Ok so my girlfriend and I have been absolute best friends and in love for 2 years. Everything was fine but we sometimes fought no big deal. We graduated from high school this month and I went on vacation for a week with my family. Came back and it was all fine. Last Monday night she told me out of nowhere she only likes me as a friend now and needs space. To make a long story short I have been a disaster. I lost my best friend and the love of my life. She says she still loves me as a best friend and misses me but wants to still be best friends. I think she also has a new boy in her life she met at work because she went to a bbq at his house a few days after but she says he is only a friend. She tells me she doesn't want me to feel pain and to move on in my life and if its meant to be its meant to be and we will get back together. I told her she needs her space because for like a year and a half she never has spent time with friends, just lived a life consumed with me. I went and talked to her 3 times since last Monday and she still says the same things. That she hasn't eaten all week and misses me but we need to move on and needs space and if its meant to be its meant to be. I talked to her on myspace and she told me she needs me in her life as a friend and I told her I need her to be my women or nothing. What do I do? I know I need to cut off contact and hopefully she goes crazy wondering what I'm doing because she is used to being with me 24/7 and comes back. Any advice or input is much appreciated, thank you.

Honestly, I think she met someone new and is keeping you on the side, sounds like she is keeping you close just in case her new thing doesn't work... I know it will be hard but you should start trying to move on yourself

I can't believe it though. The guy is 20 years old she is nothing like that. She is only 17

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She tells me she doesn't want me to feel pain and to move on in my life and if its meant to be its meant to be and we will get back together.

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No more boyfriend/girlfriend that's over.

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I went and talked to her 3 times since last Monday and she still says the same things. That she hasn't eaten all week and misses me but we need to move on and needs space and if its meant to be its meant to be. I talked to her on myspace and she told me she needs me in her life as a friend

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Translation, friends or hit the bricks buddy! She doesn't want to be your woman

That means leave her alone, and do as she said... move on.

Thanks for the honest answers. What is the chances she will come back if I don't talk to her at all? I know I need to move on she is ruining me. I will be out with buddies and when I wake up in the morning or if Im at work I start to think about her and get upset wondering why she would throw it all away out of nowhere. Hey friends are also my close friends and they think she is going crazy. She is acting weird and feels sick all day. Maybe she is just confused?

Stop wondering guy and work to get your own life straight without her. No one can predict what someone else will do, no matter how bad you want them to do as you want. That's not how life works.

Whether she is confused or not, don't make it you who is confused. Leave her alone. Anything you do will make things worse. Sorry guy for your loss.

Thanks for the advice you are so right. If she doesn't want this then she doesn't deserve me.

She isn't confused--your just stuck denial.

She broke up with you because she doesn't want to be in a relatiosnship with you. She is young and wants to explore so right now respect her honesty.

Relationship comes with no guarantees and break-ups happens. You need to let go and accept it is over. I know break-ups sucks but life goes on. You can't make someone be with you.

I started no contact today, only last hope. I can heal and get my together and hopefully she misses me and comes back, If not then I'll be strong and ready to keep going.

You're on the right path, do NC to heal, not to win her back

She said she needs me in her life because we are so close and I said I can't be your friend only your man.She is still sick feeling and misses me deep down. She said she broke up with me because we don't feel like boyfriend and girlfriend anymore and finally has time to herself. Do I do here I'm so confused. She said she NEEDS me in her life, yet she said she needs time for herself. So if I NC for a while I'm guessing she will go crazy without me and come back. Also she broke up with me exactly 3 weeks before our 2 year anniversary. So she may come back before then. I didn't see this coming, she talked about our 2 year and how happy she is its coming.


Damn women confuse me ;(

More or less the same story as me... but my ex didn't come back. She just stringed me along until she was well enough to be without me. I am ready to bet she won't come back to you. You should move on as it is quite clear she doesn't want you back especially since she has been with that other guy.

How long does nc last until they call?

NC is for you not her. You can sit around and wait for her all you want but your only be holding on to false hope. She may never return to you.

You're the cause for your own confusion not her.

Leave her alone. She may or may not come back. My guess is she won't.
NC is for you. Simply put, it is weaning yourself off her.
I wish you well.

Dang I thought a lot of couples got back together... this sucks... NC is harder than hell!

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Originally Posted by madb

dang I thought a lot of couples got back together....this sucks...NC is harder than hell!

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Nope, you don't always get what you want. Sometimes people break up because they are not meant to be a couple. You guys spent too much time with each other, she sounded too emotionally dependent. Not a healthy relationship. You both need to breathe and grow.
Use this time to reflect and grow. Learn things about yourself, do things apart from her.

