Ask Me Help Desk - Online relationship. Need some suggestions.

Online relationship. Need some suggestions.

A lot of merged threads

Hi everyone. Here is my situation and I need some help.

Recently, I have met this wonderful girl through an online game. Started with flirty emails and then we added each other on messenger. Over the few week's time, I found myself falling for her. She seems to be a really nice girl and someone possibly I want to be with. The problem is I'm not sure if she is interested in me the same way, although she has been sending some signs of interest, I'm not sure of the intention. If it is being friendly or just for fun or whatever.

Anyway I have found out that she lives quite a ways from me. She lives in a different country, but its not across the world. (Canada/Us) although it does present its complications. I actually want something more than an online relationship with her but things are hard right now as we are both university students and we have other obligations such as family and our studies. It would be nice if I could get to know her and spend some time with her in person rather than just online.

I want to know if she is serious about us or she doesn't care about this relationship we have whatever it may be as much as I do. I like the way things are right now and I don't want to ruin it by asking her although it would be awesome if we can move forward someway, somehow given the circumstances. I am not in a rush for a relationship but I'm not sure if I should let her know how I feel. I am really happy I met her, and I would understand if she finds someone in person she could spend time her life with but it would be awesome if that was me. Lol.

I think I'm starting to fall for her. I don't know if that is actually possible through the internet but I got to know her really well. This is pretty much it. Ill update with more information later on but in the meantime I would like to know if you guys have any suggestions on this, and what do you guys think about my situation and what would you do if you were in my position?

Thanks in advance. :)

Hi, UntilTheEnd!

How long have you been communicating with her on the Internet, please? It would be helpful for us to know that.

Thanks!

Hey,

You enjoy her company. Just take it slowly. I so understand how you feel though bro.

Maybe try to let her know how you feel?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Clough

Hi, UntilTheEnd!

How long have you been communicating with her on the Internet, please! It would be helpful for us to know that.

Thanks!

Hm. About a little more than one month now roughly.

Okay, you like her, but keep it real, as your pen pals with a stranger, like it or not. If she were a live person, I would say the same thing, go slow, get to know them, have fun, but don't give a stranger your heart, and soul.

Whats the chances of meeting in person???

Weigh that against any feeling you may have.

I so know what you mean. I did just meet her and there's so much left to know about her. I just feel there is some chemistry. But yup you're right don't give a stranger your heart.

Chance of meeting her in person? Not so good.

Maybe one day life would bring us together. Only time will tell.

Anyway should I let her know how I feel about her guys?

Hi again, UntilTheEnd!

My opinion would be to give it considerable more time before you tell her and see how things develop as they are arranged currently.

There are lots of women in whom I would like to get to know and also be intimate, but the distances between us simply won't allow that you happen.

Tal is correct. Best to keep things real...

Thanks!

Get to know her a lot better because I doubt YOU know how you really feel after only a month.

Right now its only intense feelings, for another you LIKE, and may change later, especially if a real person catches your interest.

Keep it real, wait and see, and keep it in perspective.

I Say that because others have feelings too, and its too early to know anything at this point in time. Just be friends, for now.

Just like you don't want your heart broken, don't break someone else's either. I mean what's the hurry?

Why cant I find true love?

Hey guys, I'm 21 only had 1 girlfriend so far, she broke up with me and I put no contact in play just like what my friends told me. Basically I disappeared from her life. Im well over her now and its been almost a year now and I'm waiting for meet my true love.

I already know what she's going to be like because I thought of what type of person I want to spend my life with. I've been doing my own things lately but it would be nice if I could share my life with someone but I can't seem to find her or she can't seem to find me.

Also I think just disappearing from my ex, didn't leave us on good terms, I am certainly ready to forgive now. I've realized it was no one's fault it ended the way it did. Some people say, a good endings make good beginings.

I don't know what do you guys think?

Thanks in advance.

