OK, we broke up the 4th of July and I find out she is getting married in September. We had a one year relashionship with ups and downs but everyone that know us agree it was beautiul, now she is getting married in September after 3 weeks she started seeing this other guy but the worst is that she still loves me she says I'm the love of her life, that he is not match next to me, that she will love me forever but she can't be with me because she doesn't trust me anymore. I need to understand why is she doing this does she not understand she may ruin her life by getting marry loving someone else? I need to understand sadly she is the love of my life too I have her name tattooed on my chest and she has mine. She is breaking my heart in a million pieces

Why did you do that she can't trust you?

There seems to be A LOT missing from this story.

Why are you still in contact with her and listening to her bs she is throwing in your ear?

The truth of the matter is she is taken and is due to get married so you need to step back and completely leave her alone. Otherwise, your going stay stuck and down.

She is your ex and I know every relationship has it up and downs but the two of you didn't overcome them because if the two of you did you would be together right now.

What lead to the break up in July?

OK yes I did a lot to her and she always forgave me I thank her so much, but that is no reason to marry so soon, you don't love some one in 3 weeks you don't marry in 3 weeks, you don't marry loving someone else. I know she is doing this just to get over mebut this is not the way, if I can'tchange her mind soon I will have no other option but to step aside and wish her the best even without me cause I love her so much but how can you marry someone loving another WHAT IS SHE THINKING?

If this is what she wants, then you can't do anything to change her mind. You need to walk away NOW, waiting isn't doing anything. She ended it, she found someone else and is now preparing to marry him, just bow out of this man.

You fail to realize that she can marry whoever she wants because it is her life. I wouldn't marry someone after just knowing that person for 3 weeks but different strokes foe different folks.

You need to stay out of her life and focus on yours.

Yeah, you guys are right, at the end I'm going to have to move on and start right now, but what about her love for me? That she says she has. I believe her because she has always been a very honest person no complaints about that, well I guess good or bad its her decision and like liz28 saidi have to focus on mine this moments only make you strong or put you down and I will be strong. Just to think both families are having dinner together right now makes me sick. Wow is the worst feeling I ever had :) thank you all god bless u

Her love for you is something she alone must deal with. That's how you have to go about things now

The thing is, if she's behaving like this to 'get over you' then that is her choice.

There is absolutely nothing you can do about that. It sounds as if you had your chance and you both blew it.

If she's prepared to do something as serious as this, whilst still claiming to love you, then heaven help the poor sucker she's marrying, is all I can say.

Keep away from her and let her deal with the consequences of her choice. It's the only way we learn what life is all about.

Her actions are what you listen to, not the words.

Yesterday we agreed to see each other and talk about it well we did, I made her a letter stating my feelings and all my toughts and made her a cd with "our songs" like love of my life by queen and your song by elton john among others. We cried she said she loves me so much and she is doing this to move on. She is moving to another state and that way she will forget about everything, she does not have feelings for her fiancé that when they are together she feels that she is cheating on me and everything they do I'm in her mind bla bla bla, bottom line we laid down on the sofa I hugged her and she did too and yes we kissed nothing else, we kissed two or three times.well ater that I realized I lost her but the most important is that I want to move on now I'm not sitting down and cry for her I don't want that in my life ,her decision was to hurt both of us well she has to deal with the consequences now, I can only wish her good luck now

I feel your pain same happened to me. Is getting married after meeting someone 6 months later. Sept 19th hope he rots in hell

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Originally Posted by alexkl

ok yes i did a lot to her and she always forgave me i thank her so much, but that is no reason to marry so soon, you don't love some one in 3 weeks you don't marry in 3 weeks, you don't marry loving someone else. i know she is doing this just to get over mebut this is not the way, if i can'tchange her mind soon i will have no other option but to step aside and wish her the best even without me cause i love her so much but how can u marry someone loving another WHAT IS SHE THINKING??

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If you loved her so much in the first place you should have never done anything to her to break her trust. You took her for granted that she always forgave you. And NOW after you can't have her you finally see the error of your ways? WOW. That's not cliché at all is it?
Move on buddy. You did NOT make her feel appreciated. Yes, she is going about it the wrong way. But it is no longer your place. You lost out on that when you brok her trust.
Don't go sounding like a victim. Sounds like you caused it in the first place.

Sorry but when its over its over.and the only thing we can do is heal and get on with our lives.

Honestly I've been in a relationship much the same, and the girl I used to love is getting married today... As to Ohsohappy sometimes it's not because you're really breaking her trust but just sometimes strains happen that break apart relationships, in my case some overprotective parents that made it hard to see her. Oh well, at least this new guy finds it easier to fit into the fold because he was her brother's friend I guess.