Dude NC is REALLY REALLY hard. I'm on day 2. I'm so depressed and heartbroken. But we just got to keep at it I guess...

Yea, that's what NC is about. It's hard in the beginning then it gets easier. Be patient and take care of yourself.

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Originally Posted by madb

I think she also has a new boy in her life she met at work because she went to a bbq at his house a few days after but she says he is only a friend.

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Biz Markie has a few words about that.

Your instincts are probably right, she found a new interest. You're both really young so this type of stuff is going to happen.

Stick to NC and after a few months you'll be good.

So we have a mutual friend that is both one of our best friend and last night my ex and her went and hungout. She told her she said she really misses me badly but needs to be independent and live life single for a bit but not in relationships just herself. What does that mean? Later last night she texted me asking how I've been doing and I told her what I've been doing. Then I asked if she wanted to relax and have a good time sometime and she said sounds good! What do I think?

I know this is good for both of us. She has become waay to dependent of me and maybe this is her way of breaking loose for awhile and getting control to herself? I think she will come back but if she doesn't then at least I left her a better person...

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needs to be independent and live life single for a bit but not in relationships just herself. What does that mean?

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It means she wants the freedom to explore other options, and opportunities, with someone else besides you.

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Then I asked if she wanted to relax and have a good time sometime and she said sounds good! What do I think?

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Friendly stuff with no romance, is what she was agreeing to, you know to relax and enjoy, like you did before, but without any attachments, obligations, or commitment, other than friends, even if you get a hug, or kiss.

You let me know how that "hang out buddy" stuff works out for you.

Dude, the way things are happening to you is just similar to mine. Broke up without preparation, with your girl saying

She needs space
She can't be in a relationship
She says like you 2 are real good friends after the break up
She would contact you soon cause she misses you but DON'T WANT TO BE WITH U
She has a new *friend
She needs a single life
She needs to focus on whatever in her life

Well, from my point of view she might be confused. Stop contacting and one day she'll ask you out. If u touched the topic between u 2, she's going to say something different that confuses you and gives you false hope. See how it goes :)

This girl is all lovely, likes u, need u, but doesn't wan to be with u

Learn over the mistakes you did over the relationship, is it you or is it her?

Yea I am in a similar situation, my girl broke up with me about 2 months ago, and I get texts fairly often saying I miss you and love you and hate sleeping alone. Then I go after her and try to hang out and she backs off and ignores me for a few days. You need to back off and let her have that space. If there is another guy then there is another guy, its not the end of the world. Most likely if there is one it is just her experimenting and is a rebound, 90% of them don't work out and sometimes it gets you back together more quickly. You need to act like you don't care if she does, make her think you have moved on. Don't go out of your way to make her jealous, but act kind of distant and always like you are doing something. Make her feel like she is losing you, and she will come back.

Thanks for the advice^^^^^

I'll keep it updated. Part of me says f this ho and the other part of me wants her in my life :(

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Originally Posted by bswc

Dude, the way things are happening to u is just similar to mine. Broke up without preparation, with ur girl saying

She needs space
She can't be in a relationship
She says like you 2 are real good friends after the break up
She would contact u soon cause she misses u but DON'T WANT TO BE WITH U
She has a new *friend
She needs a single life
She needs to focus on whatever in her life

Well, from my point of view she might be confused. Stop contacting and one day she'll ask u out. If u touched the topic between u 2, she's going to say something different that confuses u and gives u false hope. See how it goes :)

This girl is all lovely, likes u, need u, but doesn't wan to be with u

Learn over the mistakes u did over the relationship, is it u or is it her?

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It was both of us. Ended up getting sick of each other because we spent so much time together and went on trips with family all the time, she was with me every second. Kind of smothered each other in a way.

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Originally Posted by madb

Thanks for the advice^^^^^

I'll keep it updated. Part of me says f this ho and the other part of me wants her in my life :(

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My ex broke up without any preparation as well. For your well being you are just going to have to say "f this ho". You can't change her mind and this way you can heal.

She texted me Sunday asking how I've been. Then I asked her if she wanted to go to dinner and she said she already ate. I texted her on Thursday and asked how she was and asked if she wanted to go to the movies and she said she had work the next day. I'm done with this girl, waste of time. But I saw the guy she was talking to at the gym and about got roid rage and smashed him up, but held back cause I knew it would make matters worst...