Hon, you are 21. You have a whole life ahead of you. Give it some time, and relax about it. Enjoy single life. Believe it or not you WILL miss it when you find your true love. Granted, many of us will trade the single life for our loved ones, but a young life lost is lost forever. Take this time for yourself. Go on a trip, go clubbing, try casual dating instead of 'looking for that one special person'

Because you haven't found yourself yet. True love is not a guarantee. The only life long relationship you will have is that with yourself. You haven't dug into yourself yet to find out what you really want and where you want life to take you. You have not found a purpose or drive with in so you search for it on the outside of you. You'll spend a lifetime searching that way. It's not until you take the time to learn and become comfortable with yourself will you be able to find your true happiness with someone else.

Thanks Jenniepepsi.

Chuff, I have found myself and I know where I want to go in life and all the things I want to do for myself like my career, my goals etc and that is my drive in life. Its just that it would be nice to have somebody to love and be with.

Your find someone when your not looking. Sounds weird but believe me it is so true.

Quote:

Originally Posted by jenniepepsi

Hon, you are 21. you have a whole life ahead of you. give it some time, and relax about it. enjoy single life. believe it or not you WILL miss it when you find your true love. granted, many of us will trade the single life for our loved ones, but a young life lost is lost forever. take this time for yourself. go on a trip, go clubbing, try casual dating instead of 'looking for that one special person'

Lol when I was small I always dreamed about getting married at 24 the perfect age. All my friends have a girlfriend or boyfriend and every time we hang out I feel left out. I know that shouldn't be a reason to find someone they seem so happy lol. I can be happy by myself but it would be awesome to have someone to share your life with.

Quote:

Originally Posted by liz28

Your find someone when your not looking. Sounds weird but believe me it is so true.

I heard of that! It happens when you least expect it? Lol so it might have happened a lot of times but is it really true? Lol

Anyway do you guys think I should make amends with my ex? I did just disappear from her life just like that. Does a good ending make a good beginning?

Sounds like you are still hooked on your last relationship. Let it go and open yourself up other people so that they can get to know you.

Just keep talking to and meeting new people. There's 6 billion people out there. Thought you might not meet every single one of them, there's still a good pool of people out there.

Quote:

Originally Posted by I wish

Sounds like you are still hooked on your last relationship. Let it go and open yourself up other people so that they can get to know you.

Just keep talking to and meeting new people. There's 6 billion people out there. Thought you might not meet every single one of them, there's still a good pool of people out there.

Actually I'm not hooked up anymore its been almost a year. I just thought, maybe its time to have closure and leave things on good terms while we go our separate ways. I was sad, then mad and now I see that it just wasn't meant to be and no one was to blame.

Quote:

Originally Posted by UntilTheEnd

Actually im not hooked up anymore its been almost a year. I just thought, maybe its time to have closure and leave things on good terms while we go our separate ways. I was sad, then mad and now i see that it just wasnt meant to be and no one was to blame.

Closure? See what I mean? You're still hooked. You feel like there's still unfinished business right? I'll help you skip a few steps. Just talking to her will not necessarily help you with closure. In might have the reverse effect. You might open a can of worms.

Closure comes from within. You got to find closure within yourself.

You guys are broken up. There's nothing to fix or mend. If you were meant to be friends one day, then you will find each other and it will happen naturally. It's not suppose to be forced.

Quote:

Originally Posted by liz28

Your find someone when your not looking. Sounds weird but believe me it is so true.

definitely true. I met my husband randomly and unexpectedly in the taco bell drive through! Lol

Quote:

Originally Posted by jenniepepsi

definately true. i met my husband randomly and unexpectedly in the taco bell drive thru! lol

I have to hear this whole story.

To the OP your not over your ex. Didn't you state you and your ex break-up was mutal? If so, what is this about closure, after a year?

Quote:

Originally Posted by liz28

To the OP your not over your ex. Didn't you state you and your ex break-up was mutal? If so, what is this about closure, after a year?

Nope it wasn't mutual, she broke up with me for another guy but I'm all over it now and I disappeared from her life without a single word, I just thought it would be good to leave things on good terms and start our life without each other.

Quote:

Originally Posted by UntilTheEnd

nope it wasnt mutual, she broke up with me for another guy but im all over it now and i disappeared from her life without a single word, i just thought it would be good to leave things on good terms and start our life without each other.

