think of it, she isn't worth the energy used to think about her - because as long as she's causing you heart-ache then she's just trouble.

Forget her and move on buddy, life is great.


-Xm8

Just wanted to check back in and say I am nearly a month into nc after a horrible messy five month relationship, first two, three weeks were rough and I wondered if I would ever think about anything else ever again. But now the fog is lifting and I only think about it occasionally, so to anyone who is toughing it out, hang in there its well worth it.
And thanks for all the peoiple who posted on my question they were all vwry helpful remarks. This site is a great source of free support:)

Good to hear you are doing well. Keep it up. Perhaps you could lend your insight to others who come on this website.

"Pay it forward"

Its great that you were able to get past those first critical few weeks! That is when the NC thing is the hardest.
Good for you and thanks for the heads up!

Good job, we're proud of you. Keep it up

Threads merged

Just got kicked in the stomach again!! By the girl who had me searching for a site like this about 7 weeks ago when I changed my number and went no contact, I was doing great was dating other girls, but slowly she started to creep back into my mind until one day I said oh well one little text can't hurt, then we started talking, and over the weekend we hooked up.
She told me everything I wanted to hear, and I was sucked in ( silly me) yesterday I asked her to meet for coffee, she said she was busy, I said that I thought she was being silly and childish because I know she is trying to make me jealous or that she was seeing someone else. I prob overacted but that's just me, she texted me back to take a hike and that I need help. Which now I feel like I do.:( I was so happy to have her back but it was very shoert lived, so I guess you folks on hear are right it almost never works out when you go back.
Oh this is supposed to be question, what is this girls motive?

Who cares what her motive is, get back on the NC train and in a hurry!

Who cares?

Not your problem.

Back to NC and on to nicer women who will appreciate you for you.

She sounds like a black hole, waiting to suck the life out of you...

The others are right, her motive is of little concern... how you handle this, however, matters greatly.

Feel deeply for you bud.. seems like a used & abused situation. Just get yourself to no contact again, there's nothing more than you can do than that!

Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me.

Her motives are not important, getting back to NC is.

Threads merged

Just wasted five months of no contact for absolutely nothing, I was doing so well then I hit a wall and could not stop thinking about this person. I started to convince myself that she was missing me as much as I was missing her. So out of the blue I contacted her, then we met up a few times, and then she told me she didn't want to hang out anymore as it would lead down the same road and said we both know how that ends. I flipped and sent a very angry text to which I got no reply and now I feel terrible. All that time for nothing:mad:

It ended with me in total despair and heartbreak after only one week and we never even kissed.
My pride is dashed and I am very hurt. I suppose that this was inevitable and I convinced myself that her feelings for me were much stronger than they actually were.
I reacted in anger to her telling me she did not want to hang out anymore,
I must accept that it I did put myself in line to be hurt again and that that was a risk that I chose to ignore and now I must pay the price.

Its not the end of the world, it will hurt for as long as I decide to let it.


I refused to accept the one thing that would have saved me all this grief

She Does not like me! And that's okay too.

I am full of regret over reacting in anger but I feel she did over step the mark with her insults and I retaliated.
I guess I'm looking for a way where I don't have to feel totally humiliated and hurt
And I can't really seem to find it.
Its back to NC one day at a time, there is no other way

Sorry to hear that. After almost one year I broke contact myself and ran into the same issue. Except her wanabee hardcore boyfriend started threatening to fight me and kill me, etc. Which I told him to come on over. Had to be a man with pride you know. ;)


We have been broken up since July of 2008 and I am just finally coming to terms.

That's harsh, well let that be a lesson to you both. Pick yourselves up, and keep it moving.

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its back to NC one day at a time, there is no other way

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That's the way to go, for sure. It gets better.