Entire story merged

Okay me and my boo have been having problems and I wanted to break it off with him because I have been feeling like this for so long and when I found that he was capable of cheating that really brought it all home. So I decided to talk to him and I told him Monday that I was coming over to his place on Friday(yesterday) to talk to him. So, yesterday I text him and he text me back and told me to call him right then but I didn't because I was with my family. Then later on like 9 I was on my way to his house and I told him I was on my way and he wasn't there. He made up the excuse of him working and that he wouldn't be back home because, he would be working and then he was going to his people house for a party there were throwing for his cousin and it might be too late. So with this it really ticked me off and I was like okay or whatever. So instead of talking to him on the phone my dumbass text him a 11 page text telling him how I felt and how I just wanted to be over. So this morning I get texts from him saying that he was sorry that I felt that way and that I was wrong because he loved me and he really needed to see me, and I don't know what to do to go see him or not because, I'm scared he might try to do something crazy to me for the things I said.. So is he trying to work us out or just playing with my emotions?

What do you mean, "do something crazy"? Like hit you? Or lie to you?

If either is the case, break it off. In fact, I'm pretty sure you should find someone else anyway. You said he's been making excuses on why he can't talk to you about something that truly bothers you, and he cheated!

What else do you really need? He's a scumbag jerkface!

If he does try to "talk it out" with you, he's just going to feed you more garbage and tell you to stop being paranoid. Well, trash the loser.

He's definitely due for a smackdown.

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Originally Posted by Sweetgirl10

im scared he might try to do something crazy to me for the things i said..

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When you say something like that. You definitely should not be seeing him. If you have no choice, then I suggest you bring someone you trust (friend, brother, sister, cousin, etc.) with you. Just for your protection.

It's hard to tell what's going on when you're not being specific, OP.

Please explain what you mean by him "doing something crazy"! It honestly makes me a little worried.

Listen to I Wish and don't go.

He sounds like a shady lady.

I mean him hitting me or trying to shoot me. I have like a sense that he is being nice to me just to get me to his place to either try to sleep with me or hit me

SHOOT YOU!

Girlfriend, then don't go see him! Stay as far away from him and his friends as possible! Call the police if you don't feel safe!

Are you talking about your boyfriend, or your husband?

Threads merged

:)Okay this is going to be long so please bear with me. Me and my bae were going through a tough time like always and around this time we weren't talking so I text him and he didn't respond. After I seen no response I asked my "so-called" friend to text him to see if he responded so she did and he responded and said hey who is this? I thanked her and told her that she could stop txtn. Come to find out she continued to text him and sent me all the messages. Around this time I didn't have my phone on me because I was upset and left my phone home. So I read all of them and he was asking how did she know him and she's like I'm a friend of the girl you ****** last week(which wasn't me because we hadn't seen each other in like 3 wks) So he's like stop playing man who are you and they went on and he was asking how she knew him how did he look was anything noticeable on him and stuff like that and the dummy described the picture I took with him and exactly how he loooked so he replied and said damn so she must not care. I already was mad about it and asked her did she tell him that was me and she's like no so lets just say me and her do not talk anymore and on top of that she sent him a picture of herself all dressed. Okay last Saturday I wrote him like a 3 pg text explaining how I felt and that I was tired of feeling the way I was so he responded back and was like baby don't act like that I thought that you didn't like me anymore. So I forgave him and he tried to see me that Thursday but I couldn't because I had a test and class so I tried to see him Friday. On Friday I text him to meet up and he doesn't respond so I send another and say okay I get the point you do no twant to be bothered with me so I will let you be. Then he call but I do not answer because I'm on my way to his place. So I call back and he's like upset and asking why I'm always tripping like I always do and that he cannot talk to me all the tim because he is working(which is the 2nd time he has had to tell me this) so I apologize and everything is cool between us and we continue about everything that's been going on then out of no where he's like who did you give my phone # to and I got so scared but I finally fessed up and he told me everything that they were saying and I really felt bad and my ex- no good so called friend did tell him that it was me. But that was the reason he was mad @ me because I gave her his phone # and I wasn't talking to him that much. But he was about to do another tattoo and said that he wanted to see me and would call after he was finished but I never received a call back and now I'm still wondering is he mad or just working hard and I'm trying not to "trip" on him as he say.. I just don't know what to do anymore because I really do love him with my whole being and we have been in this too long to let go now but if that is what I have to do then I guess I just have to since I was acting childish and playing games I was just trying to see who else he's talking to when he's not talking to me and I'm just hurting and confused. So... would you please tell me what this sounds like to you and what would you do? Thanks in advance:)

There isn't time for games in relationships and this relationship isn't going to make it anywhere. You are clingy, insecure, childish, those aren't things that you change overnight. Instead you grow up, treat people as you wish to be treated with some respect.

How old are you? Is this just part of a 'bad boy' stage? You sound like a teenager swooning over that twenty-something tattoo artist that is just so cool!

