Look, I've been with my girlfriend for about a year and two months now. We live 30 minutes away and have always had a strong loving relationship. She has been extremely busy for the past few months with two jobs and softball. She recently told me that she wants a break but she's not even sure of this at all she was extremely upset and she was crying very hard. She thinks its not fair and that it kills her not to able to see me as often and that she loves me and doesn't want this to be the end at all. She seems to be extremely stressed, overwhelmed and confused right now. PLEASE WHAT CAN I DO or SHOULD I DO TO GET THIS GIRL BACK>

Man, that's the most frequently asked question here on AMHD.

What can I do to get him/her back?

There is no answer for this question. Well, there is and the answer is, you can't do anything. Seems as if she's really stressed with everything in her life at this point. She does not want to be with you right now as she asked for a break and she wants to figure things out, without you.

Give her space to let her cool down and see what she wants. More importantly, get yourself together and start living life without her. It's not going to be easy but you have to move on from this.

Only then will you be able to answer the real question when you start to see clearly, "do I even want her back?"

In the meantime, spend time with family and friends. After all, they are for life.

If she wants a break give it to her it's the best thing you can do don't contact her don't do anything just go out with your friends and have a good time. If she says she doenst want this to be the end then take her word for it but don't wait on her, remember that. When she straightens everything out with herself she will either come back to you ( since she doenst want it to end) or maybe not want to get back. The best thing you can do is not contact her and give her the space she needs

Know that most breaks are permanent.

I have a few questions are the two of you already on a break or she has mention that she wants one?

You stated you and her have a strong relationship but it really not. I have dated a guy with 3 jobs, yes three, and he always found time to spend with me. It wasn't as much wanted but I was very understanding to his work schedule and did a lot of compromising but this is what you do when you care for someone. Btw, he lived almost a hour away from me.

I think your girlfriend just wants to be free at time. Btw, if the two of you are on a break you and her are free to date other people because your aren't together. Just wanted you to know this.

AJ and JT, the rookies throwing down advice, and good advice at that! I am proud of you two. I don't really need to add anything.

When a female wants a break, as the others have said, GIVE IT TO HER! You either conquer problems together, or let them break you apart... (Rome)...

At any rate, who knows what will happen. But, the more time you spend on wasted thoughts of trying to control a human being, the less time you have to enjoy your own life. Focus on you and if she wants some time apart, let it be.

Give her the space she needs. You can not do anything to get the girl back. It is up to the girl whether she wants to come back or not.

Leave her alone, and let her be. Is the best thing you can do at this point.

Give her the space she asked for, let her clear her head. During this time you do the same, take up a hobby that you've been wanting to do. Clear heads and clear hearts always make better decisions

Threads merged and edited.

. So what do i do? Do i keep talking to her everyday when she texts me or calls? I mean this talking is far less than when we went out but she still does it. I love the girl and want her back obviously but idk what the to do. <help>

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Originally Posted by pbuck4658

SO WHAT DO I DO?

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It may be difficult but just give her what she wants. Use this time to reflect yet find something else to work on.

Give her what she wants, space. Don't put your life on hold because of her, get out there and live life!

At the age of 18, I will tell you that you need to enjoy life man. This is drama you DO NOT need. Worry about other things, like where the next party is, or about getting into college, things of that nature. Don't worry about a relationship. Too young man. Give her the space and live it UP!

She might be a great girl, but she's obviously too busy to do all the relationship stuff that you want.

First, you got to accept her situation. Then you got to decide, do you want to put up with it or move on...

You are really young, there's no reason for you to put up with this type of situation. You are only making yourself suffer unnecessarily.

A relationship is about TWO people not just one.

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she knows that when she can't text me much and hang out in a relationship i tend to get mad and upset so basically her idea is that she doesn't consider it being a relationship during these next two weeks and feels that these weeks will not only strengthen our relationship but make things easier.

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She is putting you on hold to give you time to evaluate your own behavior, and figure out if your worth all the BS when you don't get the attention you want. It also makes it easier to not get back into a relationship with you.

Give her all the space she needs, and enjoy your life, with other options, and opportunities. Whether you get back together or not, the real lesson is how you deal with yourself, your feelings, and any partner you get with.

Being mad, and upset because they have other things besides you that they like to deal with, will keep you alone every time.

Learn to make adjustments that work for you.

