I'm 18, I deeply love a girl who is 26.

She already has her boyfriend whom she's been dating for 4 years, who she deeply loves but she's been going on bad terms with him still they will be getting engaged in October.

The love she had for him decreased since.. She still loves him.

I've already told her my feelings. I think she loves me too but our age difference, perhaps that's why she doesn't want to tell me.

I'm willing to spend the rest of my life with her.

The way she's been bahaving with me, caring for me, feeling jealous of other girls who talk to me, it seems so. I really love her a lot. I don't know what to do.

She told me before that she wished that "Why I weren't older or she younger"

Please people help me!!

She's off limits. She is a woman taken. Her wedding is in October. If the wedding doesn't take place for whatever reason, you may be in the picture.

But, in all honesty, it sounds like she is talking to you on an older sisterly level.

No actually.. its her engagement!

Please help me out!!

You already know the answer... she said it to you! Obviously the age difference is something she wouldn't be able to handle, even if she was single.

Regardless, she is taken, engaged, and to be married in a few months. So back off, let her be with her fiancé and get married... there really isn't anything you can do. You already spoke of your feelings and she shot you down.

Sorry I wish I had better advice, but I highly doubt you'll get any that tell you to continue pursuing her.

I understand it's HER engagement. But she is off limits to you. She is engaged

She's about to be engaged so she's off limits, plain and simple. Your arguments about her "going on bad terms with him" and "the love she had for him decreased" carry no weight in rationalizing any other decision. Now if she breaks things off with him clean and final then she's fair (if not wise) game, but not before.

I think you should look for new love someone your own age. On the other hand age is just a number, but by what your saying she clearly not interested in you. Being a relationship with a older woman has it's good and bad point. Good point is the maturity level, bad point is fighting over petty bull all the time. My girlfriend is about nine years my senior, and my dad was at least 20 yrs. Older than my mom. They had a stranger relationships toward the end of his life but there was no doubt they love each other. I don't want to make up your mind for you, but just wanted to give you a bit of both sides. Hope this help, at the end of the day it's your decision.

Even if you were older or she was younger, she's dating someone, she's marrying him.

She has no business leading you on, she wants to have her cake and eat it too. I would expect more from someone her age, she's acting very immature.

Forget about her, not only because you can't have her but because you can do better.

I don't think that this will go anywhere and I suspect that you're grasping at straws in an effort to create what you desire.

She's marrying someone else - whether she loves him or not is no-one's business but theirs. However, she has no right to be leading you on if she's with someone else.

I think that she's playing with you because you're an affectionate puppy looking for the crumbs she offers you as affection. It's flattering for her to have you playing around her feet.

Difficult though this may sound, I would stop having contact with her. She's with someone else. She's unhappy. You're unhappy.

You need to experience more of life before you can make an intelligent decision about who you want to spend the rest of your life with. Let her sort out her own problems and get on with living a real life, not a pretend one in her shadow.

Terry, please stop starting new threads. This leads to confusion. Please keep all of your responses here. All other threads have been removed and the responses have been merged.

She obviously has a hang up about the age thing so even if she broke it off with this guy it seems she still wouldn't go getting involved with you.
Unless she has some thunder and lightening striking her as a sign to get with you I doubt it will ever happen.

I agree with everybody here, she's taken, not available, and about to be engaged to her long time boyfriend.

I think if you were more mature, you would realize that she is playing you because she probably likes the attention of being adored. It is a cruel way to treat someone that way that you know is head over heals for you, and you also know a relationship will never happen.

I would say that even if your ages were identical, she does not indicate that she is a woman of good character to be keeping a man on the side, and stringing him along.

Women like this don't deserve a good man, and maybe this is a blessing in disguise for you.

Thanks a lot..

We work together, I'm not feeling to be a player, but I don't lack girls.

She knows it as well but I don'tknow why I chose her.

The way she's be behaving with me.

Feeling jealous when others talk to me,giving me all the mighty importance that she needed to give boyfriend.

If you had witnessed all these, the conclusion would be SHE LOVES ME !

She doesn't want to tell me because of the age.

She did told me once, "you're still young, you're cute, handsome, you'll get loads of girls".

"what would happen tome if afterwards you have someone else in your life"

I was supposed to date 2 girls this week, she came to know it.