Not quite sure how we're meant to deal with it and people say that over time you'll hurt less but it doesn't really seem to be the case. I guess we'll just have to hope and pray we'll find someone else that'll let us forget the past and move on.

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Originally Posted by Paregama

Honestly I've been in a relationship much the same, and the girl I used to love is getting married today... As to Ohsohappy sometimes it's not because you're really breaking her trust but just sometimes strains happen that break apart relationships, in my case some overprotective parents that made it hard to see her. Oh well, at least this new guy finds it easier to fit into the fold cos he was her brother's friend I guess.

Not quite sure how we're meant to deal with it and people say that over time you'll hurt less but it doesn't really seem to be the case. I guess we'll just have to hope and pray we'll find someone else that'll let us forget the past and move on.

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This post was from August. Read the dates before you reply to them please, this poster hasn't come back to this thread in months.

ohsohappy is right and don't get into a relationship to be happy. It's a recipe for disaster. Be happy first alone and the rest will follow! I'm living prrof of being happy after a tough break up. NC is the answer. I'm sooo happy!!

I believe she was seeing that person while she was with you... I never known someone to marry that fast but hey the world is moving fast as of today so...

Again the OP last posted in August-its an old thread-please check dates before posting.

A girl I really like got engaged and pregnant about six months after we parted ways. I really liked her while our relationship was on but got the feeling she was not that into me. I always felt she belonged to someone else, that we weren't meant for each other but I still liked her, A LOT! She confessed she was still caught up with her x-bf and it all made sense. She was clearly still in love with him. She refused to have sex/make love (whateva u want to call it) and this made me really insecure and desperate to claim her as mine. Don't get me wrong, sex was never a pre-requisite, but, among other things, I felt she was making excuses and almost "saving herself for someone else" (perhaps someone more deserving). I laugh now when I think back on my desperate efforts to make her love me, but at the time, it was traumatic and extremely frustrating. I feel stupid thinking back on how I assumed blame for our messed up arrangement but with the state of mind I had at the time, I don't see how I could have done anything differently. It almost drove me mad, I couldn't even eat! We eventually broke up because thinks were inconsistent and the disparities were getting bigger and bigger. It broke my heart all over again when I heard she was I pregnant and engaged. Here I was still licking my wounds while she had started a new life with a 'new man'. Or was he new after all? I spoke to my mother about it and she told me it's unlikely the guy is new. It's probably 'the ex' or a guy that was always there. The funny thing is, she used to tell me "I worried about nothing" every time I would confront her about her not being into relationship as much as I was. In hindsight, I think I had eveything to worry about. It makes sense why she was never worried as much as I was - She couldn't be bothered by something that meant very little, if anything, to her.

The key lesson: Never settle for less, and never ignore how something makes you feel, even when you can't pin-point the problem. If something FEELS wrong - it probably is. Love yourself first. Aways.

Before anyone tells me this thread is old I ALREADY KNOW, I am just posting this if people come across it and can use other ppl's stories to help them get through their situation. This happened to me. I don't know if you still check this or not but I'm writing my response so that other girls know that this happens. I was with my ex for 4 years and about 3 months after we broke up I saw a pic on myspace of him on one knee. I know he broke up with me because he wanted to be with her. When it happened initially I was surprised why I was so upset because I had fallen out of love with him but I came to the conclusion that it was an ego thing at the time. You figure I was with the guy for 4 years and she was only with him a couple months. With that said they were married 6 months after we broke up. It's been about 3 years and now I completely understand why he did it... They are perfect for each other and still married. Everyone needs to remember that an ex is an ex for a reason and yeah I definitely wouldn't want to be married to him, she can have him lol now I'm the one getting married and I'm so glad that my ex and I broke it off because if not I wouldn't be where I am today. Just remember if you are in this situation you need to think logically about the situation... Yes it hurts but do you really want to be with someone who wants to marry someone else? No way! What if the roles were switched and you fell madly in love with someone and had an annoying ex who kept wanting you back, yeah that's not attractive. Anyway just think of it as a blessing that now you can be with someone who truly loves you and someone you truly love =]

You have no power over who she is seeing, marrying, etc. no matter how crazy this seems,, actually is. What you do have power over is to determine why, if you loved her like you say you "did a lot to her, and she always forgave you". Why did you do these things? What have you learned from this? Those are the things you have power over. I am sorry you are going through this pain. It's the worst, don't let it be in vain, learn your lesson.