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-   -   Big or small? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=391464)

  • Aug 28, 2009, 04:51 PM
    crisluvsu731
    Big or small?
    Why don't most guys like girls with meat on them? So many guys like the girls with no boobs, no butt, and no personality? But they have no meat. How is that sexy? What is wrong with girls who have curves? Just wondering, any input would be great!
  • Aug 28, 2009, 05:12 PM
    jmjoseph
    I love curves! No Olive Oyl for me!
  • Aug 28, 2009, 05:29 PM
    crisluvsu731

    I don't get it, olive oyl?
  • Aug 28, 2009, 05:32 PM
    crisluvsu731
    Oh, OK. I get it. So, how much meat is too much meat for you?
  • Aug 28, 2009, 05:37 PM
    artlady

    I live in a predominately African American neighborhood and believe me ,the black men I know love big curvy women with big butts especially!
  • Aug 28, 2009, 05:44 PM
    jmjoseph
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by crisluvsu731 View Post
    i dont get it, olive oyl?

    Olive Oyl is Popeye's girlfriend. She's skinny as a pencil. Google her.

    I love women ( only one now) with some meat on their bones.
  • Aug 28, 2009, 05:44 PM
    none12345

    Ima guy and I like a girl for her personality. It is what is inside that matters the most but to be honest I wouldn't mind having a girl with no meat as long as she is not overly skinny. Its because we would match better since I'm not very meaty myself. Just my thoughts and opinions. Hope it was an input.
  • Aug 28, 2009, 05:50 PM
    none12345

    Another thing is some guys don't like girls that are more meaty than them because it has something to do with being dominant as a guy. I THINK...
  • Aug 29, 2009, 08:08 AM
    chuff

    If I had to choose between a 75 skelaton and a 300 lb woman who will finish the meal I bought her, then I'm going with the 300 lbs girls.

    Did you have one bad experience and are basing this off that by chance? I can only speak for me, but I've dated the all ranges of girls from looks to body size and personally I actually find dating super hot girls to be not worth my time. I find them to be self centered, large ego's, and have a sense of entitlement that you don't find with "normal" girls, which ironically makes the normal girls more attractive.
  • Aug 29, 2009, 09:16 AM
    talaniman

    I like 'em all! A good woman is just a good woman, no matter the package she comes wrapped in.
  • Aug 29, 2009, 09:32 AM
    s_cianci
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by jmjoseph View Post
    I love curves! No Olive Oyl for me!

    Same here!
  • Aug 29, 2009, 10:02 AM
    nikosmom

    I'm a curvy woman. Thick. Voluptuous. Whatever you want to call it. But I work what I have. Confidence is key. I dress in a way that is alluring yet compliments my features. Do I look nice - hell yeah. I'm not stuck up but I am confident. Not because of the way I look but more so because I know I have something to offer a man. In fact, many great things.

    Read any of my posts. I'm smart. I'm kind. Have a great sense of humor. I've made many friends here because of my brain not because of my boobage.

    Quick insight: I have a coworker who is rail thin; so thin that you can see her hip bones. Me- well I've been called "Curvalicious". (Yes, really. A guy gave me that name.) But we have a lot of people come in our office daily and she always wonders why they drool over me. I always say, "I dunno, I think they like my personality."

    So thin, thick, or anything in between- most men prefer the "complete package" regardless of the frame.
  • Aug 29, 2009, 10:51 AM
    paxe

    I prefer thin women and I know most guy do. It's easier to change the way you look than to change how men like women :D. Looks are important but they are not everything.

    A lot of times I turn down gorgeous women because I haven't made a connection with, even down they are perfect physically. Sometimes I get connected with less beautiful women but who have great character. Charm and character are extremely important for me, and I would say most guys.
  • Aug 29, 2009, 11:02 AM
    Jake2008
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by crisluvsu731 View Post
    Why don't most guys like girls with meat on them? So many guys like the girls with no boobs, no butt, and no personality? but they have no meat. How is that sexy? What is wrong with girls who have curves? Just wondering, any input would be great!!

    I don't think it is any different than my single female friends, who all have a preference for characteristics, as shallow and limiting as that may be.

    One will only date 5'10" and shorter, skinny, preferably long hair, biker/rock star type.

    Another only blonde, athletic, muscle bound, nothing between the ears sort of guy.

    Another one wants a suit and tie type of guy, clean cut, minimum education standards, clean shaven with no mortgage and no child support payments.

    Everybody has a preference, or attraction to a certain type of person, that they feel compatible with, even if its only for one night. Some differentiate a one night stand girl, to a girl they'd bring home to meet mom.

    I don't think they all prefer model types, any more than model types prefer a certain type of guy. I guess discrimination goes both ways.