She told me "Why you waiting for the very day, go right now".

I've already told her, on her engagement day, I'll suffer the most.

Told her to keep her distance from me, 'cause I don't want to get more closer to her. But she insists on!!

All the advice that you've given are help, I do really appreciate but my heart doesn't understand each time she comes before me!

I just want to know, she loves me or no, that's all !

But how should I get the answer??

Often people 'go after' what they can't have because it feels appealing and challenging.
She wants your attention but not your affection.
No she doesn't love you she loves the attention and how it feels that you are young and it makes her ego feel better to have the attention from you.
If she loved you she would be having second thoughts about going through with marrying her boyfriend.
You don't have to understand the reasoning of why some people do the things they do. The main importance is what is going to come from what they do... NO good is going to come from her behavior towards you. So it is best to keep telling her that you do not appreciate flirting with someone you know you can't have or else learn to ignore her.

The answer is you're an ego booster for her.

She does not love you.

In fact, she may be unaware that you love her. To her it is probably playful bantering.

I do think that at some point she crossed the line from innocent behaviour, to behaviour that she knows gets a rise out of you, but her responses and communication with you, is not love.

It's a nasty game. She likes it for some reason, and sounds to me a few taco's short a combination plate to keep the game going. I know if I were in the presence of both of you, I'd be wondering why her head is not on straight.

Although she is the older person here, and supposedly wiser, you will have to be the bigger person, and realize nothing is going to happen between the two of you.

Don't respond when she's flirting, just keep busy, and don't engage in any way with her. I think if she finds herself not getting a rise out of you, she'll stop.

Harshness warning

It doesn't really matter how she feels anymore. Whether she loves you or not, she's planning to marry another person. She's off limits.

It sounds like she cares about you a lot, much like an older sister, but she doesn't love you in the romantic way. If you feel that she's treating you more than that, then she's being unfair to her fiancé, which doesn't make her a very special person.

It's better to keep as much distance from her as possible so that you can get over her. If you keep talking to her, you will over-analyze all her actions and signs. It's very unhealthy. Nor matter how much you analyze, the bottom line is she's marrying someone else. So she's OFF LIMITS.

Sending me texts messages EVERYDAY, she would call me and we would TALK for hours.

We work together, I take all my breaks with her, or I should say she does!

She likes me a lot, keeping on praising me at home and with others, even with her boyfriend.

Once she told me, “You said and did things that my boyfriend didn't do during these past years"

"Wish I were younger or you older"

"Some day I'll tell you something, but only if I'm drunked 'cause you get kind of guts when you booze"

2 weeks ago was her birthday, she boozed a lot 'cause of the problems she been having with her boyfriend, I called her on my friend's cell, I heard her saying,

"Terry doesn't love me, he already has his girlfriend working there, and that’s why he is willing to quit this job".

"My boyfriend doesn't love me"

This made me feel confident about her answer!

I told her that I love her but don't know I didn't ask her for any kind of answer.

Days after while talking she told me,

"Even if I hadn't anyone in my life, I wouldn't be dating you, 'cause of our age difference"

But still she takes all her breaks with me!

She told me that I'm still young, handsome and I will surely find someone.

But when other girls talk to me, she tells me, "Don’t talk to her!! "

Several girls had a crush on me, asking me to go on a date with them but when I told her, she told me

"Why you waiting for the very day? Go right now!! ”

SO WHY ARE YOU JEALOUS WHEN I TALK TO OTHERS?? WHY YOU TELL ME NOT TO DATE ANYONE??
WHY IS SHE LEADING ON ME IF SHE'S WITH SOMEONE ELSE??

She's texting me right now, I'm feeling like uneasy, amn't replying her!!

She got support when she needed, taking me for a joke!

Every time I tell her that I love her she says "Yes”!

Yes what??

What she's taking me for?? >!!

You don't want to tell me that you love me or not??

So why you're playing with me! >>??

Please help me, something strong!!

She's already said her piece she won't date for the age difference,everything else is just warped..
Maybe she likes your attention
Maybe she wants to make the boyfriend jealous<beware>
Regardless she said she would never date so be friends or tell her your not comfortable with the situation because you have stronger feelings.
Can you answer two questions for me?
Why do you want this older woman?
Why do you want someone that has to use a substance i.e.alcohol to say something she may be feeling?
Lots of red flags here my friend not to mention you WORK together.