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Originally Posted by talaniman

She is putting you on hold to give you time to evaluate your own behavior, and figure out if your worth all the BS when you don't get the attention you want. It also makes it easier to not get back into a relationship with you.

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You make a lot of sense and I can tell you have great experience on giving advice in this field. In your own opinion and experiences and note that I was this girl's "firsts" in everything, if you had to make a decision because obviously you don't know for sure would you say that she will come back.

Don't know, don't care, but if your worried about what she is doing, or will do next, YOU are distracted from the real point, what you do about the turn of events your in.

While I understand that a break up sucks, and has our emotions, and feelings all over the place, You must give yourself time to get over the feelings, where you can deal with them in a positive way for yourself, and get over the shock after a break up.

There is no timetable to this, but leaving her alone helps, and keeps you from being confused, because you want her back so badly.

That's called NO CONTACT. Yes I have been dumped a few times.

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Originally Posted by talaniman

Don't know, don't care, but if your worried about what she is doing, or will do next, YOU are distracted from the real point, what you do about the turn of events your in.

While I understand that a break up sucks, and has our emotions, and feelings all over the place, You must give yourself time to get over the feelings, where you can deal with them in a positive way for yourself, and get over the shock after a break up.

There is no timetable to this, but leaving her alone helps, and keeps you from being confused, because you want her back so badly.

Thats called NO CONTACT. Yes I have been dumped a few times.

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I agree bro but the only problem is that she continues to contact me and like last night she texted me and said I'm going to bed and that she doesn't know if she should say this but she loves me and I just said goodnight beth after that. I know I got to move on and and not dwell on it but when I get that text or contact from her everyday at one point usually at night my heart drops and its like its back over again.

"when she can't text me much and hang out in a relationship i tend to get mad and upset so basically her idea is that she doesnt consider it being a realtionship during these next two weeks and feels that these weeks will not only strenghten our relationship"

SHE MAKES SENSE.

Just keep your distance. People take breaks all the time.
Let her breathe a bit. The less you say the better.
It will not hurt your case to be with her later. If you are polite and keep your distance she will have more interest in you and also see you can
No get mad and act like a guy who has a life... Do you?

Act like it and you all can be happier.

It's still early in the breakup, so you still feel traumatized. You got to give it some time. It seems very clear to me that she wants to break up with you and has no intention of getting back together. As for you, you seem to have some trouble accepting this idea. You think that she just needs time and she will come around?

Maybe that's true, but you cannot sit around waiting for that day, because that day might never come. It's time to move on with your life. You need to get her over and start preparing for college. In college, you will meet many more people and it will help you get over her. You can't be with someone who doesn't feel the same way about you. And maybe she felt that way about you before, but her feelings have clearly changed, otherwise she wouldn't have broken up with you in the first place.

Just give yourself time to move on. Don't contact her, otherwise you will just prolong the pain and suffering. Don't expect a call from her, because you are setting yourself up for disappointment.

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Originally Posted by pbuck4658

Look my gf just broke up with me about four days ago after a two week break that of which i contacted her all the time in. She seemed confused in breaking up with me and claimed it was because our realtionship has drifted in the past three months and wasnt the same as before. I have been strong and have not contacted the girl in four days. But what im wondering is if its positive to give her this space or negative. NOTE: she hasnt contacted me since either. Will she ever contact me? The last thing she said on the phone at the break up was Her: ttyl Me: yeah Her: Promise Me: yeah As i stated before i know college is coming up and stuff but my goal is to hook up with this girl at least once during the summer i know its possible i just wanna know whats my best approach.

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By hook up am I reading correctly that you want to have sex with her one last time before going to college? Is that what you mean?

On a side note, leave her be. Break ups are break ups, and there is no sense in making a complicated issue even more complicated.

Just leave it be. She chose to call it off for a reason. Its not working for her anymore. Don't chase her and just give her the space she wants. How would you feel if you wanted to call it quits and she kept contacting you. Wouldn't that be a little annoying when your trying to move on and she is throwing herself at you. You comment about wanting to hook up one last time during the summer is pretty sad in my opinion. It sounds like you want to stay on good terms with her so you can have a roll in the hay again. Get over it and roll around with someone else in the hay.

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my goal is to hook up with this girl at least once during the summer I know its possible I just want to know what's my best approach.

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Find something else to do.