    To each his own.
  • Aug 29, 2009, 11:17 AM
    artlady

    I have seen very attractive people who turn heads when they walk into a room and then when they open their mouth,their allure goes right out the window. That's all they have.

    Their personalities don't match the outer beauty.Inside they are superficial.

    I have also seen reasonably attractive people who smile and are genuine and people flock to them because they are real ! Those are the people that truly connect with others.

    Think about how many beautiful men and women get dumped or cheated on by someone less physically attractive.

    That speaks for itself.

    In the long haul,looks alone wears pretty thin.
  • Aug 29, 2009, 11:29 AM
    Jake2008
    ArtLady, that is so funny. I can relate to that person who looks so handsome/gorgeous, then they open their mouths and prove that they have nothing between the ears but fluff. Lol

    It's interesting that people limit themselves to certain characteristics. I've tried really, really hard with a few of my friends to open up a few possibilities- just simple ones like no hair instead of a comb-over lol, and even if the guy has no front teeth, drools, and eats with his hands, they still stick to that 'vision'.

    I've met some of the good lookers too, and yes, they are quite yummy, but, keeping conversations at a grade three level gets a little boring. "Duh......did uh...you....uh.....um........uhhhhhhhhh, d'uh........see the red car go by fast?"...

    Lol I'd better stop right here! :D
  • Aug 29, 2009, 11:46 AM
    artlady
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Jake2008 View Post
    ArtLady, that is so funny. I can relate to that person who looks so handsome/gorgeous, then they open their mouths and prove that they have nothing between the ears but fluff. lol

    It's interesting that people limit themselves to certain characteristics. I've tried really, really hard with a few of my friends to open up a few possibilities- just simple ones like no hair instead of a comb-over lol, and even if the guy has no front teeth, drools, and eats with his hands, they still stick to that 'vision'.

    I've met some of the good lookers too, and yes, they are quite yummy, but, keeping conversations at a grade three level gets a little boring. "Duh......did uh...you....uh.....um........uhhhhhhhhh, d'uh........see the red car go by fast?"....

    lol I'd better stop right here! :D

    Keep at those girls Jake.I have never had a type.I know what I like in the way of looks.
    I used to have this vision of a guy who looked like James Taylor with long dark hair... until I fell in love with a bald fat man ! True :p
  • Aug 29, 2009, 11:59 AM
    Alty

    Just remember one thing. Looks fade, personality lasts forever.

    I'm average. I'm not super skinny, I'm not chunky. I'm not gorgeous, I'm not ugly. I know that if I walk into a room full of people that I'm not going to be the prettiest girl there. I do however know that I'll walk into that room and most of the people there will gravitate towards me. No, that's not conceit, it's confidence.

    I know who I am, I'm comfortable in my own skin, I'm smart, I'm funny and I'm confident. It's taken a long time to become who I am, and the first step was accepting myself and all my flaws.

    You have to love who you are, walk into a room and know that you're well worth the time.

    Real men don't judge a book by it's cover, they open the pages and read. :)
  • Aug 29, 2009, 12:06 PM
    mudweiser

    Hi I'm not rail thin.. but I do wear a size 4. I'm not dumb. I have a lot to say. I'm a good friend to have. I think I'm funny... my looks well it doesn't really matter.

    If you have this stinky attitude guys are going to smell it, black, white, yellow or brown-- and they won't stick around for so long.

    So my suggestion to you is to stay positive. If you have some sort of jealousy towards thinner people then get healthy yourself. Realize I said healthy- not go on a crash diet and starve yourself. Get some exercise, eat right and not only will you get thinner but you'll be healthier.

    I'd also like to say that it depends what "type" of guy your going for. Some guys are shallow and some go for personality. If you keep going for guys whom have dated only thin dummy girls then chances are you won't be his next girlfriend.

    Besides, if you want a boyfriend you got to love yourself first.

    If you keep busy with your own life:
    -socialize
    -volunteer
    -get a job/ go to school
    -read some self help books on self improvement
    -learn a new language
    -take a cooking class

    Soon enough someone will notice you!

    It's much better to be found than the be the one doing the finding.

    Anyway, that's just my opinion.

    Sarah
  • Aug 29, 2009, 01:07 PM
    jmjoseph
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by paxe View Post
    I prefer thin women and I know most guy do. It's easier to change the way you look than to change how men like women :D. Looks are important but they are not everything.

    A lot of times I turn down gorgeous women because I haven't made a connection with, even down they are perfect physically. Sometimes I get connected with less beautiful women but who have great character. Charm and character are extremely important for me, and I would say most guys.

    More guys nowadays like women with a nice body, but not THIN. Thin women don't have nice bottoms.
  • Aug 29, 2009, 02:14 PM
    paxe
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by jmjoseph View Post
    More guys nowadays like women with a nice body, but not THIN. Thin women don't have nice bottoms.

