OK this is the most difficult situation I've ever been in.I been knowing my girlfriend for 2years and we been going out for a little over a year 4/1/08 to be exact.I grown to love thhis girl very much as we been together. I ve grown close with her family as I grown with her and all of them know me very well.shes met most of my family and they all know about each other.but to get to the point this year I heavent made the best choices in feb I went to jail and was not allowed to come back home... so my girlfriends mom took me in.she laid down some rule which I did very well to follow but I broke the bigset one.me and my girlfriend were starting to engage in sexual intercourse while the mom was out then she came home and found out.but nothing happened the reason this is such a big deal is because I'm 19 and my girlfriend is 16.:o ever sense thAT night the family turned on me completely.they don't like me at all the mom said I raped her daughter and called the cops on me there was no actions taken by the police. But I'm not sure what to do... :confused: the mom said even if we had sex she wouldn't do this because I'm only 3 years older then her and she was OK with it.. because the moms 42 and my girlfriends dad is 61. So she said its not a problem.she won't let me see her out side of school and she got completely upset because my girlfriend ditched class to see me so we have more time together. The mom went all crazy came to school yelling at me say I'm ruining her and her daughters life and that she wants to get a restraing order.I ve been threw a lot in this realationship and so has my girlfriend and we both still want to be with each other. But life keeps pulling us apart.I know its against the law to have sex with her and we never have. That night we didn't even do any thing.I really love her a lot and nomatter what we tell the mom she won't beleave us.I all ways thought it was OK for us to go out because everybody knows how old we are and I mean everybody the teachers at school,her family,my family,all our friends and even the school cop knows we don't hide it and we never tried. I'm just confused on what to do to get the moms trust again

oh and the night the mom walked in she made my girlfriend strip naked and wooped her really really bad = ( I got in the middle and tried to calm the mom down and she wouldn't listne she kept yelling and cusing. Told me to get the f out her house I didn't at 1st because I was scared for my girlfriend but then she stared telling me to leav and that it will be OK I left but I could hear her screaming and crying from 3 houses down so I called the cops =( even know they didn't do any thing I don't know if I was right for doing that

Depending on where you live you could be charged with statutory rape. But since 16 is the legal age of consent in a lot of places that could be why no charges were filed.

But you chose well for your name here. DUMB is an understatement. Have you never heard the saying; you don't defecate (cleaned up) where you live?

This family was nice enough to take you in any repay them by violating their daughter?

At this point I would move out and wait until the girl is 18 before you see her again.

Unless there is a pattern of abuse, I doubt if anything more can be done.

Yea I moved awhile ago. And I talked to the school cops he said he's not going to do any thing about it.I know that the mom tokk me in but I did a lot for her.and I've never been a bad influnce on mygirlfrien I always pushed her to do her best and she has her grades went up she stopped getting in trouble while I lived there she did more things around the house.I didn't violate any body nothing even happened.and yea its not a pattern it just happened that night but she tells her she's going to do it again but never dose..

Your lucky that wasn't my daughter because you wouldn't had been dating her.

Also, it is somehow the parents fault because who allows their 16 year old daughter to move in their 19 year boyfriend? Did they really think the two of you wasn't going have sex? What stone age are they in? Then when the two of you it "OMG I can believe it lets call the cops and cry rape." Please

Next thing you can compare your girlfriend mother and boyfriend ages because they are adults and your girlfriend is underage. So you can date someone 10 years older because you're an adult but your girlfriend isn't. Btw, why can you date someone your age?

Food for thought: Educate yourself on the age of consent law because I know you don't want to be label a pedophile for the rest of your life because you slept with someone that wasn't of age.

I agree with Liz, I'm not going to let any guy date my daughters especially someone who is legally considered an adult.

You violated your girlfriend's mothers trust, you're wrong, nothing else but that. Leave this girl alone as she is still a child and lives under her mom's rules, if she can prove you are the cause of her missing school, a restraining order can be issued.

Yes, my daughter and it would have been you getting the "wooping" so to speak.

I know in GA that there is no permission for a 16 year old to have sex, so here you would be guility of rape and go to jail.

At 19 you can date and have sex with a 29 year old if you want, but not a 16 year old.

Sorry you are lucky you don't have a new "girlfriend" named bubba in the county lock up.

The parents set out one rule - don't bang their daughter. You did. So, what did you expect here?