Wow, that was a nightmare to read.

Anyway, how old are you two?
If she isn't going to date you because of the age difference you can't do anything about that. She's right to say you'll find someone else.

Get away from her. I doubt you truly love her, or even know what it means. Get yourself a girlfriend. Go out with a girl, and don't tell her about it. Get away from her because you can't have her and you're only hurting yourself emotionally by trying to have her anyway.

You DO NOT need to post multiple threads. If you have more information to share, add it in a reply, it is unnecessary to do it like this, and just clutters up the forum.

Anyway:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by HelpinHere

Wow, that was a nightmare to read.

Anyway, how old are you two?
If she isn't going to date you because of the age difference you can't do anything about that. She's right to say you'll find someone else.

Get away from her. I doubt you truly love her, or even know what it means. Get yourself a girlfriend. Go out with a girl, and don't tell her about it. Get away from her because you can't have her and you're only hurting yourself emotionally by trying to have her anyway.

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I stand by what I said in your other thread. You are still growing, still maturing. Whether you like it or not, she already has her life planned, and it doesn't include you.

I really beautiful, PLAIN AND SIMPLE !
Understands me, understands life..

She told me she doesn't have guts to tell me this that's why she needed to get drunk.

Is there anything that you can advise me I should tell her??

Make her feel how much I love her, and what she's doing with me is wrong.

Tell her "I love you, but what you're doing with me is wrong. If you are still with your boyfriend, you can't keep using me. I'm sorry, but we're through."

You can't have her, so quit leading her on, and quit letting her lead you on.

I agree tell her that she is playing with your emotions and you need to get over her so you need 'a break'. When she says "Don't talk to her!!!" Tell her she already has her boyfriend so she has no place in telling you who you can't talk to

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Terry MJ Carter

Is there anything that you can advise me I should tell her ??? Make her feel how much I love her, and what she's doing with me is wrong.

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First rule in life, Mr Carter.

You can't MAKE anyone do anything.

She's trying to MAKE you understand that she doesn't want you and you're not listening, you're trying to MAKE her understand that you want her and she's not listening. And so it goes.

If she doesn't want you there is nothing that you can do to make her want you. It's as simple as that really. Why do you keep beating your head against a brick wall?

She's using the energy you give her through your flattery and declarations of love - and keeping you by her side whilst sucking you dry. She's vampiric, but you can't see it. She just wants your energy - she doesn't want your love.

She has power over you (because you give it to her), she's using you and she's emotionally cheating with you. That's why she keeps you by her side. Imagine how much trouble she'd be if you were in a relationship with her!

She's the classic succubus. Change your job and kick her to the sidewalk.

I told her that I'll be quitting this job soon as my graphic designer course will soon begin..

She told me "You're quitting 'cause of me"

She did told me "I know how much you're suffering"

When I told her that I love, it was just like a saying that she just didn't care about.

She has been calling me since the morning, till now I have been ignoring her..

I've been avoiding her since I got into work.

She told me "What happened?”

"You're just trying to avoid me!"

'cause I did tell her once, I'll suffer the most on your engagement day..

I should try to keep my distance from you as from now itself.

I really love her a lot; I'm ready to avoid her..

But just want her to tell me, make her feel the pain that I'm feeling now!!

She told me that she won't ever stop sending me text messages or calling me even if I try to avoid her!!

BUT THAT'S WHAT SHE'S DOING RIGHT NOW AS I'VE BEEN AVOIDING HER AT WORK!

Once I told her that I'll always be here for her.. She told me the same..

BUT SHE THOUGHT I WAS JOKING THAT'S WHY SHE SAID SO!!

OH JESUS!! AM I DREAMING??

I'M JUST LIKE A PROTAGONIST, SHE LEADING ON ME!!
CONTROLLING ME!!

I haven't been talking to her since I got in!!

She knows it well, why I'm not talking to her!!

I JUST MAKE HER FEEL THAT REALLY I COULD HAVE BEEN THE POSSIBLE THING SHE HAD!!

Sometimes I feel like, I don't mean anything to her; she just doesn't care about me!!