She left on good terms a year ago. Her life continued or started or whatever you want to call it. She's fine. It's your turn to be fine now. She care about you anymore and she doesn't need you to start her life so start your own life without her.

Chuff, instead of stealing this thread I made a post here. https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/lounge...ml#post1735864

I tried to put it on a comment but I had already given you rep and it wouldn't let me give you more LOL

Quote:

Originally Posted by chuff

She left on good terms a year ago. Her life continued or started or whatever you want to call it. She's fine. It's your turn to be fine now. She care about you anymore and she doesn't need you to start her life so start your own life without her.

Okay Chuff, that was all I needed to hear. I ll do exactly that.

I think my boss's daughter is cute.

Lol okay guys. Here's the situation, I got a summer job at this company. Been working there for a few weeks and just a few days ago, my boss's daughter started to working there. I think she looks cute but I'm shy to talk to her and also I don't think my boss would appreciate it if I hit on her. We're about the same age, plus there's not many young people that work there. Whenever, she walks by, I get all nervous lol. Anyway, what do you guys think? How do I overcome my shyness to talk to her? Do you think it's a good idea hitting on the boss's daughter?

I think it's a horrible idea to hit on the boss's daughter.

Work on your shyness by becoming friends with females. Often when you are friends with female, you will find out there isn't that much to be afraid of... they are the same as you, just different. :D

Well if you're only working during the summer, then you can start hitting on her when you go back to school. That way, there won't be a conflict of interest.

Yup, I agree with the above 2 posts.

Work on your shyness and be friends with her. Her father (your boss) can't say no to you guys being friends. Hang out... talk... get to know her.

Then once you are done working there, be friends with her for a little while more, then eventually ask her out. Don't ask her out as soon as you stop working there though..

Regrets of losing virginity.

Hi everyone.

Just in case you guys don't know, I have recently broke up with my ex. She was my first love and first girlfriend and everything. Im still healing although I think I'm getting better now its been almost 2 months since I last talked to her, I disappeared from her life.

Anyway, recently I've been regretting I lost my viriginity to her because I wanted my first to be with someone special and someone who I was going to be with for the rest of my life, I thought it was her. I guess its my fault, I thought me and her were going to be together forever but she left me for some other guy. I just don't feel so good. I regret losing my virginity to her and its something I can't take back. Anyway I'm not sure what my question is, I guess I wanted to know what you guys think about this.

A good 90% of men and women polled would admit that the regret losing their virginity, when they lost their virginity, to whom they lost their virginity.

Everyone has an ideal and sometimes life doesn't work out the way we had planned. I was going to be married at 23, have four children, Frankie, Freddie, Fergie, and Francis, before I was 28.

Life will change you, learn from it and grow as an individual, it's the best you can do. You can't change your past, it's behind you.

You will find that what you bring to your romantic life determines the meaning of it more than anything historic. Pretty much everybody does it the way it happens, rather than the way they would have planned. You have already found that out. If it's important to you, just know that plenty of guys feel the same, and keep in mind that you loved the woman who was your first.

Tao

What has happened has happened, keep it as a fond memory ( and hopefully over the years it becomes one) I still remember and have keep a specail place in my heart for well over 30 years.

That's why so many religions beileve in sex after marriage.

Think about it this way, let's say you regret not going to be a different high school or university, but you had a great prom and graduation. Those events kind of made the whole educational experience worth it. A little bit different but...

She may have hurt you now, but she was really special to you at one point in your life. So instead of having a horrible memory of her, add this to the good times that you once had and move forward with that.

I understand that was something of value that you felt like you could have offered someone. But on the flip side if that was something of value that she could not appreciate, you are better off letting her have the virginity and giving the love to someone who will appreciate it.

I too wanted that fairy tale of being with just one person forever. And I thought I had found it. But it didn't work out. And like you I had those feelings about giving myself to her. But I decided to look at it a different way.

I said to myself. You truly loved her at the time. And you wanted to be with her. There's nothing wrong with that. And at least you gave it to someone you really loved. Not some random drunk fling. And after that I never regretted what had happened. It was just a different fairy tale.