Uhmm okay well I'm only 16 but I'm very mature for my age, at times but the thing is that friend isn't your friend cause she's doing what people can't do cheat on friends with there boy friends so I think she's eitehr doing two things , one asking him what's up and tell him how you feel and trying to help or two , to take him for herself as if he is acting like this then there is another girl in his life and you shoudnt let that happen this is only a suggestion so take it like that but I think he most likey cheating on you for your friend, uh ex friend and that I'm so sorry I hate cheaters myself but I would say prove it beofre you act cause I may be wrong
- good luck

Thank you so much for your answer and you really are mature for your age:). Most of all thank you for taking out the time to answer my question.

Well first of all just want fair you need to learn how to talk to people. If you are going to come off that way then you should have just never answered my question. I really don't have time for cold-hearted and disrespectful people like you. Im pretty sure you wouldn't want anyone talking to you in such a way. But anyway, I'm much better than you so I'm not going to stoop to your level and for your information my age and my significant other age is none of your damn concern. Thanks... you are dismissed and please don not bother to answer any more of my questions and learn some respect yourself:):) have a nice day!


This also for for anyone that choose to come on here and answer my question with harsh responses I really don't have time for it so just save me and yourself a favor and just not respond thanks

I'm talking about my husband aka fiancée so good call that

Does that mean you don't want the truth?
Can't handle the truth?

Either he's your husband OR your fiancée. Not both.

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So... would you please tell me what this sounds like to you and what would you do? Thanks in advance:)

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It sounds like your with the wrong guy. Instead of playing games, and wondering if he is. Get rid of him, before he gets rid of you.

Haven't you been through enough with these guys? You need a break from these childish games. How old are you?

Is this the same guy as the one mentioned in your other thread?

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Originally Posted by Sweetgirl10

Well first of all just want fair you need to learn how to talk to people. If you are going to come off that way then you should have just never answered my question. I really dont have time for cold-hearted and disrespectful people like you. Im pretty sure you wouldnt want anyone talking to you in such a way. But anyway, im much better than you so im not going to stoop to your level and for your information my age and my significant other age is none of your damn concern. Thanks...you are dismissed and please don not bother to answer any more of my questions and learn some respect yourself:):) have a nice day!

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You are playing childish games in an adult relationship, you wanted to know if you were wrong and if he should be mad at you... well, in short, yes.

My answer wasn't cold-hearted just direct. I appreciate direct truth when I hear it. You are young, 18 I believe... correct? Your age does play a crucial role in your ability to handle an adult relationship.

Unfortunately, you don't have an option to dismiss me, but you can ignore everything that I say.

Hope things are looking brighter. When you have confidence in yourself, you won't be looking for your confidence to come from the people in your life. Good luck.

Ouch was that for me that last thread from you cause I'm only trying to help and I think I did there's two possiblilties to actually even think about and that there are always negitives about relationships but just look at the bright side you might just be paranoid

I correctly guessed your age. There's a reason why almost everyone asked about your age, it's the maturity shown through your language and emotions.

Stop playing girl, he seems like he's not very putting effort on the relationship, and you on the other hand is trying to put effort using an UNHEALTHY, USELESS way. This doesn't improve the communication between both of you. Only more unnecessary emotions in you.

No that's was for sweetgirl.:-)

Thank you all for your answers and I will take into consideration:)

Chill, ignorance is bliss. You're here for some advise and support. Take that only from us.. we'd like to see you cheer up

:) Thanks a lot!! That put a smile to my face

Today when I was spending time with my boo I seen his sister who I attended school with and once was cool with. She didn't speak to me so neither did I. I just wanted to know does this sound like she doesn't like me because I'm talking to her brother or she heard something. I really don't know why because I never did anything to her and on top of that awhile back before me and my boyfriend got together I put him on my page and she ask how I knew him and I told her and we kept a conversation about it and that was it. She didn't even think to speak on telling me that that was her brother and how she felt. Also, I tried to be nice to her recently because she was pregnant and I asked her on myspace how was she doing and did she have her baby yet? I didn't get a response so when I seen her today she just kept watching TV like she didn't see me and when I left she just watched me leave. So could you please tell me what this sound like... I really don't care because I'm in love with her brother not her but I just want to know.

You'd have to ask her. Obviously something is going on, but we can only guess, so can you.

Go to the source, the one that knows what's going on, her.

Good luck.

She sounds kind of stuck up.

Your so right ill just have to ask her myself. I didn't think personally that it would be a problem but I'm guessing its an embarrassment to her because we are the same age and her brother is older than the both of us

She hasn't always been stuck up because we were once cool before like we would talk

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Originally Posted by Sweetgirl10

she hasnt always been stuck up because we were once cool before like we would talk

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People are just weird, I really wouldnt' taker it personally. People at my work talk to me like I'm an idiot sometimes for absolutely NO reaosn, but OH WELL, it's their problem, not mine, look at this the same way. There's no reason to care.

You know what I think I'm going to go with your advice because its so obvious I felt the same. I really don't care whether she does or not. When I asked my boyfriend about it he was like why do you feel like that? So I don't know and I am not about to stress over it. Like you said, "OH WELL" her lost not mine.