What does she think she's doing to me?? Playing with me!?

OH!! Please don't!

I think I'm ruining myself!! DESTROYING MYSELF!!

The only thing she cares about is her boyfriend!!

SHE JUST DOESN'T CARE THAT I LOVE HER!!

IF I KNEW THIS WAS Going to HURT THIS BAD, I WOULD HAVE NAVER FALLEN IN LOVE WITH HER!

I ONLY NEED ONE, ONE STRONG SAYING THAT WILL MAKE HER FEEL ALL THE PAIN, MAKE HER FEEL DEVASTATED!!

Quote:

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Originally Posted by HelpinHere

You can't have her, so quit leading her on, and quit letting her lead you on.

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Don't try to hurt her, it will only backfire.
Just get away from her. It's the only thing you can do. Block her from your phone, it's that easy.

Please people!
I know that you're feb up but please give me something strong..

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Terry MJ Carter

Please people !!
I know that you're feb up but please give me something strong..

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Er, exactly WHAT do you want people to say to you?

You know what the situation is... she's using you and you're hooked right into it. She LOVES the fact that you're suffering and making a fuss about not talking to her. She never really wanted you - she just wanted your attention. It feeds her ego to know that you're full of confusion and thwarted desire over her.

For heaven's sake grow up and kick her to the curb!

You don't need to make her feel devastated. That's childish and immature. All you need to do is ignore her. A woman like her hates being ignored and it will drive her crazy.

Man up, take back your masculinity and treat her with the disinterest and disdain that she deserves. She used you.

Threads merged yet again for the last time.

She's been giving me all the mighty importance that a girl should be giving her boyfriend.
That's for sure, she feels something for me, and perhaps she doesn't realize it.
I put that in my mind that she won't ever be mine, but she keeping giving me hopes by the way she behaves with me.
She keeps calling me every time at work just to give me flying kisses.
And when I ask he where she giving the kiss, she says on my lips!!
What's that??
Somebody please help.
I never loved anyone before so why am I falling for her?
I can't figure out what to do, just can't take her out of my mind.
How can I convince her that I love her, to trust me, that I never leave her!
I don't know why her?? Why did I choose her?
I'm willing to take her.

Well buddy you seem awfully lost. You're still young and she is using you like a yo-yo. You need to go No Contact with her, tell her you don't want anything to do with her as you have feelings for her but understand you cannot be together. There's plenty of fish out there.

Until you man up, and let this girl go, and stick to No Contact with her, she will always throw your thinking into chaos, and confusion.

Can't you see your just her emotional tampon? An outlet to her own confusion, and unhappiness in her life. That's not love, that's dependence, like you're her drug to make her feel better. If you can't do better for yourself, then read the stickies at the beginning of this forum.

For the last time: Get away from her before you hurt yourself, kid!

Can't you see?
She is your nicotine. She is poison. You get some. It hurts you, but you gain a desire to want more. You take more, it hurts you more, but you want it even more. You can now either take as much as you can, or stop. If you keep trying, you will soon become too addicted. You can give it your all, and die of cancer, or you can stop cold turkey, and die of withdrawel.
Nobody likes smoking, let alone are the in love with it. They become addicted and cannot stop, and it kills them.

Now, you are at the bold. You can choose to stop, and survive. Or, you can continue, and no matter what you do after that, she will kill you emotionally.

It's your choice, don't be stupid.

FIND some one that loves you for YOU
You don't need to wait for the crumbles to drop from the table. That's all you will get from her.
I bet you have a lot going for you and could get any girl you want.
Get out and get doing things and meeting people.

Threads merged

Hello everybody...

Well, some of you people might still remember me..

I took your advices, I swear, but it
I still can't get that girl out of my head, the more I try to avoid her, the more closer I get to her.

My colleagues had palnned an outing last week. She insisted so that I come, she said that only my presence among them and with her is enough, even if I don't talk to her.

Had a nice day.. On our way home, she said she couldn't believe that I was beside me, she had such a nice time with me etc...

"I'm glad that in your life, your remaining days, one day was mine" she said...

She said that she has something to tell me, she'll tell me the right time...
I'm not sure what she has to tell me, but I think that she loves me too.
Maybe no!

