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-   -   Why does my ex read my emails to him? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=395211)

  • Sep 10, 2009, 01:20 PM
    ssgirl
    Why does my ex read my emails to him?
    Why does my ex read and keep my emails to him?
  • Sep 10, 2009, 01:24 PM
    dreamingartist

    Because what you had was special to him at one point, and he is dealing and coping with the loss of your relationship. He is also looking back to a time when you made him happy and taking enjoyment in that. Maybe he also wants you to hear what you wrote and then think about those times and possibly change your feelings back to the way they were when you wrote it.
  • Sep 11, 2009, 12:54 AM
    Clough
    Hi, ssgirl!

    dreamingartist has given you an excellent response above! My questions for you are, how do you know that he reads and keeps your emails to him? Further, are any of these emails that you've sent to him since you and he broke up?

    Thanks!
  • Sep 11, 2009, 09:03 AM
    ssgirl

    Our emails are still linked.. he can see mine I can see his... he is the one that said he wanted to date others...
  • Sep 11, 2009, 09:12 AM
    talaniman

    Unlink your emails, and get beyond this confusion.
  • Sep 12, 2009, 02:26 PM
    Clough
    Hi, ssgirl!

    I agree with talaniman here! Time for you two to really get separated, if that's what you truly intend to do.

    Thanks!
  • Sep 12, 2009, 02:53 PM
    Romefalls19

    Stop with the linked e-mails, delete his old e-mails and move on
  • Sep 13, 2009, 05:11 AM
    ssgirl

    He said he fell out of love and wanted us to date other people and give us time to see how we really felt..
  • Sep 13, 2009, 05:15 AM
    redhed35

    And has he said he wants to get back together?

    Is he dating and enjoying his life?

    Give him what he wants,he wanted his freedom to think so let him think,he is not missing you,when you are still in his life via email.
  • Sep 13, 2009, 05:18 AM
    amicon

    How are you coping with the breakup?
  • Sep 13, 2009, 05:22 AM
    ssgirl

    At first not very good... he said go out and date... I did then he started calling me a slut and a few other choice things... acting like I had cheated on him... I guess he thought he could go out have fun and I would just wait for him to see I was who he wanted... The fact that men find me beautiful, smart and funny has helped.
  • Sep 13, 2009, 05:27 AM
    amicon

    So you re ok-thats good.as for your ex I say you ve had a lucky escape!
  • Sep 13, 2009, 05:29 AM
    ssgirl

    I wish that is how I felt about it...
  • Sep 13, 2009, 05:36 AM
    amicon
    How long ago did you split up?it always takes quite some time to get over the end of a relationship-have you read the stickies at the top of this page?there s a lot of good advice there.
  • Sep 13, 2009, 05:49 AM
    jmjoseph
    It sounds like you two aren't quite through.

    Why does he re-read, and why do you care?

    I think that's because you both are still in love with each other.
  • Sep 13, 2009, 05:58 AM
    ssgirl

    It does feel done... I am in love with him... he says he fell out of love with me... relationships become so more complicated than they need to be... in any case the waiting is killing me...
  • Sep 13, 2009, 06:05 AM
    jmjoseph
    Love gives us our highest highs and lowest lows.
  • Sep 13, 2009, 06:08 AM
    ssgirl
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by amicon View Post
    how long ago did you split up?it always takes quite some time to get over the end of a relationship-have you read the stickies at the top of this page?there s a lot of good advice there.

    We split up 6 weeks ago... we had a long distance relationship... I had quit my job moved to North Carolina in June of 07, then things were not going well so I left to visit friends in May of 08... a girlfriend was on line looking at North Carolina men and said isn't this your man... and it was in the 2 weeks I had been gone he had advertised on many dating sites... and lied about it until I provided him proof he was lying... I then stayed away... got my old job back we would see each other about every 6 weeks... talk most days... we then felt we worked though our issues... he ask me to quit my job and move back... I quit my job... and started to move back... he said he did not want to lock this thing down... wanted us to date others... and he was not sorry about me having no job... so he says... so here I am... few weeks before the break up he said he loved me and thought we could have a great life together...
  • Sep 13, 2009, 06:17 AM
    amicon
    I hope you re managing to find a job.could you move back again?
    You don't need this clown in your life-you should concentrate on becoming strong and whole again.eventually you will meet a decent man-they do exist-and find real happiness.
  • Sep 13, 2009, 06:29 AM
    ssgirl

    I am a smart woman... and I know their decent men out there... somewhere in the world... I thought he was one... it is a cause of the head and heart being in two different places... thank you this is really helping
  • Sep 13, 2009, 06:35 AM
    amicon
    You're welcome!and I agree with the heart and head statement-it ll take some time but eventually they will be in sync.its a journey getting there but somewhere along the line you ll meet yourself and start to care for you and your needs in life.
  • Sep 13, 2009, 06:42 AM
    ssgirl

    Well luckily this whole thing only made me want to look better... I was on my way to that place anyway... he thought I was too pretty for him... too smart for him... been to man places done too many things... too independent and at 5'6" too tall... and at 55 too old... yet he looks 65... just ego issues... I tried being less, dumbed myself up.. tried being plain and ugly... in the end it is not me... it is him.. knowing that does not help at this point... a smart woman once said the best revenge is to be happy...
  • Sep 13, 2009, 06:50 AM
    amicon
    Strange- he sounds similar to the guy I left a couple of months ago!:-(how old s your ex?the best revenge if that's what you need apart from being happy,would be to have no contact with him whatsoever.He lost you-so he is the loser.
  • Sep 13, 2009, 07:12 AM
    ssgirl

    He is 54... a legend in his own mind... real selfesteem issues... I am working hard at not saying a word to him.. I can not fix him...
  • Sep 13, 2009, 07:19 AM
    amicon
    No we can only fix ourselves-noone else.and we can't change ourselves to fit in with somebody else's idea of how we should be.with experience comes selfawareness-and we begin to realise what we want from a relationship.we all deserve to allow ourselves to be happy.
  • Sep 13, 2009, 07:24 AM
    ssgirl

    Very true... I tried for years to be who he wanted... and he did not return the favor... the south of the USA is strange many men still think they own women... southern women had told me this... did not believe it... I do now... I am from California.. now live in Ohio...
  • Sep 13, 2009, 07:32 AM
    amicon
    It's a strange old world-some men in the UK think this as well-we have to be true to ourselves and if that's not good enough for the person we re with we should cut our losses even if it s painful.it helps to keep busy and be good to ourselves.
  • Sep 13, 2009, 08:13 AM
    ssgirl

    I go on vacation to Cancun Mexico... the men I have met from the UK seem much better than american men...
  • Sep 13, 2009, 08:38 AM
    amicon

    Most of them are ok-you just get the occasional oddball!:-)
  • Sep 13, 2009, 10:00 PM
    ssgirl

    I guess that can said about all men...
  • Sep 13, 2009, 10:36 PM
    CFZD
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by ssgirl View Post
    I go on vacation to Cancun Mexico...the men I have met from the UK seem much better than american men...

    In terms of..

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