    I never said that we don't like form, I love form with a thin body and most guy do. We don't especially like overweight women in general.
  • Aug 29, 2009, 04:21 PM
    mudweiser
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by paxe View Post
    I never said that we don't like form, I love form with a thin body and most guy do. We don't especially like overweight women in general.

    Unfortunately, most heavy women forget that they indeed are heavy and decide to clothe themselves in a manner that is not flattering;
    http://tbn2.google.com/images?q=tbn:...d8298834-320pi

    Here is an example of a woman who knows how to dress for her "size"

    http://www.bargainmoose.ca/wp-conten...enningtons.jpg
    http://hudson-jeans.com/wp-content/u...ner_resize.jpg
    http://images2.cafemom.com/images/us...821977_med.jpg

    Dare I say...

    No one likes to see a the muffin top or just too tight clothing.

    The best route to go is to find clothes that fit you well! Even a size 2 person can choose the worst of outfits.

    I believe that love does start with looks-- the guy/girl does have to be attracted to you to begin the whole process!

    Why not increase your chances of finding love with just getting a better wardrobe-- besides you'll feel sexier and more confident with clothes that don't cut your circulation or you have to keep fixing every now and then.

    Sarah
  • Aug 29, 2009, 04:41 PM
    jmjoseph
    Sarah, I had to spread the rep. but you are absolutely right about women wearing the right clothes for their size. And the plus sized model in those pictures is really my type( if I wasn't married, I only have eyes for my wife now). I don't like the bottom picture though, maybe it's the dress...

    When my wife and I got married, she was a size 6. Now after two kids, and my cooking( I cook a lot and I use real ingredients... like butter) , she is a size 14. I love her the way she is regardless, and like her better with some more meat on her bones. I have particularly enjoyed the extra boob weight. She is losing weight now for health reasons and her self esteem. She knows I'll love her no matter how she looks. But will cook more cobbler, pies, and the like if she gets too thin.

    GOD made women all sizes, and men to love them. Isn't it great how that works?
  • Aug 29, 2009, 06:52 PM
    none12345

    Basically I think most guys would like a girl that is not skinny and not meaty. Just the right amount. I do believe that personality is more important than looks but at the same time there is more to attraction than just personality.

    For me I have an image of the perfect girl but than again perfection is in the eyes of the beholder. I am sure there is at least one person or even tons more who will see you as the perfect person.

    But then again I don't think being too shallow is a good thing because then you might not find the person you are looking for. Anyway I'm done blabbing LOL.
  • Aug 30, 2009, 01:51 PM
    amicon
    We re all individuals and attracted to different looks personalities etc etc.So what works for you works for you.:-) healthy s nice I think!
  • Aug 30, 2009, 02:32 PM
    artlady
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by jmjoseph View Post
    Sarah, I had to spread the rep., but you are absolutely right about women wearing the right clothes for their size. And the plus sized model in those pictures is really my type( if I wasn't married, I only have eyes for my wife now). I don't like the bottom picture though, maybe it's the dress....

    When my wife and I got married, she was a size 6. Now after two kids, and my cooking( I cook a lot and I use real ingredients... like butter) , she is a size 14. I love her the way she is regardless, and like her better with some more meat on her bones. I have particularly enjoyed the extra boob weight. She is losing weight now for health reasons and her self esteem. She knows I'll love her no matter how she looks. But will cook more cobbler, pies, and the like if she gets too thin.

    GOD made women all sizes, and men to love them. Isn't it great how that works?

    Go light! Or as advertised "lite"!

    This is a challenge that I have come to embrace.I am trying to eliminate the unnecessary fats and sugars and many things. It isn't easy to do at first but simply using applesauce instead of oil in a cake mix,is a good thing.

    There are many substitutes these days that are better for you and don't have to impair the taste.

    Heart disease,high cholesterol,all of those things you don't want in your life can be prevented to some degree.Heart disease in the number one killer of women,in the U.S.

    If people have children it is vitally important to begin to keep their arteries clean now!

    Diet has also been a factor in colon cancer.My brother lost his battle with it and ironically,he was a very renown chef and cooking teacher.

    All of the food he cooked,he tasted while it was cooking.

    Sorry for high jacking the thread :rolleyes: Really!
  • Aug 30, 2009, 03:27 PM
    paxe

    Starting a meal with a huge salad helps a lot. Lost 22 pound like that.
  • Aug 30, 2009, 03:35 PM
    artlady
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by paxe View Post
    Starting a meal with a huge salad helps a lot. Lost 22 pound like that.