Hey brother, hang in there! Your feelings are dragging u around like a monster in rage. Do u want to be a monster? U said u're done with her but u came up with all the hey do u want to go out with me? Want to have a talk? How are u? ALL THE CRAP THAT WILL MAKE U FEEL GOOD AND GATHER ALL THE TRASH FEELING LATER.

My ex told me space etc.. being to dependent on each other.. she contacted me and wanted to hang out.. missed me love me but doesn't want to be with me.. same story.. I highly suggest you don't see her... it will give you false hope.. you need to cut her out.. I know its hard.. I had to tell my ex I couldn't handle her contacting me because it kept giving me false hope because I didn't have it in me to just ignore.. and told her I needed no contact to move on and may be in the future we can then be friends when I'm ready. I know the hardest part is letting go, and the feeling of, how can she do this? And how can she not give me a second chance? But the fact is, you have to deal with the cards given to you. Work out, hang out with friends, do things YOU enjoy, live life without her. Find a way to be happy with just yourself and not NEED her. Its taken me almost 3 months (screwed up at the beg of course, had a few relapses). Started with LC. Tried to win her back a few times, tried to change for her and not for me. But in the end.. the best thing to do was NC and change for yourself.. though I did use changing for her as motivation, till I could accept finally changing for just myself. In the end, what really helped, is I tell myself repeatedly if you truly love them let them go because you want them to be happy, even if it isn't with you. That is the true test of love. The break up can be a positive too from what you learn from the growth and experience. And your next relationship will be that much better, with or without her.

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Originally Posted by madb

Thanks for the advice^^^^^

I'll keep it updated. Part of me says f this ho and the other part of me wants her in my life :(

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I don't think she is a hoe, you need to get a clue. You ask her out she says "I'm busy". What is it you don't get.
You need to face the fact that she does not want to be with you.

I know.. I know... I think it just hurts when you get mixed signals you know what I mean?

Most times when we get dumped, we see things that gives us hope, because if she is nice to us as a friend would be, we think we are going to get them back. When they resist its easy to think the signals are mixed, but its us who are not reading her signals right. How can we, when we are still full of hope, and feelings? That's why you cut the contact, as its hard to believe she won't change her mind, when she acts friendly, but cuts you off at the knees, when you press for what you had back.

Usually when they break up and want to be "friends", it's an easy way out for them... this way they still have a level of comfort that they did during the relationship. And since you are always around to be there for them, it's exactly what they need. She didn't REALLY want to be friends with you, she's just being selfish and wants to string you along until she's comfortable without you. But you shouldn't focus on HER.

You almost need to think of this in a selfish manner. She broke things off, she's seeing another guy already, she's playing this push/pull game of "hanging out". What about you? She is showing that she has no respect for your well being or feelings and she's only thinking of herself and her own well being... so don't sit there for another minute waiting around for a person like that to come back.

Look I know breakups suck... we've all been there. But you need to constantly remind yourself that it is not about her anymore and it's about you. Do you really want to be with someone who does stuff like this to you? You are young and you have your whole future ahead of you, why waste it with someone who obviously doesn't give a damn about you?

Good luck!

I think you're right^

That's why each time we talk a little longer goes by until the next time we speak. Eventually she will prob, be gone :(


Sad but true/honest.

I don't think she is as bad as this guy says she is. You don't have to demonize the girl because she wants to be with someone else.
Your talks will get fewer and farther in between but I don't think she is being selfish. I think she genuinely cares for you but just does not want to be with you.
Dogging her out is tacky. Don't stoop to that level. You are too nice a guy.

That's right. In a couple to 3 months, she'll be gone dragging you along all the time. The best thing for you to do is to just cut everything off with her immediately. It's best for you and she suck up a little of that pain that comes from a break up too.

Good luck buddy. There's someone out there that won't do this to you. You just have to get past your high school catch and move on to the one that's ready for a more mature relationship. Just don't let high school catch drag you through the gutter. It will leave heavier marks at your age.

So again I say, good luck and more power to you.

She's playing your emotions like a violin. She says she wants to be best friends because if you accept that, she won't have to feel bad about breaking your heart to smithereens.

Forget her. She's just wanting to string you along, having all the benefits of having you around without having the commitment. RUUUN AWWAAAYYY!

At the gym tonight I ran into the guy. I'm pretty pissed off almost beat his . But if there is any hope in us getting back together then it's time to stop acting like a highschooler and move on and not worry about this weakling. Thanks for everyone's help and all the advice you have all giving me, I really appreciate it.I think I got it all together now. I'll be OK and I will post back every now and then :)

Yeah fighting the guy is juvenile. But you are young!
Get your mind off her. Are you going to college? You may have too much time on your hands at this point.