Well I haven't talked to my boyfriend for 3 days. It is voluntarily because, lately he has been really busy with his job because of him trying to get a place and I have been very supportive of that. Whenever we do talk we can have a conversation through text and then he goes silent and I ask him he is there and he's like I'm here baby I'm sorry. I'm working. So I got fed up with it and decided to not talk to him. This is the 3rd day now and I turned my phone off so he cannot get in contact with me. By the way I have practiced this before so he wouldn't feel like I was too clingy and like the longest I did it would be a day and he would hit me up later that day and say baby what's up why haven't I heard from you? So I'm not too sure what he's thinking right now. I mean guys what's going through his head? Is this wrong what I'm doing because I'm only trying to give him his space and be supportive from afar. By the way we have been together almost a year now(its only 11 months now). Thanks in Advace!! (All answers are welcome):confused:

Sorry, you are not giving him space and being supportive. You are being manipulative to him by turning off your phone.

He sounds like he is simply distracted, give him a few days to work on his life, if he contacts you, respond positively. Ignoring him might just make him worried.

At the same time, it seems like he isn't quite ignoring you, just distracted. He needs to do a better job at conveying that message to you. You then need to back off when he says he is busy.

Just relax, take a deep breath.


Try not to beat yourself up about it. It seems like you really mean well, you just are getting too worried about it :)

Okay. I won't. I will just turn my phone back on and continue to live my life the way I did before I met him. Which was independent.Your right. I've calmed down a bit from earlier today I was far more worst than before(on the first day).

It's really about finding the right balance between independence and dependence on your partner. As long as you learn from the mistakes, you can get better at it! Nobody is perfect.

Try to not turn your phone off, rather than just not bug him til' he reply's to you.. in which you are being supportive, especailly if you tell him, "Hun, I am going to give you so space, because I know you're busy.. and I am sorry.. lol".. Inorder to be supportive you need to show you care.. Even more if you want him to know you're being supportive and you care.. right now you're just playing games.. and honestly it won't always work..

Try the more positive approach and see what happens.. You've been together for almost a year now, TLK thing out as well! :3

I found out some things about my boyfriend that he didn't tell me and at first it was okay with me, like I decided to let it go and accept his faults. But when I finally came to the realization that I could be living all a lie with him. Some of the things I found out were like his true idenity and "maybe" kids that he had before he met me. Im not too good with communication with him because whenever I see him I get so excited and he make me feel so comfortable and I feel so safe, also the same with being on the telephone. So, I decided to express my feelings through a text which consisted of 9 pages. Well, he in turn never did respond until 5 hours later and it was just a forward message. Two hours later he sent another forward message. So, since he didn't comment it on the serious situation at hand I just decided to brush him off too. Following the next few days he just sent more forward messages, then he finally sent one that said ll is..!. I didn't have my phone at the time because I couldn't find my charger. So when I finally did find it like 2 days later I got that message and never did respond. A couple of my friends told me that he was trying to get me to talk to him but that's so not the way man. I was expecting to hear anything from him and not just a damn forward message, that really showed how much he cared unless he just didn't care. So, I mean I really "did" love him and we have been together for so long. I want to move on now but my heart is pulling me back. Thank you so much in advance for your answers..

Wow, there are so many things wrong with this picture I don't even know where to begin. You find out that your boyfriend that you've "been together with for so long" MAY have KIDS from a previous relationship that you never told you about and your best way to approach this is to send him a 9 page text message? You can't communicate any issues with him because whenever you see him it's all sunshine and lollipops. How old are you two?

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Originally Posted by Sweetgirl10

Following the next few days he just sent more forward messages, then he finally sent one that said ll is..!. I didnt have my phone at the time because i couldnt find my charger. So when i finally did find it like 2 days later i got that message and never did respond. A couple of my friends told me that he was trying to get me to talk to him but thats so not the way man. I was expecting to hear anything from him and not just a damn forward message, that really showed how much he cared unless he just didnt care.

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I don't understand this. Your friends said he was sending you texts to try to get you to talk to him and you don't agree that's the right way to go about this.. which is sort of what you did.

And to think if you had just spoke to him in PERSON about this, you wouldn't be waiting by your phone for 5 hours for some kind of response.

This isn't some sort of little petty fight, this guy has been lying and he may have children. Put your phone down and talk to face to face.

And to answer your question, yes I believe you need to move on. He hasn't been honest with you, you two have horrible communication and it doesn't seem like either of you are willing to put in the necessary effort to make this relationship work.

I agree. I don't want to know anymore, I will just let it go.

Cell phones do not seem to be a good idea in this relationship. They seem to lead to game playing and not open communication.

I agree that you need to get out of this relationship and give yourself time for healing. Take that time to determine what you want in a relationship. Then take your time finding someone who is willing to be open and honest with you from the beginning. Someone you feel you can trust to be honest with you.

Don't allow yourself to fall into the habit of using texts and phones for important conversations. If you don't feel able or comfortable discussing your needs and concerns face-to-face, then it isn't going to be a healthy relationship.