    Exactly! Every little bit counts and just filling up on salad instead of bread is a great choice.
    If you simply cut out little things,it can have a huge impact!
  • Aug 30, 2009, 06:43 PM
    CFZD

    OP,

    It doesn't matter! Being a woman, you always need to take care of yourself. Eat healthy, work out regular and maintain a good circle of friends. You can go to the gym with your friends forming a routin (e.g 4 times a week). But you don't do this for the men, you do it for yourself!
  • Aug 31, 2009, 08:50 AM
    kctiger

    I know everyone on here has done a wonderful job of answering the OP's question so I will not pretend that I have anything profound to add.

    For me a women who is confident and above all good hearted can make up for any potential flaw she may have physically. No one is perfect and we are all attracted to what we consider beauty. The good thing about beauty is that if you pick the right kind, it lasts forever. There are tons of guys who love all sorts of gals, and vice versa. I am always amazed to find a girl that can actually put up with me... that is a girl that I want to get to know!

    To the OP, just be happy with yourself and know that ALL women are beautiful so long as that beauty starts with their heart!
  • Aug 31, 2009, 09:02 AM
    I wish

    Bottom line is it depends on the person's tastes; however, you can't control the person tastes.

    But you can control your feelings and your appearanc. The important part is that you are comfortable with your personality and your physical appearance. Once you are comfortable with yourself, you are in a better position to look for someone who will accept you for you.
  • Aug 31, 2009, 09:53 AM
    crisluvsu731

    Well, I am a big girl, but I am told that I'm "pretty for a big girl" what is that suppose to mean? And if a guy hollers at me and I ignore him, I am a "fat bi**h. It just got me thinking why guys go more for the skinny ones.
  • Aug 31, 2009, 09:57 AM
    kctiger

    Some guys will go for anything that means a quick lay... not all of us are like that.

    Stay true to yourself and if someone can't accept that then they don't deserve you. If a guy can't accept you on your worst day he sure as hell doesn't deserve you on your best.
  • Aug 31, 2009, 10:13 AM
    crisluvsu731

    Thank you for that kctiger.
  • Aug 31, 2009, 10:14 AM
    Jake2008
    Cris,

    Don't judge all men by the boorish few. I've dated all sorts of men, fat, skinny, all kinds of interests and occupations, and the one I ended up with for 33 years and counting now, is sort of a combination of all of them.

    There was a time in his life he would have dated a tall leggy blond with no butt and big knockers, and little between the ears, and was oblivious to me, the tree climbing, bike riding no makeup gal down the street. Then he grew up and realized there was more to a long term relationship than physical characteristics, started dating me, who's been up and down 30 pounds overnight, and all the really important things saw us through all these years.

    Don't make time for people who judge people. For any reason, but particularly the shape you happen to be. And don't think that you aren't noticed either. If you come across as being less than worthy, or without confidence, men will pass you buy.

    Negative people I avoid at all cost. I pick up on that easily, and there was a time where I thought it was directed to me, but it wasn't. It's just the way some people are, so don't let them penetrate that confidence, and tear down your self-worth. Let them go tear somebody else up, you stay strong. Pick people that are good for you, love you, enjoy your company, and that have a good sense of humour, and you them.

    It is a waste of time to give of yourself to those that do not appreciate you for who you are. That may sound corny, but that really is the truth.
  • Aug 31, 2009, 10:28 AM
    rosebud135

    I think that your just talking about the jerks. The "oh i need a skinny perfect chick" When really, Phat is the new fad. (:
    Im curvy and have had the same man for a year now. And I've also had lots of others and they liked my body the way it was. Just don't only talk about your body because they don't want to hear it.
  • Aug 31, 2009, 10:31 AM
    crisluvsu731

    Thank you. I appreciate that. I definitely agree with that.
  • Aug 31, 2009, 10:32 AM
    crisluvsu731
    Well, I am getting the gastric bypass surgery done in the next few months, I want to be healthy, but I don't want to be a tooth pick. I am excited.
  • Aug 31, 2009, 10:41 AM
    Synnen

    Cris,

    I bet the guys you're dealing with are all under 25.

    Sometime right around 25 they start getting brains and thinking with the BIG head instead of their LITTLE head.

    Seriously--BOYS want the perfect thin girl. MEN want a woman with confidence.

    So the next time someone tells you that you're "pretty, for a big girl", tell him:

    "Thanks! You speak well, for an idiot!"
  • Aug 31, 2009, 11:09 AM
    Jake2008
    A friend of mine had that surgery nearly two years ago now. I'll tell you, she is half the person she was, literally, and she's in shape, energetic, and feels really good about herself.

    It is a very long haul though, I hope that you are well informed, it won't be easy to adjust yourself and keep to the rules.

    Good luck to you, I hope you let us know how it all went.

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