Regardless of the legal issues, you chose to disrespect her family and show that you cared more about yourself than you did about them. I understand that you have feelings for her, and she obviously has feelings for you too. But you chose to risk the roof over your head for a few minutes of fun? That's just not practical, dude.

If I was in your situation...well, I don't know what I'd do. Your actions just come off as a bit selfish to me, but I do understand how hard it is to resist someone you care about (especially at that age, haha).

Best of luck, but learn from this situation and realize that you've got a longer road ahead of you to earn back the family's trust.

~ Tee

With a title like that one, I had to read this post!

I'm confused if I'm missing something here. He did NOT have sex with the daughter... at least that's what he says. He makes this quite clear though, he never did anything with her, and in fact when the daughter was being abused he called the cops on her mother to report it. In fact HE is the one who brought the police into this, not mom.

So I agree with the OP, he did the right thing, if her mother makes here strip down and take a beating that can be heard 3 houses down calling the police was the right thing to do. It sounds like the mother tried to create a situation for this young man to take the fall and the cops, who normally would love to arrest someone for this supposed crime saw right through it.

Having said all that, you have to get a place of your own. You can not depend on your girlfriends parents and it's only going to create more tension with that nut case running the house. She's going to set you up for something if you catch her on a bad day, and she nor your girlfriend are worth that. Right now has to be about focusing on yourself, and bringing some stability into your life. To do that the first step is creating some independence for yourself and that means getting away from these two. Your girlfriend is still legally liable by the abuser so until she turns 18 you may have to take a break. But right now, this has to become about you, and what you can do to create your own life so you don't have to get involved with messed up people like her mother.

Chuff, I do think you read the post wrong, or maybe I did. He did admit to having sexual intercourse with her and that her family found out then the mother called the police. He also had gotten kicked out of his own house for being sent to jail in February.

Not trying to be an arse, just trying to clear up confusion

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Originally Posted by Romefalls19

Chuff, I do think you read the post wrong, or maybe I did. He did admit to having sexual intercourse with her and that her family found out then the mother called the police. He also had gotten kicked out of his own house for being sent to jail in February.

Not trying to be an arse, just trying to clear up confusion

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Please fill free to be an arse.

Having said that, I reread it and I guess he did say he was starting to have sexual relations when mom came home. I guess I missed that the first time. It is kind of hard to follow because then the mother apparently says it would be okay because of the age difference between her and the girl's father and the keeps the girl at home so it's not okay. He also says he's the one that called the 5-0.

Forget about the girl and mom, I stand by my point though, he needs to get out of this house and on his own to create some independence for himself. He's just a boy until he can stand on his own and this is the time to prove to himself that he can.

I think he meant that "her mom said he raped her and called the cops" if you are meaning this line "they dont like me at all the mom said i raped her daughter and called the cops on me there was no actions taken by the police."

I do agree with your point about needing to get out of this house though. It's the best for all of the parties involved.

Guys.

This;

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me and my girlfriend were starting to engage in sexual intercourse while the mom was out then she came home and found out.but nothing happend

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And this;

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I know its against the law to have sex with her and we never have. That night we didn't even do any thing

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Sounds like they started to have sex but got interrupted before the deed was done.

The main problem is the mother took him in, had one main rule and he intended on violating it. Too much disrespect for me

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Originally Posted by Romefalls19

The main problem is the mother took him in, had one main rule and he intended on violating it. Too much disrespect for me

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True, and I agree, but if no penetration actually occurred then he will likely not be charged as a sex offender, especially because mommy dearest let him live with her 16 year old daughter.

I just think Mommy was a bit naïve. Come on, a 19 year old and a 16 year old, dating, leave them alone, what do you think's going to happen?

It's best for the OP to move away and wait for the smoke to settle.

If you love her now you'll love her later.

Good luck.

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Originally Posted by Altenweg

Sounds like they started to have sex but got interrupted before the dead was done.

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HEY NOW, we don't know what kind of lay she would be!














Sorry, I couldn't resist.

It is disrespectful for a guy to come into a woman's home and use it to have sex with his daughter, no matter how bad she is. He's damaged that relationship for sure.

Come on Alten, wouldn't you love honesty from your daughter's boyfriend?