She still loves her bfriend, even if she going on bad terms with him, she just broke up with him.
Why should he wait for 4 years to put an engagement date and then not willing to.

When she told him these facts, he had nothing to say, he was stammering while talking to her!!

She knows that I love her so why she keeps on hurting me??
She deliberately does something that hurts me. Like pissing me off etc!!

Why?? Why does she need to tell me to take her away when I'll quit this temporily job??

She likes my company as she feels comfortable with me, I have always been here for her, made her realise the basic facts..

"Each time I wanna cry I think of you, what you usually tell me" she often says.

What do I need to do to?

I don't want to lose her even if she doesn't love me, I want to live with her forever...

I don't even know what to do...

Should I behave, act the same way she does with me??
Or should I just let her on her own...

Please people, I feel like crying..

I really really love her, more than everything...
The only thing I need is her..
I ain't nothing without her. What I am going to do if she gets engaged..
I don't want to see her sad either, whether she with me or with her boyfriend, I just want to see her happy, smiling.

I need a strong verbiage, kind of to convince her, to express my feelings, to make he trust me, maybe love me..

Dude, you need to tell her how you feel, and to stop playing games with your heart. If she still loves her boyfriend, then you'll now for sure when they get married... and if she DOES get engaged and is still confusing/pissing you off, then you really need to cut the ties and move on cause this girl has some issues to sort out and your just getting caught in the line...

I entered her life like a support..
She's been going on bad terms with her boyfriend, I shouldered her since.
I never meant to fall in love with her, but it just happened.

Sometimes it hurts like hell when she says something for what I see is against my feelings.

How dude??

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Terry MJ Carter

I entered her life like a support..
She's been going on bad terms with her boyfriend, I shouldered her since.
I never meant to fall in love with her, but it just happened.

Sometimes it hurts like hell when she says something for what i see is against my feelings.

How dude???

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Can I ask you a question? What and why did you respond by calling the person offering you advice by that term?
Seriously I don't think that is appropriate. If you appreciate someone's advice than say Thanks Man... honestly.
And since your on here asking advice let me tell you mine. Your waiting in the wings to be her rebound. Nobody likes to leave someone and have no one. Don't be fooled and used. If she leaves her boyfriend, give it some time before you even think about having a relationship with her. She will need time before she can reasonably move on. Be careful and please chose your words wisely so as not to offend people when responding.

We can show you your choices, but the "right" path is the one you have to decide on yourself like you are the only one who knows how you feel about her.

I will say that it sounds like she is using you to bolster her self-esteem that is taking a beating from the other relationship. I, personally, do not see why anyone would want to make his/herself a "whipping boy" for a relationship he/she is not a part of.

Being a friend, caring about another person, trying to be supportive, etc. can be good things until the other person starts demanding more support and giving none back. That sounds like where you are now.

You can continue to be her crutch and slowly destroy yourself at the same time or you can be firm with her and tell her that she needs to fix her own mess not drag others into it.

IF she is still in a relationship (as in going out with) the other guy, then my other bit of advice is to leave her alone. She is in a relationship-she is off-limits. Until that relationship is completely ended and she has moved on from it, I would leave her alone.

Thanks man...
Seems that you've been through this before.
The way she talked to me yesterday, I'm 100&#37; sure that she loves me too.
But she admitted she's afraid to make the first step towards me because the last time she made it towards her boyfriend her life became hell though she loves him. She was like a puppet to him.
She doesn't want to live like this with someone who treats her like a puppet. At first there were stars shining in the velvet sky for her but afterwards thunder.

She says "I'm not mentally ready to accept new facts, at times I don't believe that YOU can love me that much but from the texts messages you sent me, it seems that how deeply you love me, what you might be thinking, feeling when you sent it to me"
"Unknowingly you gave me everything, when you don't come to work, I don't feel like working, when you're here, you presence is enough"
"if you wouldn't have been here I would have died" because she was completely broken the way her boyfriend treated her, after 4 years of relationship he still wasn't ready to marry her, even postponed their engagement, blamed her and her parents for that, something that anyone wouldn't definitely digest. I was here for her, cheering her up, I was the everything for her.
She's 7 years older than me.
I'm 19 and she's 26 but I really love her, I lack words to express my love for her.
I only need to make her feel confident, trust me.