"Hey mom, this is my boyfriend"
"Hey Mrs. Alten, I'm going to take your daughter to the movies then have sexual intercourse with her"

::Alten loads shotgun::

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::Alten loads shotgun::

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And digs hole in the yard! :)

Young fella your lucky to be alive but you obviously don't care that this female goes against her parents to be with you and skips classes and almost has sex.

You want trust back from her parents? Stop helping her to behave badly, against her parents wishes. I don't care what that goofy school cop says.

Man I didn't know I messed up that bad.chuff and romefalls we started kissing and things strted going further but I didn't put anything in I didn't lick anything and she didn't suck anything.but when people found out they sain the same things it was bound to happen and was going to happen.I didn't think I was going to she's a virgain and I haven't had sex like at least 6months before I went out with her. I'm trying to reastablish this realationship between me and the mom. And I didn't intend to violate any rule I should have known better nut lost control.this happened like a month ago so I been stayen away from the mom sense then.I beeen left that house that night. I called the cops that night and she called the next day I had the principle see if there was a warent out for my arest he said the school said know.my grilfriend said no report was taken they just listened to the story and left.but o flet guilty for calling the cops besause the mom has a day care, but if you heard her sceam the way I did and saw what I saw anybody would have did it, well at least I think so.I realize now I betrade the trust.. ill wait to get it back I just don't know how yesterday I called her to see if I could pick up my clothes from her house and she was like a different person she was all polite and said hi,bye and even wasn't goining insane.I just want to keep it that way, I know I put myself at risk being with her but she's worth it that's why I don't want to leave her she's the only one who wrote me in jail she brang her mom her sister and my techers to my court date not even my family came so its like if she left I would just have myself, and I don't really want to be alone, and I saw her streesed one day and thouht I should keep my problems to myself but then it made things worse I tried to take a break and she was crying and thought it was because I didn't care about her after we wrked things out and I explained to her why I wanted to take a break she said she wants to be here with me no matteer what.I just want to fix what I broke not end things

If you love her the way you do then you should wait until she is 18. This way you don't have to worry about the cops being call whenever the mom goes through one of her moods.

It it painfully obvious that you have to find and get a relationship with yourself. You said if she's not in your life you'll feel alone. Instead it should be, you'll feel like your independent and confident. You are depending on someone else for happiness, and that is not healthy. Where do you live now? You need to get out on your own, because you need to prove to yourself you can do it for yourself.

I gota good realationship with myself.. im not sure if this is good or bad but out of no where the mom let me and my girlfriend hang out dose this mean she's tryna give me another chance??

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Originally Posted by i go 18dumby

i gota good realationship with my self..

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This is not an insult because the truth is I would have said the same thing at your age but that comment is ridicules. You have been in trouble with the law, you have had to move into your girlfriends house, and you have no experience doing for yourself in the real world. To be honest, I'm not even sure if I can give you any advice other then you might have to just live life to learn. But that's sort of my point, when I keep saying you need to get out on your own and find your own independence. You've never done anything on your own, and no offense, but I don't know to many woman older then you that want to be with a guy that has to live in their own mother's basement. That might work when she's 16 but that's only because she doesn't know any better at that age and she's still stuck under her mother's roof.

Your relationship with yourself is dependent upon everybody but you, so how can you have one? You follow up telling us you have a good relationship with yourself by asking this question...

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Originally Posted by i go 18dumby

im not sure if this is good or bad but out of no where the mom let me and my girlfriend hang out dose this mean shes tryna give me another chance???

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Your current situation is dependent upon the mother of your girlfriend. You can't honestly tell me you are independent.

Furthermore, given the history between her mother and you, why would you even get suckered into this again? Okay, love is an addiction and I understand that, but don't you think you'd prove to her mother your to be trusted by going out and getting a place of your own and job to support yourself or doing something that shows your independent and not waiting on either your girlfriend or her mother to make a decision for you?

That's becasuse I di a lot of stuff for myself I'm rentimg a room now I pay my own rent I'm saving for a car,etc... but I do understand what you mean

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Originally Posted by i go 18dumby

thats becasuse i di alot of stuff for my self im rentimg a room now i pay my own rent im saveing for a car,ect...but i do understand what you mean

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Sweet. This is a great start.

Start!! I been paying rent every where I been sense I turned 18 the day of my 18th birthday my dad made me pay rent.I struggle everyday like most people but I could take care of myself